The Dorm Pregame: Do It Right

Ah, dorm life. What a beautiful time.

The shower shoes, the sloppy Friday nights, the obnoxious girls down the hall that think it’s cute to blast LFO’s “Summer Girlsâ€? for the whole building to hear. It’s such an important era in your four years of fabulous.

So what do you do when you’re stuck with an anal RA whose mistaken his handbook of proper conduct as an FBI badge? Well throw a bangin’ dorm pregame, duh!

There’s definitely certain factors that make for a successful in-dorm pregame, and here we’ve mapped them out for you. No need to thank me, I find it my duty as a wise college sophomore. (Haha) Read more

Drunk Astronauts Give New Meaning to AirSick Bags

In the wonderful world (bubble) of a college student, it seems very little can be accomplished without an adequate “pregameâ€? beforehand. It’s common to hear exchanges like,“Wanna go bowling tonight?â€?
“Dude yea! Let’s pregame!â€?

“We should go see that new horror flick guys.â€?
“Hell yea, but it’ll be ten times scarier if we smoke the herb first!â€?

“Putt Putt?â€?
“Tequila!â€?

So if anyone can understand why there has been an outbreak of drunk astronauts, college kids take the cake:

“Ready for take off?â€?
“We got a couple minutes, man. Finish the flaskâ€?

Hollywood never called dibs on juicy scandals, so NASA decided to join the fun. Controversy has broken out when a recently published article in an aviation mag exposed NASA for allegedly sending astronauts up into space whilst wasted. Yes, you read right, sloshed, hammered, intoxicated. Houston, we have a problem. Read more

Bizarre Internship Chronicles: Embarassment Imminent

As if the New York City heat wave wasn’t hell-sent enough, it chose to hit at the exact moment that the air conditioning in our cluttered intern’s den became kaput. Working at this music television station had simply become one crazy story after the next.

The other day I was asked to get one of the VJ’s dogs groomed and was given an anal leakage prescription that, to my horror (this is my luck we’re talking about) got carried away by a breeze and was handed back to me by a beautiful, beautiful (somewhat queasy-looking) but beautiful boy. Anal leakage is not such a cute ‘So how’d you two meet?’ type of story. So, I bailed pronto.

Anyway that was the other day, today was today, and today I was sweating like a recovering nymphomaniac who’d accidentally stumbled into a brothel. The glory of it all was that miraculously, the AC had only died out in our small cubicle encrusted room, so no one with any actual power had any desire to get it fixed anytime soon.

Oh, the agony of a summer internship.

I was immersed in checking for evidence of the dreaded pit stain (little ones already and it was only nine, boo) when my boss Pierre came to what seemed like my rescue, informing me that I’d be working in the filming studio today. I clapped my hands together, this I’d never done before! Read more