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17 Truly Tasteless Tiger Woods Jokes

December 4, 2009     Posted in Entertainment, Featured Left, Sports, WTF

It was only a matter of time.  As the Tiger Woods scandal continues to unfold, the internet continues doing what it does best.. kicking a man when he’s down.  We’re sure in the coming weeks there will be hundreds more, but for now these 17 Truly Tasteless Tiger Woods Jokes will have do.

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Q.  What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?

A.  They’re both in danger of being clubbed by Norwegians!

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Q. What do Tiger and Elin have in common?

A. They both try to club his balls are hard as possible.

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Q.  What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger?

A.  Looks like it was a bitching wedge.

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Q.  Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released?

A.  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.”

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Q.  Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning?

A.  Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.

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Q.  What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?

A.  They went clubbing.

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Q.  What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

A.  Tiger can drive a ball 350 yards.

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Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between the iron or the wood.

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Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree.

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Based on Tiger’s interests, his new product endorsements will be for Hostess.

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This morning, his agent announced that the new nickname for Tiger will either be Cheetah or Lion.

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His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.

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Tiger just lost his endorsement with Gillette because now they can’t use his ad in which he says, “This was my closest shave yet.”

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Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She’s teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.

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Did you hear about Tiger’s last outing? He drove into a tree, then ended up with a bad lie.

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Tiger Woods has a lot of nice cars, but now he has a hole in one.

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Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.

Comments

29 Responses to “17 Truly Tasteless Tiger Woods Jokes”
  1. Masters Golf Tickets says:

    That picture is just wrong. I can't wait til this thing blows over and Tiger can get back to golfing again. Masters Golf Tickets

  2. brian says:

    whats the differnce between Tiger and a plumber…

    Both lay alot of pipe, but Tiger gets paid alot more.

  3. Bill says:

    In a conversation over the weekend it occurred to me that Tiger Woods was simply showing it unending dedication to the game of Golf…

    You see, he was always playing 18 holes… on and off the course!

  4. Bill says:

    In a conversation over the weekend it occurred to me that Tiger Woods was simply showing his unending dedication to the game of Golf…

    You see, he was always playing 18 holes… on and off the course!

  5. Paul says:

    Just got scammed outta $25! Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My favorite 18 holes”. Turns out it’s about golf. Pass this on so others don’t get scammed …

  6. David says:

    Come on guys some of your jokes were terrible but not the santa one… My joke: The other day I went into dick smith and asked if they had GTA- grand theft auto and the guy at the desk said "sorry i dont know what that game is, can you explain it to me?" So I said oh you go around hooking up with girls, smashing car windscreens, killing people, all that stuff. Anyway he says i'll go out back and see what we have. A few moments later he comes back with PGA tour 10 and says is this it?

  7. Trish says:

    Thanks for the pix of Tiger. I wondered what a "horndog" looked like, and now I know: kinda whupped and crusty on the outside, and probably a quivering mess of slop on the inside.