5 F**ked Up Things About Scotland

By Harmonleon

Scotland is a country that is part  of the United Kingdom. Occupying the northern third of the island of Great Britain, it shares a border with England to the south and is bounded by the North Sea to the east. Scotland is also kinda of f**ked up. I I just got back from spending a week there and here are 5 F**ked Up Things I encountered.

1. MURDER CAPITAL OF EUROPE

Yes, Glasgow is the home to the murder capital of Europe. Though murders are rarely due to gunshots, most deadly attacks are fueled by booze and drugs with stabbings as the main cause of fatal injuries. Let me put it this way, when guns aren’t an option, hooligans get very creative about ways to kill another person.

2. GLASWEGIAN KISS

If someone offers you a “Glaswegian kiss,” don’t accept. It’s a head butt to the nose where one violently smashes their forehead into the face of another. Very effective and particularly used by football hooligans.

3. HAGGIS

Any list of fucked up things about Scotland has to include haggis. Why? It’s f*cked up. Haggis is stuffed lamb’s intestines. And it’s Scottish. Non-ironic kilt-wearing would be next on such an obligatory list.

4. GLASGOW’S PRESTWICK AIRPORT

I’ve never encountered a scarier airport than this before. I thought I was going to be stabbed in the neck in the airport toilet. The lads were already at the bar downing pints at 6am. Almost everyone had a head wound. This seemed like the airport where thugs fly to hurt people in other countries. With their thick accents I wasn’t sure if fellow passengers wanted to be friendly or punch me in the face.

5. Neds

Neds are white aggressive young adult, of working class background, who wear branded sports clothes and often fights and engage in petty criminality. They usually have 14-year old pregnant girlfriends. Often times they will want to steal your shoes (“Give me your trainers!”)

Harmon Leon is the author of the American Dream