Kate Upton Is Your 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Model [60 PHOTOS]

Call us Nostradamus,  because we called it yet again. Kate Upton is your cover model for the 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. The folks at SI would be hard pressed to deny Kate the cover, seeing as she’s captivated us with each and every single thing she does – whether it’s simply strolling down a runway or emerging from a pool. With this notch on her non-existent belt, the 19 year old appears poised to become one of the top supermodels of all-time and she can’t even legally drink yet. Damn. We sent Steve down to the scene of the cover’s unveiling outside the Ed Sullivan Theater in NYC to snap some pics. Check ‘em out along with Kate’s hottest pics from the past year below. (close-up photo of the cover via BarstoolSports)

Kate goes Into the (Deep) Blue

Kate’s Twitpics are titilatting

The First “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter” Trailer Has Arrived

Growing up, I never really questioned what I learned in school. If I did, I usually received a healthy dose of ‘shut the f*ck up’. So I went through my years in the classroom blindly accepting what was thrown my way – more concerned about getting good grades than actually learning what happened. What does this have to do with the first trailer for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter? Well, I have this feeling that if we keep pumping out fictional stories about non-fictional figures, as time wears on, more and more people will just blindly accept them as factual tales. Not in like 5 years or maybe even my lifetime, but hundreds of years from now. But we’ll all be dead, so who gives a sh*t. After seeing this and FDR American Badass – why not roll out a whole presidential super action heroes series? Btw, didn’t see ONE vampire in this entire trailer – did I miss something? And the part at the end where he f*cking obliterates a tree with an ax? That’s like “300″ on steroids. And is that Johnny Cash narrating? Wtf.

The Monday Stumble: Kick a Ginger Day, Disney’s Last Words, Dad of the Year [PHOTOS]

No matter how positive you are, Mondays blow goats. No matter what you do, you just can’t get motivated to do anything productive. You’re literally and figuratively stumbling around, unfocused and aimless. Well, let us make your Monday productivity even worse! The Monday Stumble is when we take to StumbleUpon to stumble upon a bunch of random wtf photos. This week we’ve got a great gallery featuring every character featured on Futurama ever, Louis CK explaining the difference between boys and girls, a subway passenger who love to knit, a giant pin toy, and a house that will suck you in.

SOURCE LINKS 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

The 24 Biggest ‘Best New Artist’ Snubs in Grammy History

Best New Artist is one of those awards that can be hit or miss. It reminds me of our Emerging Hotties list – you stack your chips on the person you think is gonna break out big time and cross your fingers. I remember last year Beliebers almost rioted and murdered Esperanza Spalding when she won the award over Biebs. This year, Bon Iver took the hardware home over bootylicious Nicki Minaj who didn’t look too pleased about it. She went on to take out her frustrations on our eyes and ears with what many are calling the most seizure-inducing, horrifying performance in Grammy history. So, I decided to take a look at past Best New Artist snubs and was surprised at some of the big time names that walked away empty handed. Check out the list and let me know if I forgot anyone in the comments.

initiating the gallery...

SOURCE: Wikipedia, Grammy.com

Kate Upton in Esquire vs. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Vs [PHOTOS, POLL]

Some are suggesting that because Kate’s on the cover of Esquire‘s March issue she won’t get the SI Swimsuit cover even though she’s the frontrunner. I didn’t know there was this anti-monopoly legislation that says Kate can’t dominate more than 1 cover per month. Anyway, while we’re clearly all about Kate, we haven’t covered Rosie since she wore next to nothing for the German Vogue. Then she comes out guns blazing with this shoot for Vs Magazine. So, we thought put a lil pep in your step on this lazy Sunday with a supermodel showdown. Check out their pics and vote in our poll at the bottom.

Kate Upton in Esquire

CLICK HERE FOR MORE OF KATE

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Vs

16 Things #GirlsShould Do According To Twitter

In late January, #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile was trending on Twitter so we put together a list for the ages. We imagine the majority of girls did NOT flash them pearls after reading it, but the ones that did should give us a call. Today, it appears #GirlsShould is trending so we thought we’d throw our 2 cents into the mix based off the top images from that hashtag. Follow these guidelines and you’ll be A-list VIP in our hearts and our pants.

initiating the gallery...

FOX News Facemelter Kimberly Guilfoyle Loves To Get Spanked [VIDEO]

So, I’m chillin’ on the couch nursing the well deserved hangover I acquired getting over-served at our Trashy Spring Break party at Otto’s Shrunken Head last night. My roommate comes in and puts on FOX News to watch “The Five“. We both acknowledge how f*cking hot the women are on the network then we see Greg Gutfeld ask Kim if she spanks her son and if she’s ever been spanked. Both of us sat up a little and her answer definitely took us from six to midnight. Given her answer we’re SHOCKED no one called her out or followed up on it. It’s just par for the course, status quo over there at FOX News – grown ass hot chicks just gettin’ some S&M done in the break room.

For more of Kimberly, check out her Facebook | Twitter | Official Site

Video is ©2012 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved. Watch the full segment at FOX News.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Vs Magazine 2012 Photo Gallery

Frat Dude Demonstrates T F’n at the AVN Expo [VIDEO]

I wanted to title this “Frat dude chugs big c*** at the AVN Expo” (you’ll see why) but knowing my luck that’s when friggin’ Coca-Cola or Ford or Verizon will randomly decide to check out our site to see if they should spend dolla dolla bills with us. You may remember a couple weeks ago, J-Train the Frat Dude wrecked the red carpet and possibly got raped by Chyna. This time he’s at the AVN Expo where he tests out a few provocative products, meets Jesse Jane’s biggest fan, and TFs some heavyset porn star. She gives me the weirdest ‘rection. Bee tee dubs, I got the chance to see Jared do stand up and the guy murdered. He’ll be on Comedy Central by the end of the year.

Follow Jared on Twitter. Produced by Slugriders Productions. Music by Luis Almau.

And here are some twitpics from the AVNs in case you didn’t see ‘em the first time ’round…

Agent Provocateur Lingerie Will Land You a Three-Way [VIDEO, PHOTOS]

Victoria’s Secret is the better known lingerie brand and they have a knack for turning up the heat, but I don’t think they’re in the same league as Agent Provocateur when it comes to boner-inducing ads. We named one of their promotions featuring former Boardwalk Empire star Paz de la Huerta to our list of Sexiest Ads from 2011 and this effort featuring an Arianny Celeste look-a-like and a Lindsay Ellingson-esque chick taking down a dude (via AdRants) is sure to be on our end of the year list come December/January. Once you’ve sedated your lil’ fella, check out some of the company’s models in our grand ol’ gallery.

Check out Agent Provocateur’s official website | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube

Jessica Hart in Esquire vs. Nargis Fakhri in Maxim India [PHOTOS, POLL]

Esquire continues to crush the sexy photo shoot scene with their “Me In My Place” feature. This time they shine the spotlight on 25 year old Australian Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Jessica Hart. In the other corner of our showdown we have 32 year old Queens born model-actress Nargis Afkhari for Maxim India. The only other girl I know named Nargis was from high school and now I kinda wanna see her in a tight, form-fitting black dress. Nargis, call me. Check out their pics and vote in our poll at the bottom.

Jessica Hart in Esquire

Follow Jessica on Twitter and check out her official website.

Nargis Fakhri in Maxim India

Follow Nargis on Twitter and check out her official website.

SOURCE: Hot Celebs Home

Why Are People Buying Valentine’s Day Gifts For Their Pets? [INFOGRAPHIC]

We receive infographics from time to time and we always find some enlightening insight but this one takes the cake. Who the fudge is spending money on a Valentine’s Day gift(s) for their frickin’ pet? How f*cking lonely do you have to be? Is the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons real and is she skewing the numbers? I just can’t wrap my head around that one stat. If you think those people aren’t f*cking their pets, you have another thing comin’… ew… Click the graphic to see the full size.

SOURCE: OnlineMBA

Conan Would Approve of Lana Del Rey & Daniel Radcliffe’s Love Child [PHOTO]

Back when Conan was the host of Late Night, he had a hilarious skit called, “If They Mated” where he’d take pics of two celebs that are rumored to be (or are) hooking up and mesh them together to give us a horrid photo of the fugliest looking offspring. Why do I bring this up? Because after Lana Del Rey “bombed” on SNL, Daniel Radcliffe came to her defense. Then today, Daniel reiterated his support for Lana on “Watch What Happens Live” (as you can see from the embedded video). We think they should hook up and we’ve managed to travel forward in time to snap a pic of their grown @ss love child. We present to you… Danielana Del Raycliffe…

Freaky Friday: Madonna’s Tightrope Walker, Gary Busey MySpace, Macaulay Culkin Face [26 PHOTOS]

Last week, we showed you Mitt Romney controlling airplane chips with his mind, Daniel Radcliffe trollin’ woman in the black, Eli Manning and Nic Cage getting the wax figure treatment, Verne Troyer’s jazz hands. This week’s Freaky Friday features f*cked up figure skater faces, Insane Clown Posse’s lil sister, meat leggings, middle finger barbwire, final fantasy cosplay, and much much more. Begin your weekend with a whole lotta weird.

TWEET US YOUR FREAKIEST, MOST WTF PICS TO

@COEDMAGAZINE W/ #FREAKYFRIDAY