The Coward’s Guide to Picking Up Girls

Does the thought of asking a girl out on a date make you sweat in a non-sexual related way? If so, you are likely a coward. Don’t take it personally; the sad fact is that most of us guys are incredibly awkward when it comes to approaching girls (unless your name is Rico).

Luckily, with a little practice, know-how and confidence, even a gargoyle like Larry King can pick up a girl way out of our league (tip #1: money helps). Here are some more tips:

Step 1: Get Over the Fear of Rejection

Many of us talk ourselves out of approaching a girl because we keep thinking, “what if she says no?” Sure, the fear of rejection can be unbearable, but so is the idea of you and your hand spending another night alone. Instead, a better question to ask yourself is, “what’s the worst that could happen?” The answer, of course, is that she says no, but is that really such a bad thing? It may sting the ego a bit, but unless this is a close friend you’re trying to bone, you’re likely never going to see this girl again. So, who cares? Besides, she probably has herpes anyway.

Step 2: Build Your Confidence

Let me say this clearly – confidence is the MOST IMPORTANT thing when it comes to picking up girls. You don’t need a chiseled jaw. You don’t need an Ed Hardy t-shirt. You don’t even need Axe Body Spray. Girls find confidence (note: not arrogance) extremely sexy. Unfortunately, if you’re a coward, then confidence is something you likely lack. If so, then perhaps I can suggest a tactic that worked for me: hit on ugly girls.

That’s right, if you hit on a girl that you are 100 percent not attracted to, then it takes all the anxiety and stress out of the situation. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to have sex with an ugly girl. Your goal should be getting her phone number for the sheer purpose of boosting your confidence and practicing your technique. Once acquired, immediately throw the number away and go hit on her more attractive friend.

Step 3: Don’t Go to Bars

Bars have a few things going for them. For one, the girls are drunk. For two, the low lighting hinders the girl’s ability to see your face, which may work in your favor. However, this is where the professionals go to pick up girls. You don’t want to compete with them. Instead, choose a place where you feel comfortable hanging out. This goes along with the confidence business. A coffee shop or bookstore may be a good option. An elementary school, however, is not suggested as a good option for picking up girls.

Step 4: Initiate a Conversation

Starting a conversation with a girl is often the hardest part. A good way to do this is to find a genuine, non-creepy way to compliment the girl. This generally means steering clear of physical appearance. Sure, you may love her boobs, but it’s generally a better idea to compliment the shirt that’s covering them. As such, clothing is a great thing to compliment.

Alternatively, you can start a conversation by asking a question. If you’re at a bookstore you can ask the girl about a particular book she’s reading. Other situation-relevant examples include, “Have you ever had the muffins here,” “Where did you find that [item in her hand]” and “Is that powdered sugar on your chin” (see Step 2).

Step 5: Keep Her Talking

Once you’ve got the conversation started, it’s easy to keep it going. The key is to keep asking question about the girl’s interests. This works because girls LOVE talking about themselves. If the girl isn’t completely repulsed by you, she’ll likely go on and on about shopping, hair and romantic comedies for hours. If she asks questions about yourself, go ahead and answer them. However, keep the details to a minimum. You don’t want her knowing the real you until after you’ve seen her naked.

Step 6: Seal the Deal

If the girl has been talking to you for a few minutes and she has seemed relatively interested (she’s smiling a lot, leaning in to listen, etc.), then it’s time to reel in the fish. You can straight up ask her for her number or ask if she’d like to have sex go out some time. Or, a better way may be to tie the proposition into your previous conversation. Examples: “You like Judd Apatow movies too? Want to go see one with me sometime?” “Thai food is awesome. There’s a great place right around the corner. If you’d like, I could take you there sometime.” “No way! I like vaginas too. Can I see yours sometime?”

If you’re lucky, she’ll say yes and you’ve succeeded in picking up a girl. If she says no, go home and cry in your room for a while. Then go back out and try again. Don’t get discouraged, the more you try, the better you’ll get and the better your odds will improve. Keep at it, and eventually those nights spent at home alone with your hand will be a thing of the past.

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I go to the public library sometimes to use the free Internet. So does a guy that likes to watch porn. There I am, checking my email and whatnot, when all of a sudden I glance over to a face full of ass and balls. It doesn’t really bother me – I visit PrettyFatAndNaked.com all the time. However, unlike this guy, I have a healthy amount of shame that prohibits me from doing so in public. If you’re a normal guy like me (and I use the term loosely), you don’t like people finding out about your porn habits.

Unlike some of my friends, I’ve never been caught with my pants down. They claim I’m lucky, but luck has nothing to do with. I have system, and after you read this article, you will too. Here’s how to watch Internet porn and not get caught: Read more

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