ONN Presents: The 15 Funniest Live Local News FAIL Videos

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been fooled by The Onion’s headlines. We’re not the only ones. They treat incredibly fake news stories with the same kind of gravitas and grandiose posturing as real news outlets. Hell, more times than not they’re BETTER than the real news. You want to see a dumbass’s head explode? Watch the Onion News Network with ‘em. Though we don’t have new footage of the ONN, we do have some real ‘reels’ of various local newspeople utterly failing at their job. Make sure to check out the new season of the Onion News Network (America’s Finest News Source) Tuesday night at 10/9 Central on IFC and watch the real-life fails after the jump.

Miss COED: Johannie Valdes [13 PHOTOS + VIDEO]

Johannie is 24-year-old model living in the Big Apple. As you can tell from her photos, this spicy Cuban really has the whole ‘retro, tatted, pin-up girl’ thing nailed down tight. She’s been featured in the first issue of LXIX Magazine, Inked Girls Magazine, and NY Body Art (the video teaser you can see below). After checking her 4Square check-ins on Twitter, I see that this girl actually frequents a bunch of spots where I fuel my alcoholism. Now it looks like I might have someone to do whiskey shots with – she doesn’t look like the Appletini type. Check out her pics and stats after the jump!

September 2011 Fail Compilation [VIDEO]

I feel like Billy Madison on ‘Nudie Magazine Day’ today. Every month or so, TwistedNederland7 releases various compilations of WINS and FAILS and a few days ago, he released the best FAILS from last month. I see these videos like these all the time, and each time I become more and more impressed with the stupidity of some people (mostly eastern European). Do they really think that they’re going to successfully grind a wooden pallet on their 12-year-old sister’s bike? Well then don’t let me stop you, because I know that I’ll enjoy sharing that moment in a month or two. Check out the video after the jump!

Michelle Baker is Today’s Daily Snapshot

The Daily Snapshot is our round-up of the day’s hottest women on the web. Today’s edition features Michelle Baker doing Girl-on-Girl, hot new lingerie model Chelsea Salmon, the hottest Tampa Bay Rays fan ever Kerry Garvin, Melissa Clarke’s Loaded photo shoot, Miranda Kerr, Sophie Monk’s naughty nautical photo shoot, and Katharina Wyrwich’s Playboy Germany spread makes us miss Oktoberfest. Check out the hotness after the jump!

Re-Tweet Us With #Drive To Win Our Drive Prize Pack [GIVEAWAY]

I had the opportunity to see Drive the Tuesday after it came out in theaters and I have to be honest, I didn’t know what to expect. I’d heard a lot of buzz about Gosling’s performance but never did I imagine it’d be as balls-out as it was. I’m trying hard to not give away any spoilers but the f***ing elevator scene is straight up banana-pants. Anyway, in addition to digging the storyline and the characters, I immediately fell in lust with the soundtrack. It’s like Chromeo times eleventy. So, we’ve decided to give it away (signed by Cliff Martinez) along with some Drive posters, driving gloves, book, key chain, car charger, and flash drive. Find out how to enter after the jump.

AXE College Football Bucket List Week 5: Nebraska vs. Wisconsin [PHOTOS, VIDEOS]

The AXE College Football Bucket List Tour rolls on, this time we bring you pics and vids from our trip to Madison, Wisconsin for a key Week 5 match-up between the Cornhuskers and Badgers. We didn’t think things could get any better after Tempe, but turns out ‘Sconnies can bring the heat even on a chilly October day. From crashing ESPN College GameDay, to hanging out with Turtle, to scarfing down thousands of pregame calories, to riding the short bus, Badger Nation proved they have the most vibrant college football culture (and passion for food) we have seen to date. Check out our full recap after the jump.

Sexy Halloween Costume-less 2011 [110 PHOTOS]

We’re 99% sure we were one of the first, if not THE first, websites to blow the lid off the whole body-painted Halloween costumes trend. If you can prove that anyone posted on it before October 9th, 2008, we’ll prove you’re a bold-faced time traveling liar. With the sexiest holiday a few weeks away, we thought we’d inspire the hot young women who are low on the flow to think outside the box, get out of their clothes, and get creative with paint. We’ve got a gigantic gallery of examples for visual reference after the jump.

Show Me Non-Stop, Letters of Note, Lyrics To Live By [Websites of the Week]

At COED we try to pay homage to the funniest and most WTF sh*t on the interwebs. With our “Websites of the Week” column, we’ve done just that. If you’re looking to murder some time, you can’t do any better than our suggestions. This week’s sites feature a never-ending stream of HD videos, noteworthy letters worth the read, and some lyrics to live by. Check out this week’s top suggestions after the jump.

Miss COED September 2011 Is…

In mid-September we asked you guys to vote for Miss COED September 2011. Your finalists were Heather O, Sol Reyes, Emily Schneider, Lauren Miranda, and Mercedez Lee. While we’ve had some landslides in the past, this one blows all other blowouts out of the water. The winner garnered more than 70% of the vote and is now automatically entered into our Miss COED of the Year competition, which currently has 8 other contestants – Dylan Fitzpatrick, Corissa Furr, Elizabeth Marxs, Leanna Decker, Ysania Agurcia, Lara Leverence, Heather Jo Hughes, and Kari Nautique. So, who is the mystery champion? Find out after the jump.

The Monday Stumble: Genital Warts, Iraqi Porn, Panda Bear Marriage [14 PHOTOS]

No matter how positive you are, Mondays blow goats. No matter what you do, you just can’t get motivated to do anything productive. You’re literally and figuratively stumbling around, unfocused and aimless. Well, let us make your Monday productivity even worse! The Monday Stumble is our newest feature in which we take to StumbleUpon to stumble upon a bunch of random wtf photos. In this week’s edition, we feature Sarah Jessica Parker, some incredible shark photography, a ‘Meanwhile in Japan’ shot, and the best reasons to marry a Panda Bear. Stumble on after the jump!

Emerging Hottie Olga Fonda Shows Us Her Place [14 PHOTOS]

Gotta say, we’re all loving Esquire’s new “Me In My Place” feature. This edition profiles Olga Fonda, the sultry Siberian who moved to Maine at age 14. Fonda’s not her real last name, but much easier to spell and pronounce. She’s appeared in numerous TV commercials, on How I Met Your Mother and Entourage, and played Owen Wilson’s girlfriend in Little Fockers. You can see her in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn and Real Steel aka Rock ‘Em ‘Sock ‘Em Robots The Movie. We placed her on our list of Emerging Hotties of 2012. The 29 year old enjoys massages and isn’t afraid to nip out. You’ll see what we mean in our photo gallery after the jump.

NFL Upon Further Review: Week 4 [PHOTOS, VIDEOS]

As week 4 of the NFL season comes to a close, we take a look at last night’s turnover-heavy Jets-Ravens matchup, the Lions’ and 49ers impressive comebacks against the Cowboys and Eagles, the controversial call which allowed the Giants to come back and snatch victory away from the Cards, the Vikings’ tailspin, Tom Brady and Devin Hester’s milestones, and a preview of Monday night’s game between the Bucs and Colts. Check out all the insight and analysis after the jump.

Miss COED: Aura Amore [18 PHOTOS]

Aura’s a 21-year-old model born and raised in Vancouver, Canada. This sultry mama was actually a member of the Canadian National Team for Rhythmic Gymnastics when she was younger, so it should be no surprise that she rocks an amazing body. Aura has her degree in Hospitality Management Services, but is mostly well-known for her hot-as-h*ll galleries on Tease ‘Um. She claims that she “spends her extra time connecting and chatting with her fans,” so why don’t you connect and chat with her after the jump?

Crazy-Hot Peanut-Buttered Broad Goes To A Dog Park [VIDEO]

Crazy girls: every guy’s dated at least one. And if they’re not still being held hostage dating, the guy will tell you that the best move he ever made was breaking up with her. Sure, having crazy sex is fantastic but having to spend every other moon phase reading Tarot cards with your girlfriend can get to be too much. The girl in this video is ‘Exhibit A’ of a job-well-dumped. Yes, she looks amazing from a distance (and up close) but get to know her and some serious alarms should go off. “Let me go to a dog park, put peanut butter on myself, and have dogs lick me in a bikini” are not thoughts that go through a sane woman’s head. Let us know how she compares with the battiest girl you’ve ever hooked up with in the comments section after the jump.

Arrested Development is Returning to Television for One More Season! [VIDEO]

We’ve heard rumors for years of an Arrested Development movie, but today’s exciting news dwarfs the film version by grand comparison.  Show Runner Mitchell Hurwitz made the announcement at the New Yorker Festival cast reunion, that in addition the feature film, Arrested Development will be returning to the small screen for 10 episodes in 20… Click to read more

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