Weekly DVD Drop: RocknRolla

Best of the Week: RocknRolla

It was a long, dark, cold winter for Guy Ritchie. The woods were thick, the trees were tall, the sun never shone. It wasn’t always this way. He came out swinging with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, masterfully followed up with Snatch, and then… the Madonna years. They were fruitless, and they were many. She sucked all the creative marrow from his bones, made him wear Crocs, made him direct pathetic crap basically about her, starring her, and took from us one of the most promising young filmmakers we’d seen in a generation.

Fortunately for lovers of fun movies everywhere, the Madonna years are over, and Guy Ritchie is back! In both style and substance, RocknRolla is a true return to form for Guy. A cast of about 50 familiar and not so familiar faces navigate their way through the surprisingly tight-knit London underworld. Along the way they have clever banter, listen to good music, have some sex, dance and get shot. The movie looks incredible, it’s fun to watch, and Madonna is nowhere in sight.

Worst of the Week: The Rocker

Way, way, way, way, waaaaay too soon. Rainn Wilson has his moments on The Office — to be fair, some really good moments — but it doesn’t take a genius to realize that the man is nowhere close to ready to carry an entire movie on his own. Unfortunately, the people running Hollywood didn’t have this kind of foresight.

But even if this movie had someone a bit more ready for prime-time steering the ship, it would still suck. To begin with, we’re done with ’80s rock. DONE. It isn’t funny anymore. And for that matter, we’re just done with ‘rock’ altogether. Unless you’re a twelve-year-old Jonas Brothers fanatic whose favorite movie of all time is High School Musical 3, never ever see this movie. You’re welcome.

Leftovers:

Vicky Christina Barcelona
Two words: Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson MAKING OUT. It’s only for a few seconds, but whatever. They french!

Pride and Glory
We aren’t cops, so sorry in advance if we’re wrong about this movie. There is the off chance that this is the most accurately crafted cop drama in history. It is possible that almost every cop in the NYPD is a corrupt, drug dealing, thieving and robbing murderer. That having been said, no f*cking way.

Lakeview Terrace
Hey, Earth to this movie. Obama is president, racism doesn’t exist anymore, we don’t care if you were made before a week ago, you still seem insanely dated. Remember when disco was cool? Remember Vietnam? Remember America Online and dial-up internet? Yeah, you old bigot, you probably do. Get with the times grandpa, and stop with the division.