Stick in Your Thumb, and Pull Out a Buzz

Back in the day Slovakia’s people had a big problem…no booze!

During the poorer times of the country, wine was scarce and beer was too expensive for the average man (Oh how little  has changed.)  Thankfully, out of hard times comes hard spirits! Right to this day the hardcore antidote to sobriety,  Slivovica is regularly home-distilled with fruits from the household garden, the most common being the humble plum.

As the spirit became more popular in  liquor stores manufacturers have turned to a variety of  fruits to differentiate their brand including cherries, pears and raspberries (What?  No Prickly Pear?!?!).

A traditional Slovakian meal is often begun with a shot of slivovica. A before dinner shot?  Great!  Now there’s something to wet my appetite! Everything goes better with booze . . .wait that’s coke -er Coca Cola.  Actually weed makes everything taste better.  I once ate a peanut butter pickle on weed, but I digress.

The bottled variety of Slivovica usually peaks out around 40% alcohol (89 Proof – like Vodka or Tequila) but many Slovakians claim that their homemade concoctions reach over 70% alcohol content (140 proof!  Comparable to say Barcardi 151 – That’s enough alcohol to ignite!)

If a Slovakian offers you some don’t say no, but be careful.  They literally make this brandy style spirit by the gallon, and who needs to wake up next to a Borat look alike smiling and asking if you want to make another sexy time.

World’s Best Party Spots: Vang Vieng, Laos

Great News! I just found out my new girl is a swinger!

What used to be just a few streets and a bus stop has morphed into one crazy party town complete with late island booze and dancing, whacked out natural drugs and enormous rope swings into a raging river.

Oh . . .do I have your attention?

A huge attractionin this town is grabbing your mates and big plastic tubes and go floating down the river with  amazing scenery and, perhaps more importantly, six bars chock full of hotties lining the river banks. Bar staff literally pull you in as you hold on to a stick of bamboo.  I borrowed the impromptu “Pump Stick” and fished out a few females for my friends . . .and two for myself!  “Ladies, grab the stick and pull . . . NO LADIES! THE STICK THE STICK!”

There is no shortage of free Laos whiskey floating around that river – Sheesh! Beerlao, the only beer available in the country, is a decent drop and a couple of huge bottles are essential when you get back in the tube for another float to the next drinking station – You heard of “Road Beers” -now we have RIVER BEERS!.

Rope swings and beach volleyball ensure all the kiddies are having half-naked fun, in the sun and when the sun goes down so do the girls . ..er I mean – the party just gets even heavier (like my dates when I drink).

An island of bars with lights, DJ’s and bonfires start up every night and draw the young crowd out from every hotel. If you want to sit back and chill try asking for the ‘happy menu’ at any of the local restaurants.  Suffice to stay there is something very funny about the happy menu cocktails and snacks,  and I assure you that you won’t find a better price for a “Mushroom Shake” or “Opium Tea” on the planet (well maybe Afghanistan but those burkas as so itchy during making out.

Be warned, with the fun you get at these prices, a lot of people fall in love with the party town and never want to leave.

Bottle Service: Bulgaria – Rakia

Mmmmmm . . . .strange liquor. That's almost as sweet as strange . . .you know.

Popular through all of the Balkans but especially Bulgaria is the almost homemade, kept in old plastic bottles and looking a little like piss, rakia. This fruit brandy can come in many different varieties and although it only averages out at 40% in the store bought variety it can bounce up to a much higher alcohol percentage when it is homemade…and any Bulgarian will tell you that the only rakia worth drinking is the one their grandfather has been making for the last thousand years or so. Rakia can be made from all sorts of fruits but the Bulgarians are famous for simply throwing a whole heap together and just seeing what happens. Just ask any Bulgarian if you can try their special stash and they will be more than happy to pour you enough to get you down on the floor, this stuff brings a whole new look and a bit of rugged style to your typical brandy.

Try Before You Die: Full Moon Party at Haad Rin Beach, Thailand [112 Photos]

Let’s’ face it.  Life if short… it passes by and then you die.  But while you’re still able-bodied and willing, there are a few things you’ve gotta do to guarantee yourself a full and beautiful life.   The Full Moon Beach Parties on Haad Rin Beach in Thailand is one of these things.   The infamous Full Moon Party is held on one tiny island off the South East coast of Thailand, Ko Pha Ngan.  Haad Rin beach parties are quite literally the norm. The once per month (on the full moon obviously) Full Moon Parties can attract over ten thousand people to a single beach that is sprawling with buckets of booze, heavy trance and dance music and a lot of young, half-naked tourists with florescent paint from head to toe.

Best of all it’s cheap cheap cheap! You can get a bucket with 12 ounces of vodka, a can of coke, a can of redbull, a lot of ice and even more straws sticking out the top for just ten bucks US! In fact that is actually pretty expensive for Thai prices! If you can’t make the full moon don’t worry…there is also two Half Moon and one Black Moon party every month…that’s right something every quarter! Whether you want to sunbathe with the topless girls, challenge the locals to a game of soccer, drink some two for one cocktails while you watch a film on the roof or just get completely wasted and dance around on the sand like most people are doing then Ko Pha Nang is an essential stop for anyone who really wants to party.

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Bottle Service: Palinka, Hungary

Palinka – the Hungarian brandy. For a spirit to be classified as palinka, it must be made from a fruit based brandy – and it has to be damn strong. According to European Union official definitions, real palinka must be made in Hungary from ingredients grown in Hungary, and MUST be between 37.5-percent and 86-percent alcohol content.  Read more

Bottle Service: Spirytus, Poland

For the next couple of weeks, we will be featuring a badass spirit from Europe that you might not know about. First up the big daddy of them all, Spirytus! There is a reason this stuff is barely legal anywhere but Poland…it has a whopping 96% (192 proof) alcohol content. Read more