WTF News Wednesday: Chalk-ward, Side of Fangs, Dude Where Are My Organs?

Oy, Get My Face off Your Cigarettes

Representatives for English soccer (nope, not football) star John Terry are looking into taking legal action after a government anti-smoking ad placed on cigarette packs in India used a picture of Terry without consent.

The picture is an obvious image of the pro athlete, slightly blurred with smoke ravaged lungs drawn on and the caption “Smoking Kills.” While one Indian official from the Directorate of Visual Publicity said that the image was mistakenly used. Another official from the same agency came out and said that the image was an “artistic rendering” and “has got nothing to do with John Terry.” Besides the fact that one look will prove that it’s obviously a picture of the dude; he may have a point. Hopefully the Indian government fights the charge with the classic “nope, that’s not a picture of you” defense.

The Indian government must just have some teenager Google pictures to use as graphics because this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. One ad featured jets leaving a vapor trail in what was supposed to be India’s national colors of orange, white, and green but instead showed Italy’s national colors of red, white, and green. Also a state-issued textbook was recently recalled after an image of Jesus smoking a cigarette and holding a beer was found.

Compare the “artistic rendering” with actual pictures of Terry here and here.

Would You Like Fangs With That?

It seems like some criminals just don’t think things through before they commit their crime of choice. Leroy Ricks of Key West is one of those criminals.

On Tuesday evening, Ricks pulled up to a McDonald’s drive-thru window in the Conch Republic and handed the cashier a note that said “I got a gun. Give it up.” He drove away with over $1,900.

Ricks was in jail before night’s end because he made a couple of minor mistakes. He allowed workers to get a good look at him and, oh yeah, he used his own god damn car. But Ricks, wanted police to know that this was just a simple misunderstanding. He wouldn’t be that dumb.

He told police that he was forced to pull off the heist because a man with a star tattooed on his forehead and gold plated fangs made him do it. He said that the fanged man asked him for marijuana and he was going to take him to get some when he pulled a gun out and made him pull off the robbery. This brutal, fanged thug even had a picture of Ricks’ girlfriend and said that if he didn’t comply, he was going to kill her too. Then the conspicuous man ran off, never to be seen again. Ah, I’m sure that happens all the time.

Not that it needs to be said, but the police didn’t buy it and the mastermind was charged with robbery and grand theft. If you thought the part about $1900 being in a McDonald’s cash register sounded about as legit as the fanged assailant, then you were right again. The cashier was arrested on Thursday and given the same charges.

Jakadrien Turner with her parents. CREDIT: AP Photo - Mike Fuentes

Uh, Our Bad

A 15-year-old girl from Texas was returned to the U.S. on Friday after being mistakenly deported to Colombia in May.

The girl was a runaway and eventually landed in the custody of American authorities. After giving a fake name and having no identification, the girl was mistaken for a Colombian who was due to be deported.

This small mistake came to the attention of authorities and the girl was placed in protective custody in Bogota before finally being returned to her family.

While the girl, who became pregnant, was in Colombia, she posted pictures of herself partying and smoking weed on Facebook. Her family says that this was her way of reaching out to them…yeah, sure.

This Dude Loves His Orange Jumpsuit

After Jerry Valentino Aldama was released from the West Valley Detention Center in Rancho Cucamonga, California on Friday, it wasn’t long until he returned…seriously, like probably an hour.

For some reason, Aldama snuck his prison issued orange jumpsuit out of the facility and slipped it on before boarding a bus. This understandably alarmed the driver who proceeded to call the authorities. Aldama was sent right back to where he came from for theft. Maybe he thought it was a parting gift.

Organs in Vegas Stay in Vegas

The family of a British tourist who died during a trip to Las Vegas in 2005 accepted a $350,000 settlement this past week in a lawsuit stemming from the disappearance of the man’s organs.

The Londoner died after collapsing in a Las Vegas Strip casino from cocaine and alcohol poisoning while on vacation for a bachelor party. After being pronounced dead at the hospital, the man’s body was taken to the coroner for autopsy, then to a local funeral home. When the body was shipped to relatives in London, it was eventually discovered that, instead of internal organs, there was a rolled up bed sheet in the chest cavity. The organs were supposed to be removed and dissected during autopsy then placed back inside the body before it was returned as opposed to being misplaced like a cell phone

$50,000 of the settlement will come from Clark County and the remaining $300,000 from the funeral home’s insurance company; because organ disappearance was apparently covered in their policy. It is still unknown what happened to the man’s organs. It is also unconfirmed if someone left the bag of organs on top of their car like a drink and clumsily drove off with it still there (because we’ve all done that before).

Hop Scotch Is Illegal in Orlando

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that as of Friday, and Orlando man has been jailed since before Christmas for “writing or painting advertising matter on sidewalks.”

The “advertising material” in question included sayings like “Justice Equals Liberty.” The city has even stood behind their actions stating that chalk is clearly included in the code. Next they better stake out the playground so they can take more scum off the streets.

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5 of the Weirdest, WTF Hobbies for National Hobby Month

January is National Hobby Month. Baking, knitting, stamp collecting and other boring activities may come to mind when you think of hobbies. But there is something out there for everyone. And since most people are pretty damn weird, there are a lot of pretty damn weird hobbies for them to partake in. Of course there is the occasional belly button lint collector or necrophilia enthusiast (which is probably more common than you’d think) but you might be surprised at the hobbies that relatively large numbers of people enjoy.

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CHECK OUT THESE LANDSCAPES CARVED FROM BOOKS

BOOK CARVING PICS SOURCES: Buzzfeed, Visual News, Guy Laramee

The Women of Elvis Presley

Today, January 8^th, marks what would have been Elvis’ 77^th birthday if he hadn’t OD’d on the cr*pper. If you think his death was a huge dishonor to an otherwise pristine reputation; you need to hear about his track record, or lack thereof, with the ladies. Still known today as one of the most famous sex symbols ever, it may surprise you to know that The King seems to have left a legacy that would classify him as anything but a straight-up dawg when it came to women. Of course anyone labeled “The King” of anything, especially rock n’ roll, would have had his pick of any woman he chose. This makes Elvis seem even stranger for not doing more pelvic thrusts off stage.

Several beautiful women, many of whom were famous, were linked to Presley throughout his career and some of them claimed that Elvis was a beast in bed and was constantly laying it down. But these accounts seem to be in the minority considering most reports of Elvis’ sex life are less than flattering. Many of the bizarre statements made by his former “partners” and associates include that he was afraid of penetration, he had a foot fetish, he was a voyeur, he was bi-sexual, and even that he was a pedophile.

It is speculated that this odd sexual behavior was a combination of his deep religious guilt, an extreme love for his mother which led to a Madonna-whore complex (putting his mother up on a pedestal as a saint and thinking that all other women are whores), serious drug abuse, and a struggle with homosexuality. I wish I could tell you that The King was banging more starlets than The Rat Pack; but that just isn’t the case. There’s definitely something very off about Elvis in this regard.

Whether if it was part of a poorly crafted cover-up or if Elvis wasn’t as weird as they say he was, he did have quite a resume when it came to supposed hook-ups. What he did with these women is up for debate. Many women who were supposedly part of Elvis’ stable, openly state that they never did anything with him at all. June Wilkinson, a Playmate and actress who went on a few dates with Elvis, says that after going up to his hotel room, Elvis sat her on his bed and sang to her for hours…and that’s it! Cassandra Peterson, who played the sexy, Gothic TV host Elvira, went out with The King once and all they did was talk. Another actress named Peggy Lipton claims that Elvis was “practically impotent.” Here’s a look at the ones that may have been more than a cover for his weirdness in “The Women of Elvis.”

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WTF News Wednesday: Banana Sam, Bird Droppings, Royal Body Dumping

Shhhh! I’m Trying to Look at Porn

On Thursday, police in Windsor, Ontario responded to a report of a man looking at kiddie porn on his laptop in the aisles of a bookstore. The man’s defense was basically “Nuh uh.” This could of course be a simple misunderstanding because there are so many actions that can be mistaken for watching child pornography in a bookstore. He handed over his laptop to police.

This happened only a week after the local transit authority received a complaint of someone watching porn on a bus. The transit authority is developing a new policy to deal with the use of porn on buses. Because apparently people are so dumb that they really do need to put up a sign that says “No Porn” next to the “No Food or Drink” sign.

The Banana Sam Affair

A 17 year-old squirrel monkey named Banana Sam was returned to the San Francisco Zoo on Saturday after being monkeynapped the previous day. A man stumbled across the little guy in the bushes of a park about a mile away from the zoo. The man then coaxed Banana into his backpack and returned him to monkey jail.

Apparently someone broke into the zoo, climbed on a roof, and cut through some netting in order to get to the monkey. Someone even started a Twitter account, @SF_BananaSam , that tracked his exploits in the city and gained over 2,000 followers. You can’t really blame the monkeynappers though, that is one damn cute monkey.

AP Photo - The Daily Citizen, Warren Watkins

Dropping Like…Birds?

In Beebe, Arkansas, there seems to be a new tradition afoot. Not the annual Cousin F*ck; that’s been going on for generations (obligatory Arkansas incest joke).  For the second New Year’s Eve in a row, several blackbirds scattered the ground after falling to their deaths.

This year’s incident, which involved between 50 and 80 dead birds, is nothing compared to last year on New Year’s Eve when over 5,000 blackbirds were found littering the ground. The small town, which is 40 miles north of Little Rock, is home to annual migrations of birds. It is thought that fireworks are disorienting them and causing them to crash into the ground.

This is odd because obviously Beebe isn’t the only place that has blackbirds and fireworks on New Year’s. And wherever these blackbirds live on the Independence Day doesn’t report the same phenomenon. And why was last year the first time that this has happened? There are definitely more questions than answers when it comes to this bizarre mass bird suicide.

Nobody Parties Harder Than Filipinos

Most people like a wild New Year’s party; but people in The Philippines take it a little too far. After a wild night of partying and fireworks, it is estimated that 476 people were injured during New Year’s celebrations. Of those injuries, 454 were related to fireworks, 18 to celebratory gunshots, and 4 to ingesting firecrackers. 26 amputations had to be performed as well. There were also numerous people stabbed and beaten during large parties and several auto accidents due to decreased visibility from fireworks smoke. 10 flights were cancelled or diverted from Manila Airport due to the smoke.

This was after a Filipino government campaign, or really more of a plea, for safety this New Year’s Eve. They tried to warn people of the dangers of fireworks and basically begged them to make noise without using fireworks and guns. Apparently this is yearly event in the small island nation and this year was no different.

In what now seems to be an omen for the crazy fireworks-related events to come, a police raid on an illegal fireworks stand on the 29^th resulted in a shootout which left one police officer dead. They really must take their fireworks seriously in The Philippines.

Russian Caviar Trafficking

Police found 385 pounds of caviar in the morgue of a St. Petersburg hospital on Wednesday. It was being stored in a refrigerated space used to hold cadavers.

Most of the expensive, salted fish egg delicacy was of the red variety, coming from salmon, but 84 pounds of it was black caviar from the endangered sturgeon. Since the sturgeon has been placed on the endangered species list, a great deal of black caviar has been smuggled and sold illegally. Two men were arrested in connection with the illegal stash. They claim that it was for the hospital’s New Year’s party. Considering that you eat it by the dollop, that’s a shitload of caviar; even for an entire Russian hospital.

The next day, St. Petersburg police seized 100 more kilos of black caviar. This is only a small amount in what is a widespread crackdown on the illegal caviar.

Boxer’s Shorts Nullify Election

When renowned urine drinker (Google it) and welterweight boxer Juan Manuel Marquez fought champion Manny Pacquiao for the title in November, no one knew what an impact it would have. Surprisingly, the only part of the fight, which ended in a controversial decision for Pacquiao, that is still news worthy is an emblem worn on the shorts of the Mexican Marquez.

Marquez wore the insignia of the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) emblazoned on his shorts in support of the political party the day before elections in the state of Michoacan. But in Mexico, partisan publicity is prohibited a few days before the election. This show of support by the boxer, along with an appearance by a candidate at a rally, was enough for a tribunal to nullify the results of the election for mayor of the capital city of Michoacan, Morelia, which was won by a PRI candidate. The opposition party is also calling to nullify the results of other elections won by the PRI; including the election for governor. Another election will take place within the next couple of months.

The Royal Body Dumping Grounds

On New Year’s Day, a dog walker found the badly decomposed body of a woman on a 20,000 acre estate used by the Queen Elizabeth II and the royal family known as Sandringham. Based on the discovery, police have opened a murder investigation.

Before you start imagining the frail, old Queen dragging a body out in the woods after a drug deal gone bad (which would be kind of awesome), you should take into account that the gigantic estate is open to the public and the body was found three miles away from the main royal residence. The area where the body was found is said to be used as hunting grounds by the Queen’s husband Prince Phillip. Maybe he took a page out of Dick Cheney’s book and had a little “hunting accident.”

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2011: The Year in Memes

You know how TIME always gives us their Person of the Year? Once in a while, they’ll include non-humans. On this day (December 26th) in 1982, they named their first non-human – the personal computer. At the time, you probably had a slew of Alpha Betas shouting “NERDS!”, but over the past few years, it’s consumed every last second of our lives. This year, TIME named the protestor as its Person of the Year, but we think it should’ve been the meme. There was a new one every other day! Though there were thousands to pore through, we’ve come up with about 40 of the best. Check ‘em out below.

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The 5 Greatest Unsolved Heists Ever

Watching The Italian Job or Ocean’s 11 may give you the sudden urge to become a master thief; for about two minutes. Then you realize you don’t want to spend the next 10-20 years in prison because they always get caught, right? Actually that is very wrong. Even though almost every high profile robbery and heist is eventually solved, there have been a small number of Hollywood-worthy heists that have turned up no arrests or loot. Some people actually do get away with it. You’ve probably never even heard of most of these; and I think authorities would like to keep it that way. Take a look at “The 5 Greatest Unsolved Heists Ever” below.

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5 Top Cannabis Competitions in America

Every November, thousands of faithful weed smokers flock to Amsterdam for the annual High Times Cannabis Cup. The Cup features entertainment, speakers, and of course, the Super Bowl of weed competitions (the overall winner this year was Liberty Haze). You can buy a ticket to become a judge and sample the best weed in the entire world. Even though this is the premier marijuana contest,there are similar contests right here in the U.S. As you can imagine, these competitions have encountered a lot of resistance and many have faded away. Michigan had to cancel their competition recently due to pressure from law enforcement. But some have stood the test of time and plan on sparking it up again next year. Here’s a sampling of top American cannabis competitions.

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6 of the Most Epic Weed Strains of All-Time

Since cannabis is illegal in most places and since so many people have taken to breeding new strains without any cooperation with one another, it’s hard to determine the exact origins of strains. Let’s also not forget the lack of reliability of sources since there is no official trademark when it comes to weed. The most official way that strains are catalogued is by seed companies and growers, as well as medical dispensaries. Even amongst the most official sources, strains that have the same name are not always the same. There is very little uniformity in the marijuana world compared to other products. That said, there are several strains that have made an impact on marijuana culture and society in general. They may not be the most potent strains, since there are better varieties being produced every day, but they will go down in the books as legendary. Check out which strains made the cut below.

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7 of the Most F’d Up Facebook Stories

Since everybody is on Facebook these days it should come as no surprise that it’s got its fair share of creeps and straight-up @ssholes. There have been a lot of Facebook related murders; mostly by jilted lovers and pedophile/rapist types. But since nobody wants to read about the cyberstalker murderer story for the millionth time, we decided to present you with some less serious but still pretty messed up tales of some f**** up situations that spilled over into Facebook land.

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5 “Facts” About Mars According To Movies

As you might have heard, ‘Merica just launched its new Mars Rover (the Curiosity) over the weekend. Today is also Red Planet Day, so it only makes sense for us to present you with all sorts of “facts” based on “science” that are “true” about Mars (yeah, I know; ridiculous). But we answer to a higher power: Hollywood. When NASA tells us there’s nothing on Mars we scoff because, thanks to Total Recall, we know there’s not only life, but three-titted life. And that’s only the beginning.

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Top 10 Most Recycled Storylines For Movies & TV Shows

For a person that loves movies and television, it’s hard to put up with the cr*p passed off as entertainment most of the time. The sad truth is that 99% of movies and TV shows just plain suck. Making the problem even worse is that they re-use the same crappy ideas over and over again, when maybe one out of a dozen actually worked in the first place. So to bring attention to this sickening problem, I’ve compiled a list of 10 types of shows and movies that’ve been rehashed to death, son. Check ‘em out below.

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COED Says Semper Fi To Marines Both Hot & Bad-Ass for USMC Day [PHOTOS]

November 10th is USMC Day. On that date in 1775 the Continental Marines of the American Revolutionary War was formed by Captain Samuel Nicholas by a resolution of the Second Continental Congress. They were disbanded then resurrected right before the Quasi-War with France. There’s no question Marines are bad-ass, but of this group, there are hundreds who have been held above the rest for receiving the Medal of Honor. They don’t just hand that thing out to anyone. These guys have done some pretty unbelievable things to earn this honor. To celebrate the USMC’s “birthday”, we’ve gathered 6 of the most bad-ass stories from Medal of Honor winners along with pics of hot chicks in Marine uniforms. Check it out below.

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5 High-Tech Weapons You Wouldn’t Have Believed Existed

Today is Gunpowder Day, the day in which Guy Fawkes was arrested for trying to blow up 36 gunpowder kegs in the basement of the British Parliament. At the time, kegs of explosives might have been the most effective method of destruction — no longer. Thanks to the wonders of technology, weapons systems have advanced to the stage where there no longer need to be any moving parts. Furthermore, weapons that the general public knows as “futuristic” are considered yesterday’s news to the shadowy, corporate weapons developers. Our ignorance doesn’t take away from the fact that what these companies have released to the public is completely mind-blowing. It really makes you wonder what kinds of killer merchandise they have in the works right now. All we can show you are five of the most high-tech weapons you wouldn’t believe existed but do — they’re below.

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15 Weird (Or Weirdly Easy To Get) Scholarships

College is expensive; very expensive. That’s why there are so many scholarships up for grabs. Like most things, it unfortunately takes a lot of hard work to get that sweet, sweet money. Well… that’s not always true. There are a few weird and/or relatively easy-to-get scholarships that most students don’t even know about; and the majority of them don’t require good grades or even essays! Take a look at some them below and remember to take notes.

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