Brew Review: Samuel Adams Winter Lager

When I’m holed up indoors during the winter months I find myself appreciating the taste of beer far more than any other season. Mark it up to cabin fever if you want, but my taste buds pucker up in cold weather.

Samuel Adams Winter Lager, one of the brewing company’s many great season-specific beers, doesn’t disappoint in my constant need for a well-bodied, alcoholic beverage in cool weather.

Housed in a deep-caramel color, Sam Adams Winter Lager pours a thin but lasting head that’s holds surprisingly well for a beer of its kind. Upon first gulp, the taste of citrus and spices was apparent, which paired well with the toasted malt finish. While I’m no expert at beer tasting I found the flavors easily recognizable without being too overbearing on heavy flavors.

When a beer of this nature features so many different flavors, it’s important to keep carbonation to a minimum, which Winter Lager does. Clean and crisp, the mouthfeel is very well-balanced, going down smooth without any one flavor dominating.

Sam sure has a knack for making a complex taste come across simple and drinkable, which may be why casual beer drinkers and experts both agree on the brand most of the time.

One can dispute the merits of Sam Adams Winter Lager when comparing to pricier brews; I’m sure the boys at Sam know that as well. I applaud Sam Adams (and their Winter Lager in particular) for making beer for the people, by the people.

Let the extreme beer snobs sip away – I’ll be six-deep in Winter Lager, thank you very much.

Samuel Adams Winter Lager stats:

Tastes like: toasted hops, spicy grains and whatnot

Smells like: spicy, citrus delight – a man’s potpourri

Alcohol content: 5.80% – not too shabby

Winter is Here! It’s Time to Style That Facial Hair

This winter, forget the clean-shaven look of summer and sport the facial hair. Varying this aspect of your image during cold weather gives you several opportunities to mix things up. You’ll enjoy finding new cost-effective ways to reinvent yourself. Even better, you’ll find the ladies loving the new you.

Heavy stubble

Though you may not think it counts, heavy stubble is an effortlessly fashionable facial hair style for winter; plus, it provides a trendy, low-maintenance alternative to those styles that require more attention. Also, heavy stubble offers a perfect strategy for guys who are constantly dealing with a heavy beard. With its no-fuss appearance, this rakish option creates a laid-back image that errs on the side of ease. But if you still need convincing, look to the rugged styling of Zachary Quinto; his heavy stubble puts a disheveled brilliance on his impeccable style.

So, go ahead and augment your winter wardrobe with some casual elegance and sport the heavy stubble.

What this facial hair style says about you: Easygoing and unassuming, you own a masculine, dapper appearance that’s devoid of being overly invested in maintaining a pristine pretty-boy appearance.

There are more facial hair styles for winter at Askmen.

Brew Review: Stella Artois

On the rare instance I make it to Happy Hour, my choice of beer is usually one that can take the edge off without being too expensive (and complex) or too cheap (and cheap-tasting). I’d say eight times out of ten, Stella Artois does the job.

The pride of Belgium pours a light golden color with plenty of frothy head and bubbles; a grassy, citrus scent gives way to a smell of slightly skunked beer, which isn’t very attractive to say the least. Still, its distinct stink is similar to almost every Euro Pale Lager I’ve encountered, so methinks its hereditary…

Drinking a Stella ice-cold is recommended, as its high carbonation gives it that trademark Stella bite. The taste is slightly bitter, giving way to a light malt flavor that is very refreshing – perfect for those days when casual beer drinking can lead to a long night.

As a pre-game beer, it’s close to perfect: ease in with some Stellas and move on to greener pastures…or stay green.

Stella may be nothing more than a typical Euro Pale Lager for those in the know. To me, ignorance is bliss at times: diving deep into beer appreciation makes some forget that not everybody wants a sophisticated beer; sometimes a good beer at a great value is more than acceptable.

Stella Artois stats:

Smells like: a citrus skunk

Tastes like: a light (and somewhat bitter) standard Euro Pale Ale

Alcohol content: 5.20%, perfect for pre-gaming

“Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is the Greatest Christmas Song of All Time

It’s indisputable: “Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is not only the greatest Christmas song of all time, but the greatest song of all time, period.

I’m not even joking: check the heavy as f*** main riff, 70′s glam-rock moves and of course, the most bad-a** lyrics and melodies ever penned by puppets. This makes stoner-rock groups like Black Sabbath and Deep Purple sound like Smash Mouth by comparison.

So what if the lyrics don’t deal directly with Christmas. Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas, the movie the song is featured in, is a holiday movie; it’s festive by default. And it totally destroys Emmet’s entry into the talent show, the lame-o “In Our World/Brothers.”

Check out the mind-blowing lyrics after the jump! Read more

COED Vault: The World Sexual Relationship Database

As far as W.H.O.M. (World Health Optimization Management) is concerned, it’s a great idea to publish the sexual history of every human being in existence on the web for all to see.

The World Sexual Relationship Database is a user-run website that’s much easier to maintain than the crumpled-up “list” most dudes jot down on a piece of paper every few months/weeks/years. The layout is simple; it’s contents deep. Well, not deep yet.

When typing in my name, no partners popped up – meaning that I’M A VIRGIN. How could this happen? In this pissing-contest above all pissing-contests I’m embarrassed…and somehow relieved. Nobody must know about my one-night stand with a wrinkled, floppy-breasted Ukrainian mother doused in Vodka and regret. Whoops…

So, how accurate are these lists? Not very, according to my search on herpes-homeboy Derek Jeter. His listing only shows sexual connections to James Massengill and Alex Rodriguez – not the most reliable site of web sex stats, are we World Sexual Relationship Database? Then again, their Paris Hilton listing is much more telling… Read more

The Big Hurt Told to Beat-it!

The Toronto Blue Jays released slumping designated hitter Frank Thomas Sunday, cutting the 19-year veteran loose one day after he was angry for being taken out of the lineup.

Somehow Thomas did not think being hitless in his past 13 at-bats, going 4-for-35. Despite being known as a slow starter and batting .167 with three homers and 11 RBIs for Toronto this season, Thomas got sent on his way.

General manager J.P. Ricciardi said he and Thomas came to “a mutual agreement” after meeting in the clubhouse early Sunday. “Our best opportunity is to put other guys in the lineup at this point,” Ricciardi said. “Obviously, reduced playing time is not something that he was interested in. In order to let him go forward and get on with his career, I think it’s fair to do it at this point.” Read more

Roof Jump Goes Horribly Bad

This guy attempts to body slam his buddy from his roof but misses the landing and bounces off the ground hard.

Today is National High Five Day

If you’re up to snuff on your odd holidays, you should be aware that every third Thursday of April is National High Five Day, meaning TODAY IS NATIONAL HIGH FIVE DAY.

This is huge news. Monumental stuff, here.

Sure, the point of the day is to high-five somebody, but what makes it all the more special is that the fivee should be a complete stranger, as the NHF website says in its mission statement:

“Imagine that while on your way to class, you pass a dignified looking middle-aged man in a suit. You, of course, are wearing the same underwear as yesterday, a pair of pants off your floor, and a T-shirt with something ironic printed on it. Instead of noticing this respectable pillar of society fifteen seconds or so before your interaction is fated to occur, and lowering your head to avoid his disapproving scowl, you take another course of action.

You confidently walk forward, and at the moment of passing, you and the businessman simultaneously raise your hands and wordlessly high-five. The sound of the perfect high five resonates, causing those nearby to silently and enviously take notice. You both walk on, and likely relate the story to whomever you eat dinner with that night. There is no reason why this should not happen with alarming frequency.”

I won’t lie and say that I myself knew about National High Five Day before this very morning (thanks Google Trends!) , but now it will become as important as my own birthday, something worth celebrating once a year. So walk by a random passerby and give them a high-five!

“The Babysitters” Movie Trailer

The Babysitters is a 2007 independent film directed by David Ross. It stars John Leguizamo, Cynthia Nixon and Katherine Watterson. The story follows a teenager who turns her babysitting service into a call girl service for married men after fooling around with one of her customers.

Props to Videogum for finding it!

Scarlett Johansson’s First Available Track: “Anywhere I Lay My Head”

The fine folks at Stereogum have linked up to Scarlett Johannson’s first song off her upcoming album of Tom Waits’ covers, titled Anywhere I Lay My Head. The title track has been leaked online, and the verdict is…well, you tell me. What do you expect from ScarJo?

It’s emotionally cold and vague comparing to the original — it’s no easy feat to eclipse the World’s Greatest Carnival Barker — but not as bad as one would expect, all depending on your expectations (not very high to begin with, here). Still, you be the judge.

Listen to “Anywhere I Lay My Head” here.

“The Mclovin’ Fund” with Kristen Bell and Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Another PSA from Judd Apatow with Forgetting Sarah Marshall‘s Kristen Bell and Superbad‘s Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Made for the “Night of Too Many Stars” benefit for Autism Education.

Reversing the Curse: Red Sox Jersey Excavated From Yankee Stadium

In one of the funnier stories in sports, a construction worker/Yankee hater/Red Sox lover working on the Yankees new stadium planted a David Ortiz jersey under the concrete foundation. Needless to say, the Yanks and their fans weren’t too happy about the prank.

Gino Castignoli, the Benedict Arnold of New York, could face criminal and civil charges if the people have their way.

If I had it my way, a bronze statue of Castignoli would be erected in Yawkey Way for all Sox fans to admire.

Should he be fined? Certainly, seeing that it cost $50,000 to excavate the jersey from the site — but jail time? Give me a break. Castignoli himself said “Anybody with half a brain knows it was all done in fun. I didn’t hurt nobody.”

I know Yankee fans want revenge for their precious team — to be fair, Sox fans would probably plea for the Death Sentence in a similar situation — but it’s all part of being a fan, folks. It’s just a sport at the end, be it the sport itself or the sport of dissing your rival team. Let’s not cry over cracked concrete.

Read more

Kobe Bryant Jumps an Aston Martin

Real or fake, either way it’s rad:

Wilford Brimley Diabeetus Remix

Do you have Diabeetus? Die die die die diabeetus?

Props to GorillaMask for finding this!