Watching Porn With Your POA [HE SAID / SHE SAID]

Men love porn. Those who say they don’t are lying, are in porn (which technically is watching porn just IRL), or have RIDICULOUS sex lives (think Derek Jeter times Hugh Hefner plus Wilt Chamberlain). Even those guys have probably enjoyed a private screening of “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” with a groupie / jersey chaser at least once. On the flip side of that coin, most women NOT associated with porn hate porn or, at the very least, the kind of porn men love. It’s definitely not this…

So, why should women watch porn with men they’re with (or want to be with)? Most women can’t even admit to masturbating for fear of being cast as a whore or a slut. Despite the sexual liberation over the last 50 years and the proliferation of female-targeted adult entertainment, the majority of girls place sex fairly far down on their list of priorities and even those who do love it are ashamed or overcompensate for it.

I fully advocate watching porn with a girl. I’ve only done it twice – both times with girl (space) friends. The first girl was a high school classmate that was into a buddy of mine who happened to stumble upon a documentary on Ron Jeremy. So, not full on porn, but plenty of porn scenes. She was grossed out. Her friend was grossed out. But, let’s be honest, it was Ron Jeremy. He’s had female co-stars refuse to work with him. So much for the big d*ck theory.

The other girl I watched porn with was my roommate. We went to an adult video store, picked out 2 movies,  and watched one. We laughed – she because she was genuinely amused by the absurd settings, characters, and dialogue – me because I was playing off the fact I was getting a chubby.

I don’t regret either viewing. Each of them provided me with a look into the female psyche, as fleeting and confusing as they were. However, they did reveal there’s definitely a time and a place for it. Sure, dudes could watch at anytime anywhere, but just as we can have sex anytime anywhere or think about sex anytime anywhere, women don’t and can’t. If your passion for porn burns so strongly that you feel the need to share the experience with a chick, here are the situations when a guy can pitch the idea without fear of retribution and reasons why a girl should and shouldn’t accept the invite:

WITH A F*CK BUDDY

We’ve covered friends with benefits extensively. It’s a relationship dynamic that can’t last forever because it either leads to one person catching feelings and ruining everything or BOTH people catching feelings and it turning into an exclusive relationship. Introducing porn into this dynamic will most likely speed up that decision-making process. Here’s the scene: You’ve already boned. You’ve already proven that boning no strings attached ain’t no thing. It’s basically the premise for every porn scene anyway. If anything, this is the PERFECT situation for partner viewing of porn to take place. Face it, if you’re both in the room together alone, you know what’s coming next anyway. Hell, maybe porn’s just delaying the inevitable? Or maybe it gives you ideas for role playing / next level f*ck buddying?

WITH A GIRLFRIEND

You’ve established you’re exclusive and you’re exclusive because you really like / love each other. The introduction of “aid” (read: porn) implies she’s not enough for you, that your sex life is lackluster. Sh*t, some people think simply WATCHING porn is cheating nevermind masturbating to it. A guy suggests his girl watch porn with him and the chick’s insecurities kick in. Am I not good enough? He prefers fake boobs! He’s a sex fiend / pervert!

When and if he makes the suggestion (hopefully at the appropriate time – when nothing else is on and you don’t have plans), it’s important to keep an open mind, take a step back, and understand why. It’s a change of pace, it’s taboo, it might even heighten the experience of having sex / bring you closer together. As long as you talk about it in a constructive way, you might just discover new moves and learn about each other’s sexual intricacies that normally would go unspoken. If she’s still not feelin’ it, at least you tried. If he continues to persist / insist, then he might be addicted, in which case he should go on MTV’s True Life or call Dr. Drew.

WITH A POTENTIAL ONE NIGHT STAND

It’s the ultimate high risk / high reward situation. If she’s coming back to your place after meeting you at a bar, there’s no question she’s into you. Most likely, you’ve used the ‘hey, want to watch a movie at my place?‘ line, so she’s expecting a movie. Turn off the lights, pour a drink, pop in the DVD then let the magic happen. If she gets pissed off / grossed out by the title and storms out, you probably just saved yourself a handjob. If the DP scene transitions to A2M and you hear her hum and caress your leg, I hope you have health insurance ‘cuz she’s gonna WRECK you.

SEE WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT WATCHING PORN WITH A PARTNER AT COLLEGECANDY.COM