Jeffrey Ross’s Most Outrageous Roasts [VIDEOS]

September 13th is Jeffrey Ross’s birthday. The current New York Friars’ Club “Roastmaster General” has been a roaster for the last 8 Comedy Central Roasts. In my mind, the last great insult comic was Don Rickles. Many believe he (begrudgingly) passed the torch to Ross, who manages to stick, jab, and uppercut with vitriolic barbs that sneak attack its victims simply because of his looks and delivery. While Rickles was a bulldog, Ross is like a basset hound. Anyway, to celebrate his grand entry to the stage known as life and to get you pumped for what is sure to be another classic skewering on the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen on September 19th, we’ve pulled together some of his best roasts. Check ‘em out after the jump.

Who Should Be Miss COED September 2011? [POLL]

We recently crowned Dylan Fitzpatrick as our Miss COED August 2011. Now, we’ve got 5 feverishly hot Miss COEDs from August competing for the title of Miss COED September 2011: the world’s sexiest Dallas Mavs fan Heather O, the light of our lives Sol Reyes, Tempe12 temptresses Emily Schneider and Lauren Miranda, and the luxuriously elegant Mercedez Lee. Check out their stats and pics after the jump then vote for the hottie who should take home the crown at the bottom of the post.

I See A Pole in Your Future [60 PHOTOS]

Recently, we gave you 10 surefire signs your girlfriend used to be a stripper. While those were certainly handy, we totally missed the most telltale of indicators – she takes photos like the ones you’re about to see. In our opinion, every girl has a little bit of stripper in them. Girls have adopted “pole dancing” classes as a “fun, alternative” workout, but deep down we know these chicks desperately want to swing their nipple tassels as they pick singles off a bro’s nose with her bombs. Well, break out the umbrellas, because the ladies in our gallery will make you wanna make it rain. Check ‘em out after the jump.

No-Sex-Before-Marriage Madman vs. Mopey Alcoholic [WHO YA GOT?]

Does everyone in the world know Philip Rivers is a hardcore no-sex-before-marriage kinda guy? Dude went to NC State, which doesn’t exactly scream “keep it in your pants”. So, it’s kind of jarring to see him preach about “the gift of virginity” in the video you’re about to see. But, in terms of his rivalry with former Broncos QB Jay Cutler, it makes sense. Jay’s a diabetic who CRUSHES Jack Daniel’s and, in my opinion, punked Kristin Cavallari so he could get anal while Rivers married his high school sweetheart and is expecting a sixth child. Check out the video along with funny pics of each QB’s faces then vote in our poll after the jump.

45 Pedo-vational Posters

If you’re a loyal COED fan, you might’ve noticed we have a habit of slipping in a lovable cartoon bear into a lot of our “lead graphics” or the main image you see at the top of our posts. ‘Net vets know that lil guy is the Pedobear, the pedophilic bear. Before you get your diapers in a bunch, please know that we don’t condone or support pedophilia or child porn in any way. We do 100% love these demotivational posters featuring the funny-looking furry. Check ‘em out in the gallery below.

He Said / She Said: What Do You Consider Hooking Up?

We’ve covered a sh*t ton of polarizing subjects in “He Said / She Said”, but I think this one might take the cake. I’ve legit argued with a group of girls over the term “hook up” (and every variation thereof) for hours on end with no amicable or mutual compromise in sight – other than it occurs with someone you’re NOT in a relationship with. We dudes tend to be more lenient with it, toss it around like a ‘bee. Chicks, though. Chicks take this sh*t seriously. So, how do the sexes define “hooking up”? Find out after the jump.

42 WTF Fortune Cookies [PHOTOS]

September 13th is Fortune Cookie Day. The highlight of pretty much any Chinee’ Foo’ meal is the reading of fortune cookies and adding “that’s what she said” or “in bed” to the end of it. I say that because I’m not a huge fan of Chinese food and am usually excited to leave the restaurant (fortune cookies come with the check). These fortune cookies, however, need no edit – they’re funny as hell as is. Some of them are written in poor Chinglish, some are just flat out strange, all of them leave the reader thinking “WTF.” Check out the craziest fortune cookies after the jump!

7 Lessons in Love from the Characters of Friday Night Lights

Five seasons. 76 episodes. Unlimited lessons. With the new slate of Fall TV shows hitting the tube in the coming month, millions of fans will undoubtedly go through FNL withdrawal. Hardly any of the new programs will offer the kind of character analysis FNL did. While you were drooling over MILF Tami Taylor and bad girl Tyra Collette, female fans of Friday Night Lights were focused on the hunky dudes of the Dillon Panthers. Check out why women go batsh*t crazy for each of the show’s male leads and learn how you can bring a little bit of each character into your own dating and mating. Break out the notepad and check ‘em out after the jump.

Miss COED: Pamela Jean Noble [28 PHOTOS]

Pamela Jean Noble is 23-year-old model/actress from Fontana, CA who’s been featured in MMA Worldwide and Virile Magazine, done print work for No Fear, Sullen, and Pro Rider Watercraft Magazine, was the lead actress for the feature film Resurrection Mary and is featured regularly on FuelTV’s Daily Habit TV Show. She also posed for Surf Illustrated in January 2009 and was the first non tattooed Actress / Model to be put in Tattoo Magazine. Like the Jackie Robinson of gettin’ ink done. Check out her pics and stats after the jump.

Christina Hendricks’ Ridiculous Cleavage Crushes “I Don’t Know How She Does It” Premiere [PHOTOS]

Last night (September 12th), the stars of some film I won’t be seeing and a bunch of celebs who didn’t have anything better to do attended its premiere. Red carpets are always entertaining because you usually get some actress who has a nip slip or who wears a sheer top with no bra. But Christina Hendricks proves you don’t need to show areola to corral eyeballs – you just need mammoth breasts pushed up to your chin. Apparently, she also fell, which must’ve been amazing to watch in slow motion. Check out her pics along with photos of other hotties at the premiere in our gallery after the jump.

Russian President Medvedev Dances Like Carlton [VIDEO]

This video was apparently taken at a reunion at a university that the current Russian President, Dmitry Medvedev, attended. He’s the one in the grey suit; the one dancing like a white Carlton to the song ‘American Boy.’ By the way, check out that hot-*ss biddie in the white on the left. She’s probably Medvedev’s bottom-b*tch, just hanging and dancing while he turns his back. That kind of stuff happens in Russia right? I mean you’ve got people getting picked out of pools by an excavator, why wouldn’t there be dancers hired? Check out the Russian Carlton after the jump.

Miss Universe 2011 Is Miss Angola Leila Lopes [PHOTOS]

Miss Angola 2011 Leila Luliana da Costa Vieira Lopes was crowned Miss Universe 2011 in Sao Paulo, Brazil tonight (September 12th). The 5’10″ 25 year old beauty is the first ever Miss Angolan Miss Universe. As the bi-curious color commentators pointed out during the bikini portion of the pageant, Leila’s yellow suit popped, but obviously that wasn’t the only thing poppin’. People might call you Orville Redenbacher after seeing this gallery of her hottest pics. Check it out after the jump.

Tonya Michelle Is Today’s Daily Snapshot

Daily Snapshot is our round-up of the day’s hottest women on the web. Today’s edition features Tonya Michelle does Girl on Girl, frickin’ hot females in football jerseys, Mind the Gap Mondays, Rihanna is now modeling for Armani, Miranda Kerr is still unfairly attractive, the 20 hottest photos of Keira Knightley, Tancy Hanna gets saucy for Mixed Mag, Amy Paffrath is Maxim’s hot girl of the day, and the Lingerie Football League is back and they got back. Check out the hot pics after the jump!

AXE College Football Bucket List Week 2: Notre Dame vs Michigan [PHOTOS, VIDEO]

After this weekend’s Notre Dame vs. Michigan game at The Big House a man who’s been going to Michigan games for 45 years said this was the best he’s ever seen and it really was. Quinn was in Ann Arbor to take it all in. What a weekend. Leading up to the game, we took in the full Michigan football experience. Quinn hit up ESPN GameDay, met some college football legends, hosted a seriously rockin’ tailgate, and accomplished more incredible AXE College Football Bucket List items at the first ever night game in Michigan Stadium history. See the pics after the jump.

14 Cities That Have Never Kissed The Lombardi Trophy

Back in late May, we took a look at the 11 NHL cities that have never kissed Lord Stanley’s Cup. Almost 27% of voters thought the Capitals would be the team to bring their city its first ever championship. Atlanta was also on that list – now they don’t even have a team. But, at least they love their Falcons… even after 45 trophy-less years. So, with the Falcons considered Super Bowl contenders this season (even after their horrific loss to the Bears Sunday), we thought we’d take a look at all the NFL cities who’ve yet to hear their MVP say he’s going to Disney Land. Check out the full list then vote for the city you think will win its first ever Lombardi first after the jump.

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