If you’re idea of “deep” and “meaningful” storytelling revolves around characters whose primary defining features involve being quirky, then you’re probably a huge Wes Anderson fan. But whatever you think of the (sometimes) brilliant director of Bottle Rocket, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Darjeeling Limited, you can’t argue his serious style credentials. So now that Anderson’s revealed to ThisRecording.com his “perfect mixtape”, “cool” people are clamoring to catch a listen. Luckily for them (you?), we’ve already done the dirty work.

We all know that Megan Fox has said some pretty ridiculous things – things that are so absurd, they’ve actually made her less hot (yes, it’s possible). But instead of focusing on the negative (this time), we’ve put together the Megan Fox Sex Soundboard. So now, any time she says something off-putting, just play one of these little clips and you’ll be back in fantasy land in no time. (more…)

We know, we know – Michael Jackson has been dead for less than a week, and reducing his life down to a smattering of kid-toucher jokes does not do the man or his musical contributions justice, in anyway shape or form. But since when were jokes supposed to do someone justice? Never. And because this is the last time you’re every going to get to tell these jokes, we thought we’d put together some of our favorite Michael Jackson jokes for your cold-hearted pleasure. Sure, they’re tasteless and wrong – but that’s what makes it funny! Jeesh… (more…)

OK, what. the. f**k is going on here? If I were a celebrity, I would be very afraid for my life – Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and now king of the television pitchmen, Billy Mays, all dead within five days of each other. Mays, 50, was found dead early this morning at his home in Tampa, Florida, by his wife. Police say no foul play is suspected, TMZ.com is reporting.

So to honor this fallen icon of 4am television, here is The Best of Billy Mays – Video Remix Edition.

RIP, Billy – buying stuff off the TV will never be the same without you.

There’s no denying that actress and singer, Jennifer Love Hewitt has had a very full, well-rounded career. But along with her mountains of talent has come a smothering of career myths, squeezed into the cleavage between truth and fiction, that have caused ample confusion about this lovely leading lady. Luckily for us, the good people of Cracked.com have uncovered these falsehoods, revealing the glorious truth about Jennifer Love Hewitt in a way we’d only dreamed of.

Check out Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Ample Boobs Myths Uncovered, here!

It’s rumored that Heidi Montag will pose for the September 2009 issue of Playboy magazine.

We contacted Playboy, whose rep said, “We’re not commenting, but I’ll be sure to let you know if anything changes,” which neither confirms nor denies the rumors. And that’s all the hope we need.

If the rumors turn out to be true, will Heidi be partying at any of Playboys’s Top 10 Party Schools, or taking part in any spring break wet t-shirt contests any time soon? Again, we can only hope.

She wouldn’t be the first Hills cast member to pose nude for Playboy; remember the raunchy photos of Audrina Patridge topless?

For now enjoy 48 pictures of Heidi and her Hills friends in “The Girls of The Hills: Bikini Edition.” And we’ll keep you up-to-date on this one.

UPDATE: People Magazine has now confirmed that Heidi Montag will be featured in the September 2009 issue of  Playboy and there will be tasteful nudity.

Seth Rogen fatigue is setting in, so we left The Green Hornet off the list. Ditto to the inevitable Nightmare on Elm Street remake, even though it landed Jackie Earle Haley to play Freddy Krueger. Remakes of Clash of the Titans and Death at a Funeral and the possible Ben Stiller/Tom Cruise comedy The Hardy Men might be good, but there were too many other interesting movies to pick from.

So what does that leave? Well, it’s an accepted fact that Hollywood has run out of ideas and is just coasting on remakes and sequels, so while putting together this list, we tried to come up with as many totally original movies as we could. In the end, we’ve got four sequels, three of which are based on books; four additional non-sequels based on books; three movies based on TV shows; and one based on a well-known legend.

That left only six original movies. Oh well. Despite that, we think we put together a damn good list. (more…)

Chances are good that you’ve already heard about the death of actor David Carradine, so you’re likely asking yourself how dying in a Bangkok hotel closet with a shoe lace tied around your d*ck could be good, in any way. I understand – but you might feel a bit differently considering a little-talked-about fact about autoerotic asphyxiation. (more…)

Megan Fox has said numerous fantastically dumb things to the media in her young career. (I hate to bash her but just check out “10 Megan Fox Quotes That Will Make You Go Hmmm…” for proof). But recently, she said something that we here at COED can fully endorse:

In the upcoming issue of British GQ Fox said, “I can’t tell you how much bullsh*t I’ve been through because I will openly say that I smoke weed. People look at it like it’s this crazy, hippy, f**ked-up thing to do. And it’s not. I hope they legalize it. And when they do, I’ll be the first person in line to buy my pack of joints.” (Emphasis added)

What-what-what? Megan Fox the weed smoker?!

So let us be the first to say that Megan Fox is the world’s sexiest pot smoker, leaving these other 53 pot smoking babes and these 7 sexy celebrity pot smokers in her dust.

(Note to self, bump Montel Williams off our list of “The 10 Most Successful Potheads on the Planet… Cool Enough to Admit It” to make way for Megan Fox.)

It makes me wonder, which of the 24 types of pot smokers would she be? She’s definitely not the “Sorority Girl” smoker or a “Stoner Chick,” so I’m going to go with “Skater” because I like to imagine Megan has an extremely high potential for raw havoc when she is smoking.

I’m just hoping for the day when an eagle-eyed paparazzi nails Megan with a joint in her hand wearing a braless pot-tee, so she can join the ever growing list of celebrities caught smoking pot.

Most people will tell you that female comedians aren’t funny – any of them. Even comic greats, like John Belushi and Chevy Chase said women aren’t funny. Christopher Hitchens wrote an article about it for Vanity Fair. But we don’t think women aren’t funny. We think these women aren’t funny. In fact, they’re so unfunny, they almost make Dane Cook seem like a comic genius.  (more…)