Top Five MacGyver Tricks that Could Save Your Life!
April 6, 2010 by oliviaking
Anyone who’s anyone knows of the legendary MacGyver, who could make something out of nothing in order to save his life. The show started in 1985, presenting the world with ways to escape from any situation (no matter what it was). Well here’s my top ten tricks MacGyver used that could save your life. Listen carefully kiddies!
THE TRICK: MacGyver plugs a sulfuric acid leak with chocolate.
THE THEORY: This theory was tested by Myth Busters and proven correct! This acid reacts with the sugars in the chocolate to form a thick gummy substance, suitable for plugging a hole. Hell, I don’t really understand anything except that’s one hell of a cool trick!
Of course, what are the chances that you are stuck near a leaking sulfuric acid tank with nothing but a chocolate bar? Very slim, unless your MacGyver!
THE TRICK: MacGyver rigs a pair of dice by filing some of the edges so that the chance of rolling
a ’5′ increases. Okay, so not gonna save your life, but still sneaky!
THE THEORY: By filing down the edges, it makes it easier for the dice to continue to roll. This trick
is more discrete than loaded dice, but does involve you bringing your own dice (or nail file) to the table, which is the tricky part of this one!
THE TRICK: MacGyver pours water in the crack of a large boulder and then uses a fire extinguisher to freeze the water, which splits the rock, causing it to fall onto the vehicle below, destroying it. Again, probably not that useful, unless you carry a fire extinguisher with you but good to remember next time your fighting those bad guys!
THE THEORY: If you’ve ever put a drink bottle in the freezer, you’ll realize that, when frozen, water expands. This is a naturally occurring phenomenon in nature especially in colder climates. Using a fire extinguisher to snap freeze the water, you can force open the crack in the rock, and let gravity do the rest!
THE TRICK: To stop the police following him, MacGyver blocks the exhaust pipe of their car with a potato, which stalls the engine. And I’m not responsible if you get arrested for this one!
THE THEORY: This theory is easy. Plug a hole and eventually, the build up of force in the engine causes it to stall, and the potato to go flying. I knew Mr Potato Head was more than just a toy!
THE TRICK: MacGyver uses his Swiss army knife, for everything. GET ONE. It will save your life. Or at least make you look cool.
THE THEORY: Swiss Army Knives contain all those handy things you might just need to save your life. Invest in a good quality one to save replacing it every time is breaks. Hell, if MacGyver owns one, it’s gotta be good!
Top 5 Reasons the Author of Twilight Should be Sued (or Beat Down)
February 26, 2010 by oliviaking
When it comes to bad books, Twilight takes the cake. Here’s my top five reasons why someone should sue Stephanie Meyer. And fast!
Number 5: Sparkly Vampires
Dracula has rolled over in his coffin.
Edward brings shame to the game.
In Twilight, the Vampires only weakness (since they are super fast, have super strength and cannot be killed by us mere mortals) is sunlight, but not because they burst into flames, but because they sparkle in the sun. Like diamonds. Any real vampire fan would be filled with disgust. Not only do we have to say goodbye to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but we can’t even run into the sunlight for protection. What is the world coming to? We’re all going to feel the wrath of the Twilight Vampires!
Number 4: Edwards Looks Ad Nauseum
There are over 160 references to Edwards beauty (even to his breath. Ewww Please!) in the first Twilight movie alone.
I don’t know about you, but a scrawny, paste-y white boy with bad hair and a face like a fish is not attractive. Gone are the days when Blade and Spike where the vampire heart throbs. Prepare yourself boys, your about to be replaced with the most pathetic excuse for a vampire ever, ( as if sparkling wasn’t gay enough. Vampire Sparkle . . .Sheesh.) A word of advice, if your other half is a Twi-Hard, dump her. Because you’ll never be as great as Edward and lets face it, if she thinks stalking is romantic, there is something wrong with her. Phoey on her for ruining relationships worldwide with beating into young girls heads that this lame, tame, 8 year old frame tool is hot. Twilight sucks – pass it on.
Number 3: Destroying the classic and fearsome reputation of Vampires with nonsense, and teen angst.
I may be a girl, but I love nothing more than blood and guts. I don’t want long stares into eyes unless they’re followed with a massive bite to the jugular and spurting blood everywhere. I want bloody bodies and Dracula! Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I want sexy and seductive, and deadly. Most vampire films showed Vampires as powerful and seductive, able to woo the opposite sex into giving up their blood. Now-a-days, girls think vampires are romantic and sweet, and would make the perfect boyfriend. Disturbing right? Next thing Zombies will be sexy and cute. I think I’m going to be sick.
What? No Late Night Rub & Tugs?
Number 2: No Sex in The Champagne Room.
Any decent vampire film at least hints at giant vampire orgies. Blade. Bram Stoker’s Dracula. If you’re dead and sexy, why not? In Twilight, even kissing seems like a taboo action (that in the film is accompanied by moans and groans, making for an awkward few minutes). It’s like watching Priest without any supple young boys around. If Edward had been sexless for 107 years, there is something wrong (Plus I’ve heard that’s very dangerous for a guy. In fact I once had to – wait that’s a story for another time.) You know I’m right boys. Could you go 107 years without sex? Personally, I try not to let 4 hours pass. If only we could start a class action suit for lack of Vampire sex – we’d all be rich!
Number 1: Stolen plot lines.
Now this is the big one.
The novels ‘The Southern Vampire Mysteries’ (which the TV series True Blood was based on), a mind reading mortal named “Sookie” (Not to be confused with the girl that can’t read Dr. Suess “Snookie”) falls in love with a vampire whose mind she cannot read (and his abs which he named “The Situation” -j/k.)
In Twilight, a mind reading vampire called Edward falls in love with a girl, who’s mind he cannot read.
Both of them are ‘forbidden romances’, containing your ordinary girl getting the sexy untouchable guy. Really. What are the chances of two vampire novels containing mind reader who fall for those who’s minds they can’t read? Pretty damn slim.
SUE!
P.S. The Southern Vampire Mysteries was published in 2001, four years before Stephanie Meyers Twilight was published. Definitely sue worthy!
10 Useless Gadgets You Absolutely Must Have
February 25, 2010 by oliviaking
Actually pretty useful . . .just not available
When it comes to gadgets, the net is crawling with them. Some of them are generally useful while some just make you think WTF. A few of those WTF gadgets are so useless that they’d be awesomely cool to own. So, I complied a list of the top ten useless gadgets that we absolutely must have to get through another day on this planet. If you really do want buy any of these, just click on the links to go directly to the e-store.
. . .Because you couldn’t just check out girls on youtube like everyone else, or because you have a secret fetish for plastic dolls (action figures in Man Speak.) Either way, You’ll really “Rise and shine” to this entertaining alarm clock. A pole dancer twirls around the pole to music and flashing lights. What a way to wake up . . .of course there is one thing better involving a Dancer and Waking up, but that costs a hell of a lot more than this does! features a back lit LCD display and snooze feature. Requires 3 AA batteries (not included), and a strong pimp hand so your girl doesn’t throw it out. Collections Etc. $19.99
fun!
Crank up the old-time atmosphere! It may look like it’s over a century old but this fully functional phone plugs into any standard phone jack and is thoroughly modern in every way. The rotary dial numbers are actually convenient touch tone buttons. Ring volume, ring pulse and voice volume controls. Phone cord included. Some assembly required. 18 1/2″H x 9 1/2″W x 6 3/4″D. Collections Etc. $29.99
Retro Phone Cell Phone Headset
Yeah, we know all about those bluetooth headsets for cell phones, but forget that stuff! We have here the latest development in cell phone technology and it’s a big hunk of beautiful plastic. An accessory for your phone that you can really grab onto. Something with heft and that good-old-American solid construction feel – like a 1972 Cadillac.
The Retro Phone Handset is a new production replica of the Western Electric 500-series model, which was the classic phone handset for several decades. It’s been slightly modified to work with the headset jack of most cell phones (or via a “hands free” adapter kit, sold elsewhere). Just plug-in and dial – or for added effect, put your cell phone in your pant’s pocket – then it looks like you’re talking on a phone connected to… well, who knows? Think Geek, $30
Nothing screams man like a 18 inches . . .of beer. The staple of the traditional British pub, the half yard glass makes a great bar decoration. It comes with a matching wooden stand but don”t leave it on display all the time it”s fun to drink from, too! It holds about 24-oz. of beer. The stand has a plaque that reads “Man of the House”. Glass is dishwasher safe. 16 3/4″H. Collections Etc$19.99
Or for the high rollers, get this legit limited edition Waterford Crystal 8 1/2″ glass stein, or any of their sweet steins for that matter, from our friends at Budweiser. Budshop.com $199.99
Leopard Print Snuggie Wearable Blanket
The Snuggie keeps you totally warm & gives you the freedom to use your hands. Snuggie™ is made with super soft, thick, luxurious fleece with roomy, over-sized sleeves. Includes a free booklight (as if anyone that actually knew how to read would use this thing), perfect for reading in . . .er . . . a dimly lit room while wearing a shirt blanket thing, I guess. One size fits most. Machine wash polyester fleece. Imported. 54″ x 71″. CollectionsEtc. $14.99
It’s a bracelet, that is actually rope. Except this baby has at least 14′ of 550lb test paracord in case of emergencies. Awesome. Setting you back just $20, this magical rope is great for those impromptu rock climbs or jump roping, or (according to ThinkGeek) saving that sexy damsel in distress while your out boating. ThinkGeek, $19.99
To help keep those shots cool, invest in these awesome ice molds, in the form of shot glasses. Making four at a time, these 2oz shot glasses are perfect for parties, if they break, hell, toss ‘em in the sink and make some more!
WARNING: ThinkGeek would like to remind everyone to please not drink and perform Calculus. Remember, friends don’t let friends derive drunk. Bad joke, I know. ThinkGeek, $7.99
This awesome interactive tee is sure too impress (as long as you can actually play guitar). This tee comes with a mini amp to help you bust out those face melting solos to those hot chicks at the bar. Able to play all the major chords, gather your mates and start your own tee band! ThinkGeek, $29.99
Meet Harry. Harry is a bunch of metal that bends around you gadgets to hold them.And since guys are known for their ability to lose things (such as the tv remote and your girlfriends bag she asked you to hold while she tried on clothes), Harry is a good investment. ThinkGeek, $24.99
This baby is the mother of all gadgets. In order to arm the Device, you first need to activate switch one. Then, you need to activate switch two. Then (and stay with us here, because this is where it gets a little crazy), you need to activate switch three. Once all three switches are turned on (in order) the Main light will glow red. This means the Device is armed and very dangerous. And yes, it gets better. Press the big red button and the world explodes it makes a honking noise. Oh, and its a 4 port USB hub. WIN. ThinkGeek, $49.99
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