Ever since Kids in the Hall’s Mark McKinney’s lonely character, Mr. Tyzik (the ‘Headcrusher’) made a pastime of crushing people’s heads, people have been distorting their perspective, pinching their fingers, and crushing all types of stuff. From random people to historical monuments to Bill O’Reilly, nothing is safe from these imaginary annihilations. So, without further adieu, let us present to you 93 ‘I’m Crushing Your Head’ Photos.

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Pick a card, any card. Welcome to the latest installment of our online game, Three Blog Monte, which pits you against chance–and our sick sense of humor.

This week’s prize is Megan Fox! Choose the right card, and you’ll get a face full of her awesome hotness. Fail that, and who knows what humiliating wrath the Internet Gods will wish upon your head.

Don’t worry, everything’s SFW–if you consider looking like a douche safe for work, that is.

Everybody knows a good joke or two. But often times, the joke is so raunchy, so outlandishly offensive, that most people aren’t willing to admit the sick humor made them laugh. But we realized that with the most offensive jokes, all you need to hear is the punch line to get a good chuckle. So here we’ve compiled the 100 best punch lines from the most offensive jokes of all-time. So now, only half of you is going to hell! (That’s how it works, right?) (more…)

We hate to say it, but our most beloved insult, “douchebag” has finally run its course. Sure, it might still have a little life left in it, but with everyone from tweens to grandmothers using the word, our culture has become so saturated by “douchebags” that it’s just lost the biting edge it once had. So now, the time has come to put this geezer to rest, and find that new word.

But not just any word will do – we need a word that encapsulates all that is wrong with a person, a word that sums up someone’s entire character in the most insulting way possible.

We can’t do this by ourselves – we’re going to need your help. So to help us find the new “douchebag”, send us a message on Twitter with your suggestions for the new word. Feel free to make up words and send multiple suggestions.

We will then take those submissions and put them in a poll for a vote to decide what’s going to replace “douchebag”, and we will then implement a COED policy to use that word in place of “douchebag” on all of our articles. Plus, whoever sends us the winning term will be awarded some type of awesome (though yet-to-be-determined) prize. Trust us, it will be sweet.

So get ready “douchebag”, your days are numbered…

Most people are not criminals. Sure, everybody breaks a law or two, here and there. But for the most part, we’re all a pretty law-abiding bunch. So when you’re not breaking the law, being treated like you are should piss you off. Here are the five most common ways people are treated like criminals, even when they’re not doing anything wrong whatsoever. (more…)

When you think of models, the first things that probably come to mind are beauty, elegance, sophistication, class and that stupid television show with Tyra Banks (No, the other one.) But when someone’s that perfect, there’s nothing greater than watching them bust their ass. So we bring to you The 13 Most Disastrous Model Runway FAILs. Remember, just because someone’s better than you doesn’t mean you can’t laugh at their public misfortune. (more…)

In the dark, dank pit of perversion that is the human psyched, nuzzled somewhere between necrophilia and jerking off with your left hand, sits the strange desire to do horrible, disrespectful things to statues. Something about their inanimate, helpless nature seems to bring out the rapist in even the most virtuous among us. And if you ask us, that’s f**king hilarious. Posting pics of this was a big trend online two or three years ago, but that’s an eternity in Internet years, so we thought it was time for a comeback, revitalized with a massive compilation of the wickedest statue-touching we could find.

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New York City – home to every type of person you can imagine, all crammed on top of each other into an area 1/10th the size of Los Angeles. Because of this denseness and the swath of humanity living within its borders, from immigrants and working Joes to crackheads to the richest people on the planet, surviving in New York as an average person is hard. It’s hard to get around, hard to pay for rent – and hard to keep from going postal every 10 minutes because of some douchebag you run into on the way to work. So, as a follow-up to “How to Not Be a Douchebag Tourist in NYC,” here are a few things to remember when living in New York, to help keep the gears of this great city moving (and to keep someone from punching you in the face.) (more…)

With the French Open just a couple weeks past and Wimbledon coming up on June 22nd, there’s a whole lot’a tennis going on these days. And with that comes a lot of tennis talk. This year, the big topic is whether or not officials will begin penalizing female tennis players for grunting like wild beasts on the court at Wimbledon. Which got us thinking, could you tell the difference between a tennis grunt and porn grunt? The answer is: maybe. So we put together this little game to test your grunt guessing abilities. Just play the clip and pick between “Tennis Star” and “XXX Star”. Get the right answer and you’ll be rewarded with a pic of the vocal vixen. Good luck and happy guessing!

NOTE: Tennis sfx have been added to both choices to make the answer less obvious.

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)



(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)

(click “Tennis Star” or “XXX Star”)