How to Date Out of Your League
September 2, 2010 Posted in 18+, Dating & Sex, Girls, Guy's Room, Lifestyle
The holy grail of dating is to actually find a girl who’s hot but is still willing to go out with you. And as you’ve already figured out, that’s really hard. But even if you’re not as attractive or as suave as that friend who has so much sex you want to punch him, even if you “have no game,” there are a few ways to tip the scales in your favor. These aren’t magic bullets. They’re practical, actionable things that you can do to help you snag that gorgeous girl who it turns out has low enough self esteem to actually go for you.
1. Actually Ask Girls Out on Dates
Look, you can’t date out of your league if you don’t have the balls to actually ask a girl out on a date. Sure, you might be able to get lucky at a party with a drunk girl, but as you’ve already experienced, it’s harder to do that consistently than you fantasized about in high school. So many guys whine inwardly about not being a chick-magnet and forget it’s because they don’t actually put themselves out there and talk to any girls.
If you want to date a girl who’s out of your league, you have to man up and make a move. Just talk to her. If you already know her, ask her if she wants to go out to dinner; if you don’t, ask for her number. And I hate to say it, but the Swingers rule is true: don’t call her right away. Don’t be Jon Favreau.
The key is to be perceptive. The problem for most guys who are unlucky with girls is not that they’re bad looking, it’s that they’re oblivious. Girls make it very obvious when they don’t like what you’re doing (and for the record, pick-up lines and transparent attempts to impress her never work). If she’s interested, she won’t be looking around the room for her girlfriends to save her. She won’t be responding to your questions in polite two-word answers. In fact, she won’t have to respond to too many of your questions, because she’ll be asking you questions, too.
If you’re not getting the signs, move on. Rejection sucks at first, but if you actually follow this advice and go talk to a lot of girls, two things happen: one, rejection will stop sucking so much, and two, your ratio of rejections/non-rejections will very slowly begin to balance out. I promise you: the world won’t run out of hot girls. Especially in college towns.
2. Don’t Talk About Yourself. At All.
“When I was in seventh grade, I was really into Magic: The Gathering.”
“Yeah, I love movies! I even went to the midnight opening of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Sat in the front row.”
“While I was masturbating this morning I was thinking about my mom…”
Okay, so all of those are pretty extreme examples of what not to say to a girl. (Or anyone.) The other so-obvious-it’s-a-movie-cliché no-no? Talking about an ex-girlfriend. I’m going to be straight with you here: if you even have the urge to talk about your ex-girlfriend, you’re not ready to get out there yet, and you’re doomed to fail.
But the “don’t talk about yourself” rule extends beyond just the obvious. I really mean don’t talk about yourself at all. You know why? You’re not interesting. You work in the scheduling department of a non-profit? You taught yourself web design? Your football team made sectionals in high school? Your professor is just super, super lame? Don’tcaredon’tcaredon’tcaredon’tcare.
Depending on exactly how “out of your league” the girl is, she’s probably not interesting either. Unless she’s Mary-Louise Parker’s illegitimate daughter who got the hot genes from her mom and currently works as a spy for the CIA, chances are she’s just some random bitchy princess you want to sleep with, in which case — pat yourself on the back — she’s even less interesting than you. If you ever want her to go down on you, just shut up and listen.
3. But At the Same Time, Don’t Be a Pussy.
There’s shutting up and listening to her stories, and then there’s letting her whine to you about this guy who’s mean to her and she’s so glad she has a really, really great friend like you. If you’ve gotten to the latter point, you’re beyond saving.
It’s not a secret anymore that in general, girls are attracted to guys who don’t treat them well. And it makes perfect sense: she’s really hot and has lived a life of everyone, especially guys like you, tripping over themselves to please her. The one guy who does things differently catches her attention.
But there’s two things wrong with that rule. First, you can only really pull it off if you’re good-looking. If you’re a hot jerk, you’re a badass; if you’re an average-looking jerk, you’re a tool. It’s not fair, but such is life.
The other problem is that most of you who need to read articles like this one are too nice. You literally cannot be a jerk to a girl. Your parents taught you manners, thank you very much, and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that.
There’s not. The solution? Just be assertive. That means, simply, that you should come across like a man who knows what he wants. When you ask her out, give her a specific time, place, and activity. Never say “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” If she asks your opinion on something, give it to her. Etc.
If she does specifically ask you about yourself, you’re permitted to tell her that you have a steady job or are well on your way down a lucrative career path. No, she’s not seriously considering you as a mate yet, but if you think there’s no difference between “I’m studying to be a lawyer” and “I’m an English major,” you’re wrong.
The holy grail of dating is to actually find a girl who’s hot but is still willing to go out with you. And as you’ve already figured out, that’s really hard. But even if you’re not as attractive or as suave as that friend who has so much sex you want to punch him, even if you “have no game,” there are a few ways to tip the scales in your favor. These aren’t magic bullets. They’re practical, actionable things that you can do to help you snag that gorgeous girl who it turns out has low enough self esteem to actually go for you.
1. Actually Ask Girls Out on Dates
Look, you can’t date out of your league if you don’t have the balls to actually ask a girl out on a date. Sure, you might be able to get lucky at a party with a drunk girl, but as you’ve already experienced, it’s harder to do that consistently than you fantasized about in high school. So many guys whine inwardly about not being a chick-magnet and forget it’s because they don’t actually put themselves out there and talk to any girls.
If you want to date a girl who’s out of your league, you have to man up and make a move. Just talk to her. If you already know her, ask her if she wants to go out to dinner; if you don’t, ask for her number. And I hate to say it, but the Swingers rule is true: don’t call her right away. Don’t be Jon Favreau.
The key is to be perceptive. The problem for most guys who are unlucky with girls is not that they’re bad looking, it’s that they’re oblivious. Girls make it very obvious when they don’t like what you’re doing (and for the record, pick-up lines and transparent attempts to impress her never work). If she’s interested, she won’t be looking around the room for her girlfriends to save her. She won’t be responding to your questions in polite two-word answers. In fact, she won’t have to respond to too many of your questions, because she’ll be asking you questions, too.
If you’re not getting the signs, move on. Rejection sucks at first, but if you actually follow this advice and go talk to a lot of girls, two things happen: one, rejection will stop sucking so much, and two, your ratio of rejections/non-rejections will very slowly begin to balance out. I promise you: the world won’t run out of hot girls. Especially in college towns.
2. Don’t Talk About Yourself. At All.
“When I was in seventh grade, I was really into Magic: The Gathering.”
“Yeah, I love movies! I even went to the midnight opening of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Sat in the front row.”
“While I was masturbating this morning I was thinking about my mom…”
Okay, so all of those are pretty extreme examples of what not to say to a girl. The other so-obvious-it’s-a-movie-cliché no-no? Talking about an ex-girlfriend. I’m going to be straight with you here: if you even have the urge to talk about your ex-girlfriend, you’re not ready to get out there yet, and you’re doomed to fail.
But the “don’t talk about yourself” rule extends beyond just the obvious. I really mean don’t talk about yourself at all. You know why? You’re not interesting. You work in the scheduling department of a non-profit? You taught yourself web design? Your football team made sectionals in high school? Your professor is just super, super lame? Don’tcaredon’tcaredon’tcaredon’tcare.
Depending on exactly how “out of your league” the girl is, she’s probably not interesting either. Unless she’s Mary-Louise Parker’s illegitimate daughter who got the hot genes from her mom and currently works as a spy for the CIA, chances are she’s just some random bitchy princess you want to sleep with, in which case — pat yourself on the back — she’s even less interesting than you. But if you want her lips to ever touch your penis, just shut up and listen.
3. But At the Same Time, Don’t Be a Pussy.
There’s shutting up and listening to her stories, and then there’s letting her whine to you about this guy who’s mean to her and she’s so glad she has a really, really great friend like you. If you’ve gotten to the latter point, you’re beyond saving.
It’s not a secret anymore that in general, girls are attracted to guys who don’t treat them well. And it makes perfect sense: she’s really hot and has lived a life of everyone, especially guys like you, tripping over themselves to please her. The one guy who does things differently catches her attention.
But there’s two things wrong with that rule. First, you can only really pull it off if you’re good-looking. If you’re a hot jerk, you’re a badass; if you’re an average-looking jerk, you’re a tool. It’s not fair, but such is life.
The other problem is that most of you who need to read articles like this one are too nice. You literally cannot be a jerk to a girl. Your parents taught you manners, thank you very much, and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that.
There’s not. The solution? Just be assertive. That means, simply, that you should come across like a man who knows what he wants. When you ask her out, give her a specific time, place, and activity. Never say “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” If she asks your opinion on something, give it to her. Etc.
If she does specifically ask you about yourself, you’re permitted to tell her that you have a steady job or are well on your way down a lucrative career path. No, she’s not seriously considering you as a mate yet, but if you think there’s no difference between “I’m studying to be a lawyer” and “I’m an English major,” you’re wrong.
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Kelly has the herp dude, and shes actually 16 not 15…
You forgot to say:
Always wear AXE deodorant; C'mon – you've seen the commercials!!!
That sh*t is a-MAZ-ing !
Very good.
Also always good to remember that the 7 or 8 at a bar has men going up to her at the time, because they are shooting at "their level"
The 10 very rarely has anyone approach her. That's where we step in.
It's lonely for girls at the top.
Schmidty
http://www.stylethroughintelligence.com
So now I know how all these ugly dudes bagged hot girls.
Seriously, guys, it's all about #3. No, we don't all like jerks, but there is a huge difference between an asshole and someone who's simply assertive and decisive. Don't be wishy washy! Have a spine and make us do a little bit of work at holding your attention. The sad truth is that a guy who's ALWAYS available and has no strong opinions and never has at least a suggested plan ready is highly unattractive. And even if you are, in fact, desperate to get laid, never let on about it. That guy who's getting all the pussy is getting it for precisely the reason that girls can tell he's not dying to be with them. Independence is hot.
There is so much wrong with this post. For real, constructive advice on how to meet and date the women you want, check out Charisma Arts. Definitely don't follow this hacked guide that was probably constructed from reading other similar posts rather than actually spending time "in the field".
4. Don't get a tattoo like this guy: http://www.namethegarels.com/2009/07/immediately-…
Create yourself a female AV in SecondLife. You'll quickly learn how slimy guys can be. Once you have, make sure you're not like that. :)
Best advice: Get a life! Do things you're interested in doing. Have fun. If you're comfortable with yourself and your life, you're more attractive. When you've given up on finding a girlfriend and decide to get on with your life, you'll suddenly find yourself in a relationship.
Sadly success breeds success. Don't associate or hang around ugly chicks or guys. Once you're getting it from 1 hot girl you can easily get it from more. When that hot girl you're with gets 'comfortable' you'll lose your other options as well (experience talking here).
Best approach is to move your League way up, then you can "date out of your league" downwards! Trust me, this is a much easier approach.
How about this. Basically everyone guy is in the same league as you. Be the only guy with the cajones to talk to her at all. Everyone is intimidated by beauty and power. She’s beautiful your intimidated, be powerful (assertive) and balance the situation
http://www.kingmakerblog.com
Actually, i am a female with alot of experience, and i can tell you most that stuff isnt that good.
Actually asking a woman out is good advice, most men just flirt but expect you to ask or something, even if we are flirting back.
Dont ask too soon though, if your shy, try to pretend its for a different reason, like you start talking to this chick or whatever, and at the end say “im new to this town, is it ok if we hang out sometime, i dont know many people here yet” or, when you talk to her try to find out her interests like maybe a sport or skiiing or rock climbing, as soon as she mentions one, sound really excited and go on about how much you love it too but none of your friends want to go, there just interested in going to the pub etc” or another one, find out what she likes done, maybe she loves getting her nails done, manicures,pedicures, hair treatments, etc, and tell her that your mum is a beauty theripist, and to give your number cause shes great and does your friends for free”
and be creative.. they usually work. women really hate pickup lines usually, theyre old and cheesy and the oldest line in the book..so dont use them.
Go for women that have lack of confidence, or look sad or anxious or whatever, they often love attention and often are craving a partner.
Hot chicks with drinking problems..theyre often drunk, they will often call you at midnight to get them to pick them up from the club – usually meaning free sex for you!
Pretend you have a good job. and lots of money.
For my own self, that stuff above had usually worked for me, id date them for a while and whatever,but unless you make a good long lasting impression, she will eventually leave you from boredom, young hot girls crave excitement and spontanius fun..make sure you make her laugh, take her out for all the things she loves doing, dinnersall the time, spoil her with money that you dont even really have, because once she falls in love, you can then stop spending money an you will always have her..
tell her how pretty she looks whenever you pick her up for a date.
when you sleep beside her tickle down her back, and softly play with her hair til she falls asleep, girls love that so much. so much i cant even describe, my current longest relationship ive ever had, done that at the start and it made him seem so caring and loving and sweet, girls notice these things.
figure out her sense of style, is she a hard rock alcohic chick, or a club girl, or a save the enviroment chic?
whatever she is, adapt yourself to do things that she would really notice, such as for the enviroment chick, if your walking in the park and you see a plastic bag, pick it up and tell her that an animal could have died from that, and how selfish people are for littering.
never EVER evver! i mean fucking ever call her fat or big or chubby or curvy even nothing along the line!EVEN IF YOU BREAK UP! because alot of women get moodswings or psm, have an argument and dump the guy, then regret it the next day and ask him back. but if he called her a fatass or that she was starting to put on weight anyway..she will never even sympathy fuck you again.
Some guys think the “treat em mean, keep em keen” thing works, thats the worst thing you could do, a women wont take that shit for very long, never ever attempt it early on, the only time this can kind of work is if she starts losing interest with you months or years down the track, kind of pretend your not that interested either, then she may try to impress you, begging for attention, not “mean” though, just like..if she hasnt called you for days, dont run to the phone to call her, wait for her to call, and pretend you didnt even notice, that will piss her off, but in a good way , cause she will be worried that you dont like her no more and she’ll make an extra effort for you, maybe even a Bj.
a few quick tips, i cant be fucked to write much more, both women and men are so different, its hard to fully understand each other, women probably think the same about men sometimes, even hot ones..my sister never dates, shes shy and doesnt really start up convos with men, she wished men would ask her instead, i think men are intimedated by her hottness and dont think they would stand a chance..
Massage, tickle her back, play with her hair
Always tell her how pretty/beautiful/stunning/gorgeous she looks
Choose a pet name for her other then just “babe” babe is so common and impersonal, try something sweet and cute that fits her..like blondey, or angel eyes, or bumblebee
Text her a goodnight everynight, preferrably “sweet dreams”
Always be smiling around her, always laugh at her jokes no matter how spastic they are.
Pick/buy her flowers, or if you are walking along, pick a flower out of a tree and give her it, or put behind her ear.
Bring her gifts
We like teddy bears, lingerie, pink things, alcoholic drinks, cocktails, jewelery, anything with bling, lipgloss, lollipops, compact mirrors, handbags, perfume, body jewelery, hair products, moisterisers, shoes, Cds
If your going to get her flowers, most women prefer a dozen red roses, or half dozen red roses, then white roses, and we love those roses that have been dyed too, like blue ones.
NEVER EVER buy a woman fake flowers EMBARRASING!
if your buying jewelry, ask a woman at the shop her opion (around the same age) preferably the shopkeeper
With perfume, just ask the most popular ones..or ones named after a celebrity like britney spears, xtinas, jlo’s etc.
For anniversarys, valentines, birthday etc-
spend minimum of $100.
Photo albums are nice for them, specially if you add your own touch, sort through all your favourite photos of you both, and arrange them in a photo book, or even a scrapbook. maybe add some pretty i love you stickers, hearts etc.
And 12 roses, and a box of chocolates, jewelery, lingerie, designer handbags, or designer sunnys.
Never ask her size if your planning on buying clothes, secretly look at her clothes tags when shes in the shower.
dont ask weight.
Dont talk about your ex girlfriend
if your still friends with your ex, dont tell her that, just pretend the breakup was mutual, but that you’s never talk.
if she asks you if you want babies one day, pretend you do, even if you dont, she’ll probably have dumped your ass before that day comes anyway, and if you say no that day will be much sooner.
Girls dont like to have short term relationships, with men, we think that its wasteing time if you know that theres something stopping you both from being together forever, ie having children..so they’d rather break up early, rather then ignore the problem..its weird..cause guys dont give s shit about short term relationships..girls think for the “future”..guys think “now”
No, I lick my eyebrows too, every now and then and it works. I learned it from this kid when I was in college in DC.
He just sits at center of a bar – so getting a prime location with traffic (girls walking through, stopping by, taking pics and stuff) is key – and he'd just simply lay back on his chair and lick his eyebrows.
And he met a lot of chicks.
But then you gotta start talking back to them – otherwise they will go back to doing whatever they were doing. So plan to do something after you attract them by licking your eyebrows.
I never see you in real life. but if you come over and stay with me at 441 Center St. Centerville SD. Then you might just make my day easier today. So please come over!
At the bar I point my willy in the girls direction. If she licks her lips and opens her legs a bit so can see her panties I know I might have a chance.
no cause he is a pussy. he gets dicks
Great post. I liked it.
Do you know there are a few dating coaches actually teaching men in workshops/programs on how to actually date women the RIGHT WAY? ha ha. sounds funny, ain't it?
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the first bit of advice is true, youre not gonna get laid if you dont talk to girls. You can talk about yourself if you are actually interesting but not nearly as much as youve got to listen to her talk about herself. In my vast and varied experience, the majority of girls are pretty goddamn self centered, so play into that. Also, not every girl is a shit head, there are nice, cool girls out there who also happen to be attractice, theyre just a tiny minority.
I think most of us feel we are dating out of our league but most of us lack the confidence to date in our own league at times. we need to respect women and ourselves more and confidence will build for us then truly you can start dating more successfully. http://www.rainbowofluv.com
Дискутировать по этому поводуможно бесконечно, поэтому просто хочу поблагодарить автора. Спасибо вам!
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