The 4 Worst Hangover Remedies

When you wake up from a night of drinking with a raging hangover, the only thing you can think about for the rest of the day is how to kick that pounding headache and nasty nausea as soon as humanly possible. Because of this, anything that seems like it might help you get even close to normal sounds like a good idea. That said, here are the four hangover remedies you should avoid more than that last shot of tequila.

4. Drinking Pickle Juice

Packed-full of salt, this popular Polish remedy replenishes your system with much-needed electrolytes, helping to stop that throbbing headache. However, while nibbling a crisp, cold dill might not seem like such a bad thing to do while suffering from a hangover, just thinking about chugging a glass of green pickle juice might make you want to puke more than the alcohol poisoning. Then again, you could just eat one of these…

3. Body Burial

According to some fairly untrustworthy sources, the Irish have an old traditional hangover cure that involves burying yourself up to your neck in river sand. Now, we’ve never tried this one ourselves, but we’re guessing it only works because of how much sweat pours out of your body while digging the giant hole you have to climb into. By the time you’re done with the vomit-inducing manual labor, anything will seem like a relief.

2. Tripe Soup

Popular around the world, in countries like Romania and Mexico, which have no problem eating horribly disgusting sh!t, tripe soup takes the honor as top hangover remedy. Made from the lining of a cow’s stomach and spiced with chile, garlic and other attention-grabbing seasonings, tripe soup actually does little for your hangover – other than causing so much spicy pain in your mouth that you for forget about your throbbing forehead. So if you’re hungover and don’t have any tripe laying around, just crack yourself in the knee with a hammer – it’ll be just as good.

1. Not Drinking

The only thing worse than feeling like you’re going to hurl if you do much more than blink is to be told that your best bet would have been to not drink so much in the first place (like you didn’t already f**king think of that). So on top of your nausea, headache and overall sense of bodily doom, now you have to deal with being angry, too. Might as well just have someone kick you in the balls and call it a day.

NOTE: To actually fix your hangover, just mix up a bloody Mary, pop a couple Excedrin, hit a bowl, down some corned beef hash and eggs and you’ll be fine.