Top 10 Things From Your 20′s That You’ll Regret When You’re 40
Don’t get me wrong – being young and having fun is as important as anything in life. But assuming you live past the age of 28, there are a few things that you just can’t get away with, without reaping some serious consequences. Here are the top 10 things you do when you’re young that, when looking back, make you wonder how you could have been such a complete and total dumbass. (Image used courtesy of The Lizard Man)
10. Body Piercing Plugs
Believe me, I’ve been there. The piercing you either got at the mall or did in your friend Tim’s basement with a safety pin just wasn’t cool enough, so you switched to 16-gauge hoops, then to 14, and before you knew it, you’ve shoved the biggest g*ddamn thing that doesn’t look like it will give you herpes through your ear lobe like you’re from f**king Ethiopia. But beware: once you’ve finally decided to take out the massive disks in your ears, your lobes will be so stretched, you’ll have to have them sew-up to keep from looking like you have a shriveled butt hole on each ear.
(Image used courtesy of Stephen)
9. Risque Internet Pics
For some reason, people these days just can’t help posting pictures of themselves and their friends doing stupid, drunken, naked things online. But despite the fact that everybody’s doing it, don’t be fooled: Sometime, sooner or later, those pictures are going to come back to haunt you. And when they do, it will start a sh!tstorm you can’t even imagine. And pretty soon that trip to Vegas when you were 23 will turn into the reason you are fired from your job, divorced from your wife and/or estranged from your children. Seriously.
8. Tattoos
These days, having a tattoo is practically like having a belly button – everybody’s got one. The only difference is, having a belly button isn’t going to make you want to punch yourself in the face for stupidity as soon as you’re out of your “Jack Daniels phase.” Of course plenty of tattoos won’t be constantly regrettable reminders that you were once a retard. That is, unless you got any on your face, neck, fingers or any other place where your boss is then forced to know how much you used to like naked Star Wars characters. Oh and ladies, just so you know, one day that lower back tattoo you all seem to have is going to be known as the “old lady tattoo.” Not so sexy, is it?
7. Choosing Your Best Friend’s Girlfriend Over Your Best Friend
She was hot. She was so smokingly hot, your F’ing crotch could’ve spontaneously combusted at any moment. And the fact that she was untouchable, lest you ruin the entire friendship you and your best buddy had built up since you were six, made her all the more desirable. But one day, they broke up. And all of a sudden, you were spending your days holding hands and helping her pick out duvet covers. You and “that asshole” Mr. Ex stopped talking. Time goes by. Then some afternoon you come home to find her blowing a guy from the laundromat. And the sad thing is, in the end, you are the douchebag, and that’s all there is to it.
6. Getting Married Too Young
This rotten son-of-a-bitch trap can swallow even the most farsighted individuals. And I get it: You meet the woman of your dreams. You spend all your time with her; she gets all your jokes. And pretty soon, she’s on the pill and you’re living under the same roof, picking out paint for the dining room, secretly wondering what the hell happened to your manhood. Before you know it, you’re d*ck deep in webcam girl bills and pleated khakis. Next up, divorce, which charmingly includes going into debt to pay for the lawyers. But the sick twist is, she never wanted any of that bullsh!t either.
5. Not Traveling (Enough)
It’s hard to realize when you’re 21, but the time for whisking off to foreign lands with nothing to worry about besides which awesome thing to see next quickly evaporates. (Just ask any older person, they’ll tell you all about it.) Before you know it, you’re still in the same place you were seven years before, but with too many responsibilities to get away with jetting off to India for six months, just for the hell of it. So the best bet is to get as much traveling in while you’re single, childless and can still afford to not be working on building up your 401K (as if those mattered much these days, anyway). So what are you waiting for?
4. Not Finishing School
One thing you quickly learn in college is that not having any money to spend sucks a hot cup of assholes. By your junior year, all you want to do is sit still for two f**king seconds and relax, instead of zipping around like a PCP addict. So you drop out, get an OK job, do OK stuff and have OK things. Cool, right? Maybe. But if you want to really do something interesting with your life, you’re going to have to do a hell of a lot better than that.
Not only should you finish school, but you should become passionate about something, study abroad and then go to grad school. Become an expert. You know, or you could knock up some chick, get a predatory loan and hope to God you never get fired for the rest of your life.
(NOTE: I know, this is not always the case. Some of the most successful people in the world dropped out of school. Fine – whenever you want to go invent something that changes the world, be my guest.)
3. Smoking
If you didn’t know smoking kills you by now, then you probably deserve whatever fate becomes you. Whatever. The thing the never-smokers don’t understand is, smoking is good for the soul, damnit! (Unfortunately, you only think that because you’re addicted to nicotine.) But unless you’re some type of endlessly-going genetic anomaly, THIS SH!T WILL KILL YOU. Seriously, so unless you want your kids to think you’re a total asswipe, quit right now. If you don’t want to have kids, fine. But that’s not going to make the chemo any less sucky, that’s all I’m sayin’…
2. Bad Credit
This one applies to everyone, since we Americans all seem to be addicted to f**king ourselves over in the long-run by getting greedy and buying a bunch of stupid crap every 10 seconds when we can’t afford it. Yep, I’ve been there, too. And for now, while your biggest commitment in life is playing Left4Dead, it might seem OK. But when you have a family to support and sending your kids to college is suddenly slopped on your plate, you’re going to be eating a giant sh!t sandwich. That is, unless you call saving for the future and holding-off on that new 50-inch plasma something other than a sh!t sandwich. Not that I have to tell you that anymore, since you don’t have a job. Hmmmm, I wonder how that happened…
1. Not Spending More Time With Your Parents
Mom and Dad might not be hip to your world or your life or even the Internet, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t the two most important people you have. And believe it or not, they can be gone before you know it. (Other times they stick around so long, you could kill them yourself, but that’s another article.)
So whether you live miles away or blocks, make sure to spend time with them whenever you can. Call them, send them a card, do anything that lets them know that you’re not a complete f**k-up. They will thank you for it, whether you know so now or not. It’s not to say that, if you are still living on your parent’s couch, you’re going to be the most satisfied person on the planet. But if you only see the folks once a year, you’re going to have some therapy bills to pay for once they pass, guaranteed.
Honorable Mentions: not banging a MILF, heavy drug use, not learning a foreign language, beastiality
Have a regret to add to the list? Just tell us in the comments!
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I was going to say something, but Earther beat me to it. I thought he was a teacher though.
I have to wonder why bestiality is an honorable mention on here though.
In either context it’s disturbing.
If the author is saying you’ll regret doing it when you’re 40, they must think bestiality is commonplace.
On the other hand, the author is recommending you do it in your 20s so you won’t regret missing out on some animal lovin’ when you’re 40.
Unless of course I’m sheltered and there’s some new thing that bestiality means.
I'm still in my twenties and I've never really gone nuts and done any partying. I don't even have my ears pierced OR any tattoos. I have to agree, there are other things to do that keep me entertained and far out of trouble. I am blessed with a wonderful mom and stepfather, as well as a college education. Having a weak stomach also helped to keep me away from cigarettes and alcohol. Some people are probably going to comment on what a loser I am, but I feel great about knowing that there is nothing behind me to worry about and I've still lived a great life.
Where do you guys live?? Under a Rock..
#
Lasse says:
Thu, 16th Apr 2009 2:14 am
"Earther; The meaning of tattoos. I think the most common meaning of a tattoo is the one people make up to have a excuse to get one.
Example, you took guitar lessons when you were 12, then the tattoo might contain some notes etc. Then you can brag to your friends how music saved your life or how you been inspired trough tough times and you got this tattoo as a tribute.
Sound’s much better than the truth, “everybody else got one, they are cool so i want one as well”
That may be true for SOME very stupid impressionable and or drunk idiots who will regret their decisions. However, I'm now 30 and pretty heavily tattooed. NONE of my friends except a few growing up ever had a tattooed. You are a very very sheltered individual. Many of my friends have them now and most of theirs have significant meaning. Every one of mine holds very deep meaning. Even the horrible one on the back of my leg! My friend is learning and he practiced on me. It is one of his first tattoos and that is something special. Think before you speak.
Phil, you are a sad anger filled ass. ANYONE can afford college. Community college, the first 2+ years is damned near free. You heard me. Eat out a few less times a week, drink a few less beers, work a few more hours at work, and you can EASILY afford the cheap ass credit hours. Then , get a job with your two year degree, and finish your classes at night for your 4 year degree when the credit hours are expensive. I haven't even mentioned the student loans you could get as well. Get off the internet bitching, get motivated, and get educated. Or keep making excuses. Once you have a college degree and a good job, then the vacations are nothing to worry about. Or sit on your ass and feel sorry for yourself, because we don't.
Your list is pretty damn true for the mainstream folk and you have the right to put out the warning. Good for you! Funny good times. The problem is if someone is going to do such things they will regardless of a warning. I was one of those kids that saw scare films in school about drugs and all I got from them was, "Holy crap! Where can I get my hands on some of that!". People really just do what they are inclined to do. I was told not to have sex until I was married yet the day I found I could pop one off I was hell bent to get screwed. Bless my heart I did too! Oh and the other thing wrong with your list is that you still come off as a young inexperienced person doing your best to sound like an authority. Lighten up and get fucked.
This list sucks.
Sorry, the travel thing is so fascist American "oh look at the poor people and how they do things" or the biggest reason for tourism? Shopping!! yea.
I was proud of my tattoo at 20, am at 45, will be at 70
Bad Credit, Why good cvredit? I can run up my bills, my name becomes more valuable to identity thieves and I can buy that new electronic do-dad everybody else has. Banking industry propaganda. "Spening money like an asshole" would be a better name
Finishing School? Why so I can be like my friend in the banking business. Life and the market place are it's own school, enroll now, and use spell check.
Parents and not smoking I agree with. That's it.
listen to him, people…FINISH SCHOOL.Not kidding, if you don't finish school, you will be working the closing shift at the grocery store deli, mopping the greasy floor at age 45 and wishing you'd FINISHED SCHOOL.
do it. Work hard now, or work even harder when you are OLD
Remeber those dumb PET ROCKS? I never had one becuase i though it as stupid and rediculous
ask natalie holloway how much she enjoyed traveling when she was young….dont leave the US, especially this day in age
it's a little weird that you titled the list this way. it should have been "top 10 things MEN did in their 20s that they will regret when they're 40." numbers seven and six apply completely and exclusively to men, though there is no mention of this anywhere else. i realize that for a male author, "boy" is the default gender. but just because this website is overrun with pictures of scantily clad plastic-women with balloon breasts doesn't mean you're not going to get any female readers. like from stumbleupon.
I absolutely agree with the tattoos and smoking and drug use. BAD IDEAS. I am gonna laugh my ass off at all the tattooed old farts in their 50's, 60's with sagging skin who thought it was cool in their 20's and 30's to get all tatted up….
So right on. People with tatoos forget that it stretches and fades over the years. Everywhere I look people have tatoos. I fell like I am the only weirdo out there without them.
Wasting so much time rowing.
this list sucks. if you really like your body modification than you won't regret it, duh!
i smoke cause it gives me knowledge
I'm waiting for people to start bitching over the use of 'childless' instead of 'childfree.'
I agree with everything on this list except maybe the traveling bit and spending more time with your parents.
Op is a fag.
#13 – Don't listen to dice, organic boy and Natalie.
You're a fucking moron.
Do you have any idea what you're even talking about?
Go learn about a topic before you pour bullshit into it.
Way to go, douchebag.
I am 22, and I have to agree with a comment I read above. Not all of us have Mommy and Daddy to pay our way through college and those insanely cool backpacking trips through Europe! And yes, while we could take out loans to pay for college, where does that put us as far as debt goes? Honestly, college is very overrated right now. Yes, a degree can be a wonderful thing to have if you manage to pursue a career in your major and make enough money to pay off college debt, but there are also a lot of decently-paying great jobs that require every-day Americans' work as well. A lot of your top ten were great, but not all of us get to do everything we want, unfortunately. I'd die to go to Europe, but I am responsible for myself, I buy my own food, clothing, pay my own rent, car insurance, gas, cell phone bills, etc. People want to be children for way too long, and aren't responsible. Everyone wonders why our economy is crap, and they just keep handing out loans and cash to their kids for that college education or 2009 BMW. Anyway. Some of your points make sense, but we aren't all blessed with the gift of large sums of cash.