Top 5 WTF! College Mascots

Mascots are supposed to represent your school, be an emblem of strength for your team, and to cause your opponent to piss their pants from fear. Normally, teams choose something like a Tiger, or a Bulldog, or a drunken fighting Leprechaun. A good mascot will psych out the enemy with dead plastic eyes and murderous grins….these are not those.

5. Testudo, The Turtle (University of Maryland)

I’m sure they had their reasons when it was chosen in the 1930′s. I’m sure John Hopkins students stealing a big bronze version of it in its earlier days should’ve clued them in that it probably wasn’t the most intimidating of mascots. I’m sure it also didn’t occur to them that its name sounded unfortunately similar to a male body part (a couple to be exact). If it had, they might have have gone another direction than a turtle. Yet the University of Maryland reveres Testudo…but until he’s sporting a ninja sword or a pair of nunchuks. He’s firmly on this list. Plus…he looks like he’d be a jerk on the road:

4. Cayenne, The Ragin’ Cajun Pepper (University of Lousiana-Lafayette)

Looking like a character that could be the Kool-Aid Man‘s sidekick Lil Sprout, Cayenne just gives heartburn. I love Cayenne peppers. I love the team name: Ragin’ Cajuns. I even can get behind the school emblem: a flaming Fleur-de-Lis. But choosing a spicy pepper with hair of a surfer is unforgivable…if you’re going to commit to it, at least make Cayenne red for freakin’ sake!  As he stands now he looks like a ginger kid Vanilla ice freak.  I’m ragin’ just thinking about it!

3. Big Al, The Elephant (University of Alabama)

Elephants are dangerous and intimidating creatures who can go all Fight Club on an unsuspecting observer when they want to. They are NOT intimidating when they look like Horton Hears a Who. Sure, looks CAN be deceiving when Big Al lays the smackdown on Seymour (Southern Miss’s mascot) but on pure Dr. Seuss looks alone, Big Al is placed at number 3.

2. Otto, The Orange (Syracuse University)

What is it supposed to be? A displaced orange M&M? A street hockey ball? The sun? Yes…I know that Otto’s an Orange. He’s arguably one of the most famous mascots in college sports. That doesn’t save him from making you go WTF when the powers-that-be conceived this walking gay love child of Pac-Man and Mr. Met. I suppose I shouldn’t be too harsh considering the alternatives they’ve come up with over the years: the Saltine Warrior, and an orange tuxedo wearing troll named Egnaro…I wish I was making this up.

1. The Tree (Stanford University)

I just don’t know where to begin with this spastic dancing tree. How about that it looks like a homemade Halloween costume? How about how the Stanford’s team name is the Cardinals? How about it looks like that it never looks exactly the same every year because the person who takes it over creates it again from scratch? How about that it’s A TREE??? It doesn’t even have a cardinal sitting in it. My eye is twitching just thinking about how confusing of a choice this is.  If you’re going to do a tree, do it up Treebeard-style like they did in Lord of the Rings. Now there’s intimidation for ya! If you’re upset with this choice then I’ve got one link for ya on how you too can become “The Tree”.

Need one last thing…alright…if this doesn’t convince you, nothing will.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeO7jvvTLg0

Show some support! Click here to get all your favorite college sports gear at up to 70% off.