Paul The Octopus Goes Six For Six… Spain Advances to 2010 World Cup Final

Hail The New Messiah: Paul The Octopus

Paul the Octopus continued his astonishing streak of correctly predicting the outcome of German national soccer matches, with his record now standing at 10-1. The only match he got wrong was the last time Spain and Germany met, in the European Championships in 2008. Now the world is faced with a genuine oracle. The two year-old cephalopod should get a job as pundit for Sky Sports, at least he knows his football.

Perhaps this is the reason Germany looked so jaded out on the pitch today. Joachim Löw got it all wrong today in instructing the German side to sit deep and look to hit on the counter. The Germans invited the Spanish onto them all throughout the first half, absorbing pressure and daring the Spanish to shoot from outside the box. Spain was always looking for just one more pass, and Germany easily mopped up wave after wave of attacks.

David Villa had an excellent chance in one on one with the German goalkeeper Neuer, but Neuer positioned himself well enough to save the shot. Piotr Trochowski had a shot saved at the other end, and then Spain’s Sergio Ramos brought down Mesut Ozil from behind either right on the edge or right inside the penalty area. On slow-motion replay, Ramos clearly takes out Ozil’s left (anchor) leg, as Ozil was about to tuck the ball under to wrong-foot the Spaniard. A penalty could have been awarded and maybe that would have been harsh, but for the referee to just wave play on was ridiculous. And that was about the only meaningful goalmouth action for the first half hour, aside from 3 or 4 wrong offside calls.

At the start of the second half, Löw hooked the ineffective Boateng and Trochowski, and brought on Toni Kroos and Marcell Jansen. Spanish coach Del Bosque brought on Pedro to support David Villa in attack. As Germany pushed for the equalizer, a long cleared ball found Pedro, who sprinted past Lahm and raced into the area with only the keeper to beat. Pedro also had a passing option available but instead tried to get tricky and lost the ball. A goal right then would surely have killed off the game, and Germany were lucky to escape, albeit with their nerves a-jangle.

The Germans today did not play like the side that utterly dismantled England and humiliated Argentina. You had to check the team sheet to be sure that Khedira was even playing. Germany had no dominance in midfield, despite Schweinsteiger giving a heroic effort. The Spanish were all around, getting everyone behind the ball. The eventual undoing of the resolute German defense came from a corner kick. Carles Puyol and Gerard Pique both went for the ball, with no German challenging aerially, and Puyol whipped his header into the net. 1-0 to Spain. Even this failed to spur the Germans into all-out attack. It seemed the referee was not interested in fouls against the Germans for at least half an hour, and maybe the ominous predictions of Paul the Psychic Octopus began weighing too heavily on the German team. One could see they were definitely missing the creativity of (wrongly) suspended striker Thomas Müeller, but they just didn’t seem to want it today.

Spain passed the ball around in circles, then took ages to trudge off the pitch when substituted, and after 3+ minutes of stoppage time, Spain found itself in its first-ever World Cup final. Spain face Holland on Sunday, and whichever team wins, the World Cup will have a new winner, and an eighth nation can claim to have lifted the trophy.

This Spanish side had squeaked through every match so far, winning four matches 1-0, and only putting 2 past Honduras and Chile. That is not the mark of a team with seven players from the Barcelona side, and five from Real Madrid. Where are the goals? Of course, the real story is that Spain has only given up one goal in this tournament, and that’s all it takes to win matches. If Spain plays this way in the final and wins, it will continue the dubious tradition of Brazil in 2002 and Italy in 2006, of winning ugly. I can guarantee that Spain will take the win, even if it is very ugly, if it means they can finally get their hands on the ultimate prize in sport.

Contrast this attitude with the total disowning of Dunga and his Brazil side by every Brazilian newspaper and pundit, for playing an “ugly” style of defensive football. The Italian winners of 2006 were likewise defensively minded and eschewed flair and invention in favor of pragmatism.

It’s easy, perhaps to moan about the lack of stylish football when your home team is no longer in contention for the cup, but for neutrals everywhere, this World Cup has been decidedly lacking in beautiful football. While the drama has been white hot, the football has not. The USA’s dramatic 92nd minute goal by Landon Donovan still stands as the most riveting rollercoaster ride of 2010′s tourney. The controversies of a demonic jabulani ball, legitimate goals not being allowed (USA had 2, England had 1), Spain’s David Villa diving in the last round for a penalty (that he missed), Uruguay’s Suarez’s swatting  a goal-bound shot off the line with his hand, more missed penalties, Germany’s Neuer conning the referee that Frank Lampard’s strike did not cross the line – and so on, have made this World Cup memorable, the subject of extended taproom analysis, and dramatic. But 2010 has not been a World Cup to savor. I felt compelled to tell my viewing compadre, Chris, that this Spain vs. Germany match was about a B- in terms of watchable soccer. And this was a semi-final, not a cagey first-round clash between two sides lucky to be there.

The match for Third Place is on Saturday, and will be fought by Uruguay and Germany. The 2010 World Cup Final will be on Sunday, between Holland and Spain. There are exactly two matches remaining for any of these 4 teams to really turn on the style, to give us a proper show, a proper display of jogo bonita. Anything would be better than a cagey, cautious final limping towards extra time, like in 2006, which was only enlivened by Zidane headbutting Materazzi. Let these last four teams earn their places in history.

Based on the semi-finals, the teams are more evenly matched than they appeared leading up to this point. I think both matches will be close, separated by a lone goal, with Holland edging Spain, and Germany edging Uruguay. But then again, I don’t pretend to the omnipotence displayed by the mighty Paul The Octopus.

Holland Heads to Johannesburg

Holland 3, Uruguay 2

The Oranjemen booked their place in Johannesburg for the 2010 World Cup final with a narrow escape from a Uruguayan side that played with plenty of passion but left it too late in the game before mounting a would-be comeback.

Uruguay’s Diego Forlan was again in impressive form and dictated the South Americans’ attack, since Suarez was serving a one match suspension for his infamous handball. Without Suarez’s creativity, Forlan too often was an isolated figure. It’s astonishing how quickly a TV replay can show an offside call to be correct, or a ball to have crossed the line completely, but the officials on the field are forbidden from using their wireless links to hear what actually happened, and so Forlan was incorrectly ruled offside in the first 10 minutes. At the other end, a similar build up left Dirk Kuyt with the ball and goal at his mercy, only to lash his shot wildly over the bar.

Good. Both sides wanting to come out and attack, both sides ready to strike first blood. Mark Van Bommel has been playing as if he is attempting to collect blood donations from the opposite team, in every game thus far. How he has managed to stay on the pitch is a bit of a mystery, and Van Bommel’s intensity has the Uruguayans turning up the heat themselves. Several tackles are contested and the match is simmering at a low boil.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the Dutch play the ball to left-back Giovanni Von Bronckhorst, who drifts left and unbelievably belts the ball 40 yards and past the keeper, the ball cannoning off the upright and into the back of the net. Astonishing. A beautiful goal to rival any World Cup goal. Holland one-nil up. The Uruguayans were understandably not that impressed with the goal, and came back with real menace. Cacares tried an over-the-shoulder bicycle kick and caught De Zeeuw square in the puss. On replay, De Zeeuw appeared to be knocked out before he hit the turf. This calls into question the refereeing decisions that award a red card for a stray elbow, but if someone kicks over their goddamn head and catches the other guy in the face and splits his mouth open, it’s only a yellow? Are you serious? Yes, they were serious.

Shortly after play resumed, Forlan again showed his world class talents, striking from 30 yards out and letting the jabulani’s bizarre flight path do the rest. If you’ve ever seen a water-logged ball wiggle in the air, that’s what the jabulani does on nearly every meaningful strike. Stekelenburg in goal may have thought the defender in front of him was going to get a head to the ball, but whatever he was thinking didn’t really matter as the ball dipped and flew past his outstretched hand. The sides are now level, and Dirk Kuyt tries some hold-up play on the left, shielding the ball, only to have his left ankle kicked out from under him, but the ref somehow thinks it’s simulation, as does the ESPN commentator Ian Darke, who rants on about the deplorable diving ruining the game. If anyone ever runs into Darke, just run up to him and kick in the ankle hard enough to knock him down, then ask if that was simulation.

At the restart, De Zeeuw is replaced with Rafael Van Der Vaart, a more attacking midfielder. One of VDV’s first touches it to gift the ball straight to the Uruguayan attack. A minute later, Boulahrouz forgets how to pass the ball and decides to make things interesting by creating a foot race between his keeper and Forlan. Forlan wins the ball and Cavani chips it at goal, but Von Bronckhorst clears the ball off the line. What are the Dutch playing at? They look completely rattled. Both sides begin playing counter-attacking football and the game opens right up.

In the 68th minute Wesley Sneijder finds the ball at his feet just outside the penalty area and tries his luck. The shot pings off a defender’s shin and Robin Van Persie leaps over the ball as it nicks the upright and turns into the goal. The Uruguayans want the goal disallowed for offside, but Van Persie didn’t touch it (wisely). 2-1 to Holland. Minutes later Arjen Robben nets the 3rd goal with a deadly header off a Dirk Kuyt cross. Holland think they’re through and Uruguay is in a murderous humor. A well-worked free kick catches the Dutch napping, and suddenly the momentum swings back in Uruguay’s favor. 89th minute and it’s 3-2 to the Dutch. Long balls bombing forward, throws straight into the box, it’s all hands to the pump now. The ref calls for 3 minutes added time but allows nearly 5, during which Uruguay has at least 2 chances to score an equalizer.

At the final whistle, half a dozen Uruguay players storm the pitch and surround the ref and some Dutch players. Uruguay, just go home already. I mean, really. Yes, we all know we all would have batted the game-winning shot off the line like Suarez did, and everyone please stop moaning about that being cheating or whatever, but at the final whistle, the game is over. Freaking out at the referee as the sprinklers come on just makes you look petty. The Dutch don’t care, they are through to the final. Uruguay looked strong all night but just couldn’t get the ball up to Forlan often enough. The Netherland team have now booked their third final. Will this side be able to achieve what no other Dutch side managed, even the ones with the living legend Johann Cruyff in them? Holland has now won all 7 matches in this tournament but they have not impressed in any of them. If Germany beat Spain, Holland will surely be torn to pieces by the Germans in the final, and so the Holland fans will be cheering on Spain in the other semi-final. Neither Holland nor Spain has had a great match yet, and both sides stuttering to life against each other would be a more even encounter. Holland will go into the final against either Germany or Spain as the decided underdog.

World Cup Semi-Final Preview: Europa Uber Alles

Four teams now stand poised on the brink of World Cup glory: Spain, Germany, Holland, and Uruguay. Winning the ultimate prize in world football would represent something magnificent for each of those countries, but with varying degrees of breathless wonder.

Urugay vs. Netherlands, July 6.
Germany vs. Spain, July 7.

Germany (as West Germany) has won the World Cup thrice, in 1954 in a final against Hungary, in 1974 against Holland, and in 1990 against Argentina. A win for Germany would be their first as a unified nation, and would represent a new chapter, or, rather, a closing of the old. Former talismanic captain Michael Ballack has had to sit out this entire finals, and that is probably the best thing that could have happened to the young German side. While Ballack would bring a wealth of experience to the table, based on his silverware picked up in the employ of Bayern Munich and then of Chelsea, that experience would be certainly counter-weighted by his plodding pace, tendency to pass backwards, and an overly cautious approach drilled into him by former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho. One thing this World Cup has emphatically proven is that a reliance on senior stars is a recipe for an early exit. Germany’s young stars don’t need granddad telling them how it is; they are seeing it for themselves, learning to trust each other on the pitch and having a rampantly joyous time. Ballack’s anti-football he has been playing at Chelsea is anathema to the current crop of high-flyers. When they face Spain on Wednesday, expect to once again see a collection of individual stars (Spain) get comprehensively played off the park by a ruthless and fleet team (Germany).

Uruguay won the first-ever World Cup, and were the host nations in 1930. The format of course was different then, and only 8 teams competed in the finals. After back-to-back Brazil wins, the World Cup took a time-out for the world to have a gigantic war. Resuming service in 1950, Uruguay again won, this time in Brazil, in a round robin tournament that has subsequently been rejected in favor of a proper “final.” For star man Diego Forlan, he leads a side that has forever languished in the long shadows of those victories. The Uruguayans know their country can win the World Cup and for 60 years have waited for their boys to bring it home. Bookmakers are giving long odds on Uruguay making it to the final, and it’s easy to see why: it took an astonishing handball off the line and then a missed penalty to save Uruguay’s bacon long enough for Ghana to choke in the penalty kicks. There is scraping by on the skin of one’s teeth, and then there is scraping by and leaving an entire pile of flesh behind and a naked skeleton on the other side. Uruguay will feel they are living on borrowed time anyway in the next match and hopefully will play with a carefree attacking style. It might also allow for Holland to, at long last, turn on the style. Uruguay vs. Netherlands will be a contrast in styles, but expect the Oranjemen to comfortably win this one.

Holland and Spain are both underachievers, with Holland perhaps being the more schizophrenic side. The Dutch failed to qualify for the finals in 6 consecutive World Cups (1950-1970) and then appeared in back-to-back finals, losing both. The Dutch momentum was lost again, and they failed to qualify for the next two Cups (1982, 1986). From about 1988 onwards the Dutch have more or less cemented their place as one of the best sides, if not in the world, then at least in Europe, where they have enjoyed better luck in the European Championships (which is basically the same idea as the World Cup, just limited to Europe). The current side has shied away from the concept of Total Football (all players being essentially interchangeable, all attacking and defending together as a unit) in favor of tactical acuity and killer short passing. One of the standout players of this tournament has been the diminutive midfielder Wesley Sneijder, whose bald pate gave the Dutch the go-ahead goal in their match against Brazil. His teammates like Robin Van Persie, Arjen Robben, Rafael Van Der Vaart, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, and Dirk Kuyt are leading playmakers in their European club sides, and only just considered outside the world’s absolute best footballers. A World Cup win would do a lot to reimagine their worth in the eyes of world soccer.

Spain entered this World Cup as either “the favorite” or “one of” the favorites, and getting to the last four has at least vindicated the latter prediction. After winning the 2008 Euros, Spain were considered to be head and shoulders above the rest of Europe, and looked forward to this World Cup as an unstoppable march to the winners’ podium. Last year in South Africa, this same Spanish side was humiliated by a 2-0 thumping by the USA. Suddenly it appeared the emperor had no clothes. How could a gang of so-called journeyman Americans dump the star-studded Spaniards out? Indeed, that’s the question of the hour for Uruguay, and one would assume they have been assiduously studying the match tapes from that day of ignominy. Fernando Torres was completely ineffective against the muscular and disciplined USA defense, and so has he proven to be in the World Cup. His arrival in Liverpool heralded a rich vein of scoring for his club, becoming championed as one of the greatest finishers in the world, but for his national side he has been so anonymous as to have been withdrawn after an hour against Paraguay. Spain still boasts talent like Iniesta, Xavi, and David Villa, so all is not lost, but for as much firepower and starpower as this Spanish team is loaded (or burdened) with, they really need to turn it on in this Cup. So far the Spain games have been lackluster and barely adequate, which is eerily reminiscent of Italy’s campaign in the 2006 World Cup.

Barring some more unpredictable madness that has featured so heavily thus far in this tournament, expect a Holland vs. Germany final. One can’t gird against handball saves, missed penalties, unspotted legitimate goals, and sudden star-making matches, so there is plenty of drama left in the final 4 matches of this amazing World Cup.

God, Cocaine, and Handballs: World Cup Quarterfinal Recap Germany vs Argentina

It takes more than god, cocaine, and undetected handballs to win a World Cup, at least in 2010. The young, ruthlessly efficient German team delivered a wholesale beatdown to Diego Maradona’s Argentina, and exposed the self-besotted leprechaun as a complete clown. It may be true that Maradona practically won the 1986 World Cup singlehandedly, as a manager it has been conclusively proven he’s strictly Sunday-side level.

Maradona was coasting on the ability of his front line, while praying that his star player, Lionel Messi, would finally wake up and have a dominant World Cup match. But the signs were there, even in qualifying, that Maradona’s chosen team was lacking in steel where it mattered. He left the impeccable Cambiosso and Zanetti out of the side and brought the gibbering idiot Javier Mascherano in their stead, electing to have only one player hold and anchor the midfield. Germany’s 4 goals today proved how great a strategy this turned out to be. In fact, Mascherano spent the majority of the match running around snapping at ankles, his lips peeled back to expose every tooth like an enraged chimpanzee, and was again fortunate to not pick up a spate of yellow cards for his “robust” challenges.

It’s hard to muster much, if any, sympathy for Maradona or his side. A few weeks ago, it was Maradona who peevishly insulted the game’s greatest legend, Pele. Pele! Second, Maradona said that god himself wanted Argentina to win this World Cup, and they would not need a “hand of God” goal, referencing his own infamous handball that won Argentina the World Cup. Evidently Maradona did not see what claiming god for their own did to the Algeria, Brazil, and Ghana sides. Maradona had no mention of the mounds of cocaine he later admitted using in the 86 World Cup, and whether or not his young charges would do well to hoover up some inspiration in likewise fashion. Next, Maradona sulked at a press conference because he was asked to share the stage with Germany’s Thomas Müller, and called the 20 year old striker “a ball boy.” So when Müller scored Germany’s first goal in the 3rd minute, it was a perfect riposte.

At the break, the Argentina was only down 1-0, and maybe Germany was feeling a little apprehensive, knowing a pep-talked Messi, Tevez, Higuain, and DiMaria were probably raring to have at them. If there were German nerves, they disappeared rather quickly, as Carlos Tevez again did his best to portray a headless chicken in a blue and white football top. No one can fault Tevez’s industry, but if only the footballing gods had thought to give Tevez even the slightest amount of brain, then he’d really be a threat. Tevez wasn’t the only one to fail to bring to life World Footballer of the Year Leonel Messi, who was playing close to the strikers hoping for some linkup play. Messi was starved of the ball, and when any of his forwards got into the final third, they were more wont to have a 30 yard crack at goal instead of looking for a good through-ball to set up a teammate.

Germany, by contrast, were a team, and attacked and defended as a unit, in a reminder of what the Dutch termed Total Football. The real story was of the midfield masterclass taught by Bastian Schweinsteiger. He and Sami Khedira were always showing for the ball, always moving into space, taking the pressure off the flanks, and always looking to change the point of attack around the hapless Argentinians. Miroslav Klose, Mesut Özil, and Thomas Müller exposed the Argentine defense as undisciplined, flatfooted, and slow, time and time again. So keen were the Germans to look to play in a teammate, that Klose’s second goal was literally walked into the net with no Argentine within two yards of him. Lukas Podolski calmly dwelt on the ball in the penalty area, after driving to the by-line, and fed Klose a pinpoint accurate pass for Germany’s 2nd.

Argentina switched tactics at this point, and decided to spend most of their energy whingeing at the refs on obvious offside calls, holding their hands up begging for yellow cards to be issued on tackles where they weren’t even fouled, and in general behaving like a bunch of spoilt and indulged prima donnas. Meanwhile, Germany were loving every minute. For a few minutes it looked like Gabby Heinze or Javier Mascherano might snap someone’s leg, in an effort to drag Argentina back into the game, and Germany dropped off to defend and play counter-attacking football. This storm lasted maybe 10 minutes, and then the Germans decided it was time to finish off the Gaucho poseurs.

Maradona basically threw all his cards in the air at this point, and sacrificed a defender for an attacking substitution, giving Argentina now 4 out and out goal scorers. The German coach, Joachim Löw, must have thought it was his birthday, after his side has beaten the Argentines on the outside all afternoon, suddenly now his opponents switched to a 3 man back line, giving even more joy to the marauding work of Schweinsteiger. Germany added a 3rd goal from Schweinsteiger dribbling through five players and setting up Friedrich for a smooth finish. At seeing themselves losing 3-0, the Argentines were boiling over and a few tackles threatened to qualify as actual physical assault. No matter, the Germans calmly put the South Americans to the sword with a 4th goal, Podolski crossing for Klose to volley into the goal.

The 4-0 scoreline was hardly flattering to the Germans, who outclassed the Argentinians in every department. Messi joined the ranks of Rooney, Ronaldo, Drogba, Kaka, Cannavaro, Torres, and Robinho as big name flops at this World Cup. Now Argentina’s dream is in tatters, and maybe with the dawn they will realize that a solo performer like Maradona is not the talent needed to coach an actual team. For that, get a notepad and take notes on Joachim Löw. Germany will now face Spain on July 7th, and based on both sides’ recent performances, Germany looks unstoppable.

Jesus Hates Brazil: Netherlands Advance to Semi Finals

Two things we learned, at least, from the Holland vs. Brazil match today, is that Jesus hates Brazil, and it’s always important to stay Melo. Brazil’s Kaka is the world’s most expensive striker and was expected to be one of the stars of this World Cup. Known for praying on the pitch after the 2002 World Cup win, and for revealing messages like “I belong to Jesus” on his t-shirts beneath his team jersey after scoring, apparently Jesus’ infatuation with Brazilian soccer is at an end.

The first half saw a rampant Brazilian side slicing through the bewildered Dutch defense with almost comical ease. Robinho’s goal in the 10th minute came from a clever ball played between the center backs, right up the middle down Route One, with Robinho ghosting past whoever was marking him (it still remains unclear) and delicately stroking the ball past the hesitant Steleneburg. We saw both sides of the Robinho coin in this match, with his lightning-fast runs and silky touches on the ball, and also with his whingeing and moaning at the referee, asking for yellow cards to be issues, and screaming obscenities in the faces of his Dutch opponents.

Robinho was not the only Samba Boy having a bit of fun with the idea of sportsmanship. Defender Juan could have gifted Holland a penalty in the first minute when he thumped an elbow into Robin Van Persie’s back to shove him off the end of a Dirk Kuty cross. Michel Bastos evidently thought the game was to see how many times you could kick Arjen Robben in the heels. The answer was about 8, before Bastos had his name taken by the referee. Robben took over the theatrics at this point, and turned in a dazzling display of flopping to the grass under the slightest of touches, some of those touches being so slight as to not have happened at all.

While the acting Oscars are still undecided, Holland emerged a 2-1 winner, after going in at the break 1-nil down. Wesley Sneijder swung in a free kick from the right flank and Melo rose just enough to block his keeper from punching clear, the ball taking a deflection off his shoulder and into the net for Holland’s equaliser. Robben was the creator of the 2nd goal, with a dangerously curved ball to the near post, which was flicked on by Kuyt, and then headed in by the impressive Sneijder. Melo, still stinging from the own-goal, was not ready to give up being the pantomime villain. Around the 72nd minute, Melo decided he’d had enough of Robben taking naps on the grass, and gave him a wake-up stamp on the thigh. The referee took a dim view and gave Melo his marching orders. The Brazilians capitulated at this point, and never looked like getting back into the game. The Dutch passed their way out of the closing minutes of the game and emerged the winners.

Holland will face the winners of the Uruguay vs. Ghana match on July 6.

And Then There Were 8: 2010 World Cup Quarterfinal Preview

Today is a day for rest and reflection. The World Cup has entered its deadly serious phase, with 8 teams left standing: Paraguay, Ghana, Uruguay, Spain, Argentina, Holland, Germany, and Brazil, in rough order of their chances of succeeding.

On July 2nd, Holland faces Brazil, and Uruguay faces Ghana. The first match should prove to be a splendour to behold for one and all, and hopefully will erase from memory the guileless borefest offered up by Spain and Portugal. The Dutch masters play an exciting, penetrating football style which will match up well against the soul expression of the Brazilians. Brazil manager Dunga intentionally picked a side that could deliver a bit more practicality when it matters, and that’s likely why flair player Ronaldhino was left out, despite featuring in the Nike “Write The Future” ad campaign, to everyone’s chagrin.

The remaining 8 teams can count themselves lucky that none of their erstwhile “star” players participated in the multi-million dollar Nike ad campaign preceding this World Cup, as Nike’s curse was made complete following Portugal’s tame exit. Cristiano Ronaldo was the last man standing out of the featured stars, which included Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba, Ronaldhino (who was not even picked for the Brazil team), and Fabio Cannavaro. Instead of “Write the Future,” Nike’s campaign next time might be more helpfully worded, “let the future happen and then crow about it.”

On July 3rd, Germany take on Argentina, and Paraguay face Spain. The Germans will be watching highlight reels of the Argentinian strikeforce consisting of Real Madrid’s Higuain, Manchester City’s Carlos Tevez, and Inter Milan’s Diego Milito, not to mention the world’s best player, Leonel Messi. The sheer abundance of talent on offer in the Argentine side is almost unfair. But it is a game where style and flair count for nothing if the ball doesn’t land in the net, and Argentina should do well to remember that the Germans possess a stout and resolute defense, and are more than capable of slicing their way through the Argentine back four, with attacks likely focusing on Gabriel Heinze in the left back position. It should be a glittering encounter.

Paraguay vs. Spain is notable only for the offer of busty Paraguayan model Larissa Riquelme to run naked through the streets clad only in her love of Paraguay, should they win the World Cup. Spain had better come up with something other than an extremely limited attacking plan spearheaded by the malfunctioning Fernando Torres, and his new short-cropped hair that has apparently robbed him of his exquisite touch, in much the same way as Samson was emasculated by the barbering of Delilah.