Truely Tasteless Michael Jackson Jokes: Old School Edition
June 29, 2009 Posted in Entertainment
We know, we know – Michael Jackson has been dead for less than a week, and reducing his life down to a smattering of kid-toucher jokes does not do the man or his musical contributions justice, in anyway shape or form. But since when were jokes supposed to do someone justice? Never. And because this is the last time you’re every going to get to tell these jokes, we thought we’d put together some of our favorite Michael Jackson jokes for your cold-hearted pleasure. Sure, they’re tasteless and wrong – but that’s what makes it funny! Jeesh…
1.
Q: Who did Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?
A: Two 5 year olds.
2.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.
3.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
4.
Q: Did you hear that MJ died from food poisoning?
A: He ate 12 year old nuts!!
5.
Q: What did Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
A: After a night of visiting little children, their sacks are empty.
6.
Q: Why were Michael Jackson’s pants so tight?
A: Because they weren’t his…
7.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson hang ‘Blanket’ out the balcony of his hotel?
A. He was trying to shake the cum off.
8.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to hell?
A: Because he was bad.
9.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys’ pants were half-off !!
10.
Q: Why were Michael Jackson’s pants so small?
A: Because they aren’t his!
11.
Q: What did Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
A: Foreplay.
12.
Q: What did Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
A: Blowing his nose.
13.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Little Boy Blue
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson
14.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
A: He was up to a pack a day.
15.
Q: What’s the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy’s underpants?
A: Michael Jackson’s makeup.
16.
Q: What was Michael Jackson’s Alma Matter?
A: Bring-em Young.
17.
Q: Why did Michael like children so much?
A: He knew how they felt.
18.
Q: What was Michael Jackson’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little Boy Blew.
19.
Q: How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a mail-order catalogue.
20.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A: It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.
21.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house!!
22.
Q: What do michael jackson and caviar have in common?
A: They both come on little white crackers.
23.
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong
A: Neil Armstrong walked on the moon… and Michael Jackson raped kids.
Have a favorite joke that we didn’t include? Leave it in the comments and we’ll throw the best ones in!
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O man some are these have to be to soon, for mj check out
http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=1748
It is SOOOOOOOOOO not too soon. Last time I checked, there were no pedophile saints. Good music, sure. 50% of it blew though, and he scarred more children than chickenpox.
What about these, courtesy of the baaaad people over http://michael-jackson-dead-jokes.blogspot.com/
"
Madonna sent the jackson family her condolences as soon as she heard the news.
She then asked them how much they wanted for the kids! "
Here's another:
"In an astonishing medical mystery, Michael Jackson's corpse remained limp and soft until just minutes ago, when an orderly was bringing it down to the morgue, and passed through the children's ward. Michael Jackson instantly went into rigor mortis. "
When Farrah Fawcett passed away, she went to heaven and God promised that He would grant her one wish. Farrah thought long and hard before asking God to save the children……5 minutes later Michael Jackson flatlined.
Mcdonalds decided to name a burger in honor of Michael Jackson called the Mcjackson. Its 50 year old meat in between 10 year old buns
being that he is 99% plastice i heard they were gonna melt micheal down into a LEGO . so the kids could play with him , for a change
We lost two legends last week. One was one every young man wanted to sleep with. The other wanted to sleep with every young boy!
Remember…when you hear that rumble in the sky today, its not thunder. Its Elvis kicking the shit out of Michael for marrying his daughter!
the person who posted these jokes is fucking sick your are direspectful,what kind of person makes joke of a person who died i read these jokes and they pissed me off you should take them off of here all of the people who posted josonhere are fucking heartless and direspectful you all should be ashamed of yourselves
@Greg – I am actually offended by people who give praise to child diddlers. Talk about disrespectful.
Did you hear Michael Jackson died?
What no way! how?
He choked on a 5 year old weiner.
(doesn't apply anymore really)
micheal drown
they found him in the bathtub, blowing Bubbles.
…and…
the funeral home is having trouble releasing the body to the family.
recyclables don't go out till tuesday
Q: how do you know when it's bed time at Neverland Ranch?
A: when the big hand touches the little hand
What are Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and David Carradine expecting for Christmans??
Patrick Swazye
Damn, Mike Hunt. That was brutal! funny, but fukn brutal.
Doctors are still trying to establish MJ's cause of death. So far they have ruled out sunshine, moonlight and good times and are blaming it on the boogie.
Even MJ's final resting place caused controversy – whether he could be buried or cremated is complicated by strict Californian laws that prohibit the dumping, burying or burning of that much plastic.
What's MJ's favorite place to stay in Pennsylvania?
Dubois
(It's pronounced "do – boys")
It was so hot in neverland, a cub scout troop dropped by MJ’s grave for a cold one.
Have you heard why MJ really died?
Jon & Kate Plus 8 called and asked him to babysit
What was MJ's final request for the ambulance driver?
Take me to Children's Hospital.