COED’s Guide To Upcoming NCAA College Championships

By Reasonableq

Everyone who is semi-conscious knows that March Madness is right around the corner. But NCAA basketball isn’t the only sport crowning its champions in the next few months. Here is a complete guide to the lesser-known upcoming NCAA college championships. Read up on them now so that you’ll totally have the advantage when everyone starts making their wresting championship brackets.

NCAA Wrestling Finals – March 12 and 13

Perennial masters of grappling Iowa, Oklahoma, Minnesota, and Kent State will be sending their Bruisers to Nebraska for a non-stop clinic of wrestling technique and bodily destruction.  Watch the lightweight wrestlers in combat- they’re getting groped harder than freshman girls at their first frat party.

NCAA March Madness Championship – April 5 on CBS

The greatest annual basketball showdown returns.  Expect John “Balls to the” Wall’s Kansas squad to go deep and anticipate, per usual, high-powered teams like Purdue, Duke, and North Carolina to cut a gaping, demoralizing swath through would-be Cinderella squads for an explosive Final Four in Indianapolis this year.

NCAA Lacrosse Championship – May 31 on ESPN, 3:30

I’ll spare you the obvious ‘shafts and balls’ jokes here.  The college lacrosse outlook is tougher  and more talented than ever as juggernauts, such as Johns Hopkins, Syracuse, UMBC and Princeton, commit acts of turf murder during the finals.  Make sure to watch for a Cornell/Syracuse grudge match. Between last year’s close championship game and spending the last eight months playing in a constant blizzard, there’s going to be some tension.

NCAA College World Series Championship – June 30

So maybe they’re not all future pros (okay, maybe none of them are future pros), but they play with the same identifiable power of NCAA football programs: The power of kids with something to prove.  The LSU boys are looking to defend their title against a cadre of tough as nails teams including Virginia and TCU.