It’s Wednesday afternoon, and I feel like climbing back into bed, pulling up the covers and sleeping for as long as life will let me. But I can’t. Like most of you, I’m at work, sitting in front a computer, clicking away the hours, with heavy eyes and a case of mild irritability. So to beat away this everyday fatigue, I’ve decided to try 5-hour Energy for the first time.

To add some context: I rarely drink soda and only occasionally drink coffee or energy drinks – the caffeine is often too much for me to handle, sending my heart racing, which in turn makes me feel like my life is falling apart for no reason. Now, as I peel off the red protective plastic, I’m hoping that won’t happen. From what I’ve heard it’s everything from completely useless to the perfect pick-me-up. We shall see…

2:45 PM: Opening the tiny “lemon-lime” flavored liquid. The damn thing was expensive – should be called “5-dollar Energy”…

2:45 PM: It tastes like a weird combination of artificial sweetener and the smell of Resolve carpet cleaner – oh right, I mean “lemon-lime”.

2:46 PM: The label is telling me to “drink one half (1/2) bottle for moderate energy” or “one whole bottle for maximum energy.” I’m worried about feeling like a freak with too much caffeine, but who wants “moderate energy”? F**k it, I’m downing the whole thing.

2:47 PM: Done. Supposedly I’ll “Feel it in minutes.” The timer starts now.

2:51 PM: This is funny.

2:53 PM: Hmmmm, I think I am actually feeling a bit peppier. My head feels a little less like it’s jam-packed with cotton, but my eyes are still wanting to close more than normal.

3:03 PM: To be honest, I’m not really used to paying this much attention to my body. Usually it’s just, “Am I awake? Yes. Am I drunk? A little. Ok, cool.” Doing this makes me feel like a vegan or some other such nonsense… (more…)

Normally we don’t report on things like medical advances here at COED, but this was just a bit too SciFi awesome for me to pass up. Scientists have created contact lenses cultured from stems cell that have successfully cured blindness in patients in less than a month. And regardless of where you stand politically on the stem cell issue, there’s no denying how incredibly, amazingly awesome this is. Plus, the stem cells come straight from the patient’s own eye, so no dead future babies. High five!

So, now that we have that figured out, how about getting on to hoverboards?

We are all uniquely and individually disgusting. This was brought to my attention on a recent trip to the drug store, when I discovered, en route to the candy aisle from the shampoo aisle, that there are a lot of really disturbing products out there. So I decided to go back to see what else I could find. Turns out there was a lot of stuff to work with — mostly found on bottom shelves, out of view of the average consumer (but fully in view of little kids, ironically). Only one rule: I’m keeping this list free of “old people” products, of which there are understandably quite a lot. Making fun of the Depends-wearing elderly feels akin to setting a puppy on fire. (more…)

Following the Swine flu epidemic on TV is pretty intense. Way better than Bird Flu, and a contender with the economic recession. Today, I saw a couple people on the New York City streets sporting surgical masks. If this trend continues soon New York is going to look like Mexico. I didn’t want to be left out.

It took me an hour and seven pharmacies to locate a surgical mask. Every single store was sold out. The only reason I obtained one was because a pharmacist gracious gave one of hers. It wasn’t really until then I realized the severity of the Swine Flu. Or, at least, the portrayed severity, seeing as how this outbreak is quite similar to a regular flu season.  But still, I rushed home to try on my new contraption, which looks much like a 1930s maxipad. (more…)

When it comes to smoking, you can settle for a pipe or rolling papers. Or you can drop $670 on a Volcano Vaporizer, the king of all paraphernalia. We took one for a test run.

So what makes the Volcano so great that people spend close to $700 on one? Well, first of all, it looks pretty awesome. If you didn’t know what it was, you’d think it was some sort of German-designed kitchen equipment, which isn’t too far off.

Check out the whole article at Gizmodo.com here!

Three things are certain in college: bad cafeteria food, all-nighters, and the freshmen fifteen. That’s right the freshmen fifteen. It’s the end result of fried cafeteria food and all that beer accumulating in your stomach, giving you an embarrassing gut. But what if there was to avoid the freshmen fifteen?

There is, and former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson was nice enough to tell COED how. (more…)

Lower back pains? Knees bothering you? Weak ankles? The solution to your problems may not be more padding, healing salves or the latest miracle supplement. The answer you’ve been looking for could be a good run. Your little league baseball coach may have been on to something when he told you to, “Walk if off.”

It’s not just running any way you want though, this is a very special, secret running style that only I can teach you. So listen to what I have to say and then get off your fat ass and go for a jog.

I discovered the magical, healing powers of this kind of running about a year ago when I realized I was getting fat. (more…)

Oh, good. Again we’ve found a reason to bring back the “big-boned” excuse. As the London Telegraph reports, “The difference in the number of fat cells between lean and obese people is established in childhood and, although fat people replenish fat cells at the same rate as thin ones, they have around twice as many.”

So it’s not that you constantly drink soda, eat Cheetos for breakfast, down a case of beer in a night and do nothing but watch Maury Povich. Instead, your giant beer gut and cankles are your parents fault. After all, they were the ones who told you what to eat.

Fortunately, this does not have to be just another excuse. As the article reports:

This remarkable glimpse of what gives us beer guts, love handle and muffin tops could also lead to new approaches to fight the flab, by cutting the overall number of fat cells in the body, as well as providing an insight into why fat people find it so hard to lose weight, because the number of fat cells in a person remains the same, even after a successful diet… (more…)

Ok, as we’ve shown on this site before, scientists and doctors basically know nothing.

Whether or not something is bad for you changes nearly every day. But on some days, it changes just right, and reaffirms what you’ve hoped believed all along: All the bad sh*t you do to yourself is actually good for you, and just might be the fountain of youth.

Well, today is one of those days.

Links to Alzheimer’s Disease and caffeine or coffee have long been made, but a recent study by the US team for the Journal of Neuroinflammation (obviously) found the connection between the two, showing that caffeine in the roasted brew protects against dementia by shielding the brain from damaging cholesterol. (more…)

Edward Forty Hands, Billy Dee Williams, hip-hop – these are just a few of the things which come to mind when I, and possibly you, think of malt liquor. As almost anyone who has gone to college could attest to, malt liquor is part of the fabric of college life for a large portion of people.

While so much of our collective knowledge and understanding of malt liquor is based on what mass media and advertising has taught us, a new study at the University of Minnesota funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has revealed new statistics regarding malt liquor advertising and consumption. The study focused on low income neighborhoods in 10 cities where the researchers gathered statistics on homicides, the number of liquor licenses in the neighborhoods, and the ways in which alcohol, and malt liquor in particular, are advertised and made available.

What the researchers found is that poor African American neighborhoods had the greatest concentration of access to malt liquor, malt liquor advertising and also showed higher murder rates. One of the researchers, Rhonda Jones-Webb said, “It may be that the availability influences consumption of these products which in turn influences homicide rates.” (more…)