5 Most Current Felonious Musicians

Felonious musicians are great. Why waste time creating ‘musical art’ and hoping for some slither of critical acclaim when you can just load your pockets up with Class A contraband, get arrested, see your face slapped up front across news sites the world over, and coin in the publicity? Here’s five choice ditties from recent rockin’ rebels. Bonus clue: Based on his name alone, one of these guys is likely to offend again…

1. T.I.

Rap star T.I. was sentenced in an Atlanta federal  to one year and one day in prison, and ordered to pay a $100,300 fine on weapons charges related to purchasing machine guns and silencers.  While waiting for sentencing he released his sixth CD, “Paper Trail,” which has sold over 2 million copies.  He walked into jail reportedly worth in excess of 20 million dollars.  While in Jail he received an MTV Music Award.  He was released from prison to a halfway house in December, and will reportedly be released with only 500 hours of community service and probation on or about March 28, 2010.

2.  Lil’ Wayne

Lil Wayne was sentenced yesterday,= and now the rapper can finally begin his one-year prison sentence. He was originally slated to be sentenced last month, but his attorney made a last-minute request to postpone the proceedings in order for Wayne to undergo dental surgery. The judge granted the request and rescheduled the proceedings for the following Tuesday, but when an unexpected fire occurred Tuesday morning at the courthouse, all afternoon cases were pushed back.

No surprises, Wayne was expected to formally enter a guilty plea to attempted gun possession after he and prosecutors reached a deal in the case in November. He will serve a one-year prison term, and it is widely believed that he could be out in as early as eight months later, assuming good behavior. The rapper was arrested in 2007 on gun charges and was facing up to 15 years in prison if convicted. The MC star is expected to turn himself in immediately after his sentencing.

3. Chris Brown

Lover’s tiff Chris may be all over the news for his foxy boxing bout with umbrella girl Rhianna, but was he gentleman enough to warn her he was about to get physical? ‘Yo (Excuse Me Miss)’ may or may not hold the answers.

4. Lily Allen
Hell hath no fury like a loud-mouthed British songstress, and the gobby Ms Allen recently dispatched a flurry of punches and kicks at a group of paparazzi photographers looking to snap her coming out of her London abode. Anyone for Allen versus Brown, three rounds? Here’s the charming ‘The Fear’.

5. Uncle Murda
A rapper who at one point persuaded Jay-Z to sign him to Roc-A-Fella Records, the East New York menace was arrested at LAX for the surprisingly non-violent crime of identity fraud. Apparently he paid $500 for a fake ID, an amount that, with hindsight, would have probably been better spent on raw cocaine. Here’s his ode to being an official ‘Murdara‘.

Keeping the Cell Warm

And while we wait for the inevitable day that the above knuckleheads deprive the world of their talents while rotting in a jail cell, let us not forget.

Today’s Time-Waster: Blazing Lazers

If you’re strongly of the opinion that the world of video game racing is sorely lacking in the lasers department, then head over to the Blazing Lazers demo site for the aptly-titled Super Laser Racers.

Fusing top-down race action with the type of blast-and-move business that made Geometry Wars such a frenzied affair, the title keeps things perky with Survivor and Eliminator modes, plus online leagues and a track editor to boot.

A must for all speed demons with dreams of causing destruction with a plasma cannon or laser mine, you can cop the full game for less than ten bucks this Friday by clicking here.

14-Year-Old Demolishes Guitar Hero World Records 3 Times

Taking Guitar Hero obsession to a new high, 14-year-old Danny ‘Phenom’ Johnson recently burst his way into the Guinness Book Of World Records not once but three times, setting new standards with the Longest Note Streak On Guitar Hero (with a score of 3,722 and 100% on the track ‘Through The Fire And The Flames’), the Highest Score For A Single Track (the just-shy-of-a-million 985,206 on the same ditty), and the Highest Score On Guitar Hero: Metallica with a rockin’ 1,009,056 on ‘Mercyful Fate’.

“I don’t think there is anything that can stop this kid, his talents are infinite,” said his father of the feat, possibly confusing ‘ability at a video game’ with ‘world domination’.

Check out Dan The Young Man in action here.

Ninja Rabbit Kicks Ass [Gaming]

Adding the word ‘ninja’ before something is a guaranteed way to transform the mundane into the badass, and we’re pleased to see that the good folks over at Wolfire Games agree with us, being all set to launch the ninja-rabbit fighting game, Overgrowth. Also adding known-martial-arts-experts wolves, rats, cats and dogs to the bloody mix, they’ve just upped the first episode of an online comic to help stoke hype for the title – check it out here.

Top 5 Old-School Soccer Sims

With Messi’s Barcelona besting Ronaldo’s Manchester United to claim club soccer’s most prized title in the 2009 European Champion’s League final, we’re on a serious soccer binge here at COED. So to keep the party going, here are five old school soccer titles that can most definitely kick it… Read more

Burn, Baby, Burn: Real-Time Online Racing

Think you can burn rubber and slide into a slipstream just as speedily as any reckless professional racing car driver? Head over to Real-Time Racing where they’ve just opened a registration – ahem – drive to find the 5,000 top video game speed demons in the world. Read more

Game-Up With DSi Downloads

Hankering after some cool new content for your new Nintendo DSi but can’t be bothered to deal with the unsanitary oiks who man the register down at your local video game store? Get hooked up to the new DSi Shop and start downloading exclusive titles now.

Available from the NintendoDSi site, launch titles on offer include the elastic tongue antics of Bird & Beans, the magic-tastic Master Of Illusion, the underwater puzzler Art Style: AQUIA, the micro-game shenanigans of WarioWare: Snapped!, and the cerebral pretensions of Brain Age Express: Math.

Now, go get to spending those DSi Points…

Burnin’ Rubber World Record

Reckon that time you stayed up bleary-eyed until 4am playing Halo ranks you as a hardcore gamer? Think again, as a group of dedicated souls are out to set a new Guinness World Record by playing Burnout Paradise for 24 straight hours.

Attempting the feat on April 18th, six of the staff of Ready Up will be plugged into Xbox Live for an entire day of rubber burnin’ action, with only “short bathroom and eating” breaks officially allowed as they bid to add Longest Marathon Playing A Driving Game to their resumes.  Read more

Knockout Queens: Bikini Boxing

Girls. In bikinis. Fighting. What could be better? Well, how about watching the said sexy combo from the comfort of your couch? Which is just what volume three of the Knockout Queens DVD franchise promises, letting you view ladies like Kreamy and Sequenta pummel each other while wearing over-sized gloves and very little in the way of formal clothing.

Click here for the teaser (and skip to the minute mark for some ‘unique’ card girl action.)

Who You Gonna Call? Alyssa Milano!

Not just the minx from Charmed, Alyssa Milano has now added video game voice-over acting to her resume by agreeing to play the role of Dr Ilyssa Selwyn in the upcoming Ghostbusters video game release.

Ear-marked as the love interest in the game’s plot, the sassy archaeologist will be fending off the smooth moves of Bill Murray’s Dr Peter Venkman character while showing off her expertise in, er, pre-Sumerian culture.

Click here for more info on the classic ’80s movie’s new digital life.

All That Scratchin’ Is Making Us Itch: Ultimate DJ Preview Trailer

Taking music rhythm games in a new direction, Scratch: The Ultimate DJ promises to let you live out those spinning and scratching fantasies to the full when it drops later this year on PS3 and Xbox360. Read more

5 Video Games That Are Actually Good For You!

New high-tech research from Nottingham Trent University claims that playing video games has the potential to become part of a beneficial daily physical exercise regime. Which is reassuring, if hardly news for anyone who’s been dabbling in the more vigorous side of video-gaming in recent years. Here’s five of the best that just might make you tone up… Read more

The Don Of Dons: New Godfather II Multiplayer Is Badass

Bad Brando impressions at the ready: Godfather II, out on PC, PS3 and Xbox360, will come with an all new multi-player mode allowing up to 16 wannabe Mafia bosses to “think like a Don” – which presumably means coming up with devious and blood-splattering ways to dispose of your fellow Mafiosi.

Adding another dimension to the merciless killings and horse heads in beds action, you’ll be able to wager currency clocked up in the solo mode against your online performance, as well as recruit other players to join the ranks of your crime family.

Set against the backdrop of the 1960′s organized crime world, you can see who’s the ultimate Don of Dons on April 7th when the game’s released. In the meantime, check out more info here.

Resident Evil 5 Gets Bloody

Ever wanted to put a rusty chainsaw through the mug of your best gaming pal? Get set for the latest twist in the Resident Evil franchise as game number five dumps the cooperative multi-player angle and pitches players up against each other thanks to a new online ‘Versus’ mode.

Released separately to the game’s physical launch, the mode’s available for download from Xbox LIVE and PlayStation Network, and lets up to four gamers join in the horrorcore fun, either as a bloody ‘Survivor’s Rule’ last-man-standing melee or in a rack-up-the-body-count ‘Slayer’s Rule’ shoot-out where the player who offs the most Majinis takes the spoils.

At only $4.99 on the PlayStation Network and 400 fanciful Microsoft Points on Xbox LIVE, covering yourself with blood and guts has never been this easy.