Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: 3D Porn!

By Chuck

Just when we were starting to wrap our heads around the wonders that high-definition, 1080p Blu-Ray porn had in store for us, along comes the next and logical advancement in the world of hyper-realistic erotica: 3D porn!

Who do we have to thank for this groundbreaking new technology? Some guy from Hong Kong named Stephen Shiu Jnr. He’s pouring 30 million Hong Kong dollars (about $4 million US) into 3D Zen and Sex, which is said the first 3D porno ever. Shiu hopes that the prospect seeing lots of 3D sex and boobs will lure porn enthusiasts — normally a reclusive bunch — to theaters in droves. Of course, we’d obviously rather watch porn all alone in our dark apartment, but the prospect of an entire theater going “Duck! He’s blowing his load right at us!” in unison is way too exciting to pass up.

Unfortunately, the movie isn’t as hardcore as we’d all hope. Yeah, there’s sex, but only for about 25-30 percent of the film. Whatever, it’s a start. Get this technology in the hands of the entrepreneurs over in the San Fernando Valley (and figure out a way for us to watch at home, seriously) and we’ll have The World’s Biggest 3D Bukkake Fest on shelves in a week, tops.