Huh? They Said What?

People say outrageous, stupid, and outrageously stupid things. When they do this in private, we call these people our friends and family. When they do it in public, they are (or soon will be) celebrities. In recent months, several people have made themselves look like dolts, dopes, and/or dunces in the public eye.

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

You’re mom probably taught you the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” She taught you this valuable lesson because she loved you and didn’t want you to get a firm kick in your posterior.

Sadly, it seems the same can’t be said for the parents of Taylor Momsen and Pat Robertson. While the rest of us mourned for Haiti, this SWAT team of rudeness ran their mouths.

When asked about joining in relief efforts, Gossip Girl‘s 16-year-old uber-brat Taylor Momsen told a magazine:

“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

Apparently the hundreds of other celebrities who participated in relief efforts have less demanding schedules. There’s no reason every celebrity needs to participate in every charity event that comes along, but Momsen could at least feign compassion.

On a similar (but far crazier) line, televangelist Pat Robertson shared some offensive thoughts on Haiti in the wake of their disaster. Robertson said,

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heal of the French. Ah, you know Napolean the third and whatever – and they got together and swore a pact to the devil – they said we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. True story. And so the devil said, ‘Okay, it’s a deal.’ And they kicked the French out, you know the Haitians revolted, and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by by one thing after another. Desperately poor.”

This statement creates more questions than it answers. 1. Who was in charge of France – Napoleon the third or the famed emperor Whatever? 2. How does Pat Robertson know this story when the rest of us have been left in the dark? 3. If the devil is against France…shouldn’t we like them better?

And then there’s Kanye West: famous for his music and mouthiness. Who could forget his VMA outburst? In his defense (something he rarely gets), his intention seemed to be to praise Beyonce, but in so doing he put Taylor Swift down. Kanye would benefit from saying less and thinking more.

Keep a Running Tally

Actor/notorious man-whore Jude Law claims that the media is eager to make him look bad. But why would they bother since he can do that himself? In a December interview, David Letterman asked Jude Law how many kids he had. Law confidently declared three. The problem? He has four. Three with his ex-wife, one with a girlfriend. Bet that made Letterman feel better about himself.

(Video available at The Huffington Post)

New Celebrity

She wasn’t famous at the time, but this Wheel of Fortune contestant is gaining fame fast. Youtube is forever…and that’s why you shouldn’t make stupid guesses on game shows.

Political Preposterousness

Politicians are constantly talking, so they more than anyone say stupid things. A lot of stupid things.

Case in point: Sarah Palin. Oh, stop cringing. She’s brought you countless laughs – you should thank her. Back in 2008 she did an interview with Katie Couric. When asked what newspapers she reads, she replied, “All of ‘em” and was criticized for not being able to name one. Well, Palin is back at her old antics. This January famed Jabba the Hutt impersonator Glenn Beck asked Palin who her favorite founding father was. Her reply? “All of ‘em.”

What sort of questions make Sarah Palin look stupid? All of ‘em.

Though he was once a beloved presidential candidate (and now a besieged president), Barack Obama has never been immune to stupid sentences. Just this January he announced, “The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.” But if other regions hadn’t previously plagued the Middle East, would it still be plaguing itself?