8 WTF People Who Banged Angelina Jolie
September 22, 2010 by limoge
Face it…it’s a Brangelina world and we’re all just lucky enough to be breathing the same air as them. And now as Angelina’s new movie Salt is about to premiere, we here at COED thought it only appropriate to celebrate this occasion the best way we know how. Yep, that’s right. We’re listing everyone that Angelina has ever brought into her bedroom. We’re talking men, we’re talking women, and according to rumors, we’re also talking about her brother?
In 1995, the relatively unknown Jolie starred in the film Hackers, alongside Jonny Lee Miller — later to be known for his star turn in Trainspotting. After a whirlwind romance the pair wed in 1996, with Jolie wearing the always classic wedding outfit, black leather pants and a white shirt with Miller’s name painted across the back of it – in her own blood. Despite her vampire attempts to create a loving home, they divorced in 1999. We can only assume she brought the shirt to the cleaners.
Having met on the set of the film Playing God in 1997, Angelina and Timothy Hutton began a relationship that lasted about a year. Angie however, was so taken with Timothy that she had the letter ‘H’ tattooed on the inside of her left wrist. When Timothy ended the relationship because he didn’t want to get serious, “friends” of the star said Angie was so devastated that her mental health took a downward spiral and she started experimenting with heroin. And apparently heroin experimentation is a gateway drug for a far more dangerous addiction — adopting children.
Angelina loves her brother James Haven. I mean she REALLY LOVES her brother James. Now I’m not saying that James and Angie actually hit the sheets, but their passion for one another was fully demonstrated on the night of her big Oscar win, when Angelina landed a big, wet, juicy one right on her sibling’s lips. To further demonstrate their “connection” James, who is still single, once claimed in an interview that’s been hard for him to find a woman because, “I’m so close to Angie it’s like I’ve already got the perfect woman in my life and it’s hard for anyone else to live up to that.” Uh, anyone got Dr. Phil’s phone number?
Upon meeting at the filming of their 1996 movie Foxfire, Angelina says that it was love at first sight with her co-star Jenny Shimizu. Angie and the model/actress dated on and off for several years and rumors continue to this day that they’re still seeing each other on the sly. Whatever the case, it seems that Angie made quite an impact on Jenny who says, “She is beautiful. Her mouth is amazing. I’ve never kissed anyone with a bigger mouth than Angelina. It’s like two water beds — it’s like this big kind of warm, mushy, beautiful thing.” When does this sex tape get released?
Here’s one from the slightly “yucky” files — Angie and Sir Mick apparently did the nasty in between filming of the Rolling Stone’s 1997 video, “Anybody Seen My Baby?” The 66-year-old’s first alleged fling with Angie — who is 32 years his junior- – was said to have happened two years before he finally divorced Texas model Jerry Hall, and while Angie was still married to Jonny Lee Miller. Allegedly they hooked up one last time in 2003. Well, they do say lust is blind.
On the surface, the news that Angie had a brief fling with actor Ralph Fiennes sounds kind of boring. But when you add the fact that Fiennes is a bit of a sex addict having already had two sex scandals, well that heats things up a bit. Wanna got even more hot and bothered? Well, how about the rumor that Angie and Fiennes supposedly met for regular S&M sex sessions at a hotel in London? Yeah, I knew that’d get ya.
Talk about fireworks. Angie met second husband Billy Bob Thornton on the set of their 1999 movie Pushing Tin and for five years the couple outdid themselves with their PDA. Everything from wearing vials of each others blood around their necks to bragging on the red carpet about how they had just went at it in the back seat of a car to Angie’s infamous “Billy Bob” tattoo (which she’s since had removed). So what happened to the star-crossed lovers? Well, she ran off to Cambodia and adopted little Maddox (the first of her six children) without Billy Bob’s input. And things really soured when Billy didn’t warm up to the little guy. In other words, Billy Bob refused to wear a vial of Maddox’s blood around his neck.
Angelina’s brother isn’t the only one who thinks his sister is the perfect woman. At the London premiere of Colin Farrell and Angie’s movie Alexander, Farrell confessed that she was his ideal woman, “I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long time but Angie’s pretty close to my perfect woman.” While neither of them ever confessed to having a relationship, the rumored affair ended because Farrell was becoming obsessed with her, drank too much, and wasn’t a good role model for Maddox. Jeez, that Maddox sure is little ball breaker, ain’t he?
10 Hottest Eco-Friendly Actresses
August 8, 2010 by limoge
COED would like to introducing you to the 10 hottest actresses who are doing their part to make the world a beautiful place — bamboo panties and all! Jut try not going green after reading this.
Yes, she’s beautiful, yes, she’s sexy but she also cares about the environment. Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren just completed an environmentally-conscious renovation of their L.A. home using mostly recycled materials and non-toxic paint. Sue Storm would be proud!
Hayden Panettiere sure loves her dolphins! And no, not in some weird, kinky way. For the past two years, Hayden has traveled to Taiji, Japan to protest dolphin hunting. Each time, she’s been met with tough opposition from the locals for her protests. But each time Hayden refuses to back down. Now that’s a Hero!
When it comes to helping animals, Alicia Silverstone is anything but Clueless. She’s been a member of PETA basically forever, and in ’04 Alicia was voted “Sexiest Female Vegetarian.” She’s also active in PETA’s Save the Sheep and Cows Are Cool campaigns, and lives in a very cool eco-friendly house! Now if she can only convince Steven Tyler to go vegan…
Rachel McAdams
Guys, ya gotta love Rachel McAdams! McAdams is urging women to opt for the bamboo lingerie for the betterment of the environment. The Notebook star has become a leading celebrity green activist and has launched a website, GreenIsSexy.org, to help raise awareness about clothing alternatives and better ways to serve the environment. McAdams admits bamboo underwear “sounds quite painful but they’re actually quite soft. I’ve also got soy underwear!” Umm, sushi, anyone?…
Grist.org, a green website, just named Natalie Portman eco-friendly star of the year—and for a good reason. Natalie’s created her own line of vegan shoes, made the documentary Saving a Species: Gorillas on the Brink with animal expert Jack Hanna, and is also the face of a low-energy light bulb company. Talk about going all out for a cause!
Kate Hudson didn’t just get acting talent from her famous mom; she also inherited a head of beautiful, blonde hair. She’s putting that head to some good environmental and business use by helping to launch a line of hair products that are environmentally friendly and cruelty free. Proceeds are going to benefit WildAid. Now if she could only put that beautiful blonde head to use and make some better movies…
Spencer Grammer
You’d better be green if you’re going to hang around with Spencer Grammer. Spencer, who declares she’s “crazy” about water conservation, grew up in California where there were always droughts. She says, “I’m like, you can’t leave the shower on to let it heat up.”
“Clothed” might not be the first word that pops into your head when you think of Pamela Anderson; however eco-conscious definitely should be. Anderson is well-known for her proud vegetarianism and planetary convictions. Now, the outspoken green babe is kicking it up a notch by teaming up with designer Richie Rich to design a line of environmentally-friendly fashion. Anderson says, “I really don’t like to wear clothes. I would rather go naked. But I love Richie’s design so I agreed to be part of it.” Uh, yeah Pam, we know you like to go naked. We know…we know…we know…
Over the past few years, Halle Berry hasn’t made the best movie role choices (Catwoman, anyone?). But Halle’s wise choice upon the birth of her child was for an all organic, eco-friendly nursery. Even the diapers were eco-friendly. I know, TMI, but we’re pretty sure that Storm would approve.
Cameron Diaz is the queen of green. She drives a Prius, visits green websites, shops at farmers markets, and even co-wrote an eco-friendly manual called ”Green Book,” which gives seven hundred “green” solutions to everyday life. Cameron also shops for organically made clothes, including bathing suits!
Going green isn’t all about being eco-friendly, check out Pro Weed Hot Chicks.
Top 10 Most Notorious Cheaters In The History Of Sex
July 30, 2010 by limoge
For as long as men have seeked fame and fortune, they have also cheated on their wives and girlfriends. Yet there are some men that go beyond simple cheating. These are the low down dirty, no good, crazy ass, DAWGS! Here are the ten most ridiculous cheaters in the history of sex.
Tiger Woods
Before his scandal broke, everyone saw Woods as a rather strait-laced boring kind of guy, you know typical golf dweeb. Now you feel like you need to wear a body condom just to look at him. And what made Woods’ cheating so odd are the women that he cheated with. Married for five years to Elin Nordegren a blonde, beautiful Swedish bathing suit model, Woods decided, “hey, who needs a hot, sexy, beautiful swimsuit model when I can sleep with thirteen of the nastiest, skankiest, ugliest women I could find”.
Who you may ask is Eric Benet? Well, his fifteen minutes of fame came and went when he was married and then cheated on Halle Berry. You know, hot, gorgeous, sexy, Oscar winning, Halle Berry. Well, much like our friend Tiger, Eric felt that hot, sexy Halle wasn’t good enough for him so he went out and cheated then as an added bonus, admitted he was a sex addict when he got caught. So where is Eric Benet today? Probably realizing “dayum, I’m a sex addict and I WAS kicking it with Halle Berry and now I’m not. Boy, am I an idiot”.
Jesse James
Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, boy were we rooting for you. Much like Tiger and Eric, you also had it good. Married to the beautiful Sandra Bullock (America‘s Sweetheart, btw), you two were the dream couple. Yes, you had a bit of a checkered past with the porno wife and the tats but when our Sandy fell for you, we fell for you too. Then one dark day Michelle “Bombshell” McGee reared her dirty, ugly face and the dream was lost. Yes, maybe Sandy is a little too sweet to do all those nasty things you were doing with Bombshell and Skittles, but don’t you realize Jesse, that when you hurt Sandy, you hurt us!
What do you get when you add a very handsome, very married, ex-NY Giant with one very young, very attractive college intern? A very messy scandal, indeed. Married for ten years with two young sons, Barber seemed to totally forget all those silly familial obligations when he was introduced to his intern, Traci Lynn Johnson. Yet what makes this scandal particularly sad is that Barber’s wife Ginny is eight months pregnant…with TWINS!! Talk about thinking with the wrong head!
Eddie Murphy
In 1997, a very married Eddie Murphy was pulled over by undercover cops when they witnessed him picking up a prostitute late one night. Things got interesting however, when it was discovered that Murphy told the cops he was only trying to give the street walker advice on how to live a more honorable lifestyle. Sounds kind of boring though, right? Well, how about the fact that Murphy’s “lady of the night” wasn’t no lady. Yup, Murphy’s pickup was actually a twenty-year old transsexual. I knew that’d get ya.
As one of the front-runners in the race for President and married to his wife Elizabeth for thirty-plus years, Edwards seemed like the all American family man with a bright future. Then The National Enquirer broke the news that changed his life forever–Edwards was sleeping with Rielle Hunter, one of his campaign employees. What makes this story so horrible is that Edwards was sleeping with Hunter while his wife was undergoing treatment for STAGE FOUR breast cancer! Uh, guess all that nice guy stuff was just a big ol’ lie.
Woody Allen
It was one thing when the writer/director was just a lovable neurotic New Yorker, and quite another when he began an affair with Soon Yi, the adopted daughter of his longtime girlfriend Mia Farrow. Farrow discovered the affair when she found naked photos of twenty one-year-old Previn in Allen’s apartment. What made the incident especially troubling to many is that Allen has never understood why anyone would object to this relationship (which continues to this day), saying he was simply following his heart. Followed it over a cliff is more like it.
Hugh Grant
Hugh Grant was the basset hound-eyed epitome of the perfect British gentleman — that is, until he was arrested on the Sunset Strip while receiving oral sex from a prostitute in 1995. What made the scandal so newsworthy was the massive contrast between Grant’s onscreen image as the ultimate smooth British fantasy object and the caliber of his pickup, a street-walker named Divine Brown. And all this occurred while he was dating super hot model Elizabeth Hurley. Uh, maybe Liz was just TOO hot for him.
Bill Clinton
In one of the most public political scandals that nearly brought down a Presidency, Bill Clinton repeatedly denied having an affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. And no one could forget his infamous line, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Later of course the whole world discovered that he did indeed do the nasty with Lewinsky…in the Oval Office no less. (Or should it be renamed the “Oral” Office, heh heh)
Jude Law
In the contest for the most head spinning serial cheater, Jude Law definitely wins the prize. He went from cheating on his wife Sadie Frost with actress Sienna Miller, then cheating on Sienna with his children’s nanny, then cheated on the nanny with an aspiring actress he met on a film set (and fathered a child with her, btw). Now we have come almost full circle, as it seems Law and Sienna are now back together. God, does, this guy deserve the Golden Penis Award for best cheater or what!
8 Extreme Cases of “Compulsive Hoarders” Syndrome
June 9, 2010 by limoge
It’s one thing to throw your clothes on the floor after a drunken night or to store your plate under your favorite couch cushion for a few days. But it’s a whole other thing to start hoarding everything you own from old newspapers to used fast food wrappers in your house. We’ve scoured the entire internet (more disgusting than any drawer in your house) and found the 8 biggest hoarders. Feel free to throw this in your girlfriend’s face the next time she calls you a disgusting pig for leaving the toilet seat up.
1. Augustine
Thirty years ago, Augustine was a proud, beautiful woman with two adorable children. Now she lives in a “house” filled with foul trash. The water, gas, and heat have been turned off, and even Augustine seems turned off from reality. And the icing on the cake? The poor woman ain’t even got no teeth!
2. Jake
Talk about depressing (and gross). Twenty-one year old Jake is a compulsive hoarder who lives in a house strewn with snack wrappers, empty bottles, and rotting food. He can’t even bring himself to clean up his dog’s shedded black hair!
3. Shirley
Shirley, the ultimate spinster, could never turn her back on a stray cat. Due to this weakness, she currently lives in a house with an innumerable amount of felines, (some living, some dead), along with the fetid odors of cat feces and urine soaked carpeting and furniture. In other words, she’s competing to be the world’s official cat lady.
4. Chris
On the outside, he is George Clooney handsome. But on the inside Chris is hiding a disturbing secret. He’s has been unable to have people over since he’s living in a house strewn from floor to ceiling with loads and loads of junk . It took him 3 years to muster up the courage to even invite over his girlfriend of three years.
Jennifer and Ron are a happily married couple with two beautiful children. Yet in this household two hoarders are NOT better than one. Jennifer is a compulsive shopper who never saw an item she didn’t like. Ron meanwhile, can’t seem to part with well, anything. Together, this couple are a disaster!
6. Jill
Jill’s home is a nightmare. Food in various stages of decay is stuffed among her two freezers and four refrigerators–one of which is held shut by duct tape and a box of dented canned goods. And Jill seems unwilling to part with any of it. (WARNING: just looking at Jill’s freezer and the dead flies on her fly paper will make you want to hurl!)
7. Bob
Bob and Betsey are the picture of a happy American family. They have four beautiful children and own a large, beautiful home. Thing i,s they can’t sleep in their large, beautiful home because the structure is infested with bed bugs and the exterminator can’t get into the house to get rid of them due to the overflow of broken furniture, food, piles of clothes, and mounds of books and toys. So where have Bob, Betsy and the children chosen to sleep instead? Why in tents in their backyard where they have been sleeping for four months. Hmmm, cozy.
8. Richard
Retired veterinarian Richard (or as he likes to be called, “Dr. Dickey”) is a self-proclaimed “collector” who has filled up his entire home, two garages, and two storage units with his “collections”. What does he collect exactly? How about hundreds of decorated eggs, tons of veterinary related figurines, and 60,000 beer cans. And “Dr. Dickey” claims he’s only had two beers his whole life. Uh yeah, right.
Five Body Washes You Should Be Using
April 27, 2010 by limoge
Guys like to be touched. Girls like to touch guys, but ONLY if said guy looks clean and smells fresh. Well, now thanks to some new innovations in the male body wash market, you too can come out of the shower looking good and smelling great. And thanks to my very independent study, (courtesy of my somewhat willing boyfriend), here are the five body washes you should be using:
Nivea Men Active 3 $8-9
According to my online research, unlike women who prefer specific shampoos and soaps to match hair and skin types, men like the convenience of multifunction formulas (body washes that serve as both a shampoo and body wash, but also function as a shave gel). With that in mind Nivea created Men Active 3.
Nivea Men Active 3
Now for the real life test: using a fairly small amount of Nivea Men Active 3, my guy was able to wash all his hair (granted, his hair is fairly short). He was most surprised however, when he used it to shave because he didn’t have to use very much of the product at all — despite the fact that he hadn’t shaved for several days. And he didn’t suffer from skin irritation as he sometimes does with shaving cream. Afterward, his skin and hair was soft and clean, and as a bonus we both liked the fresh, clean scent.
Axe Skin Contact Hydrating Shower Gel $5-6
Launched in France in 1983 by Unilever, the Axe line of products are known for its catchy “how dirty boys get clean” commercials. And of course, there’s that claim of unrelenting female attention (more about that later).
As far as actual cleaning, according to my personal lab rat, the Skin Contact Hydrating Shower Gel lathers up well, rinses clean, and definitely leaves skin feeling protected. It moisturized his skin and kept it hydrated all day.
Now as for that scent, let me just say it ain’t all hype! I actually found myself irresistibly drawn to that yummy aroma! Even a few hours after he got out of the shower, the scent still kept going strong. And even though it smells great, it’s not overpowering like some colognes can be. So, now let it be known once and for all, that stuff smells GOOD! Oh yeah, uh, huh….
Old Spice Old Spice High Endurance $4-7
According to my research, Old Spice introduced body wash in 2003 and is a close second to Axe among men’s brands. Old Spice also emphasizes manliness as it is the official body wash of the NFL and Nascar. Boo-Yeah!
As for usage, I’ve been told it cleans really well. It has a nice, thick gel consistency right from the bottle that quickly lathers up and “gets me clean, leaving no soapy residue.”
And unlike other body washes the scent is not overpowering yet it lasts all day long.
Axe Snake Peel Shower Scrub $4-7
With desert minerals and cactus oil, Axe Snake Peel Shower Scrub is designed to deep clean, exfoliate and remove dirt and dry skin. As the bottle suggests, “use daily to scrub the slate clean.”
My guy’s verdict? “The ‘desert minerals’ are very much like (and might just be) pumice and scrub away dirt and grime thoroughly. However, it does exactly what the fine print says that it does, and that is get your “nasty rear clean.”
The Axe Effect on Women
Oh yeah, and then there’s THAT scent. It smells like citrus but in a good way (a VERY good way!).
Ralph Lauren Polo Double Black $20
According to online users, it’s the best of the high end products.
Spiced with “mango blends, nutmeg-infused espresso and the warmth of spiced woods,” Ralph Lauren Polo Double Black provides a quick-lathering, rich foaming gel that according to my user, “cleanses skin without stripping it of its moisture. It leaves skin refreshed with the scent of Polo Ralph Lauren Double Black.” Which trust me, smells very manly.
The 7 Dating Sites Every Guy Needs to Know
April 24, 2010 by limoge
Love. It’s grand. It’s life-changing. But for some, love needs a little help finding its way. Well, thanks to the internet, one can find “love” in all its many forms (chatroulette anyone?) With that in mind, here are the top 7 dating sites ranging from the “I Want to Meet my Soul Mate and Live Happily Ever After” type to the “I Want to Get Laid NOW” variety:
The “I Want to Meet the Love of My Life and Get Married” Website – eHarmony.com
As anyone can tell from any of their commercials, eHarmony is for the serious relationship/ marriage-minded types ONLY! As it is, just to get through their ginormous personality survey alone requires a huge commitment!! This “in-depth personality profile” delves into hundreds of ”personality dimensions.” Then they use your responses to cross match you with other eHarmony members who are highly compatible with you. And according to Online Dating Magazine, eHarmony accomplishes something that virtually no other dating site has: there are twice as many women on eHarmony than there are men. So all you marriage-minded fellas out there, eHarmony is the place for you!
The “Okay, I’m Married Now, But the Sex Sucks” Website – AshleyMadison.com
Okay, let’s say you’ve been married for about 7 years and your “love of your life” wife no longer wants to have sex with you. Well, enter AshleyMadison.com, a website for people who want to cheat on their partners. That’s right, unlike traditional Internet dating sites where you’re expected to say you’re unattached, Ashley Madison (whose slogan is, “Life is short. Have an affair”) is honest about its duplicity. And although its mission can be perceived as very wrong (for the record: cheating IS bad!), the fact that it claims 3.2 million members (30% of which are female), suggests that it’s also doing something right.
The “I Want to Meet a Bad Girl” Website – http://www.ladiesofthepen.com/
Four words–Female Inmate Pen Pals. Touted as “the premier internet introduction and dating service”, Ladies of the Pen are female inmates looking for pen pals and post-release relationships. These “attractive, sexy, young women,” described as very lonely committed very minor crimes and are due to be released within two years. And if you’re concerned about whether these ladies can be trusted once they’re released, it is recommended that you “verify her information with the dept. of corrections. Oh and by the way, “many of the women on our site are former strippers, former dancers, former escorts, and a few ex-porn stars.” Why do I have a feeling this site is going to seriously crash once all you curious, young fellas head over to the site all at once?
The “I Have an STD But I Still Want to Get Laid” Website – positivesingles.com
Working on the theory that people with herpes/HPV, HIV/AIDS need lovin’ too, positivesingles.com was created. Touted as a “warm-hearted and exclusive community for singles and friends with STDs“, Postivesingles.com helps you get on with your life and meet new friends, partners or potential spouses. You can also learn about STD medical treatments and information, find someone to talk to, or offer help and advice. All kidding aside, this actually appears to be a very warm, caring website for people dealing with some serious diseases.
The “I Want IT and I Want IT BIG” Website– http://www.largepassions.com/
Forget abs of steel. Do you like your women chunky? Are you a bonafide Chubby Chaser? Then largepassions.com is for you. This unique site believes that size is only a number and offers online personals for plus size singles: the BBW – (Big Beautiful Woman), the BHM – (Big Handsome Man) and their Admirers FA’s – (Fat Admirers). And while the term overweight is subjective, usually any size over a 16 may be considered chubby chaser material. And what kind of man is usually a chubby chaser? Actually all kinds. According to bbwcupid.com, many men are sick of the underweight images that the media throws at them and actually prefer a woman with a little more meat on her bones.
The “I Want to Get Laid…and Laid…and Laid…” Website–Bangmatch.com
In between girlfriends or not really looking for a relationship? Then, Bangmatch.com is calling your name (can the title be anymore obvious?!) Bangmatch.com is “run by women to serve their sexual needs”. The website also claims to have “over 120,000+ women who want to have SEX–lots of it!” Their motto is “Created to give horny women what we need -sex and more sex.” The site guarantees that all the photos “of the women, couples, and she-males you’ll meet at BangMatch.com have been ID verified.” In other words, who/what you see online is what you get. Well, at least someone believes in truth in advertising!
The “I Want to Get Laid and I Don’t Give a F%#k What She/It Looks Like” Website–Craiglist.com
Horny as all get out and just want sex without any frills, attachments, or sanitary conditions? Looking to pursue a latent fetish, perhaps? Then Craigslist Casual Encounters is for you, my friend. Yes, the website that sells tea pots, apartments and cute little pussies (the FELINE variety, fellas!!) also offers “relationships” of the somewhat seedy variety (care to purchase a pair of “used panties“, anyone??). Ahh, the things we do for “love”…
The 10 Best Moments in “South Park” History
April 14, 2010 by limoge
Weird, wacky, outlandish and always pushing the envelope. Those are just a few of the words to best describe, Stan, Kyle, Butters, Kenny, Cartman and all the other assorted denizens of “South Park”. Every week when I tune in, I always think they just totally crossed a line and they’ll never get away with something like that again. Then sure enough the very next week I watch with my jaw hanging open and they’ve done it again! 
Now in honor of this ground breaking, can’t miss show, here are what I believe are 10 of the best moments in “South Park” history. See if any of your favorites made the list.
The episode that started it all. I still remember the first time I watched it I laughed so hard I nearly puked!
Mr. Garrison takes a leave of absence to get a nosejob. Unfortunately when the bandages come off, he looks exactly like David Hasselhoff. Meanwhile back at school, the boys try their hardest to become lesbians.
All the fourth grade girls idolize a certain rich, famous and spoiled socialite (hint: her initials are PH). Meanwhile Mr. Slave battles this socialite in a no holds barred Whore Off that’s got to be seen to be believed.
Towelie gets over his drug addiction and writes a moving book about his experiences. Thanks to Oprah’s support, the book becomes a best seller and his story inspires millions to turn their lives around. However, when he’s caught in a lie by the grand dame of daytime television, Towelie’s old habits start to look mighty appealing. Then of course, Towelie must contend with the gun that Oprah’s hiding in her um, lady parts.
Kyle Broflovski may not have Santa, but he’ll always have Mr. Hankey.
Butters a pimp?!…it all starts with Butters’ innocent quest to get his very first kiss. (You know what I am saying?)
It’s the 2009 summer of celebrity death and Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother and help move Michael Jackson on his heavenly way.
When Stan is identified as the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, Scientologists converge on his front lawn and ask him to lead them. When he then criticizes the acting skills of a certain Hollywood actor and Scientology follower, the actor locks himself in Stan’s closet and refuses to come out (“come out” in uh, more ways then one.)
Jimmy is in training for an upcoming sporting event and he’s determined to win at any cost. Meanwhile Cartman feels he can easily take first place against Jimmy. He just has to convince the qualifying committee he’s handicapped.
All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can’t wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy’s noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can’t get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show.
11 Songs That Scream ’80s
April 13, 2010 by limoge
Ronald Reagan was president, an unknown singer named Madonna appeared on the horizon and this thing called the Apple computer was born. It was the 1980s, an era that was all about change, especially in music. For those of you unfamiliar with the 80′s sound, following are 11 bitchin’ songs that defined the era:
The Buggles- Video Killed the Radio Star
On August 1, 1981, MTV played their very first music video ever. The group? The Buggles. The song? Video Killed the Radio Star. Thus the age of music videos was born and the world of music was changed forever.
The Waitresses – I know What Boys Like
The band only existed from 1981 to 1983 and this was their most popular song. The Waitresses only other claim to fame was their recording of the theme song for the cult TV show Square Pegs which starred a young Sarah Jessica Parker.
Bow Wow Wow – I Want Candy
Bow Wow Wow was put together by Malcolm McLaren, who is famous for creating The Sex Pistols. I Want Candy turned out to be Bow Wow Wow’s only hit.
The Vapors – Turning Japanese
One of the more misinterpreted songs of all time, word was that Turning Japanese refers to the Oriental facial features people get at the moment of climax during masturbation. In a VH1 special, The Vapors were asked about this song, and they explained that it is a love song about someone who lost their girlfriend and was going slowly crazy. Um yeah, sounds just about right
Nena – 99 Red Balloons (Luftballoons)
Both the English and German versions of the song tell a story of 99 balloons floating into the air, triggering an apocalyptic overreaction by military forces.
Duran Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf
Written by the band members, the music video was filmed in the jungles of Sri Lanka and evoked the atmosphere of the film Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Thomas Dolby – She Blinded Me With Science
This song is about a scientist who falls in love with his lab assistant. Dolby directed the video himself, which was set in a mental hospital and considers it the most meaningless song he ever wrote. This was Dolby’s only hit in the US.
Devo – Whip It
S&M lovers’ favorite song! Devo funded the music video for Whip It with $15,000 of their own money. The main visual of the video, clothes being whipped off a woman, was inspired by an article in a 1962 issue of Dude magazine. According to the band, ”there was a guy who owned a dude ranch in Arizona and for entertainment he’d whip his wife’s clothes off with a 12-foot bullwhip. She sewed the costumes and put them together with Velcro. The story was in the magazine about how good he was and how he never hurt her. “The group members got a big laugh about it and said, ‘OK, that’s the basis for the video”. (Good thing the guy didn’t try to shoot his wife’s clothes off.)
Dexy’s Midnight Runners – Come On Eileen
The band’s name was inspired by the amphetamine drug Dexedrine, which is commonly known as “Dexys”. The band itself steered away from drinking and drugs, saying nothing should interfere with their dedication to music. Eileen was a girl that songwriter and band member Kevin Rowland grew up with. Their relationship became romantic when the pair were 13. The song describes the thin line between love and lust. When this hit #1 in the US, it knocked Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean off the top spot.
A-Ha – Take On Me
This was a hit in the US due to its innovative video where a cartoon figure beckons the reader to join him in a comic. Directed by Steve Barron, who was responsible for much of MTV’s playlist in the 80s, as he also directed Billie Jean, Karma Chameleon and Summer Of ’69, the video was inspired by the transformation scene in the film Altered States. Every scene was shot live then projected onto paper and traced.
Tears For Fears – Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Written and recorded in two weeks, the song is about the quest for power, and how it can have unfortunate consequences.
How To Travel Without Getting Arrested
April 13, 2010 by limoge
Traveling overseas is the best kind of travel that exists. There really is nothing else like soaking up another culture, eating delicious food, and meeting great people. However different cultures mean different laws. What is fun in America could be illegal in another country. And while there might be nothing better than traveling around a foreign country, there is also nothing worse than spending the rest of your life in a foreign prison. Learn a lesson from these American tourists who made a mistake (or five) and ended up getting convicted by foreign courts.
Amanda Knox – Crime: Accused of Murder
In an extreme case of getting in too deep, twenty-year old University of Washington student Amanda Knox was recently sentenced to twenty-five years in prison for the murder of her roommate Meredith Kercher in Perugia, Italy. Knox or “Foxy Knoxy,” as she’s called in Italy, was convicted along with her Italian boyfriend, Raffaele Sollecito for Kercher’s murder. The prosecution claims that Kercher’s murder was the result of a drug fueled orgy that went horribly wrong. Currently, Knox sits in an Italian jail cell, hoping for an appeal.
Lesson: No matter how good the Italian sex and drugs are, do not kill the other woman!
Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Joshua Fattal – Crime: Accused of Spying
Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Joshua Fatta are hikers detained in Iran
Talk about a hiking trip gone bad! Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd, and Joshua Fattal are all graduates of the University of California, Berkeley with considerable experience in traveling and reporting from abroad. In August 2009 however, Bauer, Shourd and Fattal took a hiking trip and wandered into Iranian territory (which is an obvious no-no for Americans!) and were swiftly surrounded by Iranian troops, accused of being spies, and arrested. The three are still imprisoned and face intense interrogation by Iranian authorities.
Lesson: For God’s sake, bring a map!
Eliadah “Lia” McCord – Crime: Smuggling Heroin
Eighteen year old Lia McCord’s was broke and looking to make some fast cash. Enter Lia’s roommate who hooked her up with a “friend,” who offered her $20,000 to smuggle heroin out of Bangladesh. Finding this an offer too good to resist, Lia soon found herself in a Bangladesh airport with seven pounds of heroin duct taped to her body. Lia would have made it on the plane were it not for an eagle-eyed official who detained her, searched her, arrested her, and watched as she was sentenced to five years in a Bangladeshi prison (a big drop from the death by hanging that she was originally sentenced to!)
Lesson: Beg your parents for money before you smuggle drugs!
Lori Berenson – Crime: Political Prisoner
Lori Berenson-political prisoner
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! In 1995, Lori Berenson left MIT to travel through Peru where she just happened to befriend some Peruvians who just happened to be members of the Túpac Amaru Revolutionary Movement; a Peruvian terrorist group responsible for several insurgent attacks. On November 30, 1995 while riding on a public bus in downtown Lima with Nancy Gilvonio (who just happened to be married to the MRTA’s second in command), Berenson was arrested, accused of being a leader of the MRTA, and sentenced to life in prison.
Lesson: Be extremely cautious of who you befriend abroad!
Brendan Cosso – Crime: Smuggling Cocaine
Brendan Cosso and his buddies busted in Brazil for smuggling cocaine
In 1993, Brendan Cosso and his three pals were approached by a flashy acquaintance named “John” about making some easy money smuggling cocaine out of Brazil for $50,000. They attempted to board a plane in Sao Paulo with several packs of cocaine taped to their body. They checked in and were immediately spotted by an official who noticed their nervous body language. Upon their arrest, they were sent to the notorious Carandiru prison, where they served four and a half glorious years.
Lesson: Smuggling drugs is NEVER easy money!
5 Looks That Will Keep You From Getting Laid
April 8, 2010 by limoge
As a whole, we women can overlook a whole mountain of fashion faux pas when we’re looking to hookup. But there are 5 style no-no’s that will never, EVER get you into our beds. If you’re ever caught wearing any of the following, you can kiss your good night, good bye.
Greasy Hair
Yuck!
It used to be that this was a condition that only affected those among the “hipster” or “grunge” set who believed the use of shampoo to be merely a passing trend. Unfortunately however, movie stars like Robert Pattinson seem to have brought greasy locks from the fringe to the red carpet to mainstream men. So while it might be tempting to try out this laid-back approach to general hygiene for yourself and see if it induces the same squealing effect from the everyday woman, here’s a newsflash, guys–it doesn’t. So unless you‘re RPat, real women like your hair clean and nice-smelling. Remember, shampoo and showers are your friends!
Skinny Jeans
Sooo NOT sexy!
Skinny jeans refer to ultra-slim, glued-to-your-skin denim that makes it look like you’ve been shopping in your girlfriend’s closet. Essentially, they are the male equivalent of a corset, but much, much worse, because while a corset plays up a woman’s natural curviness and looks sexy, your girlfriend’s jeans merely constrict your body and do absolutely nothing to enhance the male physique. Personally speaking, when I see guys wearing skinny jeans, it reminds me of a poor little underfed 10 year old girl. So guys, make a note to yourselves– the only people that should wear skinny jeans are GIRLS that can look good in them!
Uggs
Uggggly!
Yes, this boot brand is spelled U-G-G, as in: “Ugg — why the f&%! are you wearing those uggly things on your feet?” The name, however fitting, comes from the generic term for sheepskin boots in Australia that rose to popularity in the 1970s. Despite their feminine form, for some reason Uggs have found their way on men’s feet since the early 2000s. Well, here’s a newsflash to those men: guys who can’t part with their precious Ugg boots should simply select one of their 10 pairs of skinny jeans to tuck into them and have a nice par-tay…by themselves!
Too Much Jewelry
Too much bling!
A watch. Maybe one earring. When it comes to men’s jewelry, LESS definitely means MORE. If you’re sporting a Mr. T amount of jewelry, your name better be either Johnny Depp or Keith Richards. If it’s not, then step away from your jewelry box and just choose 1 or 2 items max. to be on your body at any one time. If not, you may be spending many lonely nights shining up your jewels by yourself.
Moustaches
Shave that thing off!
Let’s put it this way, unless your name is Tom Selleck, or you’re Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused or you’re in a 70’s porno, don’t do it. You see guys, to the fairer sex, a moustache is the equivalent of having a bad pickup line on your face. So unless you’ve decided to embark on a celibacy phase, either try an all-over stubble–the five o’clock shadow kind, or shave it all off and let her see what you’re working with.
5 Ways to Attract More Biz in Bed
March 26, 2010 by limoge
Face it. No matter how you guys dress, talk or think, when you’re out in public, your ultimate goal is to score fine chicks. But whether you’re sporting a suit, or rocking your favorite jeans one of the most essential tricks for attracting the ladies is to cultivate basic habits that bring out your sex appeal and keep it there. Once you incorporate these habits into your life and they become second nature, you’ll soon find women approaching you more often and other guys eyeing you with envy.
Getting down to business
So to help you get a jump start on becoming the guy that every woman wants to be with, we’ve put together a list of 5 habits to bring your sexy back . Follow our tips and that hot sex life will soon be yours.
Get a hairstyle.
You may be doing everything right, but if you neglect your hair, your efforts to win over the ladies will be in vain as the first thing women notice is your unkempt locks. So if
Women love nice hair
you’re a punk rocker, get a Mohawk. If you’re the preppy type, keep it neat and combed. But whatever your hair preference, keep it clean, keep it well-groomed and make sure your ‘do doesn’t become a don’t.
Have a signature scent (and no, b.o doesn’t count).
Women like men who smell good. It’s like an ultimate turn on to be with a guy that just smells great! So once you find a fragrance that blends with your natural odor for a
Ya gotta smell good for the ladies
tantalizing effect, stick with it. But don’t think that you need to spend hundreds on cologne. Something as simple (and yummy) as Axe for Men is a good place to start. Yet no matter what scent you choose, do NOT over use! Nothing can a kill a moment more than cologne overkill. So use a scent, but use it sparingly.
Think about your overall style and who you want to attract.
If you want to hang out at the Jersey Shore and attract Snookie, then The Situation is your go-to stylist. But if you want to snag a Blake Lively or Leighton Meester type then catch some episodes of “Gossip Girl” and check out what Chace Crawford and the gang are wearing. You may also want to read some issues of GQ or Details magazines to see
Ladies like the good fitting jeans
what the latest styles for men are. Don’t forget, once you get your stylin’ just right, in no time you’re bound to meet the woman that will be ready to tear those fine lookin’ clothes right off your body!
Cleanliness is next to Godliness which is next to getting fine women.
Mother was always right when she said to wash your hands. Women like men that look and smell clean so always make sure to shower once a day and that your hands and finger nails are always clean. And don’t forget to brush your teeth and floss. Also if you’re planning to hook up with that special lady later in the evening, make sure your um, “parts” are sparkling clean, too.
Have a sense of humor.
Nothing makes a woman want to shed her panties more than a guy that makes her laugh. (And no, stupid knock-knock jokes don’t work). In survey after survey, women place a
Woman love to laugh!
guy’s sense of humor as their number one most desirable trait. Now you don’t have to be a Dane Cook or Chris Rock and do a stand up routine at the edge of the bed to get us laughing but just try to see the silly side of life. Catch episodes of The Daily Show or old episodes of Seinfeld just to see how fun (and funny) life can be. And don’t forget, sex is ALWAYS better when you can have a good time and laugh about it!
10 Spring Break Dos and Don’ts
March 16, 2010 by limoge
Spring break is time to get away from school, responsibilities and the mundane. But while it is a time to let loose, there are some rules that should be followed that will help make your vacation safe, fun and keep you as happy and popular as Tequila in Mexico:
DO NOT get arrested. Spring break is a time to have fun and let loose, but you can have fun and let loose without doing anything illegal. To help keep your activities legal, think of how angry your friends would be if they had to use their extra spring break money to bail you out of jail. So NOT cool.
Par-tay!
DO NOT wear a “wife beater” on the beach (or anywhere else for that matter). Those cheap Target tanks are only suitable for one thing: to be worn under another shirt. Never should you ever think you look like a stud walking down the beach with that thing on (unless of course, your name is “The Situation” and you’re dating a girl named “Snooki”).
DO keep safety first. As boring as it is to think about, it is something that has to be remembered (if only to keep in the back of your mind). If you’re driving to your spring break destination, be sure to have your car checked to make sure it can go the distance without any trouble. Also, while you are on the road, be sure to switch out drivers so no one gets sleepy while driving.
DO bring props, fun items, candy, crazy hats, outfits and anything else that’s bound to get you attention and ultimately create a fun and festive atmosphere. We recommend the Shot Bong! It’s always a hit – especially around the pool. Expect to have people lining up to try it.
DO NOT have sex in the sand! It’ll be like having sex with sandpaper. Probably not the sensation you would enjoy. Also, it’ll be extremely hard to wash the sand out of all your um, nooks and crannies.
Wild!
DO NOT have sex in a hot tub. The chemicals found in hot tubs can cause infections and might cause infertility problems later in life and can burn your uh, most personal spots (OUCH!).
DO NOT sunbathe in the nude. First of all it’s illegal in a lot of places and secondly there’s just certain places on the body that just don’t need to be suntanned. That being said, when you are out in the sun (and if you are lucky enough to be on a nude beach) make sure to put on plenty of sunscreen. Remember, there’s just nothing worse than being away on vacation and feeling the burn in some uh, uncomfortable places. OUCH!
DON'T forget the sunscreen!!
DO NOT do anything that you wouldn’t normally do back on campus. You may feel that spring break is a time to toss all inhibitions out the window on the plane ride down to Cancun , but just because you’re in a different area code or country, doesn’t mean you should lower your standards. (Is earning a free t-shirt from “Guys Gone Wild“ really worth it??) Also, remember that a mistake made can still haunt you back home, like having unprotected sex. So don’t forget the condoms!!
DO NOT drink to excess. Yes, spring break is all about party, party, party but they weren’t joking when they say, “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila – floor.” Do you really want to spend 2 days in bed with the hangover from hell?! And if you decide that you are going to go overboard, at least drink quality tequila.
DO get proper training from experts before taking part in athletic or skilled activities like surfing, water-skiing, and scuba diving.
DO have fun. You only get to be a college student once so enjoy it while you can.
10 Things Women Secretly Love About Men
March 15, 2010 by limoge
We know, we know. We complain a lot about everything you do. From the way you clip your toenails on the couch to the way you refuse to put a shirt on when indoors. But you know what? Deep down we really do love all those silly, crazy, smelly things you do. And do you know why?–it’s because we love YOU dammit! Here is a list of ten things we secretly love about you.
1. We love when you fart! Even though we may appear grossed out and pissed off, we secretly we love it when you fart. Especially when you do it in bed and insist on putting our heads under the covers just so we can get an especially good whiff. We love it because it’s YOURS — and because every girl gets turned on by a good old-fashioned dutch oven.
We really love your farts!
2. It’s really cute when you forget our birthdays! Forgot Christmas, our birthday, and our anniversary? Phaah. We love how you tell us that everyday with us is a holiday! Besides we know you have plenty on your mind (sports stats, your latest Xbox scores, how come you weren’t one of the two men Megan Fox slept with), so if you’ve forgotten any of these silly dates this year…whatever. Those dates will come round again next year. And truthfully, YOU are the real gift!
You forgot our birthday..again? That's OK!
3. Your unshowered odor drives us wild! We love it when you’re sweaty and smelly, like you haven’t bathed in a month. Because after all it’s YOUR smell and we’re just so incredibly thankful to have YOU (foul smells and all!). You know what? Let’s just uninstall the shower and make the bathroom a game room instead.
Ahhh! Good or bad, we LOVE the way you smell!
4. We love your wacky style! Those Ed Hardy t-shirts with the giant designs on the front (or even better, the button downs with the giant designs on the back) are SO cute. Better yet, we love it when you combine them with any of the following– sweatbands, sweatpants with the elastic in the bottom, slip on sandals, and over-sized plastic sunglasses with giant designers names on the side. Oh God, just thinking about it turns me on!
The MORE Ed Hardy on your body the better!!
5. Forgot to put the toilet seat down? That’s okay! You left the toilet seat up again?! No problem. It’s our fault for having to pee in the middle of the night. Plus, we have to thank YOU for giving us the exercise of having to pick ourselves up from out of the bowl. And let’s be honest, we probably need the exercise anyways.
Whoopsi! Our bad.
6. Constantly Talking on The Phone When you’re With Us? No Problem! We love how responsible you are. So making sure that you’re always available to talk to your friends on the phone (even while you’re at a romantic restaurant with us) is another one of those crazy things we love about you!
We LOVE how you're always on the phone when you're with us! You're SO responsible!
7. We love how you’re so creative with your dirty clothes! So you’re a little messy and you leave your dirty underwear all over the bedroom floor. Who cares if we occasionally find smelly socks in couch cushions?We actually look forward to the day when we can have children, so this is actually good practice for us!
We LOVE your mess!
8. Talking about yourself, Again?! Tell us more! We love it when you brag about yourself. It makes us feel all feminine, safe and protected. And after all, YOU are the MAN! What could we possibly have to say that’s more interesting than what you’re saying?
Oh do go on!
9. So you like to look at other women…that’s fine! We know those eyes of yours have a tendency to wander , so looking at other women?–whatever. Again, this gives us some enlightenment as to what we’re doing wrong or how we should be dressing. So thanks in advance for the wonderful visual lesson.
So what you look at other women!
10. When it comes to sex, it’s all about you! So, you have a tendency to be a little selfish in bed. After a hard day at work, nothing makes us happier than to sexually please you, over and over and over. Don’t even think about pleasing us! It would just make us feel awkward and selfish.
When it comes to sex, it's all about YOU!
A Girl’s Perspective: Why I’d Go Lesbian For Sandra Bullock and Maggie Gyllenhaal
March 6, 2010 by limoge
As Oscar night approaches, I’m in the midst of doing my usual handicapping of who I think will win in in which category. But I already know who I’m rooting for in the Best Actress and Supporting Actress categories:
In her current role as the adoptive mother of NFL great Michael Oher in “The Blind Side , Best Actress nominee Sandra Bullock is all sweetness and gutsiness. But take off that brassy wig and makeup, and Sandra is one cool, sexy chick. With her sassy sense of humor and come hither big brown eyes, Sandy is as you guys would say, “doable”.
And this year, going where she’s never gone before, Sandy went full on naked in her recent comedy hit “The Proposal”. (That chick has one smokin’ body, I tell ya! ) Move over Jessie James, you got some competition here…
Now with her pouty lips, sweet baby blues and porcelain skin, Supporting Actress nominee for “Crazy Heart”, Maggie Gyllenhaal is also one hot chick. Sweet, sexy with just a hint of naughtiness, Maggie can make a straight woman cross the line. And if you’ve ever seen the movie “Secretary” you know that she’s totally not ashamed to do anything for her art….absolutely anything .
Finally, as confirmation that the rest of the world agrees with me about Mags, Agent Provocateur, the UK-based lingerie company well-known for their over-the-top sexy advertising, named Maggie their 2007 spokesperson. Going from sweet/sexy to downright naughty, Maggie can make any guy (or uh, gal) go absolutely wild!
Now excuse me boys while I take a cold shower…
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This sexiness feels naughty…
