Super Mario Bros. On Ice [VIDEO]

Now, I’m a big fan when it comes to all things Super Mario (save for that God awful Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games and unnecessary sequel garbage); if I so much as see the names “Mario” and/or “Luigi” appear anywhere on the street I start to get all giddy inside with a stupid grin appearing on my face – and passerby thinking I’m clinically insane. That’s why I couldn’t help but post this video of Tatiana Volosozhar’s  and Maxim Trankov’s Mario-inspired performance from the 2011 World Championships in Moscow. Granted, this performance isn’t really anything special, but you can’t go wrong with a hot Russian blonde doing amazing splits and other crazy moves on the ice! Come on, paisanos, watch Tatiana bust some serious moves for yourself!

Epic Beer Pong Dunk Over Car [VIDEO]

You know those times when an awesome idea you had looked great on paper, went without a hitch in your head, but the moment you put your plan into action it blows up in your face? Well, that’s what must have happened to these guys as they attempted to perform a beer pong dunk over a car. They say that fortune favors the bold – or complete sh*t for brains – so I’m guessing after a few hospital visits and stitches later, the guy will eventually learn to stick his landing. See this video for yourself and try not to do anything too stupid today!

Star Wars Burlesque For Star Wars Day

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• Kat Dennings Has Thor Boobs

• Memorable Star Wars Quotes

• 10 more things you should know about sex

• President Will Ferrell Responds To Osama’s Death

• Megan Fox plays with our passion

• If Great Movies Were Ruined By Product Placement

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• 9 Sexiest Celebrity Sports Fans

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• 10 Of The Worst Celebrity Tattoos Of All-Time

• A Guide To The Calories In Alcohol

• Time For Some Star Wars GIFs!

• Guy Hurts Balls, Sh*ts Pants

• The 6 Games That Wish They Were Pokemon

• German Guy Takes A Shovel To The Ass

• 25 Freaky Sideshow Acts

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CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE AWESOME LINKS!

Facebook’s First-Ever Radio Station, WCKD

The music scene can be a rough place for new, up-and-coming bands trying to get some exposure in a world that’s already over-saturated with other artists vying for the same goal. With a lack of outlets to do so, many bands lose the ambition to keep pushing on and call the quits on their musical journey. Wicked Audio – an industry leader in headphone manufacturing and design – has heard the pleas of the despondent and have created a revolutionary new platform on Facebook that allows bands to get their moment in the spotlight – WCKD Radio!

WCKD Radio is a no-cost platform that allows artists to upload their music on Facebook complete with their band’s name, song title and a related image. There’s no limit to how many songs a band or artist can upload – essentially meaning that the more songs they put out, the more of an edge they have in getting an audience and potential fanbase.

As an added incentive, Wicked Audio will run contests and giveaways through this service with prizes being awarded to those that can get the most “likes” for their band’s music. Anyone who receives over 200 “likes” on a song will be given 35 Wicked Audio headphones to hand out to fans at their next gig; not to mention that their music will featured on the company’s website!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO FACEBOOK’S FIRST EVER RADIO STATION, WCKD

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Epic Beer Thief Fail [VIDEO]

While none of us would ever dare commit a robbery, you can’t say the thought hasn’t at least entered your mind once or twice thanks to films like Ocean’s Eleven. You know, breaking in and leaving in a grandiose fashion while the police bumble about like Keystone Cops. But we all can’t be George Clooney, as this inept beer thief with some serious delusions of grandeur found out. The saddest apart about this video is that an innocent six-pack of beer was killed because of a robbery gone sour; the man’s not only a petty crook, but a cold-blooded murderer too. Watch this injustice for yourself and try not to cry.

John Ritter Is Crazy (For Recycling) [VIDEO]

When John Ritter passed away a few years back, many people decided to remember him for his memorable roles on television shows like Three’s Company – while turning a blind eye to his habit of roaming the suburbs, tearing through people’s trash like a starving raccoon! While I commend his dedication to the preservation of our environment, does he really have to yell at us like that, or wear – and I’m positive that it is – eyeliner for that matter? Personally, the crying Native American guy and Woodsy the Owl made for a better mascots, not John Ritter who looks like he raided Angus Young’s concert wardrobe. Watch this video for yourself and go crazy for recycling!

Slick Is A “Jive Soul Bro” [VIDEO]

There are many music artists that – regardless of their unbridled talent and originality – I feel have been robbed of a Grammy or VMA one too many times in the past. But the fact that Slick has never been given the proper recognition, let alone not being invited to attend these events, for his rhyming prowess is both an unforgivable crime and a blemish on the entire music industry. Slick’s paid his dues, he’s showed his skills, and yet he sits alone eating “yardbird,” watching his career fade into obscurity. If you’re looking for something a little more “underground,” watch the musical stylings of Slick for yourself!

Lucy Clarkson: Tasty Tombraider

Photo by All Wallpapers Free.org

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Puppet With An “M” Fetish [VIDEO]

Welcome to “Peppermint Park,” a pleasant little neighborhood just a few blocks down from Sesame Street, where it looks as though exposure to a horrific toxic waste spill caused all of its residents to fuse together – creating a race of nightmarish human/puppet hybrids. Of these mutants, Ernie – not the Ernie -wants to extol his undying love for the letter “M.” Judging by his nervous expression and fidgety hands, you so know that he’s trying his hardest to fight that boner about to rip through his pants; thank God that he’s being filmed from the waist up, because no one should ever bear witness to a puppet erection! Watch this marvelous… magnificent… video for yourself!

DONA The Panhandling Robot [VIDEO]

Call it a sign of the times or sweet poetic justice, but you know things are getting tough when our technological superiors are forced to take to the streets and hit up their once fleshy inferiors for some coin. While many of us are more than eager to send a throat oyster their way, you’ll at least want to give a quarter (or your entire paycheck) to DONA – the little panhandling robot that’s cute as the dickens! Not only will DONA make you look like a heartless monster for ignoring her, but she doesn’t smell like an ungodly combination of garbage and vomit like most panhandlers; not to mention she won’t whisper obscenities under breath. Watch DONA work her panhandling magic for yourself!

Superman Turns His Back On America

For nearly 80 years, comic book fans young and old would never have imagined that Superman – a superhero representing American ideals every bit as much as Marvel’s Captain America – would turn his back on the country he’s defended from threats both domestic and beyond the stars. But in a move that sent shockwaves throughout pop culture, Supes did just that in the landmark 900th issue of Action Comics - a 96-page epic setting the stage for a new chapter in the Man of Steel’s storied legacy. What exactly caused Superman to renounce his United States citizenship, and what of everyone’s reactions?

Action Comics #900 was broken up into separate tales with the story “Incident” (written by David S. Goyer and illustrated by Miguel Sepulveda) involving Superman’s devastating decision. Not wanting to give too much away for those that wish to read it, Superman’s visit to Iran during a protest is interpreted as an act of aggression on part of the United States. One event leads to another until Superman ultimately declares he is not and should never be seen as an extension of the U.S. military’s global policy; he is a world defender and feels that it is in his best interest to renounce his U.S. citizenship.

While fans of Superman and comics in general believe that his decision – while shocking – is logical, GOP activists are accusing DC Comics of insidiously trashing America and its values, even when it is clearly palpable that this isn’t the case. Geez, it’s not like he said he supported communism and… whoa boy…

(via Fox News and The Huffington Post)

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Is The Aqua Teen Hunger Force Re-Boot A Hoax? [POLL]

Like an awkward and mentally disturbed phoenix rising from the ashes, Aqua Teen Hunger Force will be going out in a blaze of glory, only to be given a long overdue reboot as Aqua Unit Patrol Squad – premiering May 8th! According to Cartoon Network, the show will be getting an entire overhaul – bringing the Aqua Teens back to their roots as the inept team of detectives they once were. Changes to the title and career aside, what else does the future hold for everyone’s – okay, maybe not everyone’s – favorite team of fastfood sleuths?

With a new moniker comes a new location, and the Aqua Teens are bidding farewell to their little hellhole in New Jersey and taking the Danger Cart to Seattle – their new home! Whether or not Carl, the Mooninites and other classic characters will make the jump to Washington remains to be seen, but the creators of the show would be stupid not to… or are they?

And lastly, Josh Homme of the Queens of the Stone Age and Alain Johannes collaborated to create the new theme song for the show, doing away the original Schooly D intro entirely. If this has all failed to sink in, maybe it would be better to hear it straight from the mouth of Meatwad (puppet).

CHECK OUT MEATWAD’S ANNOUNCEMENT BELOW:

CLICK THE PIC TO SEE THE VIDEO

CHECK OUT THE NEW THEME SONG & VOTE IN OUR POLL BELOW:

(Via A.V. Club)

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10 Monsters & Their Kid Companions [VIDEOS]

There’s nothing quite as endearing or timeless as the unconditional love found in a relationship between a boy and his dog. But in the innumerable realms of geekdom, dogs aren’t the only creatures holding the prestigious accolade of “man’s best friend.” In fact, some of them can be real monsters – literally! From comic books to video games, there are some kids that opt to romp around with monsters straight from the nether regions of Hell or beyond the stars. So take a look under your bed and watch out for 10 monsters and their kid companions!

1) Billy & Gizmo (Gremlins)

If there’s one thing we can learn from this movie, it’s this: if an old Chinese mystic tells you that you’re not fit to raise a Mogwai, you sure as hell take his advice – they’ve been around the block long enough to know what they’re talking about! But, then again, when you’re looking for that one-of-a-kind Christmas present for your son, that used Commodore 64 pales in comparison to a tiny monster that can spawn even more tiny monsters with a bloodlust if mishandled.

The relationship between Billy and Gizmo the Mogwai started out well enough, but it was because of his own malfeasance that their little friendship went to hell faster than a homicidal devil worshipper wearing a jetpack. In retrospect, Billy actually mistreated Gizmo in the movie, looking to profit off his ability to produce more Mogwais – callously oblivious to the physical pain and resulting illness he went through during the reproduction process.

2) Brian & Maurice (Little Monsters)

You know that monster under your bed? The one that whispers that Satanic backwards talk in your ear and uses the lifeless corpse of your little brother as a ventriloquist dummy? It’s not there to kill you, it just wants to know if you want to hit up Monster Land for an all-night video game marathon followed by dining on the all the finest junk food you can eat, silly! Little Monsters showed that the monster – played with absolute verve by Howie Mandel – that’s been making your life a private hell is merely a friend you haven’t met – a friend with an insidious plot to turn you into a terrifying creature of the night as well!

Fun fact: Howie Mandel was also in Gremlins – voicing Gizmo. Little kids just love the guy, they never shut up about him.

3) Roy & Mr. Swlabr (Monsters)

Monsters was a horror anthology series similar to Tales From the Darkside that aired from the late 80s up until the early 90s. Of the various stories that aired, “Mr. Swlabr” tells a Cinderella-style tale of Roy: a young boy with no friends and an errant father, living under the thumb of his cruel mother and older sister. But in a strange twist of fate, he finds salvation from his lonely social life and indentured servitude at the bottom of a cereal box: a packet containing a dehydrated Mr. Swlabr – a creature who needs liquids to grow!

The great thing about Mr. Swlabr is that he’s more than just a friend to Roy, he becomes a de facto father figure of sorts, teaching him to stand up for himself, as well as becoming his personal sentinel that slimes anyone who dares mess with his new son – I mean – companion.

"It's okay, kid, I'm your dad now!"

Geez, a slimy and morbidly obese monster from a cereal box already has a better track record than his real father. Slime aside, this is going to make for a messy custody battle…

4) Elliott & E. T. (E.T.)

It’s a shame that most relationships between humans and alien monsters can’t be as innocent and enduring as the one Elliott and E.T. shared. Most of the time, aliens merely see humans as nothing more than a vessel to carry around the spawn of their unborn young, or as laborers once our planet has been conquered by their superior intellect and technology. But maybe what we all need to do is put down our weapons, watch this movie together, and one day call that Xenomorph with its tail through your stomach “brother.” We then embrace and can safely declare that galactic peace has officially been achieved! Thank you, Steven Spielberg!

5) Max & Monster (My Pet Monster)

Let’s ignore the fact that this cartoon has, quite possibly, the worst theme song in the history of Saturday morning cartoons and jump right into what this show’s about. My Pet Monster tells the tale of a lonely boy named Max who – surprise, surprise – befriends a little monster he bought from a toy store. In a stroke of pure creative genius, Max names his new BFF “Monster.” But just like any relationship between a monster and a boy inept at socializing, his existence must be kept a secret to all. How does he do this? By slapping Monster with handcuffs, turning him into a doll. Cruel? It looks that way. Unintentionally kinky? Perhaps a smidge, but if you’re a kid who’s tone deaf and alone most of the time, you’ll do anything to preserve your newfound friendship!

6) Ash & Pikachu (Pokemon)

Upon a child’s 10th birthday in the world of Pokemon, he or she is given the option to drop out of school and become a Pokemon trainer, traveling the world unsupervised and picking fights with other trainers until they’ve reached the top – in which there’s nothing much else you can do afterward, other than working to earn a GED. Of these trainers, the relationship between Ash Ketchum and his Pikachu is the most iconic and nothing quite says “you’re my best friend in the whole universe” than by having him pit his companion against another Pokemon, and making them fight to the point of exhaustion. To put it simply, it’s just like cockfighting, but with more love! D’aaaawwww!

And for those of you saying Pikachu isn’t a monster, “Pokemon” is short for “Pocket Monsters.” Boy, is your face ever red!

7) “Boy” & “Blob” (A Boy And His Blob)

It’s a fact: blobs don’t make very good companions. They’re more content to feast upon your flesh than tag along on some quest to liberate their planet from a despotic monarch that forces his people to eat candy all day (the actual plot of the game). But you might get lucky and find that one blob with a taste for jellybeans that can transform into random crap for your simple-minded amusement. While the bond between “Boy” and “Blob” is palpable, one wonders if Blob’s sticking around strictly for the jellybeans. In the game, he never takes it upon himself to defend his master from harm – giving credence to the theory that the relationship is predicated on the promise of jellybeans.

8) Stanley & The Beast With No Name (Stanley And His Monster)

Stanley and His Monster was a backup feature for The Fox and the Crow from DC Comics during the late 60s. Stanley found the monster in a sewer and, seeing that it was a timid and frightened creature, took it in as his new best friend. That’s cute and innocent enough, until it was discovered that Stanley’s new friend was actually a demon – dubbed the “Beast With No Name” – banished from Hell by Lucifer for being too kind-hearted. Lucifer had hoped that by banishing him to Earth, the people would fear and despise the creature, thus planting the seeds of malice towards mankind. But through the power of friendship, Lucifer’s plans were unknowingly derailed.

Despite this unsettling truth, Stanley’s parents ultimately allowed him to keep the Beast With No Name as a pet. I mean, why not? The kid next door has a C.H.U.D. for a pet.

The relationship between Rick and the Hulk was abusive at first.

9) Rick Jones & The Hulk (The Incredible Hulk)

If there’s anyone that feels responsible for Dr. Bruce Banner’s exposure to the gamma radiation that turned him into the Hulk, it’s the young Rick Jones. Banner saved the life of Rick when he, on a dare, drove out onto the gamma bomb testing site. Being the first to witness the doctor’s transformation into the Hulk – and his new violent persona – Rick vowed to act as his moral compass and make sure that the green misanthrope doesn’t rip the heads clear off anyone’s shoulders.

But, this relationship ended just about as quickly as it began when Rick began gallivanting with the Avengers and eventually Captain Marvel, dropping the Hulk like yesterday’s garbage – even though he would visit him now and then out of guilt.

10) Max & The Wild Things (Where The Wild Things Are)

Max (not to be confused with the other Max from My Pet Monster) tops about everyone on this list for one reason, and one reason only: he doesn’t just have one monster as his best friend – the kid’s got an entire running crew – and he’s their king to boot! With friends like these backing you up, locking Max in his room without dinner like a third world political prisoner wouldn’t exactly be prudent on his mother’s part; the monsters would cut that skank up for sure! Hell hath no fury like a child with ADD rolling with a gang of monsters scorned.

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Crazy Coked Up Panda [VIDEO]

Panda’s are sometimes known to bust into the unguarded storehouses of sugar cane refineries in China and pretty much go to town on the sweet sugar sitting there. But what this panda in the video might of thought was sugar turned out to be pure cocaine; hey, they’re both white and powdery, right? And if this video is anything to go by, he must be feeling one hell of a buzz! It’ll be a while before he comes down from his high, but for now, watch this video of a coked up panda that puts Lil Wayne to shame!