How to Not Be a Douchebag at the Bar

A bartender can be the best wingman there is.  He sees it all: the girls you bring in night after night, how loud and annoying you can be when you’re drunk, and how bummed you look when your night blows. He can also turn it around. So don’t get on his bad side. Here’s a guide to not being a douchebag at the bar.

From the Expert

New York bartender Paul Blackwell has slung drinks for celebrities from Penelope Cruz to David Beckham at celebrity haunt Rose Bar.  “‘Tip well as soon as you get to the bar. You will be V.I.P. all night’ is a tried and true maxim, but this only works in certain settings, like if you are sitting at the bar.”  In other words, tipping more than the standard dollar upfront will earn brownie points, but not if you don’t tip for the rest of the night.   And don’t wait ’til the end of the night to tip, because he’ll probably ignore you.

How Much Then? “I prefer and personally practice a dollar per drink, two if you make the bartender muddle,” says Blackwell.  Now that that’s settled…

Get it Right

Oh what to get.  No shame in keeping it simple – Jack and Coke, vodka cranberry.  It’s VODKA cranberry, folks, not cranberry vodka.  Alcohol goes in first. Duh.  And don’t go ordering those 1920s cocktails.  We all know you have no clue what a sidecar is.

Fake Tippers …

are not welcome.   Times are tough, they get it.   But you know, those schmucks who fiddle around in their wallet, then walk away?  They get in back of the line, right behind finger snapper.  This will only get you rude treatment in front of your friends the next time around; bartenders have freakishly good memories.   If you can’t afford the extra bucks to get on their good side, pre-game at home.  You just saved $20 right there.

Get It Straight

Have your order and cash ready.  These guys are crazed, and will remember who makes their lives a bit easier.   And don’t wait until he’s done to ask for “another one of those.”  Back of the line you go.

Guys, the Sexy Bartender …

will probably NOT go home with you.   Even you think she might.  Even if she makes you think she might.  Girls, the hot male bartender probably will.

Rewards Program

So why do all this?  Now that you’re in with the “chief,” you can start laying down your tracks.  If you’re a regular at a bar, sending a drink over to a girl is a bold and scary proposition at any time.  Flattering?  Always.  But worth it?  Iffy.  Get the bartender – your median man – to first dig up some info on that girl you got your eye on.  Is she single?  Is her boyfriend a schmuck?  Does she want to sleep with you? (Well maybe hold off on that one.)

Safety in Numbers

If you or any of your buds are having a night out, ask the bartender to hook you up for a special “group rate” with drink specials or open bars.  That will make him look good to his boss for bringing in big business, (especially in this crappy economy) and makes you leverage your group for door privileges and discounts.  All things that will help you bring your A-game next time around.  Cheers.

6 Ways To Screw Up Online Dating

Say what you will about online dating — it’s creepy, full of killers, just plain dumb. But it’s a sign of the times, gentlemen, and yields more value than trolling around Facebook looking for former classmates gone fat. At the rate you’re going, you’re just a hair away from winding up on DontDateHimGirl.com.   Here’s how to look better on what is – OK fine – a little sad and borderline shady activity.  Just tell that to the millions of people who’ve had success on there.  Follow these tips and you might be one of them.

1.  Snapshot

Guys love to say they don’t have many pictures of themselves, so they often post portraits of everything from their junior prom to first failed marriage.   But c’mon, your senior picture…from high school?  Do you really think she’s not going to figure out how way off it is when you meet?

Rule of thumb: If she couldn’t pick you out of a police lineup from your profile pic, don’t go with that one.   Ditto for token self-taken cell phone shots in the mirror.  They don’t make you look “so cool” that you can’t be bothered with this.  Instead, you look a creepy loner ‘cause you have no one else around to take a damn picture for you.  Best to sport a normal shot without other dudes around, especially if they’re hot.  I mean, that’s just not right.

2.    Shirtless Pics

OK, so the first question that comes to mind is: Why are you naked?  Truth be told, this may actually work for some of you semi-naked people — if you want an equally naked chick in her profile.  But the bottom line remains: To the vast majority of the population, a shirtless guy with a big tan and (usually) buff bod screams A) full of himself, B) Needs to prove himself, which could be a problem down the line C) “The Situation,” which may or may not be bad depending on how you feel about fist pumps.

3. Ex’s and Oh (… brother)

At a club, it might be great if hot girl is rubbing up on you … if you ease past her — for us.   But on a profile, there’s no need to post an engagement-style or bar photo of you and a past flame.  The girl may make “Jersey Shore” girls look like Miss America, but that doesn’t matter.  Surely you can find a way to flaunt the one thing we’re evaluating: you.

4. First-Email Proposals

Let’s be real: flattery gets you everywhere.  So tell every girl her pictures are beautiful and her profile stands out in the abyss on online dating.  You’ll make her smile.  But you still don’t know this girl.  Laying it on too thick will sound disingenuous or even a little crazy.  Though laying it on too little could sound generic. Best to make like you read her damn profile, liked it, and even lie and say why she stands out.  Most people have insecurities, and if she didn’t, being on a dating site should do it.

5. The Talk All You Want Plan

… gets you nowhere — if you haven’t met.  You could be Hemingway in prose, J. Timberlake on the phone, Tiger Woods on text, and have your wedding planned before the first date. But when you meet, all of that goes out the window … and you start from square one.  Chris Rock once said, “When you meet someone for the first time, you don’t meet them, you meet their representative.” Their representative is even more misleading online.  So just meet.  It’s a more realistic assessment and less waste of your time.

6. Down and Out / “I’m Bored”

Sure, not everyone’s Little Miss Sunshine. We get it.  But before someone knows the good about you, it’s easy to walk away at the first signs of woeful complaining about girls you don’t want to meet, or being overly negative about life or anything else.  It’s not being fake, it’s feeling out your audience.  In this case, they’re perfect strangers who you’re trying to attract.  So lay off the whining until she breaks down and complains about everything under the sun.  Then you can jet, or let it all out.

5 Ways to Screw Up the Dating Game

Dating is a strange thing:  You open yourself up to a complete stranger …to potentially be a big player in  your life. Yet you totally don’t know this person.  Imagine the biggest jerk from high school who had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Chances are, if you met this person out one night, you would have no sense of what a crappy person she could really be.  Sometimes, it’s just not your fault when someone else sucks. But you can safeguard against some pitfalls.  After all, if you are a better dater, you’ll attract better dates.  So here you go.

1. Texting in the Middle of the Night.

Yeah, yeah.  We’re oh-so-flattered that you think of us in the dead of night – when you’re lonely, out drinking, lusting for us in every annoying girl you talk to.  Except no, we’re not.

Anyone over the age of 19 knows that texting is the easiest way for guys to string along a bevy of meaningless flings with minimal effort.

So if you actually like a girl, text her during “normal people” hours.  First thing in the morning, she might think she’s the first thing on your mind.  Late night is obnoxious.  But the afternoon/early evening is a safe bet that you’re in a proper state of mind.

As for time frame between texts:  If you like her, reply quickly. Girls on the other hand are allowed a lag time. We’re primming to look cute and sexy for you, after all.

2.  Off The Boat Emails.

Unless you’re munching on some new-found American freedom fries and waiting for a visa, then at least pretend that you learned a damn thing in school.

If a girl writes a dating profile or an email in perfectly normal English, don’t respond with “HEY WATS UP SEXY HOW U DOIN IM JOE.  U GOT AIMM OR MSN” (taken from an actual email).  Delete.

We can’t all write for the Times, fine.  But surely, you must know someone who speaks English. If that doesn’t work, then look at what your competition’s writing and build on that.  No harm in benefiting from other people’s intelligence.

3. Last Minute Dates

Not to be confused with “Insta-Dates,” cleverly coined by “The Game” author, Neil Strass, where you take a girl out directly from the venue where the two of you just met – bypassing all cheesy innuendos and misconstrued dating game crap in between.  That, dear lads, is genius.

No, last-minute dates are waiting until your plans fall through, or when you see that clearly nothing else better will come along, and then asking a girl what she’s up to.  One winner once texted a girl – whom he had never met – at 10 p.m. on a Friday night to say that he was putting in a DVD, if she wanted to join him.  Douche.

You may not be a jerk.  But too bad – the real jerks screwed things up for you, so now you have to play on their turf.  Make plans at least a day or two in advance.  And if you must cancel last-minute, don’t ever do it by text … with a smiley face.  You need to grow a pair eventually.  Might as well start now.

4. $30,000 Millionaires

Notice how top sports players always credit their entire team for a great game?  A star jock may think his team is totally useless, but he’s at least trained to say otherwise.  Why?  Because if he doesn’t, he’ll come off as a prick.  Learn from this.

Don’t brag — about your job, about your money, about your baby mama.  Nothing.  You’ll come off boring, insecure or as an exaggerator, all of which you may not be. You may want to impress her, but in some twisted way, it’s more exciting if that info comes out on its own.  This is not like an interview where you need to sell yourself … right now.

Girls want to see how good you can make them feel about themselves.  So look amazed by the fact that she can do anything looking as good as she does. Isn’t it better when people just happen to find out how irresistible you are, anyway?  If a girl is smart and not totally self-absorbed, she’ll find out about your accolades.  We always do.

5. Baby, Baby, Baby

It didn’t work for Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, à la Reese Witherspoon’s slamming the door in his face, so this sweet talk won’t work for you.  Guys like to feel comfortable with the girls they like, whereas girls want guys to stay on edge a little so you don’t stop “trying.”  So save the “hun,” “sweetheart,” and “babe” for a little down the line.  Otherwise, you’ll come off like a douche.  And we generally don’t care for those.   Sorry, honey.

10 Job Hunting Tips for the Broke and Unemployed

Networking, networking, networking.  We’ve all heard that stat that like, 99 percent of jobs aren’t listed – they’re found through networking.    Problem is, for most people, networking is about as welcome as near-pregnancies.

But now with more dogs employed than college students, you have to do something.   In fact, a 2010 MonsterCollege Survey from Monster.com found that more than half of students surveyed (52 percent) said they knew the economy would be a huge road block in finding a job, up from 40 percent in 2009; only 32 percent (down from 45 percent) think they’ll receive a starting salary higher than $36,000.

Sad but true: of those moving back home with mom and dad, 31 percent of those surveyed expect to live at home longer than one year.

With these numbers, you need to add some non-networking tips to your game plan.  If that doesn’t work, we hear the Red Cross is always looking for fresh young blood.

1.    Tweet Tweet

You may think that Twitter is a complete waste of time unless you care what Ashton Kutcher is up to, but the site is an insta-job-hirer if used right.  Sites like TweetMyJobs.com, TwitJobSearch.com and a slew of regional, industry, and niche sites are posting – and hiring – tweeters within minutes.  You cash in on this by replying to tweets with short links to your resume or by going directly to the tweet’s job post, which are posted on the company’s Twitter or Facebook feed.  Still confused?

2.    Craigslist

It’s not just for finding nude housekeepers and the least-crazy roommates on the Web.   Nope.   While they have that too, Craigslist actually features high-quality, big-company jobs with one very big perk — desperation.  As in, these employers’ level of desperation is slightly higher than others, which could yield you a quicker response.  So while you’re on Craigslist looking for a girl, a car, free tickets and a used copy of today’s paper (“with a coffee stain on it”), why not throw “job” in there.   At least you’ll know someone’s on the other end.

3.    Link Me Up, Scotty

While keeping a semi-professional Facebook page (a.k.a. don’t go all Michael Phelps reefer on us) and “Fan Paging” companies you like (that post jobs on their page), your real social networking site for jobs is LinkedIn.

Not only is your profile the go-to URL to your most truthful resume (‘cause it’s public), but the site also tells you who you know in connection to what companies – and jobs – you are searching for.  LinkedIn’s own job search engine is powered by SimplyHired and often links you to the hiring manager in your network.  It’s a catalog of citizens, but really, the only citizens most likely to help you.

Tip #2: Look up 20 companies that you want to work for on LinkedIn and see who works there within your network.  Find the company’s email format using Google, and with lots of guessing and testing, then email people directly.

4.    Rewards Season

Times are tough and creativity wins the prize.  Message everyone you know and offer a reward to whomever helps you land a full-time job.  A friend of mine did this, and while it was odd, it showed tons of initiative and moxie.   (Most people just kinda sit on their ass.)  By offering a steak dinner and frequent flier miles in his plea, he got a slew of contacts, job forwards, and I think even a date.  Bottom line: Everyone should know that you’re looking, because if it’s who you know and not what you know, then you need everyone’s contacts, not just yours.

5.    Fool-Proof Emails

One recent job hire applied to 10 jobs a day for months, finally landing a gig through Monster.com.  If sending out a million resumes like this and crafting concise, targeted cover letters to each, be careful:  The amount of wrongly addressed letters (to, ah hem, other companies) can be mind boggling.

The trick to writing better business emails is constructing them backwards.  Put the recipient’s email address in the subject line at first, until you are ready to send it.  How many times do things get send accidentally, unfinished?  It’s fine to your chump friends.  Not to future employers.

Attach your resume first, so you are sure to not forget.   Write the body.  Check the person’s name and company after all your copy and pasting from previous covers.  Then.  Cut the recipient’s email into the proper line.  And there you go.

6.    School’s Alumni Network

Perhaps the real value of your degree lies here.   Try emailing alumni with a professional, slightly kiss-up overtone.  You want to hear all about their illustrious career and possibly get connected to their hirer for entry-levels (though you don’t actually say that).  Also mention where you have worked, your connections and if you can help them in any way.  Time is precious.  So give them something for theirs.

7.    Volunteer to Not Look Desperate

Job hunting, done right, can be a terrible, terrible lonely process, admitted by a job placement professional.  So to get out of your head and score some real world cred (no need to note “volunteer” if work is legit), get a gig the easiest way – by working for free.   You don’t have to do it full-time, as you need to eat once in a while.  But stories abound about how people have either turned these jobs into full-time gigs or met great contacts to get them ahead.

8.    Crash networking events

So, this one is a tad shady, but look up networking events on Google by city, industry, age-range (like ProsInTheCity.com) and just crash the paid event.  The key is to play dumb, which is very, very easy for most.  If it’s in a private room, sit at the bar or lounge area to catch someone of interest, or to see if you want to cough up the cash for the next event.  Or try a (totally legit and non-shady) free Meetup.com event for job seekers or within your biz.

9.    All-in-One Job Sites

Apply to on-target job ads, but save time by using aggregate job search engines, those that troll thousands of job sites, including Monster and Craigslist plus thousands of company sites and hundreds of newspapers.  Some of the best are Mashable, Indeed, Simplyhired, and Jobster.com.

10.    Buddy System
It’s not just for grade school trips to make sure your little butt didn’t wander off.  Looking for a job can be an overwhelming full-time job in itself.  So enlist a friend to search together without distractions, or remotely check in or update each other daily or weekly with 10+ posts that you’ve applied to or forwarded to each other.  It doesn’t take the suckage out of the process, but at least you’ll know you’re not the only one here.

If all else fails, sell your body.  They always need bodies for something.  (Kidding!)

How to Date a College Cheerleader

 

With basketball season over and summer break just around the corner, your chances of snagging these luscious babes off the sidelines might be a bit warmer.  Find a venue with high visibility and access to college cheerleaders and use these tips from Janie (a football and basketball cheerleader at Boston College) to not blow it and look like a tool when moving in on your prize.

1.  Notice Her.

This ain’t high school anymore.  Her glory days of prancing around in her skimpy uniform on homecoming day are over.  With the size of college student bodies, your girl is going unnoticed and missing her notoriety as a main attraction. Well you get that back to her – pronto.   Compliment her after class or in the dining hall a day or two after the game.  Any longer than that and she’ll think you’ve been scheming for weeks and possibly creep her out.

2.  Dig her stunts.

Her purpose is to get the crowd’s attention.  She works hard and like anyone else, comes down hard if it’s not done right. Appreciate her talent; college cheerleading can run her 20 hours a week with games, events, gymnastics, stunting, dance and cheer practice. Reinforce her impressive moves, and she just might show you some privately.

3.  Play the Fool.

This may not be hard for some of you, but really, look stupid.  She wants to know that her “flip thingy” was like, Damn…the crowd loves that!  She endures injury to perfect those flips, so act in awe of what she does and make her smile with your naïve admiration of her goddessness.  She’ll feel in control and mastery of what she loves, which could reap huge benefits for you post-game.

4.  Bring a kid to ask for her autograph.

Stupid, but it works.  This was my glory moment after one game against U. Conn.  (A flock of little girls ran up to me asking for my John Hancock, and I felt like a god.)  Her pride and ego boost will clog her vision better than beer goggles. Be nonchalant and blame it all on the annoying rug rat.  Do it, and talk it up, chump.  Don’t waste your five bucks bribing the little pip squeak.

5.  Go to the front of the bleachers.

And cheer her on, whistle, scream her name.  But bring some friends so you don’t look completely insane.  She wants to know what she’s doing in front of thousands of people is working.  And happen to “be around” after the game, outside the locker room. Sexual harassment is only harassment if the guy is ugly.  Otherwise, it’s called flirting.

Anatomy of the Bar Scene

You know the deal: You walk in. You see a bunch of peeps, take in the old tap stench and after a few hours, you bounce.  Sometimes you had fun.  Sometimes you wish you’d gone somewhere else.

It’s time to take matters into your own hands.  Why learn about the anatomy of a girl if you can’t even get near it.  You need the Anatomy of the Bar Scene.  Because there are only so many nights you can waste on a lame party.

The Entrance

Great for eying prospects and gauging the night’s potential, it’s the P.O.D (point of decision-making).  One New York club promoter said if crowd is lame (read: too many guys and the girls suck), leave immediately.  Call me an optimist but I say feel it out.  If nothing else, you can warm up your approach on off-targets. But have two to 65 places in mind for backup within the vicinity.  If you’re still not feeling it, bounce to Plan B.

At the Bar

Guys should generally let girls have a seat at the bar, but if you are seated, do so with your body facing slightly outward so you seem more approachable.  Girls need a signal to be able to come order between you and your bud, and know that she’s not distracting you from the game.  Be visible, openly joking with friends, or dancing.  If you’re passive, you’re ignored.

Move Around or Stay Put?

Girls tend to stay put and send signals of whether to approach them.  You should take a spin around and get a feel for the prospects.  If someone catches your eye, stay put and work out an approach.  But if you keep walking past that girl who isn’t interested, you may feel awkward (especially if the place is small).  She’s not worth it and move on to someone who is.

Ladies Room Line

If you’re staying in one spot, make it en route to the ladies room.  On those never-ending queues, she’s forced to stand still and most likely impatiently so.  She may welcome a distraction from awkwardly waiting alone.  Just don’t “confuse her” for someone else; girls don’t like being mistaken for others – unless she looks like a celebrity.  In this approach, you’ll get a better look at her in that dark abyss of beer-soaked floors, and see how she measures up to your farsighted impression.

Safety in Numbers

Safe from girls, that is.  Big groups are loud and intimidating.  If you want to meet people, stay in smaller packs or deflect from your large group.  You’re sure to hear about “how many beers they drank” at some point of your life; you live with these people.  Tonight, it’s about expanding your circle.

Take Inventory

In a last-ditch effort before determining if the scene is beat, make it a numbers game.  Go with a friend and make a list of the top 3 to 5 girls you want to talk to.  Make it interesting by placing a wager of who can (1) get a number (2) a hook-up OR (3) not get slapped.  Then just go for it.

Tim Ferriss, game-changing author of the book “The 4-Hour Workweek”, said everyone should ask someone of the opposite sex for their number every day.  Even if you’re married, do it and tear it up after.  It’s about overcoming fears, not getting some girl.

In a numbers-driven world, if you can’t use anatomy, you’ll get the business of the pick up.

Who says you’ll never use what you learned in college?

DJ Reach: Stylin’ from New York to Sin City

While you’re fumbling for your fake, this guy’s got half-naked models bumpin’ on dance floor.

All work is … all play when work is DJing at the country’s top hot spots.  This ex-resident DJ at New York’s Marquee, now spinning at their sister club Avenue, and Las Vegas’s Tao (the highest-grossing restaurant in the country), DJ Reach knows how to get the party started.

Harlem’s Semu Namakajo, 30, has come a long way from playing college parties at Wesleyan. Now the star emcee shares the DJ booth with surprise guests from Justin Timberlake to Jay-Z to Usher and Bono.

DJ Reach works the country’s hottest parties, flying back and forth from New York to Vegas every week. How does he keep his style sharp and the party going after all these years?

COED:  What’s life like for a star DJ in New York and Vegas?

REACH: I’ve been doing this since I was 13.  You have to be passionate about this business. You’ll lose friends, girlfriends.  There’s always someone who wants your spot, who’ll play for half price or free.  It’s marketing.  Always making sure I shake hands with Kim Kardashian, Justin Timberlake when they come in.  I’ll have that impromptu performance with Usher or Ne-Yo. Get them swept up in that energy.  That’s how you get press.

COED:   What’s the craziest thing about rockin’ two coasts?

REACH:  I fly back and forth to Vegas every weekend.   I’ll play from 12 to 6 in the morning and be back on a flight by 7. Within an hour after landing, I’ll play from four to six hours.  Sometimes I’m in the air longer than on the ground.  Jet lag is not even the proper word for it.

COED: How do you not, like, die with all that traveling?

I go from sitting for 6 hours to standing in DJ booth for 6 hours.   In the club, I try to cut back on the Patron, more vodka and cranberry.  Vodka and soda as opposed to vodka and Red Bull.  On these flights I eat a lot of food on the go, four to five small meals a day.  I might opt for an energy bar, small salad, fruit.

COED:  How do you stay in shape and stylish?

REACH:  No joke, I get really animated in DJ booth. Flailing my arms, jumping my around.  Waving bottles in the air.  The bigger the bottle, the better the work out.  Maybe one day I’ll come out with a DJ workout video. (Laughs)

COED:  What kind of style do you have working the scene?

REACH:  As the resident DJ on “Last Call with Carson Daly,” I started my camera looks – a blazer and tie.  DJs used to dress in baggy jeans or sweats and a t-shirt.  But in Marquee, etc. you have Stevie Wonder and Mariah Carey coming in, why should the DJ be dressed down when everyone is dressed to the tee?  All the other DJs followed suit, so to speak.

COED:  What can young guys learn about nightlife from your experience?

REACH:  The club definitely looks at young college guys as the rookie, The Amateur.  They’re expecting them to roll up with five dudes, no chics with them, on a college kid budget.  They’re easy prey for an expensive night club.  They don’t have the Gucci jacket, still doing Converse. There’s still ways to have that casual chic.

COED:  How can they look better in the clubs?

REACH:  It’s really about confidence.  You can do yesterday’s jeans and a rusty t-shirt. And you can rock it.  You wanna have a little bit of style but nothing overstated.  If you roll up in a Gucci blazer and your mouth works against you, the doorman will say, Sorry buddy tonight’s not your night.

COED:  If they get turned away?

REACH:  Just get in where you fit in. You’re still in the minor leagues.  The best accessory a college kid can have is a cute girl, even a friend.  It doesn’t hurt to have mommy and daddy’s credit card.  Buying bottles at a table can get you seated next to Britney Spears.  You might get lucky with Lindsay Lohan if you have the right bottles.

COED: What’s the dumbest thing dudes can pull in style department?

REACH:   Never ever wear sunglasses. Do not wear sunglasses to a club.  If you’re a guy and got the killer outfit and you put the sunglasses on, you’re done.

Unless you’re P. Diddy, Jay-Z, maybe even Kanye West, you shouldn’t have the sunglasses. Makes you look like you think you’re more important than you are.

COED:  You have it pretty good in this business. What sucks about it?

REACH:  Honestly I’ve definitely lost 2 to 3 girlfriends due to the nightlife not being able to put up with groupies or schedule.   I went into business with my college buddy, promoting and doing events.  We don’t even speak anymore and we were best friends 10 years.  From college buddies throwing keg parties to hosting big time parties with celebs in one of the most intimidating cities in the world.  It doesn’t last because of egos, money, jealousy.

COED:  So the business can really screw things between friends?

REACH:  In college everyone’s on an equal playing field.  You don’t feel like you’re competing with friends in ‘Where am I in the sea of life?’  When one promoter or DJ brings in more people or a bigger check, egos get in the way.  It’s tough when you’re all young professionals trying to find your path – especially in nightlife.  How are you gonna secure your future.

But the owners of Marquee, Tao, Avenue – all nightlife gurus – started promoting in college – college parties.  In high school, you bring in 50 people.  College is thousands of people.  You can test out your dreams.

COED: How old were you when you “made it” or hit six-figures, etc.?

REACH: A year or two into DJing at Marquee, around 24.  I was fortunate. In a tough economy good DJs might make it at 28, 30.  I put a lot of hours in early though – I knew since I was 13.  I’ve been building from end of high school, planting little seeds in my DJ career.

COED:  What would you say to young guys starting out?

REACH:  The transition is really tough. A local bar let me spin on a Friday night. I could pack 50 to 60 in college.  So I used a college directory to get everyone’s email who came to New York, the faithful group of 60 who listened to me play in college.

I’d say, “Come find some familiar sounds over at this bar where I’m playing.”  My list is now 50,000 deep now, with 4,000 friends on Facebook, 2,000 on Twitter.

COED:  What trends in nightlife will people notice this year?

REACH:  Well my company is getting alternatives to big bottle service: entertainment, Guitar Hero nights. Giving people more bang for your buck.  Now the cool places are restaurant nightclubs: have dinner and go downstairs, dance in the nightclub portion. People are trying to get creative with concepts.

Facebook and Twitter is amazing with birthday lists.  You can directly market to clients.  People are merging to focus on birthdays.

Everyone will still go big on that one night.

Janie’s Pictures From the Saints Parade + Mardi Gras

What’s better than Mardi Gras – month long parades, light-up floats, open containers, people tossing free crap – from Moon Pies to footballs – everywhere.   New Orleans streets are teeming with people, hurricane drinks and beers in hand, beads around their neck.

What’s better than that?  How ’bout having your home team earn its first trip to the Super Bowl in its 43-year history a week before Mardi Gras.  After a horrible flood ravaged the city.  And winning it.

When the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl on February 7th, the city went wild.  Bourbon Street partiers dressed to the nines meshing Mardi Gras costumes with Saints beads chanting “Who Dat … Who dat say they gonna beat dem Saints.”  Even K Gates and the Ying Yang Twins got in on the action with their Who Dat Nation anthem “Black and Gold” single – blaring in NOLA stores everywhere.

The Super Bowl victory parade borrowed the best floats from each upcoming Mardi Gras parade, all painted and lit-up ready to go.  With beads firing out at a pretty alarming force, you’d think a Super Bowl MVP was tossing them like he was about to get sacked.

It, of course, was Saints Quarterback Drew Brees launching at the crowd, with his offensive line in tow.  Getting toasted by Mayor Ray Nagin before a crowd of nearly half a million.

New Orleans, in a way, is like America’s Red Light District.  Just without the brothels.

CVS stores carry more hard liquor options than Twix bars up north.  “Beer to Go” is the go-to money maker for bars, as open containers are happily displayed everywhere.  You’re steps away from Harrah’s Casino downtown, so whatever dough you don’t blow at strip clubs on Bourbon Street or Hurricanes at Pat O’Briens, can go to blackjack or Russian roulette.

Then you have your food – fried oysters, hot doughy French doughnuts (aka beignets at Café du Monde), rice and beans with sausage and chicken, jambalaya, gumbo, crawfish dipped in savory butter.  It’s enough to make you the Olsen twins fat by just looking at it.

And with the city recouping after Katrina (though you wouldn’t notice the damage in touristy spots) you can snag hotel rooms in the heart of the action, The French Quarter, for less than $60 a night.

So next year, head to good ol’ NOLA for Mardi Gras.  Just practice your soft hands catch.  You never know who’ll be tossing stuff to you from a victory parade float.  Who Dat?

10 Ways to Step Up Your Nightlife Game

The economy has dudes cutting back on nights out, splitting tabs, staying local, and asking girls on “walking” dates.   But do you have to look like chumps?

Heavy-hitting New York nightlife promoter and model/celebrity wrangler (read: he brings the party) David Jaffee talks how to get more bang for your buck if you got game.  He’s worked with top spots from Tenjune to Cain and Pink Elephant.

DJ Reach, formerly of New York’s Marquee, now spins at model-magnet Avenue and Vegas’s Tao and Lavo.  He controls the action – and tells how to get some of your own. Use his insider tips before you go lookin’ a fool.

1. Shut Your Mouth

Less is more. Asking too many questions of the doorman, explaining too much, or trying too hard diminishes your value by the second.  Like girls who know whether they’ll sleep with you in 30 seconds, a doorman knows within 10.   Now it comes down to whether you’ll open your mouth to change that.

At the door of a club or lounge, be direct and do not fumble over your words. Practice what you’re going to say.  “People often get embarrassed and take themselves out of the game by thinking too much,” says Jaffee.

P.S. It helps to have mommy or daddy’s credit card.   Don’t roll up in packs of dudes.  And have a girl with you, even if she’s a just friend.  Let’s face it: she should be hot.

2. Now’s Your Time

College guys and young I-bankers are seen as “amateurs” in this biz, making up 10 to 15% of a top venue’s crowd in a good economy.  But clubs are hurtin’ now, and even amateur money may help the doorman overlook your shady ass, bringing your demo up to 20 to 25%. Doors are more lenient. So act fast: your money will now be accepted.

3. Divide and Conquer

In college, it’s OK roll up with 5 to 10 of your bros at a party.  At a club, it’s divide and conquer. Hang with two to three guys max.  Separate yourself and catch a woman alone, that girl who didn’t come in with a promoter and is sitting at his table.  Catch the girl who’s buying her own drinks.  Use that couple bucks in your pocket. She’s expecting an overconfident douche to grab her hand while she’s walking to the bathroom.  Don’t be that guy.

4. Watcha’ Say

At a low-key bar, just because you can hear each other doesn’t mean you should talk – much.  Act like you’re exciting and live a great life while being funny.  Most importantly, don’t talk too much. The more she talks the more she’ll like you. Actions shape feelings, so get her to act like she’s interested and she may actually do it.

“The key to getting the girl – and even being a boyfriend – is to listen,” says Reach. If she says she’s from Crooklyn, elaborate and give her your best BK story without being too cheesy.

5.  ‘Love In This Club’

Um. People have sex on the dance floor without even knowing each other’s names.  So get moving. Jaffee advises all guys to view pro dance videos on YouTube and dance in front of a mirror while viewing and correcting themselves.  Model-types especially dig good dancers since they’re usually club veterans.

6. Beat the Stereotype

College guys are known for just wanting sex. But simply calling a girl or texting her the next day is enough to separate you from most guys. Invite her to things that you build up (i.e., “Come thru babe. I’ll make sure you’ll have a great time.”) then putting forth some effort when she actually arrives will separate you.

7.  Fake It

If you want a relationship, do the right thing: don’t play games, don’t be fake.  But … oftentimes being yourself is not exciting and will get you dismissed.  The next best thing is to play the game.  Even if you lack confidence, making a girl feel good may create enough false positive reality that she’ll buy into it.

For example, ask a close girlfriend (only if she’s hot) to push up on you so that you can quickly reach for the girl you’re interested in as if she’s “saving” you.

8. New Tricks

Jaffee’s tip: Sending a text “accidentally” to a girl who previously flaked makes you seem powerful.  Pretend to give advice, set up a business meeting, or giving instructions about a travel itinerary. This should only be done very infrequently, leaving the girl to reply with “huh?” so you can respond with “My bad, wrong text. Wow, haven’t spoken to you in ages,” and take it from there. If she’s not interested, delete her number.

9. Different Chics for Different …
From models to sororities to girls next door: Not all girls are created equal. And neither should your game be.

Model-types seek attention (usually discernible by how they dress and act) and are the meanest when initially approached, but the easiest to sleep with and the most psychologically ill, says Jaffee, who believes this from working the crowd nightly.

Tell these girls how you can benefit them (luxury vacations, material items, celebrities, etc.), and it’s usually a wrap, (especially if you have cocaine at your crib or in the bathroom).  (From a COED standpoint, that’s like, totally illegal. Shame on you.)

“Never ever tell her that she’s hot,” Jaffee says, as most of these girls have eating disorders and base their self-worth on being perceived as attractive by others.  If you tell models they’re hot, they will likely lose interest in you.

For other regular girls, it’s less of a show.  Have her talk as long as possible, then put her in situations where she can act like she likes you.  For example, say “Hey, I’ve gotta step outside for 2 minutes, wait for me. Cool? Sorry, I’ll be back in 2 minutes.”  Then come back in 1 minute.  If she’s there, it’s a wrap.  If not, find another chic.

10.  Save Yourself

Do NOT put in too much effort unless she reciprocates. Initial meetings are always the hardest (no matter how good your game is).  A girl may be excited and even make set plans to hang out, but when time comes she doesn’t “feel well.”  In 8 out of 10 of these situations, it’s best to just cut this person off – maybe send her an occasional text to motivate her to follow through.