Freakin’ Hot or Freakshow?

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At first glance, these super hotties seem perfectly normal – in fact, they look a hell of a lot better than most people. But take a closer look and you realize they’re more like something from the Coney Island Freak Show than world-famous sex symbols. From nubby thumbs to cyborg bellies, these five beauties put the “freak” in “Freakin’ hot!”

Check out Freakin’ Hot or Freakshow after the break!

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Megan Fox

Until recently, we were under the assumption that Megan Fox was as close to perfection as a woman could get – she’s badass, used to date a stripper named Nikita and is so f**king hot our computers catch fire every time she pops up on the screen. But then it started to go downhill. First, we found out that she’s obsessed with Zac Efron. And then this: her thumb. Megan has the most gnarled club thumb we’ve ever seen. It’s like something out of a nightmare. If that’s the karmic price she paid for being so hot, we’re not sure was worth it.

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Karolina Kurkova

Karolina Kurkova doesn’t have a belly button. So what, right? Wrong. Like it or not, when you’re an internationally-known supermodel, you can’t have a f**ked up body part that everyone can see. Granted, it took a while for anybody to notice, but that’s probably because magazine art directors have been photoshopping other people’s belly buttons onto her pictures, just so she doesn’t look like such a weirdo. Doctors guess her lack of a belly button was caused by surgery she may have had as a child. Our guess? Alien, no doubt about it.

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Gemma Arterton

Gemma Arterton might have the same number of fingers as you now, but that wasn’t always the case. The Quantum of Solace Bond Girl was reportedly born with six fingers on both hands, but doctors quickly “tied-off” the extra digits, causing them to fall off leaving only small scars. Um…ooookkkkaaayyy! That is f**king weird as hell. I mean, what the heck do you do with dead baby fingers after they’ve fallen off, put them in a scrap book?

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Tara Reid

What a shame. Back in the day when American Pie wasn’t a played out series and Tara Reid was still a smokey-voiced hottie, we thought this former bombshell would keep us interested for a long time to come. Boy, were we wrong! First it was her F’ed-up boob job, which we could live with (kinda). But then her stomach started looking like a Chernobyl victim’s vagina and it was all downhill from there.

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Kate Hudson

Ok, so Kate Hudson doesn’t have six toes on one foot – at least she doesn’t anymore. A while back, speculation was swirling around that Hudson did, indeed, have an extra digit on her left foot. Turns out it’s not an extra digit, but an extra chunk of foot that just *looks like a sixth toe* Wow, what an improvement! If you are born with an extra head and just cut it off, leaving the neck, you’re still a freak, let’s just put it that way.

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29 Comments on "Freakin’ Hot or Freakshow?"

  1. Caitlin says:
    Tue, 25th Nov 2008  10:53 pm 

    Don’t you guys think you’re pushing it. I mean, with the exception of Tara Reid’s f-ed up stomach, I had to read what you wrote to even understand what is wrong with these girls.

  2. Kat says:
    Tue, 25th Nov 2008  11:21 pm 

    ^I agree. Most of these are really reaching. I mean, Kate Hudson’s foot looks normal, its just that angle. This was a complete waste of time.

  3. Art says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  12:10 am 

    seriously??? how the hell could any of these women be called a “freakshow?” this is one of the most pathetic attempts i’ve seen at trying to cut down people just because they’re famous. it’s crap like this that makes women think they’ve gotta get all kinds of surgeries to be noticed, then they end up looking worse. you rag on them for that, and then the circle is complete.

  4. Nick says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  12:54 am 

    I agree with everyone, this article was a total waste of time, pointless, uninteresting and unfunny.

  5. Jim says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  1:12 am 

    What is up with the “Club Thumb” one? There’s nothing wrong with that thumb.

  6. Not at all Perfect says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  4:01 am 

    Shit like this is the reason younger and younger girls have self image problems nowadays. Whoever wrote this is sick and I bet you never find true happiness in a partner. I also bet that you’re not perfect. Asshole.

  7. Give me a break says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  4:36 am 

    This is a list of complete bulls**t. First of all most of these pics look like they were doctored, plus all of these women are beautiful no matter what fake photos are posted on the internet. Whoever wrote this is probably the kind of guy couldn’t get laid in a whore house with a fist full of twenties, I mean look at these ladies most men would step over their own mothers to talk to them. (sorry mom…wait, what the hell is my mother on a site like this for?)

  8. houroc says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  6:04 am 

    I thought the post was funny. All you guys who say these girls are all perfect and shit would be happy if any girl smiled at you. Knock it off you losers

  9. Nesk says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  12:11 pm 

    houroc you are the loser if you think this Girls are not good enough for you.
    and a idiot too!

  10. Hugh Jarce says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  3:23 pm 

    Gemma Artertons little finger is all there, it’s just in a bit of shadow and curled back, difficult to see but definately not freakish.

  11. James Ortiz says:
    Wed, 26th Nov 2008  10:46 pm 

    No offense to any of the previous posters… I believe that the total bombardment on celebrities by the media is way out of line, and a sad introspective on our need to hurt… well… anyone we see.

    I think that was the point of the article though. I really got that feeling looking at the pictures. The first thought that went through my mind was, “This is a rip on TMZ.”

    If you don’t agree, I understand. Maybe I’m just hoping that we haven’t sunken this low.

  12. ler123 says:
    Thu, 27th Nov 2008  1:57 am 

    OH COME ON. This article is meant as a JOKE. You laugh, and move on…not blame society’s downfall on the author. And Megan’s thumb really is disturbing.

  13. Jim says:
    Thu, 27th Nov 2008  7:56 pm 

    I dont care how hot she is, that /$”$ up thumb is not getting anywhere near my dick

  14. shit says:
    Thu, 4th Dec 2008  7:28 pm 

    go kill yourself fuckers! shit fuck!

  15. darn! says:
    Thu, 4th Dec 2008  7:31 pm 

    hi guys

  16. matt says:
    Fri, 19th Dec 2008  4:19 pm 

    Megan Fox is a goddess in barely passable as human form and the only reason any of you idiots wouldn’t give everything you own for a chance to sleep with her is because you would cum in your pants as soon as she touched you (in a sexual way or not) not anything to do with her thumb

  17. Jake says:
    Mon, 2nd Feb 2009  4:30 am 

    F*ck u motherf*!ker! Complete waste of time.

  18. wararar says:
    Sun, 17th May 2009  3:41 am 

    I disagree with all the comments. I think this is a very useful article! It teaches us that all women are not all really pretty, I mean sure they’re pretty as heck but do you really want to know..? I mean come on? That’s why I have the eye of beauty, see a girl from her personality not just her appearance or face! who knows! the pretty girl must have and GOTS to have some de-function

  19. Anthony says:
    Thu, 11th Jun 2009  11:18 am 

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

  20. QueenToeThumb says:
    Thu, 11th Jun 2009  11:55 am 

    As one of the elite group of people in this world born with “toe thumbs”, as you call them, I can assure you that we are are about as tough a group as you will ever find. Maybe because of the teasing we endured.

    In palmistry this thumb is called “The Murderer’s Thumb”.

  21. Dave says:
    Mon, 15th Jun 2009  4:05 pm 

    This list is just poking a bit of fun at “perfect” people. OK So Megan Fox has a flaw! We can now rejoice!

    Don’t think this will hurt girls self esteem to poke at the large egos of actresses and models.

    The only wack one was Kate Hudson. That foot looked BARELY weird but doesn’t deserve a spot on a list like this.

    Gemma Arterton was a freaky baby but now she’s fixed up and smoking hot so shut up.

  22. dfh says:
    Mon, 6th Jul 2009  8:01 pm 

    Your such a fucking idiot of making this post. Ooooo Megan Fox has sommit wrong with her thumb – boo fuckin hoo. Man up shes still so fine like most of the girls here, except Tara Reid’s shanked stomach.

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