Just because you’re a lot bigger (and probably fatter) than you were as a kid, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be able to play with toys. And with the way technology’s going these days, you’re not going to believe the stuff kids these day have. From real night vision goggles to giant RC dinosaurs, these are five of the hot items this holiday season that you will probably just want to keep for yourself.

1. EyeClops Night Vision Goggles

Think night vision is just for spies, special ops and dress wearing serial killers? Think again. Now, with the EyeClops night vision goggles ($80), even your punkass nephew can turn into a Navy SEAL. Just pop in four AA batteries, flip the ‘on’ switch and the EyeClops night vision goggles allow you to see clearly in pitch black up to 50-feet in front of you using the same infrared technology used in professional-grade night vision goggles. We’re not saying these goggles won’t make you look like a cyborg creeper, but that doesn’t mean they don’t kick all ass.

2. Hasbro Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster

Any toy that resembles heavy artillery is good in our book. And this battery powered dart cannon is so badass, it could probably scare Osama bin Laden enough to surrender, if you got him in range. Armed with an aiming tripod and a 25 dart ammuition belt, the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster ($45) can switch between single shot and fully-automatic mode, allowing you shoot your enemies (i.e. your girlfriend’s cat) with up to three darts per-second. Beat that, Mr. Snuggles!

3. Air Hogs Havoc Battle Laser Helicopters

Remote control helicopters have come a long way in the past few years, turning an expensive niche hobby into some of the most fun you can have indoors. Made of not much more than Styrofoam and plastic, the Air Hogs Havoc Laser helicopters battle pack ($63), which comes with two helicopters and remote controls, are not only 100-times more durable than the more expensive RC copters at your local hobby shop, they come armed with freakin’ lasers, giving you the ability to take down your friends in an all-out aerial war. Not only that, but you don’t have to become a complete RC dweeb just to get the dang things off the ground.

4. The Hammacher Snowball Launcher

Winter’s just around the corner (or already here), and that means it’s time to amp-up your snowball fighting skills. But this year, you’re going to need more than just warmer gloves. Enter the Hammacher Snowball Launcher ($30), the coolest backyard weapon this side of a potato gun.

Just pack snow into the loading chamber, close the top and presto – three perfectly formed snowballs ready to fire. Next, place a snowball into the barrel, pull back the elastic launcher and let the puppy fly (up to 80-feet). The neighbor kids are going to have another thing coming this snow season.

5. Spike the Ultra Dinosaur

While this one might look a little too childish and goofy to be fun past age four, this bitchin’ remote control dinosaur is like having a pet that will never take a dump on your floor or eat your couch. Measuring 27-inches tall, Spike the Ultra Dinosaur ($140) can stand on his hind legs and make a ton of aweseom noises like snorts and roars. And the remote control is picture coded to tell you exactly what Spike does, so you can have tons of fun with this mischevious monster even when you’re wasted! (Note: This product is best used while really, really high.)

Tweens across the nation are in a tizzy over today’s release of New Moon, the much-anticipated second installment in the Twilight Saga.  And as much as we love Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, vampires and werewolves, for our money SNL’s Firelight parody with Taylor Swift as one of the Franks beats New Moon in spades.  Twilight Bad, Firelight Good.

Happy 81st Birthday to the world’s oldest bipedal talking rodent! Yes, on this day in 1928, Mickey Mouse made his television debut in Steam Boat Willie.  Who would’ve known this simple line-drawn mouse would go on to be the most famous cartoon character in the history of animation?  So in typical COED fashion, we thought we’d celebrate this joyous event by giving a whole heaping helping of beautiful girls adorned by the master of mice.  Enjoy.

(click thumbnails to see full image)

The only thing more awesome than taunting your opponent is getting PWND by said opponent and getting a taste of your own medicine.  Case in point: The Cartwheeling goalie.  They don’t call it the beautiful game for nothing.

Every morning I hail a cab at the same corner in the West Village in NYC.  Most days, it’s an easy grab, rarely a wait.  But this morning I was running late and there were literally 5 people standing up and down the avenue flailing for a cab’s attention. So, I did what any good New Yorker would do, walked deeper into the stream of traffic and snagged the first cab.  This FTW moment quickly became a moment of FAIL when I saw Jon Stewart standing outside my window. D’oh.

(this is another guy also waiting for a cab)

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We pride ourselves here at COED for our ability to take any current event and make it sexy.  So with today’s release of Bruno on DVD, we racked our brains to find an angle that would make our readers proud. If you’ve seen the movie, you’d know that’s not an easy task, unless of course you find swinging d*ck sexy…  And since we don’t, we opted to go the Nyotaimori Party route.  Nyotaimori, a.k.a. body sushi was infamously portrayed in the Paula Abdul / Bruno interview. Fortunately for you, the girls in our post are hella hot and a helluva lot less hairy.  Without further adieu, we give you Naked Sushi Party Girls.

(click thumbnails to see full image)

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Look out WOW freakout kid, the British are coming and they are serious about their videogames.  Sure you put a remote up your bum and hit yourself in the head with a shoe, but you got nothin’ on your English Doppelganger.  After a 17 hour run on Modern Warfare 2, his gloves are off and it’s just knuckles and wall.