Farrelly Brothers to Direct “Three Stooges” Movie?

If the Farrelly brothers get their way, a Three Stooges movie will be nyuk-nyuking into theaters soon.

Reported to consist of short vignettes tied together as a comedic compilation (think Paris, Je T’aime with more flour and face-slapping) the film would star four unknowns as the leads.

Four leads? Does that mean Shemp will star amongst the slap-happy trio? I hope not. Read more

Brew Review: Becks Oktoberfest

Is Oktoberfest over? Did it start yet? To me it doesn’t matter – Oktoberfest is whenever I crack open a brew in autumn. And what better way to celebrate the fall holiday than with Becks Oktoberfest?

Well, there are a few brews worth buying before Becks seasonal suds, according to the beer’s malty/nutty flavor with a large emphasis on hops, like most Oktoberfest-inspired selections.

Becks Oktoberfest is a bronze-colored brew that feels nice and crisp when drinking it during cool weather. While it’s not as malty as most Oktoberfest beer it holds up fairly well for Beck’s standard.

Since I’m complaining – complaining about beer, what a foolish concept – Beck’s Oktoberfest is also a tad too “hoppy” for my tastes.

But I digress. How does it hold up after pounding down a few?

After a quick six-pack I yearned for a more complex seasonal brew, due to the beer’s smoothness. Once heavily buzzed I didn’t care anymore; probably more about me being buzzed than the flavor getting…better. Read more

Led Zeppelin’s Catalog on iTunes – Is It Worth Purchasing?

Old fogies and teenage victims of classic rock epiphanies have reason to celebrate, as Led Zeppelin’s catalog will be on iTunes November 13 in the form of one, downloadable catalog. Priced at $99, Led Zep’s package includes every album the band released, 165 songs in total.

Led Zeppelin is, by all accounts, an essential band. You already know that and therefore have owned their entire discography – or at least their Greatest Hits album – since childhood. So why buy what you already own? Haven’t even the most casual listeners of rock memorized every lyric, every riff?

If you don’t own any album by Led Zeppelin by all means go purchase Led Zeppelin I and IV immediately, then round out your collection with II and III. Houses of the Holy and Physical Graffiti are somewhat patchy by comparison but still worth picking up.

There’s far too much music to be heard for fans of classic rock – especially fans of Led Zeppelin. While music tastes are completely objective, I’ve offered up my four recommendations if you’re a fan of heavy rock with a blues influence…all available for download on iTunes. Read more

The Daily Shocker: Tom Hanks is Lost in MySpace

Tom Hanks, 51, has a real down-to-earth, normal MySpace page, complete with tell-all blogs and video. And get this: he pimped out his profile all by himself! You know something’s wrong with the world when Tom Hanks is the second most-famous “Tom” on MySpace.

To safeguard yourself from knocking-up your girl turn to the Lady Comp, a device that detects if a girl is ovulating or not. It looks like an alarm clock. The future is now.

Some teachers teach, some have sexual relations with their students; others blow the f*** up on their students at the drop of a dime.

These analogies are surreal, like a Keebler elf skiing down a citrus mountain.

When an adolescent game of “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” is documented on a cell phone, child-on-child pornography happens.

Give the SNL actor/drummer some!

When your country is down and out the always-reliable “hot babes in bikinis” route works wonders.

James Lipton, American Pimp in France

I have always stood up for the misunderstood James Lipton, host and creator of Inside the Actor’s Studio. This guy has the absolute driest sense of humor – so dry that most think he’s just uptight.

Nothing could be farther from the truth, according to Lipton’s memoir Inside Inside and his interview on Late Night with Conan O’ Brien, in which he told stories of pimping hoes in France along with late-night kinky escapades with…Barbara Walters?

If you’ve hated on Lipton in the past, watch the following clip and realize the error of your ways:

Top Ten Trashiest Celebrities

Money can buy everything – except class.

As many high-powered, million-dollar celebs have proven, you can’t take the trash out of the trailer park. No amount of PR primping and upper-class etiquette will change the following celebrities love for all that’s ignorant, greasy and grimy, y’all!

Check out the Top 10 after the jump! Read more

Air Out Your Dorm, You Slob!

Ah, to be independent from your parents and siblings – it’s freedom that most college students aren’t ready for, believe it or not. Case in point: you live like a slob ’cause your mom always did your laundry, and your idea of clean is hiding a mess until the smell becomes so repugnant that calling the fumigators may be a lost cause.

Living with like-minded slobs doesn’t help matters. It’s all fun and games until you find yourself less likely to sleep at home and more likely to crash on somebody else’s couch. You have a dorm/apartment so utilize it, you slob!

Here are some convenient and affordable tips to keep your living area clean:

Buy toiletries in bulk

I know the first thing you’re thinking is “What the f*** are toiletries?” Well, “toiletries” is French (or something) for “bathroom stuff” like toilet paper, bathroom spray, shampoo, conditioner, cotton swabs, toothpaste – you know, that stuff you’ve never bought yourself.

Somewhere within a 20 mile radius from your living space is a Wal-Mart, or even better, Sam’s Club. Take a weekend trip with the roomies twice a month to stock up on all the essentials for cheap. If there’s no super-savings store near you – or if you don’t have any source of transportation – ask that guy/gal who goes home every weekend (there’s always one) if they can pick you up a bundle of bathroom stuff. Tip ‘em nice and you’re in the clear with a clear conscience.

One more thing: use the products; don’t just stock them up for show. Read more

COED Music Video: Kenna “Say Goodbye to Love”

After years of incompetent singer/dancer nobodies clamming up R&B comes Kenna, protege of Pharrell Williams (Neptunes, N.E.R.D. and Star Trak records).

Kenna grafts the electro of Neptunes’ early millennium work with DFA’s gold-standard dancepunk – think Rapture dry-humping “Le Chic” with sexy results.

The Daily Shocker: Kamikaze Squirrel Destroys Car!

Story of the year thus far: a squirrel in suburban New Jersey gnaws on an electric wire, bursts into flames, plummets down into an unsuspecting car’s engine compartment and blows it up. (NJ.com)

Cocktail Psychology: what does your drink say about you? (College Candy)

USF Bulls have become the underdogs to watch in college football. (The Big Lead)

Britney Spears runs over a paparazzo’s foot. This marks the first time in months that Brit’s not the most hated person in a story about herself. (YouTube)

Deaf rapper Terry Richards throws up different kinds of signs. (Stuff)

Super Cool Trend Alert: Braille Tattoos

If a blind person has a more acute sense of touching, then why not cater to their attribute by giving them a tattoo they can feel? And I mean feel.

Klara Jirkova, a student at the University of Arts in Berlin, has created the “Braille Tattoo,” a series of surgically implanted “bumps” made of either steel, titanium or plastic placed under the skin.

Once the material is implanted under the skin reading the Braille tattoo is as easy as running your fingers over the surface.

Jirkova hopes that this new form of tattoo will be used as a casual source of identification – a handshake followed by a hand-scan. Read more

The Daily Shocker: R.I.P. Rat Pack

Joey Bishop, the last living member of the Rat Pack, died today at 89. Don’t worry, Joey – heaven will be waiting with martinis, lounge music and broads upon your arrival. (Yahoo)

Hannah Montana tour tickets are in demand; Ticketmaster blames demand on brokers for reselling tickets at over twice their original value (front row for $2500 a pop). That’s insane…Hannah Montana tickets are in demand? Who the f*** is Hannah Montana? (College Candy)

This guy is taking cat naps to a whole new level. (Daily Mail UK)

In the event that a cop pulls you over, pull out your ID…not hashish. (Gulf Daily News)

Cigarettes taxed more to reduce sales of cigarettes to impressionable youth. (CNS News)

Super Cool Trend Alert: Modding Your Bike

I’ll cut to the quick: bicycles are pretty cool, but super-duper modded bikes with track lighting, superfluous attachments, wings, pulleys and even grocery cart add-ons are easily the coolest thing the world has ever seen.

A few days ago I witnessed a motorcade of tricked-out bicycles speed down the usually-unspectacular 8th Avenue in New York City…and it was like whaaaaaaaat.

I was jealous. My last bike was a Huffy (spray-painted gold, of course) back when I was a young lad. Time to start saving money for a “Grocycle.”

Check out a gallery of the sickest modded cycles after the jump. Read more

Top (Outdoor) Activities to Do While Stoned

Nothing is greater than rolling up a primo joint and smoking it with friends – but what next? What do you do? Do you sit on your couch and get genius highdeas that will never come to fruition? Maybe. Do you watch a goofy comedy or a surreal, mind-bending film? Perhaps.

But what about – dun, dun, dun – going outdoors? Crazy idea, huh? Not so crazy when you’re out of your gourd with like-minded adventurers.

I know, I know – you’re paranoid and lazy. That might have something to do with you being trapped in your dorm or the broom closet you call an apartment. Get the f*** outside and make a good name for stoners worldwide, you pot-addled slacker! Read more

Amateur Entrepreneurs: The Worst Thing Ever

Back in Ye Olde Tinseltown days, most top-earning stars were stellar actors, singers and dancers, with none of the skills being a crutch to support a lack of talent.

Celebrities were, for the most part, blue-collar workers for the public, earning their fame by signing on to numerous films at once, rigorously training and studying various fields in the name of entertainment.

Fast forward 30-odd years and Flavor of Love‘s New York is famous for being a outspoken bitch slathered in pancake makeup; Paris Hilton puts out an perfume ’cause, uh, why not; Sanjaya Malakar is praised for his “great spirit” while butchering the simplest of songs; Dane Cook sells out Stadiums with arm-farts and aimless crowd whooping.

The worst of it? These hacks not only suck at their day jobs: they find it necessary to plague other fields of entertainment by becoming entrepreneurs. Read more