What To Pump When You Bump Uglies [He Said / She Said]

By Ned

You’re waiting for your new date to come over to your house and you’re hustling like mad to get the crib half-way decent. You’ve already showered, made the bed and brushed your teeth but something’s missing. Should you put on music or leave the TV on? Playlist or shuffle? Comedy Central of Fox News? I know that these are decisions that we wouldn’t normally worry about unless we’re  with a new girl – but that’s an important f*cking time. Pun intended.

Top photo via auremar/Shutterstock

Above photo via CandyBox Images/Shutterstock

The reason that we’re even talking about this is because you want the both of you to be feeling as comfortable as possible, so try not to make it awkward when you put the background noise on. It’s also important to note that it’s just that – background noise. Your audio choices shouldn’t be something that you’re both concentrating on. This rule means that you shouldn’t be diddling to dubstep, the sound of grinding iron against crushed robot babies isn’t something that most girls are going to find sexy.

Need some advice? Here are some good suggestions. (I haven’t included the music videos because you’re not going to be looking at this and clicking to the different songs while getting it on. Hopefully).

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I don’t suggest listening to comedy albums or watching comedy central because even though her laughs and contractions might actually feel new and interesting, straining to hear the punch line is a real mood-killer. I’m sure that I’ve left out some great tunes, so please leave your suggestions or (contradictions to my choices) in the comment section below.

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT SEX AND MUSIC