I’ll be honest: I’m a bitch. I have no problem telling it like it is, talking about someone behind his/her back or telling secrets about people I hate. This is why people fight to stay on my good side.

Which is why people are so surprised when they find out about my passion for animals. I cry when those commercials for animal shelters come on the TV, I have to look away from movies or TV shows when an animal gets injured and I wanted to personally kill Michael Vick when it was discovered he was running that evil dog fighting ring.

It is weird, I know, but I can’t help but feel for creatures who don’t have a voice to defend themselves. Yes, even if they have the teeth or claws to do so.

Like sharks. (Yes, I am being completely serious!) Sharks are most often thought of as predators, but lately off the coast of Florida they have become victims. In the past year more and more sharks have been found murdered in the water. There is no excuse for harming another life - especially an innocent one - and it is up to us to protect every creature on this planet.

Please take a moment to sign the attached petition and protect the sharks and our planet’s wildlife.

I ooze class when I’m wasted. And Saturday, class was just coming out of my pores. I went up to a friend’s house in Connecticut for her graduation party. The party started at two and of course there was the requisite family time. With only a few glasses of wine under my belt and a lot of delicious finger foods, family time was no problem. The problem began at around 5 when the high school friends arrived. When I couldn’t find a bottle of water, I figured beer was the next best thing. After a game of drunk bat (don’t ask) we proceeded to the after party. Thus began my demise.

When I was an undergrad, I guess getting incredibly shit-housed what somewhat acceptable. We all did it. It happened to everyone at some point (or at lots of points) during those four years. Unfortunately for me, I had to do it just one more time before I realized that getting frat party drunk should have been left behind when I left college. Read More »

Are you ever out somewhere, like….walking around, or at the store or the zoo or some really lame party, and think, “I could really use a beer bong right now.â€?You’re in luck! Meet the Jellyfish, an inflatable beer bong with three tubes that you can fold up and keep in your pocket!! And guess what it looks like…..yup yup…..a jellyfish! See?

Okay, if you’re at the store or the zoo, you probably don’t wanna whip out the Jellyfish and start downing beer, (illegal) but a lame party would be perfect. You’d turn the night around in a second - what college student doesn’t LOVE the Beer Bong?

Guys love them because they can challenge their buddies and look tough and girls love them because they get you drunk quickly and by doing them, you impress the guys! And pulling one out of your pocket would be so cool.

The Jellyfish is only $12.99, but I mean….come on, it’s a piece of plastic that looks like a weird sea creature that you pour cheap beer into, so that price seems pretty reasonable. Or, if you’re feeling especially crafty, make one yourself.

Check out this sick video of a 100 person beer bong at University of Wisconsin.

They sure know how to party….

Summer — a time for barbeques, trips to the beach, and some serious drinking. So where the hell does waking up at the crack of dawn fit in?

Not long ago, 1 p.m. was an acceptable hour for me to drag myself out of bed. My roommate would often upstage my extreme sleeping habits by dozing into the late afternoon. We would shudder collectively at the thought of waking up at the extreme early morning hour of 10 a.m.

However, as soon as the summer began and I moved back to a land free of all nighters in the study lounge, loud parties across the hall, and most importantly, the incessant overbearing stress of school, I began to wake up at 7 a.m. on a daily basis for my internship and job.

I’m not going to pretend it was easy. The first few days the morning sun burned my eyes and I had to physically throw myself out of bed. I cursed myself for having responsibilities and stumbled around my house like a wounded animal. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Despite this rocky start, it wasn’t long before I began to recognize the many benefits of rising at a decent hour:

Breakfast: Let’s get real. Breakfast food is some of the best stuff out there. Bagels, pancakes, cereal, fruit- it doesn’t get much better than that. Having time to actually eat it is a precious opportunity. Not only is breakfast food delicious, it’s part of a nutritionally balanced diet. Read More »

The world isn’t getting any easier. Judging by the recent headlines, there’s more to be shook up about than ever. Add a little end of semester jitters and it’s quite possible that a third installment of Spring Semester Freak-Out Remedies might be in order.

This time, I thought I’d give away a few evening rituals that I’ve learned over the years. I’m a hopeless case when it comes to sleep. If I’ve got a lot on my mind, you can kiss a restful night goodbye. I’m a champion Clock Gazer, watching the little red numbers tick by, getting more and more anxious the closer morning gets, practically ready to run a marathon by 4 AM.

I’ve always envied those people who pass out the minute their heads hit the pillow. I don’t understand what they do with their minds, but someday I hope to learn. Until then, this is what I do to calm down. Read More »

Although the thought of trying to gain weight makes me more than a little nervous, I can accept that there are lucky ladies out there who naturally resemble sticks.

So I’m going to put aside my jealousy and tell you the secret to packing on the pounds. I found this how-do guide in my Time Out New York this past week. If you’re looking to lose ten pounds, do the opposite. It’s as simple as that.

Case Study:
One very thin New Yorker (5′8, 105 lbs) was tired of looking like a model and vowed to bulk up. When her buddy told her that he lost 10 pounds after giving up his two-beer-a-day habit, she started drinking two beers a day. Read More »

APR or NPR? Average daily balance or daily periodic rate? Use this handy glossary the next time the fine print (or bold outstanding offer*) leaves you more cross-eyed than credit-wielding.

Average daily balance: The method by which most credit cards calculate your payment due. It's determined by adding each day’s balance and then dividing that total by the number of days in a billing cycle. The average daily balance is then multiplied by a card’s monthly periodic rate, which is calculated by dividing the annual percentage rate by 12. A card with an annual rate of 18 percent would have a monthly periodic rate of 1.5 percent. So, for example, if that card had a $500 average daily balance it would yield a monthly finance charge of $7.50.

APR, or Annual Percentage Rate: The amount of interest you pay each year on all unpaid credit card bills ' e.g., 12 percent interest would be the total amount you paid on your balance over the course of the year, or 1 percent (12/12) each month (see 'periodic rate').

Annual user's fees: Money paid each year for the privilege of owning a credit card.

Bank card: (Also called a debit card.) A card issued by banks which allows you to withdraw money from you bank accounts and make purchases at stores with ATMs.

Balance transfer: The process of moving an unpaid credit card debt from one issuer to another. In other words, a cardholder would transfer the balance on one credit card account to another one with better rates.

Budget: A specific, written plan where you allot a percentage of your income to each category of bills and expenses.

Card holder agreement: The written statement that gives the terms and conditions of a credit card account. The cardholder agreement is required by Federal Reserve regulations, and must include the APR, the monthly minimum payment formula, annual fee if applicable, and the cardholder’s rights in billing disputes.

Cash-advance fee: A charge by the bank for using credit cards to obtain cash. This fee can be stated in terms of a flat per-transaction fee or a percentage of the amount of the cash advance.

Charge card: Like a credit card, but only valid in certain stores; must be paid in full each month.

Compound Interest: Interest which is calculated daily (based upon the APR). It is interest upon the interest. Interest is taken on the total current balance rather than the original purchase amount, so any interest charged on an outstanding balance will be taken from the total amount owed.

Credit card: A plastic card issued by a bank or credit cad company, which gives you instant access to a set amount of money.

Credit limit: The total amount of money you're allowed to charge on your card.

Debit card: (see Bank Card)

Finance charge: The charge for using a credit card, comprised of interest costs and other fees.

Grace period: The amount of time allowed between a credit card purchase and payment being due before the balance starts gaining interest (usually 20 or 30 days). If there is a balance on the account from previous months, there is no grace period before payment is due on further transactions. If there is no grace period, the amount owed begins gaining interest immediately after a purchase.

Interest: Money you pay for the privilege of borrowing money.

Line of credit: (See Credit limit)

Minimum monthly payment: The least amount you can pay on a credit card bill without the balance becoming overdue and the cardholder is charged late fees. Minimum payments are usually 2 percent of the total balance owed, unless the credit card company is unsure of the cardholder's ability to pay.

Over-the-limit fee: A fee charged for exceeding the credit limit on the card.

Periodic rate: The interest rate described in relation to a specific amount of time, like the cost of credit for a month (monthly periodic rate) or each day (daily periodic rate).

Pre-approved: A credit card offer with “pre-approved” only means that a potential customer has passed a preliminary credit-information screening.

Secured card: A credit card that a cardholder secures with a savings deposit to ensure payment of the outstanding balance if the cardholder defaults on payments.

Statement of charges: The papers your credit card issuing company sends you every month, telling the total amount you owe them, the due date, etc.

Teaser rate: Often called the introductory rate, it is the below-market interest rate offered to entice customers to switch credit cards or lenders.

Variable interest rate: Percentage that a borrower pays for the use of money, and which moves up or down periodically based on changes in other interest rates.

Sources: 'Getting Your First Credit Card,' by Larry Burkett; Bankrate.com's 'Read the Fine Print'

Life without a meal plan can cost a dude a lot of money. Last-minute pizza runs, ordering in from the greasy Chinese place, and 4am Denny's visits all add up. This starving writer has a couple of budget food tips for you to chew on. You might not want to let your bros catch you reading some gourmet recipe book, but take heed of these pointers and you'll be laughing when you've got more beer money at the end of the week.

Fill your belly at home:

If you take a few minutes to throw a frozen pizza in a microwave or boil up some pasta on the stove, you won't be quite as hungry when you hit the sports bar at night. Maybe instead of ordering the two-pound deluxe burger, you'll just have some wings with that first drink and have a few extra bucks at the end of the night.

Leave a little room in that micro-fridge:

Buying in bulk at grocery stores or a big-box store like Wal-Mart is cheaper in the long run. Yeah, you'll have to leave a rack of beers out of the fridge to make room for the eggs and milk, but you can always use an ice chest when it comes time to party (also known as 'sunset').

Save your brand loyalty for condoms:

Buying name-brand cereal, pasta sauce, or even toothpaste just means you're paying for a national distributor's expensive advertising campaigns. Instead, consider trying out the generic pasta sauce, or the 'Loops of Fruit' cereal in a bag. Many grocery stores offer comparable but less expensive products right next to the name-brands on the shelves. [Warning: when it comes to the 'Family Planning' aisle, stick to the top shelf. You don't want 'slightly imperfect' laytex being the only wall between you and parenthood.]

Get Your Recommended Nutrients:

Admit it; you're responsible for most of Japan's annual instant noodle production. It may be filling, but you know it isn't healthy on its own. What's in those 'instant flavor paks' anyway? Consider frying some fresh vegetables (you know, in the produce department) and dicing them into the noodles. Still cheap, much tastier and far more filling.

Go Local:

If you're lucky enough to live in a town like Davis, California, with its weekly Farmer's Market (http://www.davisfarmersmarket.org/), stop by to get fruits and veggies instead of buying one-way airfare for Chilean apples. You might just save enough for your own trip, instead.

Work the sales:

When you see basics on sale, stuff you know you'll have to get down the road like pasta or beer, go ahead and get extra. Careful, though. Eight gallons of milk probably won't fit in your fridge'though it might be a good excuse for getting your buddies to try the gallon challenge!

Speaking of shopping, if you're hungry, don't do it. Eat something first. Seriously. A kid in a candy store has nothing on a starving, credit card yielding student in a grocery store.

Now that you're inspired, here are a few uncreatively named sites to get you started:
http://cookcheap.com/
http://cheapcooking.com/
http://cheapfoodie.wordpress.com/
http://www.betterbudgeting.com/frugalrecipelist.htm

Photo courtesy of Ryan Pazdur.

Coming back to school each year leaves students with a long list of questions: Which classes should you sign up for? What kind of beer should you get for the first party? Who will you hook up with on your first night back? However, the most critically underestimated choice that students often ignore is what to look for in a new roommate.

Understandably, little thought goes into the question because the answer seems obvious: An ideal candidate is someone friendly, cool, laidback, funny and good in the kitchen. But even if someone has those few good qualities, they can be seriously overshadowed by many bad qualities that potential roommate can bring to the table (lack of good hygiene, extreme sluttiness or a love of country music are just a few). So, to help you avoid a moldy shower and many sleepless nights, I have compiled a list of five important qualities that everyone should consider when faced with the task of picking a roommate.

1. Cleanliness: Your dorm room/apartment is somewhat of a sanctuary in college. You know, a place for peace, quiet and studying. Having a clean room is crucial to maintaining this safe haven, and so is a clean roommate. Afterall, how can you bring home a late-night love interest if that dust rag for a roommate left a pile of crap on the coffee table? Make sure to find out what kind of cleaning expectations your future roommates have; if they don't align with yours, they are not the roommate for you.
2. Ambition: This might sound a little paternal, but ambition is a great quality in a roommate. Why? Because ambition = your roommate being active and driven to succeed in school. Driven students join a bunch of clubs, become a part of Greek life, get a job or excel in their studies. This means that your roommate is either always out at a million meetings (giving you more time to control the TV, take a nap or walk around naked), or it means that their natural drive and charisma can rub off on you a little bit to make you a better person.
3. Generosity: A generous roommate is nice because she shares food, friends and highlighters with you in your time of need. But, a generous roommate is vital when you think of his or her opposite: the mooch. Not only will this person not offer you a dollar for a much-needed slice of pizza, but they also will eat your last pack of Gushers without a second thought. And drink your beer. And steal your shaving cream. This is hard quality to pick up on, but just watch them. You will realize it soon enough.
4. Open-Mindedness: Judgmental person = bad. Open-minded person = good. If your potential roommate is constantly dogging you for your obsession with the OC and your love of everything plaid, maybe you should opt for someone new. You don't have to have the same interests (in fact, you shouldn't ' being too similar can be detrimental!), but having someone who won't judge will allow you to be you, which is the fundamental part of college.
5. Respect: It all boils down to respect. Regard for your belongings, your personality and your space is everything you want from a roommate. That and respecting you enough not to do anything dirty while you happen to be sleeping next to them.

Although the perfect roommate is hard to find, it is possible. Just keep these five qualities in mind and you should be sitting pretty when the big move comes. But be careful and keep it in check: You don't become one of those awesomely bad roomies yourself.

1. Study abroad.
2. Hanging your shirts in a steamy shower is far superior to ironing.
3. Always study at least two days before a test.
4. You're going to regret that personal expense loan.
5. Graduating with too much credit-card debt can be fixed. Missing out on good times, because you didn't want debt can't be.
6. Check out Ratemyprofessor.com
7. The more social circles you're in, the more outlets you will have. This Bud's for you, Mr. Frat/Rugby/SGA/Chess Club Player.
8. Missing a single party will never matter the following semester.
9. Being good friends almost never means being good roommates.
10. Shirts and pants: recyclable. Socks and underwear: not.
11. If you're going to throw unwashed clothes back into the cycle, hang ‘em up and let ‘em air out. Do not throw them on the floor.
12. Politely contest every final grade you get.
13. Nothing cures break-up despair like a freshman.
14. Generally, 60 percent of your grade will come from work during the last 10 percent of the semester; step it up.
15. The chances of you marrying that sorority girl/frat guy are the same as your high school crush.
16. Don't leave college without an internship or two.
17. Study abroad again.
18. There is nothing a drunk person won't do at a party when his/her name is being chanted.
19. Skinny-dipping is to high school, as streaking is to college.
20. On spring break, go all out, or not at all. (Yes, Bermuda; no, Panama City)
21. Everyone knows why that lotion is in your room.
22. 15 percent of your DVD collection will mysteriously vanish every year. You will never know why.
23. That's the first time you've grown facial hair isn't it?
24. Having a picture posted on Collegehumor.com is like a mini-tribute to your college-ness.
25. There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to get a 2.5 and still party like an animal. There is no reason why you should get a 2.0 and still be in school.
26. Mind the step-children.
27. A disco ball and a Jim Belushi can make any room
28. Hooking up with that person's significant other will bite you in the ass ' but it'll be so worth it.
29. The creation of the bar-tab concept is pure genius.
30. It is scientifically proven that a criminal justice major is the most useless thing you'll come across.
31. Go to Modifiedliving.com.
32. Never underestimate the vulnerability of freshmen the first week of school
33. … and never pass up a chance to take advantage of it.
34. You know those nutrition shakes old people drink? Hangover miracle worker.
35. She wasn't that good looking last night, either.
36. Your varsity jacket stays home.

37. Wearing a hat or shirt from the college you didn't get into your freshman year makes you look like a tool.
38. If (god forbid) you have a high school ring, lock it up far, far away.
39. The first few weeks of school, everyone will be incredibly open and friendly. After that, everyone will go back to treating you like crap.
40. Nobody cares exactly what or how much you drank last night.
41. Neither what you take, nor how much you take of it, your hangover will still suck.
42. Don't drink the punch.
43. No matter how big and tough you were in high school, there will always be a fraternity to remind you they don't care.
44. Friends from college won't think your friends from home are half as cool as you do. Nor will they get along.
45. Blink 182 is the ultimate pre-game music, Ludacris is the typical party music and “shut the eff up” is the perfect morning-after music.
46. Your schools basketball/football games supersede all forms of religion.

47. The threesome will be the apex of your college tenure.
48. No matter how good the party scene is it'll get old … but playing beer-pong in your room with your buddies is timeless.
49. Maybe dating that sorority girl wasn't such a good idea.
50. Remember how you blinked and high school was over? Same thing with college, only you have nothing to look forward to after it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
51. 'I was already in here. I just left to make a phone call,' will get you past Mongo the Juiced-Up Door Guy at most parties without paying.
52. Observe the equal girl-to-guy ratio when walking into a party.
53. The kids that have the most fun freshman year mysteriously never return.
54. For every person you didn't like in high school, there will be three more of them in college.
55. There’s nothing worse than hearing about what you did after a blackout.
56. Natty Light = Liquid Gold
57. Ramen is to be eaten, not wrestled in.
58. “The Freshman 15″ is more of a minimum than a standard. Get them early.

'Gays masturbate more than straight people.'
The kid stated this as a fact while we sat outside after econ class. We were supposed to be comparing notes, but we got a little off topic. IRAs, gays, whatever.

'How do you know?'
He took out a box of Marlboros and offered me one. I refused. 'I know because one of my friends is a gay,' he said, whispering the last part lest God hears him and mistakes him for one of “them.”

'Oh.' Later, he offers me his number and I accept it, in case I really start to hate my parents and need someone to bring home to dinner.

In high school, I had trouble getting straight boys to talk to me, but I’ve received better reception in college, albeit from disgusting males who all seem fascinated with lesbians. Still, it's a start. I like to imagine it's because unlike some of the other girls I go to school with, I still own a razor and even use it on occasion to shave my legs.

I don’t particularly want to date smelly scum, however, so I don’t respond well to these cigarette offers or questions regarding whether or not I’d ever “dyke out.” I’m being rude, I know, but when I’m pleasant to these annoyingly tattooed, dirty boys, it only leads to complications where I end up spurting out things like, “You would so love my boyfriend!” (who doesn’t exist) to get out of going to their next band practice. Did I mention that they're all in a band?

The Naomi Campbell attitude wasn’t working so well in journalism class, however, because one boy obviously didn’t get the point when I gave him the universal “don’t talk to me again” response when he asked me out for coffee.
“I’m busy.”
“And later?”
“Study group.”
“Tomorrow.”
“I’m booked. All weekend.” Then I felt bad and added a really pathetic “Sorry.”

I have to give the boy credit ' I’m pretty intimidating, and he still asked. I gave him all the signs that say back off and yet he perseveres! It must be that “intense military training” he likes to brag about.

“I use a pseudo name when I write a newspaper article,” he announced as I noticed he smelt of cabbage.

'Hmmm?” Thatr’s good: feign deafness.
“I use Clark Kent,” he says, proudly, “Y’know…Superman?”

I say nothing, because I am horrified and would normally mock this situation,
but apparently talking to him gives him the wrong idea.

By the way, is it too much to ask for a boy who isn’t drunk, tattooed or addicted to nicotine, who is interesting without being crazy and even showers now and then? “No one showers anymore,” a clean friend informed me one afternoon, “They just try to cover it up, so it smells like cucumbers and ass.”

I know we’re all busy in college, but really, guys, it's okay to smell nice.

It may even get you a date.

Well, you are not alone in how you always blow things off. According to Joseph R. Ferrari, a psychology professor at DePaul University in Chicago, seven out of 10 of you, a.k.a. 'academic procrastinators,' put off doing your schoolwork or doing it at all. Twenty percent of students, referred to as 'chronic procrastinators,' are those who always - always - wait and wait and wait.

Such were the results of Ferrari’s study, which also revealed that the higher the selectivity of schools, the higher the rates of procrastination. What? At better schools, where the work is tougher, students find the assignments daunting or belittling, if they fail to measure up. So, who wants to face that?

Ferrari breaks up procrastinators further: 'arousal procrastinators' work best under pressure, getting off somehow on surviving last-minute deadlines. 'Avoidant procrastinators,' on the other hand, are self-doubters who think that their success will only raise others’ expectations of them. Sounds like as good an excuse as any.