5 Signs Your Girlfriend Is A Psycho
September 2, 2009 by igorderysh
It’s often difficult to gauge how crazy your girlfriend is, especially in the beginning of a relationship. The truth is, all chicks are nuts but here are five ways to know if she’s average crazy – or if you should sleep with one eye open and hide all the sharp objects in the house.
5. She Has More Than 3 Cats.
Face it. You’re dating the crazy cat lady. You know why all crazy cat ladies wind up living alone by the end of their lives? All of their ex-boyfriends are buried in the backyard.
4. She Keeps Tabs on You.
If your girlfriend is too clingy and texts and calls you non-stop, stalks you on Facebook, and e-mails you creepy love messages, it’s time to move to Montana. This is the girl that burns an effigy on your lawn if she finds out you lied to her about what you had for breakfast.
3. She Asks If You Will Ever Leave Her?
Any girl who does this before you’re married, or even after, is silently calculating the jail time she will have to do after running you down with a Jetta, if you leave her for someone else.
2. She is Way Too Jealous.
If she’s ready to throw down with any woman you talk to, even the girl behind the counter at Starbucks, start working on that restraining order now.
1. She Recites Bible Quotes.
If she quotes John 3:16 when you ask her about her day, prepare for a lifetime of watching Mel Gibson films, protesting outside of free clinics, and attending Sarah Palin fundraisers.
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Awesome !! ROFL
Anyone who supports Sarah Palin is under educated and wouldn’t get a first date let alone an exclusive status.
Yeah my last girl definetely had three of the five and I shouldve got out a lot sooner than six months!
My girl is one cat away from getting axed…
Is Igor’s blow-up doll/girlfriend really as bad as this?
Mine has 4 out of the 5. Oy.
Ha ha! this is awesome. However, girls who do #’s 2, 3, or 4 aren’t “crazy” per say, they are just EXTREMELY insecure. So helpful tip, don’t date insecure girls and you probably wont get stuck with a loon. Signs of insecurity; Doesn’t take compliments well, puts herself down, puts OTHER girls down (yes, I realize I just described like 95% of the entire female population, sorry).
What’s even worse is that I’ve dated MEN like this.
This is stupid and horribly generalised…
I hope people only see this as a bad joke.
@Casey – let me guess – you’re in the 5%, right?
Actually, yes I am.
I’ve had many friends in the past who fit all these descriptions. That’s why I don’t have many female friends. I can’t stand these things any more than you guys can.
Its not only other women, I found out to late my wife was jealous over a Great Dane and now a 160 pound Great Dane named Buffy is missing. I do sleep with 1 eye open…
Eff this. I have four out of five of these && That is #1. My boyfriend effing loves me.
@ casey-wanna fuck?
Iloveyou
Quoting Bible? I thought in States everybody does does-or it is shown so in movies .I mean this is the bestseller of all time ,everybody in (Western) world knows or should know it.To me qouting anything that is not a dialogue from a sitcom or fashion magazine is a good sign ,people who read books are simply more interesting .
Interesting that politics had to enter into it. hmmmm…
Sarah Palin…or Janeane Garofalo?
Let’s face it…any guy who has trouble with that decision isn’t interested in women in the first place and is probably too out of shape to inflate the girlfriend he does have. But at least he has the comfort of knowing his girlfriend is a better actress than Garofalo.
This is stupid generalised…