Obama Appoints Judge Judy Attorney General!

I love me some TV on-air personalities, but when they start getting Presidential appointments – I start having issues.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s chief medical correspondent, has been approached by Barack Obama’s transition team about the U.S. surgeon general’s post, according to sources inside the transition and at CNN. Gupta, a neurosurgeon, has served as a White House fellow and as a special adviser to then-first lady Hillary Clinton. This was back in the day when she was trying to create a national health care system. Of course, those days were short-lived and are now grundle stains in the cross-dressing panties of US political history.

If Sanjay Gupta gets in, the results could reverberate throughout the entire cable/satellite TV supported universe, causing many other TV personalities knocking down to suck from Obama’s teat.

Attorney General: Judge Judy

Eric Holder doesn’t have jack on Judge Judy for the role of Attorney General in Obama regime. Judith Sheindlin is responsible for taking small claims to the big time. We all remember Judge Wapner and the original People’s Court – but Judy has a certain propensity for “not taking any baloney.” She would be the tough-on-stupidity choice for refining how the legal system takes advantage of average citizens.

With Attorney General Scheindlin, we could look for a new American judicial system with Judge Judy justice where people rep themselves in some of these ridiculous lawsuits garnering millions of dollars in legal fees. I yearn for the day when a class-action judge says, “Where you there sir? No, then sit down and shut up!!”

CIA Director: Jack Bauer

There is much talk of Leon Panetta being a ridiculous choice for CIA head, especially with no intel experience. With the introduction of Gupta, the obvious choice is clear for the CIA job and has been completely overlooked. With his experience as Jack Bauer, Kiefer Sutherland is the obvious choice for CIA head.

My grandmother is the last person to have seen ‘24,’ so from a recruitment standpoint, finding people interested in signing up to serve with Jack/Kiefer should be no problem at all. Plus, with a new season of ‘24′ on the way, the press on the announcement should reach a fevered pitch!

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Gregory House

Tom Daschle may be the politically correct choice for Secretary of Health and Human Services, but as Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie is the badest-assed medical genius in the world. Though Hugh would be a logical choice for Surgeon General, he is too principled to do all of those cigarette and alcohol warnings anyway.

As Head of Health and Human Services, Hugh would be able to offer his courageous words of wisdom and support to the obese, STD ridden and obscure-disease-carrying members of the American public.

Secretary of Education: Jeff Foxworthy

The Secretary of Education position is given to Arne Duncan, but I think “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” is a better model the struggling standards in the American school systems. Jeff Foxworthy is the ideal candidate to take “Blue Collar Education” to the masses.

Even better, with his ratings in the south and in the midwest, Jeff Foxworthy can bring the rednecks to Obama in one giant gift-wrapped box with a confederate flag bow on it.