3 Reasons Barack Obama is No Keanu Reeves

With trailers popping up for his new movie The Day the Earth Stood Still pending release on December 12, we are reminded that in the movies Keanu Reeves is the answer. And at the same time, all over the news and in the media, Barack Obama is being touted as the new Keanu Reeves, capable of solving all our problems with some fantastical superpower. But please heed this warning: Barack Obama is not Keanu Reeves. This world is not the Matrix, or The Day… and Barack is not Neo or Klatuu.

There is so much fanfare with every nomination and every appointment, and I have no idea why. Don’t get me wrong, any change is an improvement right now. But the current crisis will not be over soon. There is no magic touch that will fix the global socio-economic problems, and they will actually get worse before they get better.

1. As Neo, Keanu can defy the laws of physics, Barack cannot defy the laws of Economics. Even Neo couldn’t artificially inflate the Matrix economy if he wanted. Right now the economy is dropping for a variety of reasons, none of which can be solved right away. The housing market and real estate prices were substantially over market-value because money was cheap and loans were given to everyone with a pulse.

We have ALL heard why, but the cure is going to take a while. For every decision to be made, there are deliberations and votes. But once that is done – the implementation is a whole other world. Bailout or not, people on both sides with take advantage of new cheap money and it will only make things worse. It will take at least a year for enough oversight to be put in place to prevent abuse, but by then billions of our tax dollars will be gone. Keanu or not, there is only one Barack and sh*tload of people with fraud schemes.

2. As Klaatu, Keanu controls a robot (Gort) with the ability kick anyone’s ass he wants, Barack has the US Military. Both Gort and the US Military have similar abilities, but let’s not be silly – even here. Everyone admits Iraq is a sh*t-show. Everyone has forgotten how much of a sh*t-show Afghanistan is. Whether it is PC to say or not, there are a lot of pissed off Islamic fundamentalist groups who hate the US, Great Britain and our allies. Oh, by the way, they have a ton of cash thanks to the previous speculators high of $140/barrel for oil. There is only so much the US Military can do, and they ARE doing it with very few questions asked.

It is time to try something else, but for now brute force is all we have. The reason why other countries aren’t obamaspeaking up to help is that they are horrified that if they speak up – they will be next. This is exactly why countries like Japan and China continue to debt finance the American military activites in the Middle East. It is a sad fact, but where the hell did everyone think the money was coming from? That is why they haven’t called in the debt, because they would rather us fight the fight for them. It is time for Barack to tell Gort to chill for a little bit, and ask the rest of the world to strap on a set of balls and do something.

3. In every movie, Keanu speaks to the masses and rallies everyone on both sides together – like it or not the country is polarized and Obama needs to do something. Keanu did the whole trip to Machine City and as Klatuu, the trip to the Lincoln Memorial, and as President, Barack Obama needs to include Replicans and Independents. Now more than ever, everyone needs to feel like they are represented.

I know there was a lot of rah-rah with Hillary being placed as Secretary of State, but there has to be bi-partisan inclusion and no, Gates doesn’t count. In this turbulent global climate, Gates is the ONLY one who can do that job and the next person who says Jimmy Carter should take his place needs to be shot. Carter is 200 years old and was responsible for screwing this country up as bad as W. The point is that Barack needs to try and pull the Keanu card here and hasn’t yet. I am not saying you need to do a “Hands-Across-Congress” Holiday TV special, but you have to do something.