5 Flavors Ben & Jerry’s Should Make

Ben & Jerry came up with a pretty good name for an ice-cream commemorating the Carmageddon in LA. The famous ice cream brand is regarded by Stoners the world over as the greatest thing since sliced bread. With names like “Magic Brownies” and “Half Baked” it’s no wonder why this frozen treat is a favorite amongst music-fest goers. If you’re an ice cream fan (and I’m sure you are), you’ve probably come up with your own flavor names that you think Ben & Jerry’s should have invented. See the ones on my list below.

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How To Skip Work Like A Boss

We’ve all been there, believe me, we have. It’s 8:34 a.m. and you’re still in bed, hung-over and bleary-eyed  from the bar crawl the night before. You’ve hit the snooze button five times already and you’ve gotta be at work in 15 minutes. Even if rabid dogs or fat women were chasing you, there is no possible way you can get your ass into the office today.

So what do you do? Do you drag your butt out of bed, throw on some semi-clean clothes and stumble into the office 20 minutes late, having to face your boss and coworkers? Do you pray to God that a hurricane strikes down on your workplace? No. You pick up that phone and use one of these fool-proof excuses to get out of work.

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LEAD PHOTO CREDIT (above): Michael Heissner, Photographer’s Choice

8 Rides That’ll Have Her Riding Your Stick Shift

Since the dawn of time, guys have used their cars to make them look and feel cool. Old men buy slick Corvettes to make them feel younger. Guys who suffer from the Napoleon complex buy huge Chevy pickup trucks to make them feel better about what they lack in size. Funny thing is, that sh*t works. In a recent study, women admitted they are more attracted to men driving Porsches. Apparently, a man driving a luxury car was more appealing to date than a man driving “a Honda Civic.” Who knew. Check out our list of 8 cars guaranteed to get you laid below.

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Baby Making Music: The 10 Best Bands To Get Laid To [VIDEOS]

Getting laid is, hands down, the best thing in the world. The only way you can do better than getting your rocks off is having an awesome soundtrack to accompany it. A great band helps to set the tone for your boning and gives you an auditory cue for when to pick up the pace or slacken off. Here are 10 bands and artists to crank up the next time you hook up.

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What Your Summer Job Says About You [VIDEOS]

Summer is the season of great indulgence. School’s out, the drinks are flowing freely and bikinis are everywhere. But for some people, summer is the time to earn a bit of extra cash. Whether you’re working at a camp or that dude in the funny little hat screaming, “Hot dogs! Get your hotdogs here!” at the baseball game, where you choose to work during the summer says a lot about you. Find out what yours means and check out some hilarious movie-related clips below!

LEAD PHOTO CREDIT: Adie Bush, Cultura

1. Car Wash

Many people want to keep their rides in pristine condition during the warmer weather. If you work a summer job down at the local car wash, people will automatically think you’re a man’s man. Nothing screams “I have huge balls” quite like working at any job that deals with vehicles.

2.) Ice-Cream Truck Driver

If you decide to drive a Mr. Frosty truck this season, be prepared to have people think you’re a huge creep. You might as well buy a rape van and paint “free candy” on the side of it.

3.) Lifeguard

If you wanna get laid like nobody’s business this summer, be that guy sitting in that chair with a whistle at the beach. You’ll get an awesome tan and get to ogle babes in bikinis all day long. Plus, chicks dig guys who never wear a shirt. (SEE TAYLOR LAUTNER IN TWILIGHT)

4.) Camp Counselor

Camp counselors are seen as big sweethearts. Girls love a guy who can put up with screaming 8-year-olds all day long. You’re probably a big ol’ teddy bear at heart who wants 2.5 kids, a white picket fence and a microwave out in the ‘burbs. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be Dad of the Year. Better than being a pedophile.

5.) Dog Walker

Dog walkers are automatically seen as animal lovers. When you walk down the street with your entourage of slobbery mutts, every girl’s heart is going to pound right out of her chest. Just be sure to keep your PETA membership card at home.

6.) Bouncer

If you are built like a linebacker and like hitting people, then you’ll probably be a good bouncer. You’re most likely a very patient dude who likes to protect people. That, or you really dig getting free shots and getting paid to just stand at a door all night long.

7.) Bartender

Bartenders are usually outgoing d-bags who don’t own bank accounts. If you’re a bartender, you’ probably get laid like everyday and are a borderline alcoholic. Pretty choice until you wake up and you’re 50.

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America’s 5 Most Stoned Cities

Back on 4/20, The Daily Beast came out with their rankings of pot-smoking cities. If anything it proved that America loves its weed. From medical marijuana being legalized or decriminalized to pot farms popping up all over, The U.S. is getting stoned. Not that it’s all that surprising, weed has been the gateway drug of choice for millions of teenagers and aging ex-hippies for years, right propagandists? Ever since that first caveman decided to try some reefer way back in the day, people have been smoking up all over the globe. So which U.S. cities toke the most Mary Jane? Find out below!

Photo by College Humor.com

5) Morgantown, West Virginia

Okay, if you’re stuck at a college in the middle of Bumblef*ck, West Virgina, you’re probably gonna get a little bit blazed too. Morgantown is home to West Virginia University, which ranks #17 in the nation for toking colleges – as well as a bunch of cows and inbred wackos. Listen, don’t bogart that joint, Morgantown…

4) Burlington, Vermont

Vermont is notorious for smoking weed. From Super Troopers to schools where students can declare a major in “peace,” it shouldn’t blow anybody’s mind that Burlington came in a #4. I mean, really, what else is there to do in Vermont besides drugs, sex and snowboarding? Exactly.

Photo by Christine Jump, Flickr

3) Portland, Oregon

The vegan to meat eater ratio of this city is like 6 to 1, so it’s no wonder that Portland ranked third on our list. 10% of the population admits to smoking marijuana at least once a day. Portland is also home to The Cannabis Café: the country’s first smoke-in medical marijuana dispensary.

Photo by r_dorissa, Flickr

2) Boston, Massachusetts

No wonder the residents of Boston can’t pronounce their the letter “r” correctly; they’re stoned outta their minds! An estimated 9% of the population smokes daily (I wonder if Ben Affleck is among them?). Boston is also home to the annual Freedom Rally, where thousands of fellow tokers gather to have their demand for marijuana legalization heard!

Photo by New York Magazine

1) New York City

It’s no surprise that the Big Apple is also the nation’s most blazed city. It’s estimated that 10% of the city’s population are regular users and half of them smoke pot from time to time. There has also been more than 400,000 arrests made on minor possession charges from 1997 to 2007.

IF WANT TO SMOKE UP WITHOUT GETTING HARRASSED BY THE FUZZ, CHECK OUT THIS MAP INDICATING WHICH STATES HAVE DECRIMINALIZED WEED:

CLICK THE PIC TO VIEW THE LIST

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE DAILY BEAST’S TOP POT-SMOKING CITIES

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The 5 Definitive Types Of Drunks

Photo courtesy of CollegeHumor.com

Drunk people are fun: they can’t walk in a straight line and they have trouble saying “no.” And if your buddy is completely hammered, you can get him to do things he wouldn’t normally do sober, like pick up a fat girl (both literally and in the ‘porking’ sense) or try to learn how to fly. While there are many benefits to being drunk, there’s a dark underbelly that accompanies alcohol as well. For those of us who don’t know our boundaries, we can end up with vomit all over our shirts, passed out naked on a park bench or handcuffed in the back of a paddy wagon. So what kind of drunk are you? Are you a crybaby, annoying or just a raving lunatic? Read on to find out!

5 TYPES OF DRUNKS:

1) The Hot Mess / Train Wreck

He or she is the one tripping over chairs, eyes half closed, screaming at the bartender for just one more drink. And if you happen to be standing less than 10 feet away from them, you’ll probably catch a pungent whiff of puke. Most of the time, the Hot Mess is either the girl who just turned 21 or the guy who was just recently dumped. Their mission was to get completely bombed, and they passed with flying colors.

2)  The Happy Drunk

The Happy Drunk is the person who instantly becomes everybody’s friend at the bar. They laugh at all of your jokes, hug complete strangers and buy their 20 friends shots of top-shelf liquor. They’re mad good tippers and a source of delight to the barmaids that bring you your drinks . If you want to drink on the cheap while you’re out (or just have a carefree, drama-free night) seek out the Happy Drunk. He or she will be more than willing to buy you 15 beers.

3) The Drama Queen / Nancy Boy

You can hear these drunks a mile away before you actually see them. Nancies are the type of people who either whine or cry when they’ve had more than they can handle. Everything becomes melodramatic like an episode of Gossip Girl. If your friend is this type of drunk, do ‘em a favor and buy them a cab ride home. At the end of the night, you’ll be glad you did.

4) The Douchebag / Douchbaguette

This drunk only gets douchier when he or she drinks. They show up to the bar wearing a ridiculous gaudy outfit with way too much sh*t going on to cover the fact they have no personality and suck at life. Douches will hit on every girl in the room, including your girlfriend while the douchebaguette will talk sh*t about every other girl in the room and leach off whoever’s got a bottle. The guy needs a swift kick to the balls or a bouncer bigger than his ego to drag his sorry ass the hell out of there! The girl needs to die.

5) The Man Whore / Super Slut

You’ll see him or her chatting up anything with a pulse at the bar. It doesn’t matter if the chick is fat, thin, black, white, blue, whatever or if the guy has a ponytail, footlong beard, or can’t speak English – this drunk’s  got one thing on his/her mind: sex, and plenty of it. If you’re friends with a Man Whore / Super Slut, do him or her a favor and play wingman for a night. That way you can send him or her home with the right kind of hook up… or totally backstab the bastard / bitch and watch as he or she leaves the bar with a giant mistake!

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What Her Pet Says About Her

photo credit: utsoftbl3

It is said that owning a pet leads to a longer and happier life. Not only can they provide you with hours of entertainment, but if you happen to own a cute and cuddly puppy or kitten, your chances of getting laid pretty much skyrocket. With that having been said, the types of pets people choose to own often reflects that individual’s own personality. If you want to find out if your next potential hookup is a complete psycho or a totally rad chick, then take a moment to find out what kinds of pets she might own and how she interacts with them.

1) Cat

When it comes to women, cats are usually the pet of choice. They’re adorable, small and can be pushed around in baby carriages, as well as being extremely independent and opinionated. And if they’re pissed at you, they’ll let you know it by crapping all over your bed. So if your lady owns a cat, there’s no need to go running for the hills – owning one or two cats reflects her own independence.

You know your gal has no problem leaving her apartment for the night and spending it with you. Cats are very self-sufficient animals and all they really need are full bowls of food and water, and a clean litter box. Be sure, however, to avoid the broads who own three or more cats. If you smell cat piss on her clothes or can’t fit on the bed because of all the reclining felines, find the nearest exit immediately.

Photo by Altrendo Images

2) Dog

If your idea of the perfect girl is sporty and low maintenance, then try finding a woman who owns a dog. Dog owners are usually super energetic and love taking their canines to the park to toss around a football or frisbee. Dogs themselves are extremely dedicated animals, they’ll love you regardless if you pat them on the head or throw them off the roof. This means that your gal will probably be as committed to you as her pooch is to her. This doesn’t mean she’ll be a doormat, however. She’ll still have a feisty side if you happen to rub her the wrong way (both figuratively and literally).

3) Reptile

Women who own reptiles tend to be self-involved and egotistical. Snakes, lizards and turtles don’t need as much personal interaction as mammals do. If you want a girl who’s a bit on the freaky side, then a reptile owner might be perfect for you. They’re usually attracted to the exotic and taboo – and that’s a perfect combination when it comes to the bedroom.

Photo by Larysa Dodz, Vetta

4) Bird

Girls who dig feathered friends tend to be talkative and bubbly. You need to have an extroverted personality when it comes to owning an animal that holds one-sided conversations with itself. If you like your ladies overflowing with optimism and some good ol’  joie de vivre, seek out a chick who owns a bird.

Photo by Hepp, Stone

5) Rabbit

She must really love Bugs Bunny cartoons and Easter. They also really f***ing stink. These cute creatures bone like crazy and sh*t everywhere. You are what you own, right? If that’s the case, avoid anal and wear a condom, ‘cuz she’s prob pooping out octuplets. Now, if she works on a bunny ranch, she knows exactly what she’s doing, but it’ll cost ya.

Photo by David de Lossy, Photodisc

6) Rodent

When it comes to rodents, women who own these nasty creatures have them for one of two reasons: they’re either feeding them to their snakes or they’re hoarders. Mice, hamsters and gerbils are cheap animals to take care of and reproduce faster than a family of Irish Catholics in a blackout. If your lady owns rodents, be prepared for some clutter and stink.

6) Amphibian

Girls who own frogs, toads or newts like to smoke a lot of pot and probably go by the name of “Moon Unit.”  That is all the information you need to know about them.

Photo by Hisham Ibrahim, Photographer's Choice

7) Horse

A woman who owns a horse is probably extremely wealthy or just works her butt off to afford all the bills that come with owning one. There is that old myth that girls who ride horses are better in the bedroom because of their strong thigh muscles. This may not be entirely true, but there’s only one way to find out. Cowgirl up!

Photo by Pascal Broze, ONOKY

8) Insect

A woman who owns an insect for a pet isn’t exactly common, but there are some that appreciate bugs. These girls dig weird science and other oddities, and they certainly don’t have any qualms over the idea of getting down and dirty. If you want an offbeat babe that’s both smart and sexy, find one who owns a tank full of insects in her apartment. Roaches running around her place doesn’t count and you should probably just leave.

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How To Get Over A Break Up Quickly

Getting dumped sucks, and since the dawn of time, the dreaded “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation has broken hearts and bruised egos everywhere. Whether you were with your girl for five months or five years, you’ll still flinch when she sits you down for “that talk.” You may suffer from several different kinds of impulses after your lady leaves: from drinking nine shots of whiskey to standing outside her window late at night playing Peter Gabriel from a boombox; none of your post-dumping decisions will be good ideas. So, put down that boombox and your PBR party ball and read on for five tips on how to get over a breakup quickly.

1) Realize She’s Gone For Good

If you’re going to get through this like a man, you’re going to have to realize from day one that she’s gone for good. Chicks don’t dump guys they like, so don’t be calling her at 3 a.m. for some post-breakup booty. Driving past her apartment doesn’t really help the matter either, neither does stalking her on Facebook. From here on out, you have to quit her cold turkey.

2) Allow Yourself To Get Sh*t-Faced Once

An emotional drunk is not an attractive drunk, but you’re allowed only one “get out of pathetic-ville” card – that’s it. So get your fill of drinking yourself stupid because afterwards, it’s best to avoid the bar scene for quite a bit.

3) Alcohol + Phone = Shame

If you do decide to go get hammered for seven days straight, at least keep your dignity and leave the cell phone at home. No girl likes to have her ex leave 15 voice-messages in one night quoting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in between pathetic sobbing fits.

4)  Watch / Bet On Sports

Did the breakup leave you angry? Good… channel that anger towards watching and betting on sports. Scream at the television, throw the remote, high-five the ever-loving sh*t out of someone. Just don’t watch a hopeless, losing team. If you do, make sure to bet on the game to make it more interesting. All of these activities take your mind off that heartless wench.

5) Rebound aka “Box Out”

Sometimes the best way to get over one girl is to get under another one. Truth be told, rebounding isn’t the healthiest way to get over a breakup – and I wouldn’t highly recommend it – but it just might work. True, it didn’t work for Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall… at first… but then he got Mila Kunis! See? Now, box it out, box it out, box it out, box it out, box it out, box it out!

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The 7 Best Malt Liquors

It’s no wonder why 40s are the drink of choice on most college campuses. Why would you spend $3.50 for a 12 ounce beer when you could get 40 ounces of delicious malt liquor for half that price and twice the ABV? It’s so popular, the competitive kids created a drinking game called, “Edward 40 Hands,” in which players duct-tape 40s to their hands and drink both before they can cut themselves free. Now, malt liquor isn’t for everyone, but for anyone who grew up watching 90s rap videos, this list of the best malt liquors is for you.

1) Steel Reserve

ABV: 8.1% alcohol

Steel Reserve is one of the better tasting malt liquors. And for about a buck a can, you can afford to buy your weight in alcohol. Steel Reserve also keeps its flavor even after it’s been sitting for a bit. So go ahead and pass out for an hour, your alcohol is safe.

2) Magnum 40

ABV: 6.0% alcohol

Even though this liquor is named after a condom, it’s not guaranteed to get you laid. The upshot of this malt liquor is that it’s one of the cheapest on the market, so you can literally get drunk off of laundry quarters.

3) Mickey’s

ABV: 5.6% alcohol

If you want a malt liquor that will go down easily, then Mickey’s is your drink of choice. The mild flavor doesn’t have an overwhelming after-taste which makes it perfect for multiple games of beer pong.

4) St. Ides

ABV: 8.2% alcohol

This high octane liquor is best for people who want to get very drunk very quickly. The taste is a little overpowering, but if you can get past that, it’s clear sailing all the way to the ivory throne.

5) Silver Thunder

ABV: 5.8% alcohol

Any type of liquor named after a natural disaster is guaranteed to be good. Silver Thunder is the old faithful of malt liquors. The clean taste will sit easy with just about anyone.

6) Colt 45

ABV: 5.6% alcohol

Colt 45 is one of the cheaper malt liquors and a favorite amongst teenagers – and Lando Billy Dee Williams – who don’t know any better. The mild taste makes it perfect to get drunk off of quickly and efficiently. It works everytime.

7) Hurricane

ABV: 5.9% alcohol

If you want somebody to “rock you like a hurricane,” don’t drink this liquor. You’ll end up getting beer goggles really quickly and going home with the largest broad in the room. Pros: Hurricane will get your drunk rather quickly. Cons: You’ll regret it the next morning.

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5 Pages From Prince William’s Pick Up Playbook

Chicks worldwide are going gaga over Prince Willam. Is it because he’s the heir to the British throne? Or is it that he’s 6’3, blonde and more suave than Rico? Whatever the reason, the dude possesses a number of traits that women find irresistible and that us normal guys can certainly learn a thing or two from. Luckily, Prince William is already engaged to the Berkshire hottie, Kate Middleton, so we can rule him out as competition. But if you’re single and want to pick up a girl that’s every bit as gorgeous as she is, you have to dive right into Prince William’s pick up playbook. Here are the top 5 pages you should memorize…

Photo by Max Oppenheim, Riser

1.) Be Chivalrous

Being a prince demands that you learn a lot of strict manners starting at an early age. You have to know how to eat with the proper utensils, greet people in a certain way, and be polite and courteous at all times, no matter the situation. This means absolutely no keg stands or vomiting in public!

Girls also have a thing for guys with chivalry. Learning how to say a basic “please” and “thank you” goes a long way. Be her knight in shining armor by pulling out the seat for her, shake her father’s hand and help her with her jacket. She’ll be swooning in no time, and so will her mother – which is an excellent indicator of whether or not you’re in the clear.

2.) Be Charming

Girls love charm and intrigue and Prince William has both – times infinity. From his coy smile to his casual personality, Will knows how to draw the ladies right in. Perfecting the right combination of apathy and friendliness is key when hitting on girls. You don’t want to give off the appearance of a desperate, Level Two Clinger, and you definitely don’t want to seem stone cold. Intriguing a girl is all about charming the pants off her (quite literally at times). Throw her a compliment every now and then, but don’t pile it on since she might take them as disingenuous and hinting at some ulterior motive. To wit: be polite, be kind, but don’t take it over the top.

3.) Be a Man’s Man

If England had a Bounty Man, Prince William would be it. The dude can hunt, play rugby and ride horses. If he ever decided to grow a beard, the women of the world would all probably dump their boyfriends with our anguished howls filling the air. Being a rugged man’s man means having the traditional dude skills to impress a lady: learn how to work with your hands, change her flat tire, clean her oil and make something for her out of wood. Women love a guy who can take care of business, so don’t hesitate to show her your inner woodsmen skills and she’ll be dropping trousers in no time at all.

4.) Rock the Clean Cut

Let’s all be honest – you too, women of the world – Prince William looks like he could get pummeled in a bar fight. However, the clean cut, momma’s boy look goes a long way with the ladies. Try dressing to impress every once in awhile. Actually shower and take some time to manscape. Your girl will love the fact that you went the extra mile for her and appreciate not getting a face full of stubble when she goes in for that kiss.

photo by fuse

5.) Get Rich (Or Just Pick Up The Bill)

Now, this may be impossible for some people, but women love guys who can take care of them. Prince Willy is rolling in some serious dough, but if you’re not a trust-fund baby and currently unemployed, try actually getting a job and taking your girl out to dinner at a fancy restaurant – that’s all you really need. Don’t be cheap and split the bill like a sleaze, pay for the entire meal yourself without batting an eye. It’s this kind of dating altruism that leads to some fun in bed afterwards!

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COED’s Music Festival Guide To Picking Up Chicks

travelphotoarchive.com

Spring is just around the corner and that means the season of music festivals is almost upon us. Coachella, SXSW, and Bonnaroo are just some of the events to look forward to this coming season since, as we all know, music festivals are a great place to meet hot girls. Everybody is either drunk or doped up, wearing nearly next to nothing because of the heat and totally enthralled with the music. If you want to pick up chicks in between sets or capitalize on the free flowin’ emotions during one, follow these five easy tips that coincide with the fest you’re attending.

Bonnaroo Babes

Bonnaroo is the mother of all summer music festivals. It’s an epic four days of debauchery on a 700 acre farm in Tennessee. The girls that attend this festival are laid back and smell like patchouli. Most likely, you’ll be staying over-night at Bonnaroo. Look around for any foxy ladies who need help setting up their tents and when you offer your assistance, be sure to bring a couple cold beers with you. You two will be getting cozy in no time.

Coachella Chicks

California’s Coachella offers a helluva lotta hella hot eye candy. The babes at this fest are down-to-earth goddesses that even Charlie could be proud of. It doesn’t matter if you fancy adorable indie girls in big glasses and sundresses or hula-hooping hippies in bikinis, you’ll get it all at Coachella. If you see a petite chick trying to see above the heads of people in front of her to get a glimpse at the stage, offer her to place to sit…on your shoulders! Having your head between a girl’s legs is an awesome way to get acquainted.

South by Southwest Sweethearts

Austin’s South by Southwest (“SXSW”) offers a plethora of big name bands and unknown groups that are all overflowing with talent. Scattered between the gritty dives and upscale clubs of the city, SXSW offers a musical feast for every taste. If you like wholesome and sweet girls, SXSW is your mecca. You’ll probably find yourself with a group of friends at some bar listening to some band you’ve never heard of but you immediately love anyways. You’ll also probably see a smokin’ girl with a group of her friends across the room from you.  Don’t try to pull that dick move of feeding her a lame one-liner. If you catch her at the bar buying drinks, casually ask what bands you should check out while you’re in Austin. If you’re feeling sassy, ask her what her favorite dinosaur is. It’s an innocent enough question that is guaranteed to start a dialouge.

The Women of Warped Tour

The Warped Tour has been introducing underaged girls to their favorite pop-punk bands since the dawn of time. While it’s not technically a “festival,” the Warped Tour offers plenty of bands during a two day span. You better brush up on your skanking moves because this tour brings the pierced and tattooed hotties out in droves. The best way to meet a girl at the Warped Tour is in the mosh pit. Keep an eye out for a defenseless broad who keeps getting sweaty fat dudes banging into her. Casually stand in front of her during the show and use your brawn to block the collides of the undulating mosh pit. Between band sets, ask her for her name and buy her a drink – if she’s over 21, naturally.

Lollapalooza Ladies

Perry Farrell’s brainchild, Lollapalooza, is back in full force this summer in Chicago. Expect to see gigs from Devo, Matt and Kim, Hot Chip, and the Black Keys. Though the hotties at Lolapalooza may be slightly aged, they’re still looking to have a good time. Try keeping the encounter as casual as possible by not asking for their last name or telephone number. Chalk it up to fate and the $12 cups of beer.

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5 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Geek

Geeks have come a long way since the era of pocket protectors, duct-taped glasses, and “Revenge of the Nerds”. The internet’s done wonders for dweebs with social networking sites allowing them to have a voice and style that was previously never seen or heard. With technology growing at a rapid rate, geeks will only become more… precious. So if you were one of those poor souls who had his head crammed down the toilet bowl in high school, now is the time to rejoice! Here are five reasons why it’s totally rad to be an awkward geeky dude.

Facebook

Without the invention of Facebook, people everywhere would still be trying to get laid the old fashion way by picking up girls in bars. Now, you simply have to shoot a message over to that total hottie in your Intro to English Lit class and bam, you’ve got a potential hook-up on your hands.

Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, has all of the criteria to make him a super geek. Attended Harvard University? Check. Ghost pale complection? Double check. Goofy Jewfro? Check check check.

However, thanks to the invention of Facebook, Mark is now rolling in money and women. He even had a movie made about his life and a gigantic house in California. How could things get any sweeter?

Hollywood

Stars old and young across Hollywood are making the geek look appealing. Donning  thick-rimmed glasses, stars including Justin Timberlake and David Beckham seem to be embracing the nerd culture.

If Hollywood likes geeks, then the world will worship them.

Hipsters

People the world over may loathe hipsters, but this sub culture of weirdos has gotten tons of publicity. Many of the hipsters trademark fashion pieces (i.e. their gimmicky shirts, messenger bags, and tight pants) are taken straight from a nerd’s daily wardrobe.

Without geeks, hipsters wouldn’t exist. And without hipsters, geeks wouldn’t be receiving the kind of attention that they are currently getting.

Indie Rock

Indie rock bands are overflowing with petite,  geeky men. Weezer was actually one of the first mainstream bands to feature a nerdy singer, and many others followed suite.

Bands like Nerf Herder, The Postal Service, They Might Be Giants, and The Rentals all include dorky guys. Start learning how to play guitar, bro.

5.) Technology

Face it, without geeks banging away on computers for the last 30 years technology wouldn’t be where it is today. We couldn’t look at boobs online or order pizza over the Internet with nerds.

So, we raise our glasses to you geeks, and thank you for making 24/7 porn possible.

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Which Weed Smoking Device Is Right For You?

Pot is good. It mellows you out, eliminates your girl’s cramps during that time of the month so she can stop bitching, and is proven to slow the tumor growth rate of some cancers. Some people prefer one hitters to pipes; others swear by bongs. So which technique is right for you? Let’s take a look at your options.

ONE-HITTER

The one-hitter is that discreet little device that makes it easy to get stoned literally anywhere. You can puff in the car, on the street corner, and at a concert without getting busted. Some one-hitters are even made to look like cigarettes.

If you’re a pot exhibitionist than the one-hitter is your best friend. It’ll allow you to get the perfect amount of THC in your system while enabling you to always be on the go.

PIPE

If you prefer a much more traditional way of enjoying your marijuana, then you may just be a pipe person. Pipes are a great way of enjoying weed alone or with a small amount of people. The glass allows you to savor the flavor of your pot (this applies only if you smoke the good stuff) and not taste any metal, as you would with one-hitters.

It is much more difficult to smoke a pipe in public than it is a one-hitter. Pipes are meant to be enjoyed behind closed doors in the privacy of your own sin bin.

BONG

Bongs are the perfect compliment to a night of all out debauchery. If you’re in the mood to hang out with a bunch of people and get really stoned, invest in a bong.

Some people swear by bongs because they say the water filters out the smoke, thus making them healthier to use. This is a sham. The water is actually used to cool down the smoke.

If you do use a bong, prepare to get ripped. One hit of a bong is like jamming the contents of an entire pipe into one gigantic hit.

If you don’t prepare any of the above methods, then try carving a bong out of a pumpkin or using the good old traditional gravity bong. They’re cheap and highly efficient.

HOOKAH

We all know that hookah bars are great for smoking overpriced, flavored tobacco but should you both smoking pot out of one? The people of Amsterdam would like you to think so.

Like bongs, hookahs can get you really stoned in a short amount of time. They also keep the authentic flavor of the pot pure. However, hookahs burn through weed faster than bongs do. If you like to take your time getting blazed, then a hookah isn’t right for you.

VAPORIZER

Anytime you smoke herb you can inhale harmful toxins created by the burning process. A vaporizer eliminates the health problems associated with smoking by bypassing the burning process.

Some people only smoke their weed through vaporizers to avoid any consequential health risks.

In comparision to other methods of smoking pot, vaporizers tend to get you really stoned really fast. They send the THC directly into your bloodstream via your lungs and provides you with a purer version of the weed you’re smoking.

If you want to eliminate any tar and excessive smoke and get really stoned, use a vaporizer.

HOMEMADE BONG

If you’re poor and still want to get jazzed, then try creating your own smoking device out of found objects. Anybody who is motivated enough can make a perfectly adequate bong out of a pumpkin or water bottle. It’s a cheaper alternative than buying a glass piece, and will get you just as blunted.

The good thing about smoking out of garbage or fruit is the accessibility you have to these items. Anybody can buy an apple from the grocery store or borrow their pal’s empty water bottle.

Chances are, if you’re too broke to buy a real bong, you’re also too poor to buy good weed. If you find yourself in this predicament, smoking your shwag out of an apple will add flavor to your pot. If you don’t dig the flavor of apples, try a pumpkin or pear.

BUBBLER

There aren’t any positive aspects to smoking out of a bubbler. In all honesty, bubblers resemble a pair of nuts with a large shaft coming out of them. They are expensive, fragile, and smell bad if you don’t regularly change the water.

Bubblers will get you pretty high. They work in the same way bongs do, but unlike a bong, you cannot smoke out of one with a large group of people. Try avoiding bubblers at all costs and stick to either pipes, bongs, or water bottles.

JOINT

If you’re a person who is an avid pot smoker, chances are you’ve learned how to roll a joint properly. Joints are a great way to smoke pot at shows, on the street, or while driving. They can easily be disguised as a cigarette and rolling papers are available at most local corner store.

Joints make good pot go down smoothly and can be shared amongst a small group of people. They’re an affordable and easy method of smoking weed. If you want a hassel free pot smoking device, joints are your best bet.

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