10 Useless Gadgets You Absolutely Must Have

When it comes to gadgets, the net is crawling with them. Some of them are generally useful while some just make you think WTF. A few of those WTF gadgets are so useless that they’d be awesomely cool to own. So, I complied a list of the top ten useless gadgets that we absolutely must have to get through another day on this planet. If you really do want buy any of these, just click on the links to go directly to the e-store.

The Pole Dancer Alarm Clock

. .  .Because you couldn’t just check out girls on youtube like everyone else, or because you have a secret fetish for plastic dolls (action figures in Man Speak.)  Either way, You’ll  really “Rise and shine” to this entertaining alarm clock. A pole dancer twirls around the pole to music and flashing lights. What a way to wake up . . .of course there is one thing better involving a Dancer and Waking up, but that costs a hell of a lot more than this does! features a back lit LCD display and snooze feature. Requires 3 AA batteries (not included), and a strong pimp hand so your girl doesn’t throw it out.  Collections Etc. $19.99

fun!

Classic Old Wall Phone

Crank up the old-time atmosphere! It may look like it’s over a century old but this fully functional phone plugs into any standard phone jack and is thoroughly modern in every way. The rotary dial numbers are actually convenient touch tone buttons. Ring volume, ring pulse and voice volume controls. Phone cord included. Some assembly required. 18 1/2″H x 9 1/2″W x 6 3/4″D.  Collections Etc. $29.99

Retro Phone Cell Phone Headset

Yeah, we know all about those bluetooth headsets for cell phones, but forget that stuff! We have here the latest development in cell phone technology and it’s a big hunk of beautiful plastic. An accessory for your phone that you can really grab onto. Something with heft and that good-old-American solid construction feel – like a 1972 Cadillac.

The Retro Phone Handset is a new production replica of the Western Electric 500-series model, which was the classic phone handset for several decades. It’s been slightly modified to work with the headset jack of most cell phones (or via a “hands free” adapter kit, sold elsewhere). Just plug-in and dial – or for added effect, put your cell phone in your pant’s pocket – then it looks like you’re talking on a phone connected to… well, who knows? Think Geek, $30

Half Yard of Beer

Nothing screams man like a 18 inches . . .of beer.  The staple of the traditional British pub, the half yard glass makes a great bar decoration. It comes with a matching wooden stand but don”t leave it on display all the time it”s fun to drink from, too! It holds about 24-oz. of beer. The stand has a plaque that reads “Man of the House”. Glass is dishwasher safe. 16 3/4″H.  Collections Etc$19.99

Or for the high rollers, get this legit limited edition Waterford Crystal 8 1/2″ glass stein, or any of their sweet steins for that matter, from our friends at Budweiser. Budshop.com $199.99

Leopard Print Snuggie Wearable Blanket

The Snuggie keeps you totally warm & gives you the freedom to use your hands. Snuggie™ is made with super soft, thick, luxurious fleece with roomy, over-sized sleeves. Includes a free booklight (as if anyone that actually knew how to read would use this thing), perfect for reading in . . .er . . . a dimly lit room while wearing a shirt blanket thing, I guess. One size fits most. Machine wash polyester fleece. Imported. 54″ x 71″. CollectionsEtc. $14.99

Rope Bracelets

It’s a bracelet, that is actually rope. Except this baby has at least 14′ of 550lb test paracord in case of emergencies. Awesome. Setting you back just $20, this magical rope is great for those impromptu rock climbs or jump roping, or (according to ThinkGeek) saving that sexy damsel in distress while your out boating.     ThinkGeek, $19.99

Ice Shot Glasses

To help keep those shots cool, invest in these awesome ice molds, in the form of shot glasses. Making four at a time, these 2oz shot glasses are perfect for parties, if they break, hell, toss ‘em in the sink and make some more!

WARNING: ThinkGeek would like to remind everyone to please not drink and perform Calculus. Remember, friends don’t let friends derive drunk. Bad joke, I know.  ThinkGeek, $7.99

Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt

This awesome interactive tee is sure too impress (as long as you can actually play guitar). This tee comes with a mini amp to help you bust out those face melting solos to those hot chicks at the bar. Able to play all the major chords, gather your mates and start your own tee band! ThinkGeek, $29.99

Harry

Meet Harry. Harry is a bunch of metal that bends around you gadgets to hold them.And since guys are known for their ability to lose things (such as the tv remote and your girlfriends bag she asked you to hold while she tried on clothes), Harry is a good investment. ThinkGeek, $24.99

USB Doomsday Device

This baby is the mother of all gadgets. In order to arm the Device, you first need to activate switch one. Then, you need to activate switch two. Then (and stay with us here, because this is where it gets a little crazy), you need to activate switch three. Once all three switches are turned on (in order) the Main light will glow red. This means the Device is armed and very dangerous. And yes, it gets better. Press the big red button and the world explodes it makes a honking noise. Oh, and its a 4 port USB hub. WIN. ThinkGeek, $49.99