5 Comic Books That Should Never Be Made Into Movies

Everyone goes ga-ga when they make the big screen version of  such comic books as Iron Man or Watchmen. But it seems  that pretty soon they are going to run out of A-list comic book characters to do movie adaptations. In anticipation of that clustersuck, here are my pick of comic books that should never be made into Hollywood movies: 

1. Aqualad

On Entourage Vinny Chase did a movie version of Aquaman directed by James Cameron. Obviously that was a piss-take on comic hero Hollywood blockbusters. Even more ridiculous would be a summer blockbuster based on Aqualad. There was something “funny” going on with Aquaman having a teen sidekick, and when I was a kid, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

Potential Aquald Star: The Jonas Brother that plays the drums.

2. Hawkman

Think of Batman, but with hawks. His romantic interest is Hawkgirl, who also dresses like a hawk. Hawkman carries an ancient mace as a weapon. Sounds like a furry party gone bad. Hey bad guys, look out for Hawkman!

Potential Hawkman Star: Josh Hartnett

3. Green Lantern

What make this guy a superhero is a power-ring he wears that creates a BIG lantern. So his superpower comes from a fashion accessory. One problem, his nemesis is the color yellow. Yellow kills this guy. Unfortunately we live on a planet with a yellow sun. Surely that’s not a logistical oversight.

Potential Green Lantern Star: Mickey Rourke

4. Captain Boomerang

Look out! This superhero can use a boomerang really well. I mean reeeeeeally well! Yes, a superhero whose main weapon is a curved stick! But I’m sure Hollywood could make him seem really complex

Potential Captain Boomerang Star: Paul Rudd

5. Wonder Man

Ok, Wonder Man is just like Wonder Woman, but he’s a dude. A Marvel rip-off of DC comics. And really, really lame…

Potential Wonder Man Star: Joaquin Phoenix