6 Ways To Make Chick Flicks Watchable

It’s date night, and while you’d rather watch Inception for the third time than Life as We Know It, your girlfriend might disagree. But then again, she might think the latter is such a turd of a flick that you might as well stay home and pop in a DVD. Just as much as Ed Wood was convinced of his own greatness, chick flicks still think they’re modern. If the genre is to salvage itself, perhaps it should consider there pointers:

Enough of the Career Gal

We get it – she’s successful at work but a failure at love. The only problem is, it’s secondary to the plot, and the viewer never really understands her passion about her job – simply that’s she’s high-strung, stressed out, and unfulfilled. The career girl, like her character, is a tired, worn-out cliché who, in spite of her perfection, is annoying and unsympathetic.

Give Us Well-Rounded Characters

She doesn’t have to flunk life, but having more negative qualities than klutziness is realistic. Who do you know is entirely put together, waiting for a man to make her “complete”? The fact is, viewers want a protagonist they can relate to – not one that makes them depressed and feel inadequate. If it means lessening her success or looks to simply make her more human, so be it.

No More Katherine Heigl

She’s the star of the moment, but plenty of other actresses are waiting for a call. Just as much as your average viewer is tired of the career gal, they’re tired of seeing Kathering Heigl play the career gal. Unless she does a 180 and turns in a performance of a truly flawed but likable lead, the genre might be doomed to repeat itself over and over until her star power is worn out. Think of Julia Roberts, circa 1999.

No More Marriage, No More Kids

Is a woman’s sole goal in life to simply put a ring on it? If chick flicks are examined as artifacts of the present, it would seem as such. But just as much as popping the question will scare of legions of guys, making a film’s goal to get the heroine paired off and married turns of viewers. Rather, the writers of such substandard, antiquated dross need to get with the times, and realize that, even when marriage comes around, happily ever after only happens half of the time.

Opposites Don’t Attract

Despite what writers want you to believe, the successful career woman probably doesn’t find her soul mate in a brash, unkempt slacker. For women, this perpetuates that settling is the answer and, for men, gets up hopes that a perfect 10 will appreciate a diamond in the rough.

If many chick flick couples were paired off in real life, friends and strangers would wonder, “She’s with him?” Being realistic is the key, and if a relationship is to be believable, the two opposites would drive each other insane and break up, and hilarity would not ensue.

Shopping Isn’t the Answer to Everything

A credit card isn’t the key to happiness, and just as much as a montage became cliché in ‘80s teen flicks, shopping is a prerequisite of films geared toward women. It’s buying that bride’s dress – or being the bridesmaid yet again. Or burning off steam with your girlfriends. Or finding that perfect pair of Jimmy Choos. The Sex and the City films are essentially two self-indulgent shopping sprees in which the viewer lives vicariously through the four female characters. Subtle product placement — a character clearly holding a Coke can, for instance – is annoying enough, but making such a scene about designer duds treads into obnoxious territory.

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From Grace Jones to Gaga: 8 Singers Subject to Sex Change Rumors

Ciara’s new album drops today. Back in ’05, she was subject to a bunch of rumors claiming she used to be a dude. Thanks to the internet, said rumors often thrive and persist. Several singers, from Grace Jones to Lady Gaga, have been the subject of such talk, but are any of them true? Don’t bother reading a message board – just find out here:

Lady Gaga

One of the burning questions surrounding this pop star hasn’t been “When is Lady Gaga’s new single coming out?” but, instead, whether she has a penis. The video for “Telephone” supposedly resolved this rumor, but Gaga has stated otherwise, indicating at some point that she’s intersexed. Although Gaga’s routine drag queen-esque getup might fuel buzz on the internet, she has yet to give a clear answer.

Meanwhile, Gaga’s sexual ambiguity has influenced a Bulgarian fan to undergo a sex change and start a music career. Perhaps impersonating a pop star is no longer sufficient.

Ciara

On the surface, Ciara seems like one of the least likely singers to be hit with a sex change rumor. After all, the light-voiced “crunk-N-B” star has churned out club-friendly fare like “Get Up” and “Goodies” over the past decade, and hasn’t been shy to show off her own goodies in her music videos. Coming out in 2005 about her sexuality – she’s a lesbian – served as a catalyst, however, and the “Like a Boy” singer has been the target of many internet discussions regarding transvestitism to full male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery.

Elly Jackson (of La Roux)

Being known for androgyny is a spark for gender rumors. Not coming clear, as La Roux’s Elly Jackson has done, propagates them even further. Rather than playing the bisexual card like many singers before her, Jackson claims to have both fluid sexuality and gender. Plenty of “Is she or isn’t she a lesbian”-type talk circulates around the internet, but Jackson seems content playing up suits with jewelry and gaudy makeup and churning out synthpop hits.

Annie Lennox

Androgyny was all the rage in the ‘80s, and performers from the Second British Invasion, ranging from Dead or Alive to Duran Duran, sported this look. Nevertheless, when a Newsweek piece about the influx of English artists on the American charts ran, rumors regarding Eurhythmics’ singer’s gender started. Although these have since passed over, Annie Lennox’s androgynous appearance and deep voice made her the embodiment of female ambiguity at the time.

Grace Jones

Disco might be the first instance in pop music in which male and female voices are interchangeable: the falsetto, ethereal notes of the Bee Gees balanced out the huskier tones of Gloria Gaynor and Grace Jones. Out of the performers at the time, Jones had an appearance like no other, and as a result, her birth sex was under question by magazines.

Michael Jackson and Pete Burns

These two singers reached the peaks of their careers around the mid-‘80s: Burns, in group Dead or Alive, for “You Spin Me Round” and Michael Jackson for Thriller. Yet, despite their claims to fame, both have been tarnished by excessive and well-publicized plastic surgery. Considering both singers have had significant modifications (and serious mishaps), sex change rumors didn’t follow too far behind a nose job gone wrong or botched lip procedure – especially for Burns, who cultivated an androgynous image and was close with Morrissey.

Marilyn Manson

April Fool’s prank or not, Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animals ignited a never-dying rumor regarding a sex change. Although the group’s switch from Goth shock-rock to glam on the 1998 album turned off some fans, Manson’s ambiguous – or lack of – genitals on the cover image caused even more questions. In the present, however, this simply appears as an intentional Photoshop job to avoid even more censorship.

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5 Tips For Upgrading Your Wardrobe

At some point, you realize those cargo pants and fleece vest look ratty: torn cuffs, frayed ends, and stains from things you don’t remember. Wearing your high school duds and those free t-shirts only go so far to make an impression. You might not have to follow every season’s trend to stay relevant but looking like you rolled out of bed and put on the flannel at the bottom of your hamper each day gets dull. Get with the times and check out our 5 suggestions for upgrading your wardrobe.

Skinny Jeans

It’s not 1999 anymore, so adjust your pants accordingly. Pull them up – but not too high – and taper down the size. Skinny jeans for men aren’t the skin-tight leggings you see girls wear, but a slimmer look is more in style. Go for a boot cut, although slightly looser or more form-fitting pants are also fashionable. As these don’t appear to be going anywhere for the next few years, having a few quality pairs in your closet is recommended.

Dark denim goes with everything, and is even appropriate for a dressy look. Light – but not white –contrasts from a solid or bright colored shirt, and to go casual, add a few pairs of grey or distressed wash jeans to your wardrobe.

Paisley

What was once a shout-out to the loud patterns of the 1960s and ‘70s has become a modern staple. The fact is, paisley is always appropriate – when worn in moderation. Keep a shirt in your wardrobe for going out, and most are versatile enough to pass as business casual and clubbing wear, assuming the color combination isn’t too bright or contrasting.

Much like a shirt, a paisley tie shouldn’t be loud and flashy. Unlike that Looney Toons tie your mother bought you in high school, paisley can be subdued without seeming boring. Match it with a solid-color shirt, and you’re good to go with an updated look for work and special occasions.

Prints

Solid colors are always practical, but prints have ingratiated themselves beyond the Disco Stu Halloween costume. But rather than going for the loudest and brightest pattern available, consider what goes with your wardrobe already.

Floral and geometric prints have far more possibilities than flannel and never reach the level of tackiness Ed Hardy gear did. Dress one up for clubbing, or pair it with jeans to dress down.

No matter how you wear it, consider the print as the center of your outfit and base other pieces with it – not against.

Ditch the Blue

Light blue. Dark blue. Sky blue. It goes with everything, but it’s dull. Consider blue the new beige, and ditch it for another shade.

The business casual uniform of button-up shirts and dress pants offers minimal variation, so add some.

Investors tell you to diversify your portfolio – do the same with your wardrobe.

Mix up the banal blue with darker red, royal purple, green, or any colors that aren’t yellow or orange.

Velvet

Classier than corduroy, velvet has been the perfect alternative to a boring black blazer or vest for the past few years. But go basic with this piece.

Even with all the rhinestones and embroidery out there, sticking with solid black is your best bet. After all, looking like a Jersey Shore reject only works when you wax your eyebrows, too.

With these 5 simple moves you can feel confident making moves on that girl with the moves. Now move it!

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10 Retro Teen Stars Who Should’ve Had Better Careers

How many times have you read a film review praising a young actor or actress, only to never hear about him or her again? Too many teen stars begin on a high note, only for that performance – or several – to not translate into adult success. But for every Tom Cruise or Robert Downey, Jr., there are plenty of others who make poor decisions, go off to college, or simply become supporting players and never reach that leading status critics predicted from the start:

C. Thomas Howell

You might have asked yourself “Whatever happened to Ponyboy Curtis?” at some point or another, considering most of his co-stars from The Outsiders went on to modestly successful careers – even Ralph Macchio. Although Howell carried the film, he made a few poor choices later – doing blackface in Soul Man, for one – that derailed his once-promising, A-list career to the bargain bin with mostly straight-to-video flicks.

Howell has made a few appearances over the years, including a reoccurring role on cop drama Southland, but the main place to find him these days is in mockbusters produced by The Asylum, a low-end production company that works with budgets less than $1 million to release titles like The Day The Earth Stopped, Transmorphers, and The Land That Time Forgot. Sound familiar? Mockbusters mirror titles of films in theaters at the time, and Howell has starred in several of these in recent years.

Meredith Salenger

Good girls don’t last long in Hollywood, and current Disney stars should take note of Meredith Salenger’s career. Salenger began in The Journey of Natty Gann and, much like C. Thomas Howell, carried the film much to critics’ approval. After, she turned a few good performances in A Night In The Life of Jimmy Reardon, horror flick The Kiss, and Dream a Little Dream, and then disappeared for a few years to go to Harvard.

Attending college is a precarious career move for young stars, and some navigate it well, and others never reach the same level of success. Although Salenger displayed solid acting skills, good looks, and charm in the ‘80s, she’s been relegated to supporting roles since then. Currently, she can be found doing voice work in Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

Leelee Sobieski

Few teen actors of the late 1990s and early 2000s were as memorable by critics as Leelee Sobieski. Although she was noticed in traditional teen film Never Been Kissed, her performances in Eyes Wide Shut and as a rebellious Goth teenager opposite Albert Brooks in My First Mister were key to career longevity. Or were they? Sobieski took a similar path as Meredith Salenger by attending a top-tier university for a few years, and her career also took nearly as much of a nosedive.

Should young actors and actresses simply forget college in lieu of short-term success in Hollywood? It’s a tricky path to go down, especially for actresses, and although Sobieski appears occasionally in supporting film roles, starring in an Uwe Boll flick isn’t the best approach to getting your career back on track.

Emilio Estevez

Blame the Mighty Ducks flicks for taking Brat Pack member Emilio Estevez out of the spotlight. With a career that started in the early ‘80s with The Outsiders and didn’t let up for 15 years, Estevez appeared as if he would have more success than Anthony Michael Hall, Andrew McCarthy, and Judd Nelson. Few actors are taken seriously after having lead billing in a Disney flick, however, and Estevez has shifted his efforts to directing. 2006 film Bobby has been his most notable effort to date.

Corey Haim

Corey Haim’s career shows what happens when drugs overpower talent. In spite of Lindsay Lohan’s recent antics, she should take note of Haim’s swift and fast career trajectory. In the ‘80s, Haim had the chops to do drama – critics lauded his performance in Lucas – and light comedy in the flicks he and Corey Feldman did as a team (Lost Boys and License to Drive, in particular). But by the end of the decade, Haim’s drug problems were well-known, and his billing by the 1990s was relegated to straight-to-video films.

Looking back on it, Haim’s career plays as an anti-drug PSA, and should be an example of how bad choices will throw a promising start off track completely.

William McNamara

Getting second billing to the Coreys is a precursor to also-ran status for the rest of your life. Even though William McNamara stole teen film Dream a Little Dream from Haim and Feldman as a sometime friend with rage issues, he never ascended into A-list status – not even after a memorable performance in 1995 thriller Copycat. Although he appears to be working steadily, his last notable project was 1998’s Jerry Springer spoof Ringmaster.

Ally Sheedy

Being the “basket case” in The Breakfast Club has apparently defined Ally Sheedy’s career. Although she was in other successful films at the time, such as WarGames, Short Circuit, and St. Elmo’s Fire, her next notable performance was in 1998’s High Art as a lesbian photographer with a drug addiction. Although Sheedy received recognition for her performance in High Art, it wasn’t the springboard to get her career back on track, and she’s mainly been in independent and B-list flicks since then.

Ione Skye

Her performance as Diane Court in Say Anything could have propelled Ione Skye into more mainstream pictures, but the independent route seems to have suited her better. Although Skye was in other secondary teen flicks at the time, such as River’s Edge, most think of her as a one-note performer. Skye pops up here and there – more recently in Fever Pitch — but she never went as far as critics and viewers predicted.

Dominique Swain

As another one-note performer, Dominique Swain got critics’ attention in the 1997 version of Lolita, and also turned in a memorable role in Face/Off. Yet, although Swain has been working steadily since then, she’s taken a turn much like C. Thomas Howell and is a regular face in indie and B-movie fare.

Molly Ringwald

Until her recent role on The Secret Life of an American Teenager, it appeared that Molly Ringwald would be just known for a trio of John Hughes flicks. Although classic teen fare, Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, and The Breakfast Club were the high point of Ringwald’s output for a while, which seemed over after she refused a role in Some Kind of Wonderful. Even with a 20-year lull, her career might be back on track, and Ringwald might be that rare teen star that, much like Patrick Dempsey or Jason Bateman, sees success a few decades later.

9 Best Scenes from Family Guy’s 8th Season

Perhaps Seth MacFarlane was far more invested in getting the The Cleveland Show off the ground that Family Guy fell to the wayside. No matter where MacFarlane’s head was this past year, Season 8 was uneven and mediocre overall. Those moments of un-PC inspiration – the “Down Syndrome Girl” song – were juxtaposed with the not-so-great – the painful 150th episode, “Brian and Stewie,” for instance. In any case, here are some of the top highlights of last season:

Family Guy Goes Disney
Episode 1: “Road to the Multiverse”

Sure, it’s gimmicky: Give Brian and Stewie a time-travel plotline and change the animation style every time they enter a new dimension. But it’s about time Family Guy parodied Disney. Although Lois is still hot, Herbert still a child predator, and Peter still fat, it’s the subtle additions – transforming Meg into Ursula from The Little Mermaid — and the not-so-subtle – highlighting Disney’s hatred of Jews with Mort on screen – that show just how much on point Family Guy can be at times.

Quagmire Learns About Internet Porn
Episode 2: “Family Goy”

Who knew Family Guy’s resident sex addict was content with only Playboy and hookers all these years?

Quagmire Hates Brian
Episode 7: “Jerome is the New Black”

He’s got a Prius. He’s absolutely pretentious. And is painfully unaware. For all these reasons, Quagmire hates Brian – and gives him a piece of his mind.

Brian is Honored at the Rhode Island Society for Special Literary Excellence
Episode 8: “Dog Gone”

Brian’s writing skills have been dumped on over the years, from a novel plot derivative of Iron Eagle to Carter publishing his book – and it being an epic failure. Brian walking into the room in this scene and realizing the meaning of “special” just goes to show how low his literary career can go.

Watch a clip from the episode on Hulu.

Meg Beats Up Connie DiMico and Co.
Episode 11: “Dial Meg for Murder”

Family Guy does high school revenge short – but not sweet – with yet another 1980s film reference. This time, it’s the cola cans in a pillowcase scene from the 1983 Sean Penn film Bad Boys that gets revisited. While the scene isn’t necessarily funny, Meg finally kicks some butt – or, more specifically, cracks a few skulls.

Watch a clip from the episode on Hulu.

The “Down Syndrome Girl” Song
Episode 12: “Extra, Large, Medium”

It’s sort of predictable: Early in the episode, Chris chases a butterfly, gets lost in the woods, and tells Stewie he wants to go out with a girl – who just happens to have Down syndrome. And the rest falls into place with this scene. Stewie wants to get him ready, Chris gets a makeover, and plenty of semi-subtle Of Mice and Men references are used in a musical number.

Watch it now on Hulu.

Stewie Comes Out on Television
Episode 13: “Go, Stewie, Go”

Family Guy has painted Stewie as a sexual conundrum for a number of years. He crushes on girls, and yet wears the occasional dress and wig. And now, Stewie is a child star on the Americanized Jolly Farm Revue in this parody of Tootsie. It’s not much of a career, however, but the scene offers the resolution many have wondered about over the series’ run. Stewie essentially ends his acting career with, “I’m a perfectly normal boy! Who also happens to be a transvestite! Which – begins with the letter ‘T.’”

Watch the full episode on Hulu.

Peter and Joe Texting
Episode 18: Quagmire’s Dad

How close can a show get to dropping the F-bomb on network television? Family Guy tests the limits with this scene from an episode in which Quagmire finds out his war hero father is actually a transsexual. No one says it, but “ducking” – as in, “so ducking gay” – is the closest any series might ever get.

Star Wars-Themed Opening Credits
Episode 19: “Something, Something, Something Dark Side”

A long time ago, in a decade not so far away, Family Guy was canceled by Fox – twice. Seth MacFarlane, apparently, never forgives – no matter the success of the series or the creative freedom the network offers – and never forgets. The scrolling credits in the opening of this episode, done Star Wars-style, take a more-than-light jab at Fox.

A Decade of Musical Mediocrity: The Worst Songs of the 2000s

Excessive sexual innuendo. An obsession with Joy Division. Misspellings. Auto-Tune. If the 2000s are remembered for anything musically, it’s that artists and producers took something from before, repackaged it, and slapped on a different label. It’s also the time in which several successful genres met a quick death: rap succumbed to chanting, alternative rock to whining, and pop to overly-processed, robotic vocals. If a presidential election is simply a choice of picking between bad and worse, reviewing the songs of the past ten years is siphoning off the unlistenable from the mediocre.

Sisqo – The Thong Song

Every decade has an auspicious opening, and the aughts began with “The Thong Song.” Played everywhere 10 years ago, the track is underwhelming in the present, and represents the worst of the late 1990s, early 2000s time period: no clear melody, slick production that does nothing, and mumbled rapping. With the exception of the chorus and the line “dumps like a truck,” no other part of this track is really discernible. And, while the looks of the booty-shakin’ ladies in the video would be the precursor to the whale tail, Sisqo’s large platinum necklace, overly bleached hair, and spotless white sneakers represent 2000’s fashion trends at their worst.

Fannypack – Camel Toe

What is the aughts’ obsession with derrieres and crotches? Sisqo looks at the ladies from the backside, while Fannypack stares at them from the front. This irritating track was ubiquitous in 2003 and, despite the psychedelic appearance of the music video, is no “Groove is in the Heart.” Rather, the listener gets three minutes of chant-rap, which was all over songs from this decade, from a group of whiny-voiced girls, cheap-as-a-Casio production, and a whole lot of sexual innuendo. Considering all of the novelty tracks from Crazy Frog to Ke$ha this past decade, Fannypack unfortunately initiated this style-before-substance trend.

Ke$ha – Tik Tok

And, while Fannypack might have brought out the novelty track, Ke$ha turned it into a hit machine and doesn’t appear to be stopping anytime soon. Although the unabashedly trashy pop star truly rose to fame in 2010, her hit “Tik Tok” hit radios in 2009, making listeners wonder, “What in the world is this?” and not in a good way. Chant-rap style and dumb lyrics aside, “Tik Tok” shows that Auto-Tune makes everyone a pop star until the live performance.

Cassie – Me & U

But perhaps Auto-Tune isn’t so awful, especially when any chick with a hot bod could be a singer. In the pre-Auto-Tune days of 2006, track “Me & U” was a hit summer single, with a simple-but-catchy synth line opening. There was only one problem – singer Cassie couldn’t actually sing. With a basic, talk-vocal line extending no more than an octave masked by many layers of overdubs, “Me & U” is the decade’s example of when looks significantly surpass talent.

Black Eyed Peas – My Humps

Could Top 40 tracks from the aughts be filled with anymore sexual innuendo than any other decade? Camel toes, thongs, nookie, and many mutations of “junk in the trunk” defined the first five years, and then 2005 dished out “My Humps” – the low point of a group that churns out beyond-basic, pop-rap party jams. Singer Fergie has a pleasing enough singing voice, but this track features her lazily rapping in a whiny tone over a drum machine. And those humps? This song is the aural equivalent of an annoyingly persistent chick shoving a rack repeatedly in your face no matter how many times you shake your head and say, “No.”

As far as the rest of the Peas are concerned, they phone in their performances and, by putting their backup singer in the spotlight, are directly responsible for Fergie’s solo album.

Soulja Boy Tell’em – Crank That (Soulja Boy)

Whoever claims that rap isn’t dead was missing in action in the summer of 2007. Three years ago, the chant-rap style that defined this decade came to an apex with “Crank That (Soulja Boy),” a track that nearly surpasses the repetitiveness of “My Humps.” Soulja Boy lazily raps in a mumbled tone – the only clear words are “crank that,” “Soulja Boy,” and “you” – and does a dance reminiscent of the 1990s’ running man slowed down with a bunch of bouncing around and arm-shaking.

Limp Bizkit – Nookie

If Soulja Boy’s dance is like the running man, Limp Bizkit was the decade’s Vanilla Ice. Although Nu Metal emerged in the late-‘90s and carried through the first few years of the 2000s, Limp Bizkit captured the insincerity of the time period with this song and video: doing it all for the Nookie, having hot girls follow you simply because you’re Fred Durst, and a police arrest while filming a music video. The metal elements still sound fairly 1990s, but the chant-rapping is staunchly a part of the 2000s. Considering the Beastie Boys, the originators of the white guy rap-rock combo, want nothing to do with Nu-Metal and Limp Bizkit, “Nookie” is part of rock and rap histories that should be buried with parachute pants, the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band film, and 2 Live Crew.

Simple Plan – Addicted

Do you know what was wrong with new punk? It sounded absolutely nothing like the original genre. As much as Limp Bizkit is like Metallica, Simple Plan is like the Sex Pistols, and track “Addicted,” which was played all over the Top 40 radio in 2003, put the nail in the genre’s coffin. As much as the 2000s were a rehash of supposedly better times, “Addicted” is an ode to better music, capped off with whiny vocals. Even though new punk is now an old memory, however, the “I’m annoyed because I didn’t get an Xbox for Christmas”-sounding vocals set the tone for Hawthorne Heights and many other emo bands.

She Wants Revenge – Tear You Apart

Paying tribute and totally aping off a band’s sound are two different concepts. As much as the 2000s were a time period revisiting everything ‘80s and ‘90s, at least artists like The Killers and The Bravery saw the older post-punk and synthpop sounds of The Cure, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode as a springboard for modern songs. She Wants Revenge, on the other hand, tries too hard to channel Ian Curtis, and “Tear You Apart,” their 2005 hit, is artificial and derivative. Much like how you can eat ham instead of spam, why listen to She Wants Revenge when you can simply pick up a Joy Division record?

Hoobastank – The Reason

How low can a genre go? In the case of alternative rock, that low point is “The Reason,” the musical equivalent of powdered mashed potatoes. The whiny vocals, again, are a precursor to emo, which defined alternative rock this past decade beyond the few hits put out by The Killers. Nothing about “The Reason” is memorable, with the exception of a “man, when will this song be over?”-type reaction from listeners.

Christina Aguilera – Dirrty

Misspellings were another common feature of the aughts, but giving “dirty” two Rs is the least of this song’s problems. While pop singers, especially those with Disney connections, eventually want to shed their good girl image, “Dirrty” wastes Aguilera’s voice and does what no song should do – make the listener feel like he or she needs to take a bath. This track is a low point for the singer who started out with “Genie in a Bottle,” and Aguilera quickly reformed her image with “Beautiful” and “Fighter” in less than a year. “Dirrty,” on the other hand, should serve as a warning to Miley Cyrus and the rest of the Disney crew: Feel like you “Can’t Be Tamed” and your fan base will go elsewhere.