17 Truly Tasteless Tiger Woods Jokes
December 4, 2009 Posted in Entertainment, Featured Left, Sports, WTF
It was only a matter of time. As the Tiger Woods scandal continues to unfold, the internet continues doing what it does best.. kicking a man when he’s down. We’re sure in the coming weeks there will be hundreds more, but for now these 17 Truly Tasteless Tiger Woods Jokes will have do.
Q. What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?
A. They’re both in danger of being clubbed by Norwegians!
Q. What do Tiger and Elin have in common?
A. They both try to club his balls are hard as possible.
Q. What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger?
A. Looks like it was a bitching wedge.
Q. Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released?
A. “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.”
Q. Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning?
A. Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
Q. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
A. They went clubbing.
Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
A. Tiger can drive a ball 350 yards.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between the iron or the wood.
Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree.
Based on Tiger’s interests, his new product endorsements will be for Hostess.
This morning, his agent announced that the new nickname for Tiger will either be Cheetah or Lion.
His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.
Tiger just lost his endorsement with Gillette because now they can’t use his ad in which he says, “This was my closest shave yet.”
Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She’s teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
Did you hear about Tiger’s last outing? He drove into a tree, then ended up with a bad lie.
Tiger Woods has a lot of nice cars, but now he has a hole in one.
Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.
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apparently tiger woods has a few more tricks that aren’t in his golf bag.
When I saw the picture of Tiger and his wife today…her holding a golf club and him with a black eye, stitches, a few less teeth and a golf ball in his ear, I almost fell off my chair laughing so hard. And then on my way to the convenience store for a coffee I started laughing again so hard I almost hit a fire hydrant but my reflexes saved me…I ran over and killed my neighbors cat instead!
I never liked Tiger…arogant and thinks his poop doesn't stink. He is the perfect example of someone who has so much and is so undeserving. I almost bet that his home is a battlefield because of his ego too. I know that no one is perfect….but I believe that most people think that he is a perfect A**hole. O wait…lets check with one of his girls and see if they can confirm that!
Tiger woods has admitted to his wife that he has played around with 7 women. His wife thinks there are at least 11 more he has had sex with because she knows Tiger likes to play 18 holes.
When Tiger woods wife was hitting him with the golf club she asked how many women he had slept with.
Witnesses said they heard him scream "FOUR".
Tiger Woods wife went mad when she heard the update on the news that Tiger had sex with 7 women. She picked up a nine iron and asked him if it was true. Tiger said "No it was only 6 I couldn't play the last hole because the red flag was up"
Tiger’s first mistake was getting married.
http://livingwithballs.com/tiger-woods-and-other-athletes-can-learn-from-derek-jeter/
Why did Tiger's wife beat him with his 9 iron?
Someone else was using his wood ;)
Whe he heard that a blonde with big breasts beat Tiger woods, Colin Montgomery is upping his game
What course gives Tiger the most challenge? Intercourse…
Tiger joke:
Tiger's been playing well lately–he's been leaving his balls hole high.
I hate it when the press refer to Tiger Woods' six mistresses as his "18 holes."
~
Should have used a driver.
I've heard he's being forced to change his nickname from "Tiger" to "Cheetah"
Recently, I found an age-gap site called __Agegapmingle.com__ It's a nice place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not problem there. You may check out or tell your friends.
tiger is awesome!! if i was rich and famous, id be hitting all the bitches from Augusta to St Andrews to.
Why would you marry?
LOL at all the moral fags who have never had sex and are acting outraged. like no one has ever cheated ever.
Q. What the differece between Tiger and Santa Claus?
A. Santa stopped at three hoes.
i have a better one>> do you no what the diff is between tiger woods and santa??? sants stops at 3 ho,s
i didnot see the same one above me when i posted this??? weird
What's the difference between Tiger & Santa? SEE ABOVE ;)
Rich don't make you smart. Any other "black man" would have been able to juggle a dozen bitches. I say…Ain't enough Brotha in da Brotha. Knowm sayn?