Who Is Joe Six Pack, Anyway?

If you watched the VP debate last night you heard a lot about Sarah Palin’s BFF, Joe Six Pack. But who is he? What does he like? What does he do?We don’t know Joe Six Pack personally (though we have hooked up with his cousin, Mark Quarter Barrel…who could not keep it up), but we imagine he’d be something like this:

Description:
5′11, brown hair, brown eyes, some sort of facial hair, big hands and a tattoo of some sort (possibly his kids’ initials) on his upper arm. No actual six pack to be seen behind the slight beer belly hanging over the top of his ill-fitting denim. Read More »

He Said/She Said: He Took The Number and Never Called

My friend met a great guy last weekend. They hung out at the bar and when it closed he walked her home. When they arrived at her place, they sat on her stoop and talked, flirted, laughed.

It wasn’t until the sun started coming up (and she realized she had to be at her internship in the AM), that they realized how long they had been out there. He took her number, gave her a kiss and went on his merry way. She was excited…until a week went by with no word from him.

She couldn’t understand what happened. I couldn’t help her, either. So, I turned to experts in the field of douchey boys: my guy friends. They have helped before – I was sure they could explain the situation this time, too.

He Said:
When a guy asks a girl for her number and never calls back, a few things might be happening. First, he might have been involved in a fatal beer bong accident, and be buried six-feet under by the time the obligatory three days have passed. But that’s unlikely.

Another, more likely, option is that after he sobered up, he realized that the girl was actually some type of human-beast hybrid and his buddies asked him WTF he was thinking, pretty much eliminating any chance of getting in touch. Or he just forgot he’d gotten the girl’s number altogether until it was too late. Drinking might be a good social lubricant, but it’s not the best ingredient for long-term planning. Read more

He Said / She Said: Are Thongs Really The Way To Go?

Society has been telling women for years that the sexiest thing to sport under just about anything is a thong. But what do guys really think? What do they really want to see when they shimmy that girl out of her newest pair of skinnies? Or, do they even really care? I mean…they got our pants off. Isn’t that enough?

He Said:
Guys don’t really know much about women’s underwear past “This type gives me a boner, that type doesn’t.” When you’re in high school (or from Long Island), thongs are the best thing this side of Steak and a Blow Job Day–mainly because the tops of thongs usually pop up above girls’ pants, drawing our eyes and attention directly to the butt part of the body, flooding our imaginations with arrest-worthy thoughts.

Still, some (adult) dudes will tell you they like the thong best–on certain girls. But nowadays, it’s all about the boy-shorts. These fantastic bottoms create a magical under-ass area that does wonders for a man’s mood–if you’re depressed, just ask your girl to throw on a pair, you’ll see what I mean. They look good on girls of all shapes and sizes, are nice to touch when we’re fooling around, and are perfect attire for the WiiFit. Ladies, if you only have one type of underwear (which you don’t), make it boy-shorts–we’ll never complain. Read more

The Unknown Benefits of Exercise

We all know the obvious reasons to lace up the Nikes and sweat it out at the gym: calories burned, harder abs, a flatter ass, a better shape, weight loss, etc. Those are all well and good, but there are many rarely-mentioned benefits to working out that are even more important to your body.Daily exercise:

Improves Memory: Working out boosts blood flow to the brain, which improves your mental abilities. So, each trip to the gym is doing double duty: working your quads and your brain! Exercising is a sure-fire preventative measure to keep your brain working and sharp as you age.

Helps You Sleep Better: This seems like such an obvious one — working out makes you tired, so you sleep – but it’s deeper than that. Physical activity for 20-30 minutes 3-4 times a week has been proven to help you stay asleep longer and enjoy more of the deep sleep, which is the stuff we benefit most from. But, the workouts have to be in the morning or afternoon, because exercising at night will energize you too much to sleep. Read more

PDADD (Puff Daddy Against Drunk Driving)

Good news! The roads are safe again. No more drunken Nicole Richie cruising the Pacific Coast Highway the wrong way. I bet you think it’s because she’s a mom now and, therefore, is either, A) too responsible and motherly to do that, or B) too busy changing diapers to go out and party.Guess again.

I mean, I guess that could have something to do with it. But what if I told you that the streets – and everyone walking/driving on ‘em – were also safe from Paris, Britney and Lohan? I know, I know; when pigs fly. Or, perhaps, when P-Diddy decides to take on yet another business venture.

Obviously, his clothing line/record company/MTV show/hunt for an assistant/being a (Puff) daddy aren’t enough for the mogul; Mr. Combs has now decided to add a transportation company to the mix. And not just any transportation company – this one is focused solely on getting (rich and famous) people home from the bar. Read more

iRecycling: Easier Than You Think!

It happens every year. School ends, your lease runs its course and its time to pack up all your sh*t and move out. In doing so, you discover things you haven’t seen since the day you moved in: that old camera (filed with embarrassing photos from that frat party during welcome week), the cell phone you dropped in the toilet and all those empty printer cartridges from finals first semester.

You consider selling everything on Craigslist… or you could just toss that crap in a hefty bag and leave it for the management company to tow away to the nearest landfill. You’d choose number two, didn’t you? Well, Al Gore would be quite upset with you, Captain Contaminator.

According to Greenpeace, 50 million tons of e-waste is thrown into landfills every year. And that number is growing fast. Not only is this a lot of extra trash in the dumps, but computers, cell phones, and other electronics leak and contaminate ground water supplies. Read more

College: Getting In Is About To Get Easier

In high school I kept busy. I took dance classes four days a week, was a member (and eventually editor) of my high school yearbook, served on the regional board for my youth group, took numerous AP classes, tutored at the middle school and worked long into the night to keep up my GPA.

Looking back, I don’t know how I did it all without serious drugs; I was crazy. But, at the time, I knew exactly what I had to do to set myself apart from everyone else in my class in order to get into my first choice college.

I know I wasn’t alone alone. I’m sure there are many people reading this right now and thinking, “Yup. Same story for me…except I was also on the tennis and softball teams!” We all did what we had to do. With more kids applying to college than ever before, the competition was fierce; what other choice did we have?

Then there were the unfortunate ladies (and I know there are lots of you) that are reading this and thinking to themselves, “That is all you did? I was also class president and helped the starving children in Somalia and still didn’t get into my #1!”

I feel for you guys, I really do. And if you happen to be one of those bitter students who did all that work and was forced to go to your second choice school, stop reading now because you are going to get pissed. Read more

What Guys Do Wrong In the Bedroom… According to a Girl

I am 22 years old. I tend to be attracted to older men. And still, I find myself hooking up with men who have absolutely no clue what they are doing in bed.

I don’t mean little things, like being unable to unzip my dress with one hand, or getting all tangled in the sheets forcing us to pause the action in order to perform a rescue. Those little things I can overlook.

What I can’t overlook is a Law Student’s inability to last longer than 3 minutes. Or to figure out where on earth a woman’s clitoris is.

What is the problem here? Did these boys learn nothing from sex education? And what about common sense? I mean, come on, who ever thought pushing a girl’s head towards your nether regions was a good form of foreplay? Read more

Steve Jobs Likes ‘Em Skinny

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I spent a good portion of yesterday refreshing numerous technology blogs as Steve Jobs gave his keynote speech at the annual MacWorld.

Please don’t judge me.

It is just that since acquiring my iPhone, I have grown more and more obsessed with Apple products. They are so white. And shiny. And pretty. Oh, and I also wanted to see if Mr. Jobs had addressed my personal iPhone issue of searching through contacts on the phone…which he did not. So, if you happen to know Steve Jobs personally, please let him know that I am still waiting.

Anyways, besides the awesome news that iTunes will now be offering movie rentals – perfect to download to your iPod video/classic/touch/iPhone/laptop for long plane rides – the Mac Daddy introduced his brand new baby: The MacBook Air.

This thing is like the Nicole Richie of laptops. Super duper skinny. And oh so chic. Read more

How to Get the Big Bucks

When I came to college, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my future. So, being young and naïve I decided to major in English. My thought process: an English degree can get me into any grad program and basically get me any job I would ever want.

Turns out, I made a big (HUGE) mistake.

According to recent stats by some important people at the Wall Street Journal, a major in liberal arts is…well, worthless.

OK, maybe not worthless, but definitely not nearly as valuable as majoring something a little more 21st century. Just check out these stats for first year earnings in various fields:

Accounting: $46,000
Consulting: $47,000
Aerospace: $54,000
Engineering: $49,000
Retail: $34,000
Education: $30,000
Journalism: $23,000

Depressing, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be. Read more

Turn Her On

For women, sex isn’t just about the actual sex. It’s about the whole mind and body experience. To make us really want you, we suggest you follow a few tips:

1) Set the mood. Turn off the TV (it’s distracting), turn down the lights and, hey, even throw on some sexy music. This atmosphere will really entice her.

2) Prolong foreplay. It’s true; women love real foreplay. This means that jumping right to the clitoris won’t work for her. Take your time. Slowly make your way south, lightly touching, massaging and caressing the entire body. Trust us; she’ll be hot for you.

3) Be an amazing kisser. Too much saliva can be a real mood-killer. Start out gently brushing her lips and then deepen the kiss, making it more passionate. She will be putty in your hands.

4) Speak up. Women love compliments. Make her feel even sexier between kisses by telling her she’s beautiful.

The extra work will be worth the wait. She will be hornier than ever.

Why Everyone Should Get It On in the Morning

After talking to my friend about his latest foray into the dating world – and his love for early morning sex – I started thinking.

Not that it takes much to get me thinking about sex. Since I am not having any. And everywhere I look it seems that people are having it. All. The. Time.

I remember the first time I ever had an early morning romp. I climbed into bed with my then boyfriend, set the alarm for class the following morning, and fell asleep. I was awoken the following morning not by my alarm clock, but by a very delicious nibbling on my ear. Followed by an even more delicious round of sex that may have acted as the alarm clock for the rest of my (8) roommates.

Then I ate 2 bowls of cereal, a few waffles and grabbed a bag of pretzels on my way to class. And it all tasted so good. In fact, everything was so much better that morning: the birds were singing, the sun was shining, and I was in a great mood. Even with 3 straight hours of lecture and a night of paper writing at the library ahead of me.

Other people noticed the difference, too: Read more

Real World Lesson 4562: Finding an Apartment

Oh, graduates.

Moving back in with the parents after graduation is normal. You are deeply depressed, broke and not quite ready to face the harsh realities that come after 4 glorious college years. At least this is what I told myself.

Your boxes are still packed and piled not-so-neatly in your parents’ garage. Your bedroom floor is covered in pictures (that you cry over every night before bed), drafts of your resume and, of course, already-read issues of US Weekly and (recently deceased) Jane Magazine.

Unfortunately, it is now officially the middle of the summer and it is time to get that ass in gear. No more devoting your days to tanning poolside. No more evenings spent on the phone with friends who are also living at home and avoiding the real world.

It is time to get up and move on. Read more

Making Moolah the Easy Way

Whether you are enjoying the high life that is college – complete with parental support – or collecting change out of the couch just to get that much needed after-work-martini, coming into some extra money is a wonderful thing. Especially when you want one of these or, the newest addiction in my life, the latest version of Guitar Hero. (Note: SERIOUS chick magnet!)

But finding extra money isn’t always so easy. Or fun. Especially if you consider selling your sterm or serving your fellow students in the cafeteria.

I have recently found that my bank account is seriously lacking, but my beer addiction is not. I work over 40 hours a week, but still don’t make enough (yet) to live the way I want to. So, I decided I needed to find ways to come into some money. And while some of you may never want to even consider these options, I have found the following to be the easiest, least stressful and most fitting into any woman’s life.

1. Lawn work for the neighbors. Rake leaves, mow lawns, landscape and so on for the people you know best… your neighbors. You’re outside getting tan, gettin buff and making good cash while you’re at it. Plus you get to make your own hours and techinically you are running your own business. Read more