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Five Things Real Men Don’t Sport

Five Things Real Men Don’t Sport

Lots of guys know how to dress. It’s definitely a turn-on when they find a style that fits their personalities. And even if they don’t have the know-how, sometimes all it takes is confidence, and even the biggest male fashion blunder can be overlooked.

But girls, we’ve all been here before:

“He’s really cute! Omigod…..well he was before I noticed he was wearing……that.”

“That” could be one of five things that, in my opinion, can make a good-looking, adorable, manly-looking kinda guy go from potential hook-up hottie, to….. “I think I see my friend over there.”

Beware. Counting down to the most irritating, here are the top five things real men should never sport. Ever. If you have a boyfriend who applies to this list, (though I hope that’s not the case) share this with him immediately. Share with everyone you can.

Strappy Sandals. You know the kind. The complicated, brown leather sandals with a slight heel. These monstrosities don’t make any outfit look anything remotely close to good.

Bracelets. Unless he’s wearing a diamond bracelet in hopes you’ll see it and say, “Hey, why are you wearing that diamond bracelet?” and he’ll say, “Oh, it’s actually for you. And there’s a lot more where that came from,” bracelets on guys are unnecessary. Read More »

What It’s Like to Be … a Nude Model

nude_model Recently, I found myself strapped for cash and needed a way to supplement my income. Like most people, I gave plasma until I had trouble tapping my bean without getting lightheaded. Not sure what to do next, I saw an ad in the paper for a job that seemed perfect…nude model.

I am not a hottie by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn’t think I was gross either. WTF! I decided to try nude modeling! The gigs were usually just a few hours, and they paid well above minimum wage. Why not?

I called a few local college art departments. ‘There’s a shortage of nude models,’ I was told. So, career advice Number 1: find an in-demand job. As a bonus, there’s no interview necessary - so stage fright isn’t much of an issue THERE. But the nudity-thing is a great deterrent for any competition.

During my first class, things started out fine. I walked in, disrobed, ignored the goosebumps forming on my skin (note to profs: turn up the heat - my nips were so hard I cut through the tension) and walked on to a platform in the center of the room as the professor gave me instructions for my first pose. It was pretty simple: I just had to sit still for twenty minutes. I could do that, right? Read More »

Beer Pong Champions: Meet Your Next Best Friend

Portopong

If I was still in college right now, I’d be peeing my pants with excitement over this awesome new development in alcoholism.

The Portopong!

Yes, yes, the summer is almost over (10 days and counting) but if you have access to a pool and a group of fun-loving friends, the Portopong is where it’s at. What college student doesn’t love a good game of pong? And in a pool no less? Yea, how about no less than amazing.

Just to make sure, we’re talking about this kind of pong, not this kind. Read More »

Warning: Not Getting Pregnant is Gonna Cost Ya!

Bad news for horny college girls.

According to the Wall Street Journal, colleges and universities are gonna stop selling birth control at the same discounts they’ve been giving us for years, which is gonna be pretttttty costly. And, surprise surprise…who is the cause of this madness?

Our president! Read More »

(Arguably) The 50 Most Bangable Chicks in Music

ashlee simpson

Let’s face it. In order to be a female musician, it’s a prerequisite nowadays to be considered hot. Unlike the guys, who can get away with looking like this or this and gorgeous girls will still screw them, women are a completely different story. It’s just the way things go.

So, with all of the ladies putting countless records out, who is the hottest? And what makes a “hotâ€? female singer? There are dozens of lists of opinions; everybody’s got one. I happened to stumble upon one that caught my eye, if for no other reason than Madonna isn’t on it for once (I don’t care how “in shapeâ€? she is, people - she looks like hell. Eat a hot dog, woman).

Shoutmouth.com lists their countdown of the 50 Hottest Women in Music, and it goes by 7 different rules:

Rule #1 (The Madonna Rule): This list is based on recent hotness. It doesn’t matter how hot an artist was back in the ‘80s. It’s 2007. What have you done for us lately?

Rule #2 (The Hayden Panettiere Rule): To qualify for this list, an artist must be over 18 years of age. We only objectify of-age women here.

Rule #3 (The Newcomer Rule): Each artist must have released at least one full-length album prior to August 1st, 2007 in order to qualify.

See Photos after the jump. Read More »

A Pothead’s Guide to Avoiding Johnny Law

cop car

Cops, man. Always ruining our crazy, college fun - pulling us over on road trips, breaking up the parties, arresting our friends. Why, because we break the law and do illegal things? Pshhaa, whatever.Like NWA said, eff the police, right?!?

Right! There are in fact, many ways around the law, especially when it comes to doing the things we all know we do and we all know we enjoy doing - like smoking “doobiesâ€? (as I like to call them,) or eating pot brownies, or driving with naughty things in the car, or letting your friends pull you across the highway while you’re attached to a couch…..okay, that one’s just stupid and if you do this, you should definitely be arrested. Radar Online has an awesomely insightful look into the ins and outs of what to do and what not to do in order to escape and avoid the law altogether - written by Barry Cooper, an EX COP AND HEAD AGENT OF NARCOTICS for eight years in Texas!!!! What a kick ass guy!!!!

Cooper wrote the article because, he said, “The war on drugs is an utterly losing proposition. We caused more harm breaking up families to put non-violent drug offenders in jail than the drugs ever did. And for what? To eradicate 1/10th of a percent of drugs on the street.â€? Read More »

McDonald’s Loves to Make Us Fatter

College kids definitely know what it’s like to have the munchies at 3 a.m., pass by a fast food place and feel the temptation. And as if a SuperSized soft drink wasn’t big enough to entice us, McDonald’s has recently introduced the Hugo.42 ounces of completely unnecessary calories. 410 to be exact.

Didn’t this movie influence Micky D’s to get rid of the whole “excessive sizes thingâ€? a few years back?

Guess the McPeeps decided that ginormous sizes were back in for good, cause the Hugo - whose name even sounds fattening, like, if Hugo was an actual person, he’d look something like this - is being sold at exclusive locations like the ones in St. Louis.

The kicker is, the Hugo is only 89 cents, so it’s been selling like crazy, thanks to the summer heat. AND you’ll soon be able to use the Hugo to wash down their new 1/3 POUND ANGUS BURGER.

American’s are getting fatter, people. Do we really need all this? Read More »

Everyone Loves a Beer Bong!!

Are you ever out somewhere, like….walking around, or at the store or the zoo or some really lame party, and think, “I could really use a beer bong right now.â€?You’re in luck! Meet the Jellyfish, an inflatable beer bong with three tubes that you can fold up and keep in your pocket!! And guess what it looks like…..yup yup…..a jellyfish! See?

Okay, if you’re at the store or the zoo, you probably don’t wanna whip out the Jellyfish and start downing beer, (illegal) but a lame party would be perfect. You’d turn the night around in a second - what college student doesn’t LOVE the Beer Bong?

Guys love them because they can challenge their buddies and look tough and girls love them because they get you drunk quickly and by doing them, you impress the guys! And pulling one out of your pocket would be so cool.

The Jellyfish is only $12.99, but I mean….come on, it’s a piece of plastic that looks like a weird sea creature that you pour cheap beer into, so that price seems pretty reasonable. Or, if you’re feeling especially crafty, make one yourself.

Check out this sick video of a 100 person beer bong at University of Wisconsin.

They sure know how to party….

The Top Weirdest Web Communities on Crack

The Internet is a place for everyone. Jocks, beauty queens, potheads, rockers, academia, criminals….you name it, there’s a site out there perfect for ‘em.Even the straight-up WEIRDOS.

Cracked.com has scoured the web for the 8 strangest, oddest and WTF-iest communities in Cyberland, and they’ve come up with some awesomely abnormal ones that are sure to kill some time and entertain you while you’re sitting there, bored in class.

Some highlights of the list:

#8: Icechewing.com. For, you know….all the “Ice Chewersâ€? out there. One blogger writes:

Long time chewer, first time member. Read More »

Pizza and Porn

Pizza and porn go together like peas and carrots. I mean, who doesn’t like to scarf down slices while enjoying some fine pornography? I know I do.

So it only makes sense that pizza establishments are recently catching on.

Porno Pizza, located in Winnipeg, includes a surprise - pornographic pictures - underneath their pies for customers who must show their 18-and-up ID’s to the delivery guy.

Founder Corey Wildeman said, “We cater to certain crowdsâ€? - yea, “certain crowdsâ€? meaning, hungry, horny Canadians. Read More »