The 23 Funniest Cocktail Names

When you first get into a bar, you’re so pumped that you finally made it in that you either forget what to order or you blurt out something you heard at a party once because it either sounded impressive or it’s the only drink you remembered. After a while, though, you get tired of barking out the same thing. We’ve got just the list for you – a rundown of the funniest and coolest sounding drink orders to try out next time you go out. Buyer beware, these are not the drinks to order when at a packed bar during peak hours, you’ll end up emptyhanded and blacklisted. See our list after the jump.

He Said / She Said: 5 Things We Think Girls Do After Breaking Up With Us

He Said/She Said is a dating, sex, and relationship series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – we know, an impossible feat. Every week we’ll be throwing out a different topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: How Us Dudes Think Chicks Handle Breaking Up. Check out our side after the jump!

[98 PHOTOS] Courtney Alexis Stodden – 16, Marries 51-Year-Old Actor Doug Hutchison

We’re pretty open-minded here at COED; it takes a lot to shock us. But every once in a while, a news item dances by our desk that makes us pull a double take. In this case, it might even be a triple. First, is the fat that this dude is 51 and has the balls to marry a 16-year-old. Second is the fact that this is the OLDEST looking 16-year-old (sans aging disease or disorder), we’ve EVER seen. Just take a look at the pics and video we found and vote in our poll. We’re thinking someone made a mistake and they’ve been DATING for 16 years and she’s actually 32. Not AS creepy, but still WTF. See what we mean after the jump.

Maxim Model Michelle Baker & Bikini Teammates Host Bodypainting X-hibition At Hedonism II [50 PHOTOS]

A buddy of ours pointed us to Maxim Hometown Hottie Michelle Baker‘s Facebook album of pics from her trip to Hedonism II where she hosted the Bodypainting X-hibition featuring the Jamaican Me Crazy Bikini Team. I’ve never been to Hedonism and I don’t know anyone who has, so jury’s still out on whether or not it’s everything it’s been cracked up to be, but if girls like Michelle and her hot teammates are any indication, it could be worth a test run. Check out the sexiest pics from the album after the jump.

8 Rides That’ll Have Her Riding Your Stick Shift

Since the dawn of time, guys have used their cars to make them look and feel cool. Old men buy slick Corvettes to make them feel younger. Guys who suffer from the Napoleon complex buy huge Chevy pickup trucks to make them feel better about what they lack in size. Funny thing is, that sh*t works. In a recent study, women admitted they are more attracted to men driving Porsches. Apparently, a man driving a luxury car was more appealing to date than a man driving “a Honda Civic.” Who knew. Check out our list of 8 cars guaranteed to get you laid after the jump.

7 Cartoon Characters Who Are Probably Sex Offenders

We all know about the lewd sexual behaviors of guys like Moe Szyslak and Glenn Quagmire. But what about the animated perverts who are a little better at masking their dangerous erotic appetites? Check out our list of the 7 cartoon characters you’re most likely to find on the Sex Offender Registry after the jump.

Miss COED: Devrie Townsend [11 PICS]

Devrie’s a 23 year old from Webster, TX, which is about 30-40 minutes outside of Houston by car. She’s one of Maxim’s Hometown Hotties this year and has been featured as the cover model for Blitz Weekly, which you should definitely pick up. Get it? Model? Blitz? Pick up? We really hope the f***ing NFL ends the lockout soon. Check out her pics and stats after the jump.

Guidos Have Got to Stop Being Guidos [VIDEO]

This video has an example of a guido that doesn’t get a lot of media coverage: the older, entrepreneurial guido. Bobby VIG has come up with a life coaching technique that allows you to use 80% of your brain with just a little bit of hair die and amphetamines. You really owe it to yourself to watch this video. Don’t you want to become a Very Important Guy/Girl?

2011 Governors Ball in Pictures [147 PHOTOS]

The first ever Governors Ball was this past Saturday and the COED crew got the opportunity to go. The weather held up and the acts didn’t disappoint. Girl Talk, Pretty Lights, Big Boi, Das Racist, Passion Pit and others kept the crowd pumped even after the beer supply vanished. There were hotties and hipsters galore. Check out all the musical melody and madness in our mega huge photo gallery below. And for the record, Ned wasn’t the guy in the Charlotte Hornets hat selling ecstasy. That was some other dude.

Wrap It Up: The Day Ryan Dunn Died Edition

Welcome to COED’s end of the day feature in which we show you the pics, vids, stories you might’ve missed on the internet. Today’s items include Roger Ebert’s tweet about Ryan Dunn’s passing, Alyssa Campanella winning Miss USA 2011, Hilary Clinton’s intern is now a porn star, Keanu Reeves cashing in on the Sad Keanu meme, Stephen Spielberg ordering Michael Bay to fire Megan Fox, Green Lantern bombing, Dominique Jones neck tattoo, Tyler Seguin stripping, Rory McIlroy drinking out of the US Open trophy and much more. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump!

Steve Buscemeyes, Yoda’s Words of Wisdom, F*ck the 20s [TUMBLRS OF THE WEEK]

At COED we try to pay homage to the funniest sites on the web. With our Tumblrs of the Week column, we highlight the best, most WTF Tumblrs. This week’s Tumblrs feature timeless wisdom from an elderly green resident of Dagobah, Steve Buscemi’s peepers added to chicks’ faces, and the epitome of existing in your 20s now. Check ‘em out after the jump.

Baby Making Music: The 10 Best Bands To Get Laid To [VIDEOS]

Getting laid is, hands down, the best thing in the world. The only way you can do better than getting your rocks off is having an awesome soundtrack to accompany it. A great band helps to set the tone for your boning and gives you an auditory cue for when to pick up the pace or slacken off. Check out our list of 10 bands and artists to crank up the next time you hook up after the hump… we mean, jump.

The 15 Funniest Trucker Hats Worn By Squidbillies’ Early Cuyler [PHOTOS]

Squidbillies Volume 4 releases on DVD tomorrow, June 21st. The disc features 10 episodes and various bonus materials. One of the reasons Squidbillies has made it 5 seasons (with the sixth set to premiere September 11th) is Early Cuyler, the rowdy racist with a penchant for boozin’, muddin’, shootin’, and general mischief-makin’. He’s also got a kick-ass collection of trucker hats that put 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander to shame. Check ‘em out after the jump.

Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella’s 125 Sexiest Facebook Photos

If you didn’t tune in for the Miss USA 2011 pageant last night, you missed Kelly Osbourne being completely out-of-place and the crowning of this year’s winner, Miss California USA Alyssa Campanella. We had a hunch she’d win and her Q&A segment pretty much sealed the deal. We’re still baffled about Miss Florida and Miss Hawaii getting the early exit, though. Anyway, we’re friends with the red-hot redhead on Facebook and we want you to be friends with her, too, so we pulled her sexiest pics from her album and placed them in the gallery you see after the jump.

We Want YOU To See These Rad Recruitment Posters [34 PHOTOS]

James Montgomery Flagg’s 1917 Uncle Sam “I Want You” poster was based on the original British Lord Kitchener poster of three years earlier. It was used to recruit soldiers for both World War I and World War II. The Uncle Sam character is actually based on Samuel Wilson, a meat packer from upstate NY who shipped beef to the U.S. Army in barrels marked “U.S.” during the War of 1812. Flagg called it “most famous poster in the world.” We’d have to agree as countless artists have given it their own twist with iconic characters substituting for Uncle Sam like Darth Vader, Doctor Doom, GI Joe’s Cobra, Master Shredder and more. Check it out after the jump.

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