Brunch Is Over! Here’s Queen’s “Tie Your Mother Down”

It was a swell Mother’s Day, and everything went great, but now it’s time to crank up the COED Jukebox and remember the days when you had to face the steely glare of the beloved mother of your old girlfriend. Maybe it wasn’t Queen sympathizing with you back then, but this is the song you’ll think about the next time you go knocking at some girl’s door to meet the parents. Hell, yeah, that can happen again. A lot of gals are back home living with Mom and Dad–and her parents still don’t trust you. It could be worse. You should see the way they’d look at you if they found out you work at COED.  [image credit: queenconcerts]

13 Classy Will Ferrell Tattoos for His Third Appearance as SNL Host [13 PHOTOS]

Tonight, Will Ferrell will be returning to the infamous NBC Studios in New York for his third appearance as the host of Saturday Night Live. Ferrell was on the show for seven years and over that tenure became one of the funniest and most beloved cast members in SNL’s history. Since then he has built an impressive resume with his film career, but it is clear he hasn’t forgotten where he came from. Be sure to tune into NBC tonight at 11:30 to catch Ferrell in action, and if you’re into that sort of stuff, Usher is the musical guest. In the mean time, check out 13 awesome/awful Will Ferrell tattoos that people thought were good ideas at some point in time.

DARK SHADOWS’ Eva Green: Two Good Reasons To Hit the Multiplex [20 Pics]

Everyone’s wondering if Dark Shadows has the clout to knock out The Avengers as #1 at the box-office. It probably won’t, but the film has a secret weapon that would’ve allowed Loki to take over the world. We’re talking about Eva Green in the role of witchy beauty Angelique Bouchard. This fantastic Frenchwoman is already overdue for international stardom. Eva first caught the critics’ eye with some bountiful nudity in the decadent 2003 drama The Dreamers. That sizzling debut made her a Bond Girl with Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, but things fizzled when Eva re-teamed with Craig in the 2007 bomb The Golden Compass. Then she ended up on the small screen as sorceress Morgan Le Fay in the UK fantasy series Camelot. Eva managed to steal the show as a fantasy villainess, and she’s certainly going to stir up some crotches cauldrons this weekend. Check out her assorted amazing looks as Eva shows off a fantastic figure and real star power…

The Weekend In Sports Hotness [May 11th - May 13th]

It’s tough to compete with last weekend’s sports awesomeness, but the next month or so is going to be packed with some of the hottest games of the year. Baseball season is in full-swing, the NBA Playoffs are just finishing up their first rounds, and the NHL is getting pretty heated. We don’t want miss any of the great events, so we’ve created a great “visual” guide to help you determine which games you should be watching when. The term “boob tube” has never been so sporty.

Left to right: Arena Football League (Cleveland @ Milwaukee | NFL Network | May 11th, 8 PM), NBA Playoffs (Grizzlies @ Clippers | ESPN | May 11th, 9 PM), College Baseball (St. John’s @ Louisville | ESPNU | May 12th, 11:30 AM), PGA Tour (Third Round |  NBC | May 12, 2 PM)

Left to right: NBA Playoffs (Nuggets @ Lakers | TNT | May 12th, 10:30 PM), NBA Playoffs (Grizzlies @ Clippers | ESPN | May 11th, 9 PM), MLB (LA Angels @ Texas | ESPN | May 13th, 8 PM), NBA Playoffs (Indiana @ Miami | ABC | May 13th, 3:30)

Left to right: English Premier League Soccer (QPR @ Manchester City | ESPN2 | May 13th, 10:55 AM), MMA (The Ultimate Fighter | FX | 10 PM EST), NASCAR (Southern 500 | Fox | 6:30 PM EST), NHL Playoffs (Capitals @ Rangers | NBCSN | 7:30 PM EST)

The USFL is Back–and We’ve Never Forgotten the Cheerleaders! [49 PHOTOS]

The entire sports world was shaken yesterday with the news that the USFL is making its long-awaited (?) comeback in 2013. The formerly-failed football league–which was last active in 1987–claims that it won’t be competing with the NFL in any way, except for the fact that they’re playing the exact same sport. Meanwhile, all anyone here at COED care about is a new batch of cheerleaders being unleashed upon us. If they’re anything like the sexy throwback cheerleaders the old USFL had, we’ll be buying up some season tickets. (For anyone interested in the actual sport, cities being considered for teams include Portland, Salt Lake City, San Antonio, Austin, Columbus, Akron, Oklahoma City, Omaha, Raleigh/Durham, Birmingham and Memphis.)

Now check out these 49 amazing pics of USFL babes from the ’80s. These ladies will take you back to the glory days of the Houston Gamblers, Los Angeles Express, and many more forgotten franchises…

11 Reasons Why Moms Should Not Be Able To Text

The problem with adults and new technology is that they actually try to use it. Of all the examples that come to mind, texting is probably the one that’s best left to the youngn’s. Just take these text messages from Mom, for example. She just doesn’t understand that an “alien smile” is, in fact, a penis. Nor does she understand that poop isn’t a chocolate kiss. Like our friends from Virgin Mobile Live say, “Mom may not the best when it comes to texting, but she’s always good for a laugh.” Appreciate your mom this weekend by checking out some of the worst text messages she hasn’t sent you below. [lead image via cyphix-photo / Shutterstock]

SEE THE REST OF THE HILARIOUS TEXTS HERE!

Nina Dobrev Is A Real Kick In The Pants [PHOTOS + VIDEO]

As you may or may not have seen last night, The Vampire Diary’s Nina Dobrev put her foot in Conan’s crotch on his show (video here). The two of them were discussing her yoga practice when she offered to demonstrate some of her moves on stage. Not wanting to disappoint his audience, Conan selflessly allowed himself to act as a balancing tool for the sexy starlet. We’re not too sure he knew what he was getting himself into, but I think he was pleasantly surprised. A serious hat tip goes to him for being able to hug her after she was done — we might have needed to take a moment. After you see some of her photos below, we’re sure that you’ll know why.

Yes, This Kid Getting Caught In The Act Moment Happened [51 PHOTOS]

Usually it’s the dog who licks and tastes poop, but it seems like this child is particularly impressionable. Hopefully, you (the reader) are a little more picky in the habits you choose because we’re about to embark on yet another journey into “Yes This Happened.” The photos you’re about to see are only for the strong-minded and we could end up turning you into a real weirdo with the stuff you’ll see. Be prepared for a tickle-me-haircut, a lost pussy, and the scariest doll you’ve ever seen. Photos below!

Miss COED: Krystal Love [18 PHOTOS]

Krystal is a 21 year old freelance model currently living in the T-Dot (Toronto). She’s previously been featured on KryingOutLoud and FemmeFatale, going so far as to win FF’s “Not Just A Pretty Face” competition. When this Irish/Canadian hottie isn’t looking jaw-droppingly sexy for the camera, Krystal enjoys cooking, writing, and public outreach. She also enjoys hating on Lil’ Wayne, so I might have just found a new favorite Miss COED. Check out this lovely northern neighbor’s photos and stats below.

Age: 21 | Location: Toronto, Canada | Height: 5’8″ | Weight: 120 | Measurements: 32B-24-34

For more of Krystal, check her out on: Facebook | Twitter | Tumblr | ModelMayhem

Know a beautiful girl who could be a Miss COED? Submit her full name along with pics to models@teamcoed.com.

SEE ALL OUR MISS COEDS HERE!

57 Reasons Every MLB Ballpark Should Have A Clevelander [PHOTOS]

You might recall our friends at Busted Coverage breaking the story about the body-painted girls who worked at the Clevelander at Marlins Park. Our crappy beer salesmen at the local park haven’t looked the same since. A few months has gone by since Marlins Park opened and we wanted to check in on the gals since we last met. What we saw explained why everyone wants to go in: the girls seem to be getting hotter and hotter.

We’re not just talking about the beautiful women working there, either. Even the clientele are all smokeshows. Bikinis at a bar in a baseball park? Sounds like a home-run to us. Check out some of the best looking girls to walk through the Clevelander at Marlins Park below.

TIME Uses Breasts to Sell Magazines (Again) [19 PHOTOS]

TIME is one of the world’s most respected news magazines. They also like boobies. TIME especially likes boobies when they can stir up some controversy and sell more copies of their dead-tree publication. They’ve sure caused a commotion with this week’s cover story on extreme breast-feeding. At least TIME isn’t going for cheap sexploitation. That cover’s about as sexy as the current issue of Modern Plumber. This issue still joins the ranks of TIME covers that brought out some bountiful breasts to grab a consumer’s attention. Take a look back at the magazine’s other attempts at selling with sex, and decide for yourself what’s an exciting angle or a fantastic fail:

Demotivational Thursday: Avengers Edition [28 PHOTOS]

You probably missed out on seeing The Avengers last week; partly because the theaters were packed to the brim with people like this guy, and partly because you lacked the motivation to get there an hour ahead of time. After all, that’s valuable time that could be spent on COED. I’d suggest trying to go see the flick this weekend — even my weed guy has seen it three times. If there was anyone who ever lacked motivation, it was him. It’s honestly a miracle he’s able to make it down the stairs. Actually, that’s probably him hidden behind the mask.

Yes, This Retro Baby Bashing Photobomb Happened [60 PHOTOS]

Take a look at this young slugger back there, all ready to tee off on mommy’s new favorite. Dad should be less worried about how he looks with his chops and more concerned with how he’s going to explain this to the doctors. Is this a brand-new low for us at “Yes This Happened?” Probably, but our standards are pretty flimsy. For more photos you probably wouldn’t want your mom to see, check out our gallery below.

Miss COED: Seanise Haskins [23 PHOTOS]

Last week we showed you one of the newest members of Tempe12, so it’s only fair that we show Tucson12 and the University of Arizona some love. Meet Seanise Haskins, she’s a freshman, a marketing major, and very easy on the eyes. Seanise was originally drawn to Tucson12 because of their involvement with the school, and she loves repping for her set; Seanise was previously a representative for Pasadena in Miss California Teen 2011. Considering that these are some of her first photos, we’re pretty excited for the new class. Check out her pics and stats below.

Class: Freshman | Location: Tucson, AZ | Major: Marketing

For more of Seanise, check her out on: Facebook | Tucson12

Know a beautiful girl who could be a Miss COED? Submit her full name along with pics to models@teamcoed.com.