When It’s Ok To Lie About Your Age

Although a gentleman should never lie to intentionally hurt someone, there are situations that warrant a man telling a “little white lie”. Here are the Top 5 reasons to lie about your age:

1. If you get the opportunity to pitch in the Little League World Series.

In 2001 Danny Almonte, and young pitcher from the Dominican Republis, who moved to the Bronx,  pitched the first perfect game in the Little League World Series since 1957. His staggering 70 mph fastball and large stance gave way to rumors that he was older than 12 years of age, the maximum age a player could be to participate in the event. After months of background checks by private investigators, it was revealed that Almonte was actually 14 years old at the time of the perfect game. Subsequent records (his 3-0 record and perfect game) were stripped from the books and he was sent packing. Almonte is still actively pursuing a Major League contract, something that may come easier with the publicity he occurred back in 2001 when he was deemed “Little Unit.”

2. If you have the chance to co-star with a mega celebrity like Miley Cyrus.

In 2006, Jason Earles, an actor from San Diego California, was cast as Jackson Stewart, the 16 year old brother of Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana (played by Miley Cyrus) on Disney Channel’s Hannah Montana. Earles told producers his birth date was April 26, 1985 making him the appropriate age to be cast (19). The Associated Press has since revealed Earles true age of 32. Who would have thought a “man” nearly twice Miley’s age could pose as her 16 year old brother. This just proves, if you’ve got a chance at stardom take it, you may be playing on the blue team alongside Earles at next years Disney Channel Games (I had never heard of it either).

3. On a resume.

Lying on a resume is hardly a new idea, and companies are increasing their bids to oust resume cheaters through more intense background checks. Yet knowing that many other individuals are at this time “enhancing ” their own resumes, you should first understand what a resume really is. A resume is a short description of personal and academic accomplishments bound by carefully placed words (nouns, verbs etc.) that attempt to reflect the kind of person you are. They do not however reflect your attitude or personality accurately, which in my opinion leaves them as fair game to “enhance.”

For Example: If a company is looking to hire a Sales Executive with three years experience, what’s stopping you from suggesting to them that you do have three years experience? At best it’ll get you that coveted interview, and you can “wow” them with your personal skills and attitude (see #2).

Here are five key phrases to use on a resume when establishing experience or age:

a. In charge of…

b. Established

c. Accomplished

d. Familiar with…

e. Succeeded

4. To take advantage of a restaurant chain’s birthday “deal”.

The next time you going out for dinner at a T.G.I Friday’s or East Side Mario’s, take note of the chains birthday celebrations/giveaways on their respective websites. In many cases if you make a big enough deal they will through some coupons or free swag at you without proof of birthday. The worst they are going to do is check your I.D. and say no, but many of the restaurants patrons don’t give two !@#% about it as it’s not coming out of their own pocket. Besides, it’s not like a major restaurant chain is going to go bankrupt if they give out an extra appetizer or two, just ask the employees at Bill Knapp’s.

(* Bill Knapp’s was famous for giving out discounts to customer’s on their birthday, they went bankrupt in 2002).

5. If you have an online dating profile.

Dating profiles are like resumes (see # 3), so “enhance” away, but let it be known that most dating sites are cracking down on the embellishments of it’s users so be discreet . This means no lying about your career or your relationship status. A simple recalculation of age may broaden user’s horizons, bringing people together that may have otherwise kept clicking to another profile. If you think your cheating the honor system take comfort in knowing that much of the information and statistics provided by these dating sites are false and misleading (2% of all U.S. marriages are a result of eharmony’s “matchmaking” etc.). Stretching the truth is a requirement for these sites after all.

Good Luck Gentlemen.