COED’s Super Duper Quick Guide To Uppers

There are too many things to do and not enough hours in the day. It’s true. You don’t have to go to that party tonight when you have 4 back to back hours of finals tomorrow. And you don’t have to jump on the hotel treadmill in Vegas after drinking all day at the pool before going clubbing. You don’t have to but…um…. well, these will help you do it all. Check out the full rundown after the jump.

Miss COED: Marissa Kay [13 PICS]

Marissa’s a 21 year old model from Orlando, FL who’s also a full-time student at UCF. She prides herself on being 100% natural and ‘unenhanced,’ going so far as to not even having her ears pierced. She’s currently involved in a ‘Supermodel’ Competition on Facebook, so check out her fan page and then join her ‘entourage‘ in support. Being in Marissa’s Entourage is just like the show, only you don’t have to deal with a sub-par fourth season. Check out her pics and stats after the jump.

Katy Perry Gets Smurf’d [12 PHOTOS]

The newly blonde Katy Perry made an appearance at the NYC premiere of The Smurfs movie over the weekend and what went down served as yet another testament to the power of her rack. When you got Smurfs trying to grab your goods, you know you’ve got something special. Either that or Smurfette, who Perry voices in the film, is a narcissist and was attempting to grab herself on Katy’s dress. Sofia Vergara was also in attendance, prompting many to suggest a “boob off” with Mrs. Russell Brand. Check out the pics and let us know who’s got better chesticles – Katy or Sofia in our poll after the jump.

Little Boy Tries to Keep Pimp Hand Strong, Doesn’t Want Marriage [VIDEO]

I feel like this is the second commercial to that bogus ‘Hail to the V’ series for Summer’s Eve. It shows what happens after those fights. Here’s what probably happened: after this boy kicked the other neighborhood sh*t out of the sandbox, he won this girl (just like in the commercial). Now she’s getting it all confused, thinking he wants marriage. Nope, he just wanted some of that cootie-free “V” and becomes visibly upset about the confusion. Check out the hilarious argument below!

9 (More) Sexual Mistakes You Made in College

COED cares about you. That’s why offering sound sex advice to our readers is part of our mission statement. (The other part is boobs.) So when Maxim came out with its “9 Sexual Mistakes You Made in College,” we thought we’d supplement their list with nine of our own. By no means a comprehensive guide to collegiate copulation, these pointers should help get you o… Click to read more

Troy Polamalu Gets A Sneak Attack Buzzcut [VIDEO]

I’m not on the Pittsburgh Steelers, but I’m pretty sure that its a good idea to have a healthy fear of Troy Polamalu. This teammate of his didn’t get that memo, because he has no problem going up behind Troy and buzzing off some of his hair. The whole time, I thought that Troy was just luring him in like he does time and time again with QBs, only to pounce at the last second. Yeah, didn’t happen. Troy’s gonna have a bald spot for some time now.

How To Sound Smarter Than You Are

We all believe that everybody thinks we’re smart. Sorry to disappoint, but those who bother to think about you at all probably don’t have that word in mind. The only chance you have to prove your worth is when talking to other people face on — forget about social networking because it’s not the same. To sound smarter than you are, which is to say making others perceive you as one smart dude, follow these few simple rules. See, by listening to me, you’re smarter already. Read (if you can) after the jump!

I Want to Go Skiing With These 45 Chicks Right the F*** Now

When I was looking at yesterday’s Miss COED, I saw that she liked to snowboarding. I started to cry. Why? Because it was 102 f*cking degrees in Manhattan and here I was blogging with a bunch of dudes about some fine girl who snowboards on the reg. Right then and there I would have given a year of my life to be on the mountain with some hottie shredding some fresh pow-pow. So because I’m a rotten individual who likes to make everyone as miserable as me, here are 45 pictures of the hottest girls to ever step foot in a winter wonderland. Feel free to either use your sweat or tears as lube.

Cali Swag District Teaches You 5 Dances Guaranteed to Get You Laid

Like it or not… many women will tell you straight-up: A guy who can dance has a much easier path to a lady’s heart! than a wallflower does. That fact is generally understood, although the naturally-uncoordinated fellas out there try to keep this as hush-hush as possible. For the most part, we fit into the uncoordinated category but we figured we should try to help our readers. We then decided to enlisted the professionals known as the Cali Swag District to throwdown the 5 best dances a guy should learn if they want to “get in them drawers.”

Amy Winehouse Dead at 27 [PHOTOS]

Amy Winehouse was found dead Saturday afternoon in her London home. The cause of death has to be determined. The singer-songwriter’s career has been plummeting downward and out of control since she first topped the charts with 2006′s Record of the Year, Back to Black. Excessive amounts of alcohol and drugs certainly had taken their toll in recent years on the body “and teeth” of the once-very-promising and sexy songstress. It has not been a good week for the British or their Tabloids.

Protect Your Nest Egg and Other Sh*t With This Swann Security System (TECH POST)

Ever wish you could afford one of those home security kits that protects your doors and windows and all that good stuff? And doesn’t take any time to set up? Or maintain? And that doesn’t have wires that you have to string all over the place? Oh, and cheap too? Read our resident tech expert’s opinion on how this Swann Wireless Security System responds when you need it the most. Review after the jump!

92 Hot Girls Eating Hot Dogs For National Hot Dog Day 2011

Some countries enjoy bratwurst, others sausages, but we in ‘Merica loves us some hot dogs. As a country, we show our love by devoting today, National Hot Dog Day, to the delicious treat. As a website, we show our love by posting 92 chicks putting weiners in their mouths. Aren’t we patriotic? Yes, you can show your support by throwing some on the grill later. For now, though, check out these 92 ‘not-dogs’ enjoying some hot dogs.

Beavis and Butthead Do 2011: New Episode Footage from Comic-Con [VIDEO]

Mike Judge and MTV released some new footage at this year’s Comic Con of Beavis and Butthead after the show went on 14 year hiatus. The duo get right back into their act, this time picking on the Jersey Shore. “This is like a family tree, if your family was made of whores.” The clip I’ve included shows Beavis taking some drugs, getting a… Click to read more

Wrap It Up: Milk Was A Bad Choice Edition

In today’s edition of Wrap It Up, it’s just do damn hot! We feature a tragic bombing and shooting in Oslo, Norway, an upwards flowing waterfall, a sneak peek at season 2 of The Walking Dead, the full trailer for Dexter’s sixth season, Rosario Dawson in a bikini, Katie Holmes as a dominatrix, Natasha Barnard (who?) in Cosmo, Pamela Anderson in lingerie, Katy Perry as a blonde, Christina Hendricks as Wonder Woman, a Good Ol’ Fashioned Orgy, and much more! Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump.

10 Dudes You’d Want To Swap Lives With

The scenario’s all too familiar, you’re sitting on your couch, out-of-shape, covered in food crumbs watching Conan, Jimmy, SportsCenter or… E! News… and you see a guy who’s got it all. Money, looks, women – the dude isn’t lacking in ANY of those categories. With the new body swap comedy “The Change-Up” hitting theaters August 5th, we decided to take a look at the 10 dudes we’d like to pee in a magical wish-granting fountain with. Check out who made the cut in our slideshow after the jump.

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