The college football season is nearing its end.  Conference titles are being handed out, bowl game combatants are becoming clear, and emo Senior cheerleaders are beginning to go ‘all out’ five to six nights a week.  This week features The Game as an underachieving Michigan hosts Ohio State, and a tough gear up game for Pitt before they square off against Cincinnati.  Get out your beads and pocket your favorite pint as its getting cold in the stadiums across the nation on gameday. (more…)

Out of the myriad of things wrong with today’s society, we need to thank Matt and Trey for calling attention to one of the greatest underlying causes of racial tension in the United States. Urination etiquette is of course the underlying issue, but as we all learned last night – there are just too many minorities in our waterparks. (To be fair though, there are a growing number of fat white people wearing t-shirts in the pool as well.)

(Check Out The Full Episode Here)

Not My Water Park – Lyrics

What has happened to this place
I don’t recognize it anymore
It used to be so fun and special
What is life worth living for

The dream is dead
Our land is gone
There’s a hole in my heart
And I can’t go on

There are too many minorities (minorities)
At my water park (my water park)
This was our land, our dream (our dream)
and they’ve taken it all away

They just keep coming and coming (minorities)
I tried to go and tell the police
But even the authorities
Are minorities (are minorities)
At my water park

There’s no place for me to sit anymore
And the lines just keep getting crazier
There are Mexicans all around me
The lazy river has never been lazier

It’s a 40 minute wait to go down one slide
And the instructions are in Spanish on the Zip Line ride (just do it in English!)

There are too many minorities (too many)
At my water park (somebody do something)
Where did they all come from
Why can’t they leave this land alone

And it’s such a tragedy (feel a bit like dying)
We looked the other way too long
We’ve got to change our priorities
And get all these minorities
Out of my water park

(Minorities) Mexicans and Asians
Black people
I think I even saw Native Americans (gross)

God I’m asking please
Get all of these minorities
Out of my water park (my water park)

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LeBron James was recently in the news promoting his campaign to retire the #23 in the NBA in honor of the great Michael Jordan. “His Airness,” LeBron and my favorite Movember supporter Don Mattingly aren’t the only great players who have shared the same number. In fact, #23 is (arguably) not even the greatest number in sports, just take a look at these.

#3: Babe Ruth, Alex Rodriguez, Harmon Killebrew

Babe Ruth is probably the greatest player to ever play the game. Alex Rodriguez wore #3 until he came to the New York Yankees, will in all likelihood end up as the all-time home run leader, and is currently tenth on the all-time home run list.

#8: Cal Ripken Jr., Yogi Bera, Carl Yastrzemski, Joe Morgan, Troy Aikman, Steve Young and Kobe Bryant

Ripken is a two-time MVP, 19 time all-star, two-time gold glover, and first ballot Hall of Famer who played 2,632 games straight. Berra is a 13-time World Series champion, three-time MVP, and 15-time All Star. Yaz is a former MVP, seven-time Gold Glove winner, and 18-time All-Star. Morgan is a back-to-back MVP, two-time World Series Champ, and 10-time All-Star. Quarterbacks Troy Aikman and Steve Young and shooting guard Kobe Bryant also wore #8.

#12- Terry Bradshaw, Tom Brady, Joe Namath

Bradshaw is a four-time Super Bowl champion and former MVP. Brady is three-time Super Bowl Champion, former MVP, and holds the record for most touchdowns in a single season with 50. Namath is a Super Bowl Champion, former two-time AFL MVP, and four-time AFL All-Star with one Pro Bowl selection.

#24: Willie Mays, Rickey Henderson, Manny Ramirez, Ken Griffey Jr.

Mays is also arguably the best player who ever lived, a two-time MVP, World Series champ, 12-time Gold Glover, and 20-time All-Star. Rickey Henderson is the all-time stolen base and runs leader (he also led off more games with a home run than anyone) and a two-time World Series champ, MVP, and ten-time All-Star. Manny is a two-time World Series champion, 12-time All Star, and is currently 15th on the All-Time home run list. Griffey is a former MVP, 13-time All-Star, 10-time Gold Glover and is currently fifth on the All-Time home run list with 630.

#34: Walter Payton, Earl Campbell

Payton is the 2nd leading rusher in NFL history with nearly 17,000 yards and fourth all-time in rushing touchdowns. Campbell doesn’t have the career numbers that Payton had because he peaked early and played only nine years but his first three years in the league were as good as anyone’s. He’s also a five-time Pro Bowler and a Hall of Famer. Nolan Ryan also wore #34 and used his old man strength to beat the crap out of Robin Ventura – oh, he also struck out 5,714 batters, threw 7 no-hitters and an astonishing 12 one-hitters.

#42 Jackie Robinson, Mariano Rivera

This number is forever retired in Major League Baseball because it was worn by Jackie Robinson and until Mariano Riviera retires and goes down at the greatest closer of all-time he will run out of the bullpen with “Enter Sandman” blaring wearing #42.

Follow the author, Igor Derysh, on Twitter @IgorDerysh

In the college world, the next best thing to being an awesome athlete is being an awesome beer pong player. In fact, it might be even better, since you can get drunk while you play. Which is why people are taking this game to the next level with super-customized beer pong tables. To prove our point, here are the 180 Bad-Ass Beer Pong Tables.  (more…)

These days, everyone is trying to save as much money as possible for fear of everything going to sh*t (again). And while we’re all for getting a good deal, there are some things you shouldn’t buy if you can only afford to go with the bottom of the barrel. Not that you should pay more for something when you could pay less, but that going with the cheapest option is worse than doing nothing at all. Here are 7 Things You Should Never Go Cheap On.  (more…)

Ladies and gentlemen, Thanksgiving Day is coming up soon, and that means tons and tons of delicious food to feast upon. It also means that we have a thinly veiled excuse for publishing what can only be described as some new type of underground fetish – eating giant turkey legs. WTF, you ask? Well, we have no F’ing clue.

But with over 6000 photos on Flickr of people ripping apart this avian flesh, there’s either something about eating a giant cooked bird leg that makes people want to take pictures and put them on the Internet, or something seriously more disturbing is going on. Regardless of the reasons, this is so awesomely weird we couldn’t pass it up. So get ready for some gluttonous turkey leg porn.

Check out Gluttonous Turkey Leg Porn here!

Never in a million years would we claim partying is a bad thing. (We leave nonsense like that for the therapists.) But we will say that there comes a point in the night when you need to put down the bottle, and get your drunk ass home – or at least to some place where you can pass out in peace. We’ve all seen plenty of pictures of the shame brought upon too-drunk guys, but now it’s the too-drunk girls’ turn to feel the wrath of Internet stardom.

(click thumbnails to see full image)

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Just the term “local news” invokes thoughts of failure. And that’s not really fair, at all. We’re sure there are tons of local news anchors, reporters and weathermen who do their jobs fantastically. But if these 15 hilarious videos are any indication, the entire local news industry is wrought with flubs, mishaps, crashes, falls and a whole lot of cussing. Enjoy!

**Warning Some Videos Contain Very NSFW Language**

1. Reporter Attacked by a Lizard

2. Weatherman vs Cockroach

3. Weatherman Gets Diarrhea on Live TV

4. Reporter Stung by Bee

5. Weatherman Swears on Live TV

6. Reporter Gets High on Pot and Coke

7. Reporter Swallows Bug

8. Murdered and Set on Fire

9. Anchor vs “Reporter”

10. He Climbed Mt. Everest, but…

11. Did She Say “Ass Cream?”

12. Anchor Woman Passes Out

13. Child Molester

14. Keep F**king that Chicken

15. Anchor Gets Knocked the F**k Out

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Google “sex moves” and you might find a couple articles from chick mags like Cosmo or Redbook about how to please your man with positions like (GASP!) doggy style or (DOUBLE GASP!) reverse cowgirl. Extend your search a little further and you might find a couple articles on more advanced and complicated positions from the book of love – the Kama Sutra.

Dig a little deeper, and you’ll find the most debaucherous, awful-sounding sex moves that I hope no one ever tries sober. You’ve probably heard of the “Dirty Sanchez,” “Rusty Trombone,” or “Cincinnati Bowtie,” but those are just the collective tip of the iceberg… which I’m sure is a sex move waiting to happen.

Below is a small sampling of some hideously sinister sex terms you’ll come across in your cyber travels:  (more…)

Here in America, people can choose pretty much whatever job they want. As long as you get an appropriate education, work hard and keep a good head on your shoulders, your future is what you want it to be. But there are some jobs out there that are guaranteed to wither that charming personality of yours into a bitter, nasty dickwad. So, in no particular order, here are 10 Jobs That Will Turn You into a Total Dick.  (more…)