Jesus F**king Christ! This Natalie Dylan selling her virginity thing is getting way, way, way out of hand. Since first announcing last September that she would be auctioning off her virginity at Nevada’s Bunny Ranch, over 10,000 men have put in bids for a chance to pop her golden cherry. No surprise there. But now the price has skyrocketed to more than $3.7 million! Let me repeat that: $3.7 million dollars to have sex with a virgin, once. 

OK, dudes. What. The. F**K?!! There are so many things disgusting and wrong about this situation, it’s not even funny. And none of them – at least in our book – have anything to do with her selling sex for money. We’re totally cool with that.

First of all, taking a girl’s virginity F’ing blows. Not only can it be bloody and painful, the girl has zero clue what she’s doing, so the sex is going to be about as good as humping a couch – maybe.

Second, this girl’s a freakin’ gnarled hosebeast. For $3.7 million, you could be getting a bus load of Playboy models to lick your taint. Instead, some dumbass is paying out the ass to have sh*tty sex with an overly-tanned, two-bit mall rat.

And finally, the instant whichever dumbass sticks his dong in her whooha, she’s no longer a virgin – she’s just a whore. Now tell us again why this is worth it…