Every morning I hail a cab at the same corner in the West Village in NYC.  Most days, it’s an easy grab, rarely a wait.  But this morning I was running late and there were literally 5 people standing up and down the avenue flailing for a cab’s attention. So, I did what any good New Yorker would do, walked deeper into the stream of traffic and snagged the first cab.  This FTW moment quickly became a moment of FAIL when I saw Jon Stewart standing outside my window. D’oh.

(this is another guy also waiting for a cab)

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We’re past this whole “Was the Balloon Boys story a hoax” nonsense. Obviously, it’s all bullsh*t. And if you think it might not be bullsh*t, all you have to do is watch this video of the father releasing the g*ddamn balloon to know that it’s a hoax.

Now that we have that resolved, let’s move on to bigger things: Who’s going to play who in inevitable  upcoming Hollywood biopic, “Balloon Boy?” The roll of Falcon is anyone’s guess. Probably Haley Joel Osmond, or whatever.  (more…)

Transformers star and all-around on-screen goddess, Megan Fox has reportedly signed on to play Catwoman in the next Batman film, which is set to be released in 2011. File this under the “Please, please, please be true!” category. Fox follows in the footsteps of past hotties, Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry. But something tells us she’s going to blow those two out of the water.

Despite the fact that many publications are reporting the deal, including The Sun, MTV UK and The Press Association, we’re still holding our breath until an official announcement is released. But that doesn’t mean we can’t fantasize about Megan Fox in a skin-tight PVC catsuit. (Not that we weren’t doing that already…)

UPDATE: Uh, nevermind… The Sun, which originally reported the “rumor,” is full of sh*t.

Summer – it’s hot, clammy and sometimes unbearable. But if there’s one thing that should keep you happy during these scorching months, it’s super hot chicks strutting their stuff in bikinis. So to celebrate the summer before the cold winds of fall blow in, we’ve put together a bootylicious collection of the 44 sexiest celebrity bikini beach butts! (more…)

When you’ve seen someone’s nearly-naked body for years, it’s easy to start thinking you know everything about that person. The same goes for super-hottie, Megan Fox, who’s been in the spotlight since landing the lead in Transformers. So to help you become a Megan Fox know-it-all, we’ve found these 18 lesser-known tidbits about our favorite Hollywood hottie. (more…)

Sorry, guys. I know doing a post about Spencer Pratt is pretty lame, being that he’s one of the world’s biggest assclowns, just after Dane Cook and the ESPN lawyers that are keeping you from watching the Erin Andrews peephole video.

And his douchiness just gets that much more intense, since he just announced, in an interview with Spin magazine, that he’s launching a rap career.

How good of a rapper are you?
Incredible. I have the biggest mouth on earth, so why wouldn’t I be the best rapper — you know what I mean?

Can you freestyle right now?
I mean, everybody keeps on asking me to freestyle. But I always say, “Please, I don’t do freestyle, my goal out here is to get paid.” The word “free” does not exist in Spencer Pratt’s vocabulary. [via Spin.com]

Jesus Dead Baby Christ! This dude is completely out of hand. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if this guy isn’t just taking us all for a ride, Andy Kaufman-style.

I know, I know – he seems to barely have enough brain power to maintain basic bodily functions. But there is definitely more than meets the eye with this dude. And I would be ashamed of myself for being fooled by Spencer F’ing Pratt. Then again, he’s probably just learned to say outlandish sh*t in order to stay relevant. Either way, he’s still a douchebag.

If you’re idea of “deep” and “meaningful” storytelling revolves around characters whose primary defining features involve being quirky, then you’re probably a huge Wes Anderson fan. But whatever you think of the (sometimes) brilliant director of Bottle Rocket, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Darjeeling Limited, you can’t argue his serious style credentials. So now that Anderson’s revealed to ThisRecording.com his “perfect mixtape”, “cool” people are clamoring to catch a listen. Luckily for them (you?), we’ve already done the dirty work.

We all know that Megan Fox has said some pretty ridiculous things – things that are so absurd, they’ve actually made her less hot (yes, it’s possible). But instead of focusing on the negative (this time), we’ve put together the Megan Fox Sex Soundboard. So now, any time she says something off-putting, just play one of these little clips and you’ll be back in fantasy land in no time. (more…)

We know, we know – Michael Jackson has been dead for less than a week, and reducing his life down to a smattering of kid-toucher jokes does not do the man or his musical contributions justice, in anyway shape or form. But since when were jokes supposed to do someone justice? Never. And because this is the last time you’re every going to get to tell these jokes, we thought we’d put together some of our favorite Michael Jackson jokes for your cold-hearted pleasure. Sure, they’re tasteless and wrong – but that’s what makes it funny! Jeesh… (more…)

OK, what. the. f**k is going on here? If I were a celebrity, I would be very afraid for my life – Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and now king of the television pitchmen, Billy Mays, all dead within five days of each other. Mays, 50, was found dead early this morning at his home in Tampa, Florida, by his wife. Police say no foul play is suspected, TMZ.com is reporting.

So to honor this fallen icon of 4am television, here is The Best of Billy Mays – Video Remix Edition.

RIP, Billy – buying stuff off the TV will never be the same without you.